A/N: This one-shot is a follow-up to my story "A Bond Too Strong". I wrote it because I didn't like Robin's emotional reaction at the end of the story. It references scenes and actions from that story several times. It might be helpful to read that one first but I don't think it's absolutely necessary.
As usual, Batman and Robin are loosely based off the 1960s TV show but go back and forth between genres and are sometimes completely out of any characterization. I write it the way it enters my head, which is not always "historically" accurate. Italics usually represent thoughts to oneself but are sometimes used to add emphasis.
Dick Grayson studied himself in the full-length mirror. The physical wounds were almost gone – the cast had come off his arm a few days ago and his ribs hadn't needed wrapping in a week. It was his mind that was hurting, the thoughts that were haunting him.
Yes, he had been part of the reason that Batman was a hero again, but that didn't excuse the mistakes. He knew Bruce was disappointed in him, even if he didn't show it. How could he not be – the kid he had trained had made a mess of things. Sure, Batman had said he was 'good enough' but that was because he was trying to keep Robin calm after saving him.
He's the one that did the saving. But I brought his mind back. No, she gave him a smaller dose and he beat it!
Batman was trying to make up for throwing him in a dumpster. That's all it was.
But, he did sound like he meant it. Of course he did, he had to make it convincing.
Dick groaned quietly and whispered, "Shut up!"
Why did he have to fight with himself? Why couldn't he just go talk to Bruce?
He'll think you're weak. He said I was strong. So many mistakes.
Dick ran a hand through his dark hair then dropped his head, sighing heavily. He wasn't supposed to be feeling like this; everything was back to normal! Batman was a hero again, everyone was healthy and Robin was about to go out on patrol. He should be jumping for joy right now; he'd been waiting a month for Robin to return!
Bruce Wayne paced back and forth in his study. Was Dick truly ready? It had only been a month since Robin had rescued Batman. He knew his ward was itching to be back and he seemed normal but…something didn't feel right. Dick was upset about something, although it didn't show in his demeanor. But the tension radiating off the teen's body was tangible.
He looks fine, sounds fine and his wounds are almost fully healed. What's wrong?
Sometimes Bruce would catch Dick staring at him when the boy thought the man wasn't looking. Dick would open his mouth as if to say something but then a shadow of pain would enter his eyes and he would shut his mouth again.
Is he afraid of me?
"Just go talk to him," Bruce muttered angrily to himself.
Oh, grow up! Apologize and take the consequences like a man.
Dick slid down the Bat-pole, becoming Robin before landing in the Batcave. Batman was already there and he looked up as Robin walked over to him.
"We have a lead," Batman stated, watching Robin carefully as he made his way over to the Bat-computer. "Catwoman was sighted near Gotham Symphony Hall."
Not realizing the implications of his next words, the Caped Crusader asked, "Are you sure you're strong enough to go out after a month of inactivity?"
And there it was. So it really was true. Batman didn't think he was strong enough. Even though Robin had suspected this, the words stung. He heard his voice shaking slightly as he stammered, "Um, yeah, I'm ready, let's go!"
Hiding emotions was not Robin's strong point, although he thought he had been doing pretty well up until this moment. Feeling tears beginning to well up in his eyes, he turned toward the Batmobile.
Don't show weakness.
As he was walking to the Batmobile, Batman glanced at Robin out of the corner of his eye. Was the boy nervous? Why did his young voice sound so unsteady? Maybe he wasn't strong – no, wrong word – healed enough to go. Maybe another week or two of rest…?
Better to find out now than when we are in pursuit of Catwoman.
Opening his mouth to ask Robin if everything was okay, Batman noticed something glistening on his partner's cheek. Was that a…tear?
He's in pain. He's not ready. He's scared. ASK HIM!
As they climbed in the car Batman asked, "How are you doing?"
Nice. Perfect way to start an important conversation. What kind of idiotic question was that?
"Um, good, everything's good. How about you?" Robin replied, quickly swiping away the moisture on his cheek.
Okay, wow. Can you sound any more awkward?
Deciding he'd better get to the point before they left, Batman said, "I'm fine. Now, what's wrong? You've been acting rather strange these last two weeks."
Of course he noticed. He's smart and you're not hiding your emotions as well as you thought you were.
Had it only been two weeks since Robin suspicions had been confirmed? Two weeks since his confidence had been shattered?
He's going to be disappointed in you, again.
That voice in his head, taunting him, helping him remember every mistake he had ever made, especially when he was attempting to save Batman.
Attempting – the key word. You never would have been able to do it, even with Alfred's help. You're lucky she gave him a smaller dose. You were going to lose him.
Silence reigned as these thoughts rushed through Robin's head. Looking over at him, Batman started to worry. Robin was never silent. He always had a quip or a sarcastic comment or some action that conveyed his emotions. But here he was, silent and still. Then Batman saw the teenager's jaw clench and hoped everything was about to come out.
"Oh, sorry. I've just been feeling cooped up. You know, tired of not being allowed to be Robin, tired of waiting for injuries to heal, etc."
Robin's head was down and his eyes were focused on his hands twisting nervously in his lap. He had answered so quietly that Batman almost had to stop breathing to hear him.
That was not what Batman had been expecting. It had to be something more, something deeper. 'Tired of waiting' was a superficial excuse to evade the intense questions Batman was thinking about asking. Determined to get to the root of whatever was going on in his partner's head, Batman unbuckled his safety Bat-belt, opened his door, got out and instructed Robin to do the same.
Here it comes. Why did I let that question get to me? Because he's disappointed and you're too scared to hear it.
Robin closed his eyes in despair then opened them, obediently unbuckled his safety Bat-belt and exited the car.
"Shouldn't we be going after Catwoman? She's pretty good at escaping, you know," the Boy Wonder stated uneasily.
"No. This is more important," Batman replied sharply. He turned to face Robin, folding his arms across his chest.
"What's this and what's more important than saving Gotham?" Robin was surprised at Batman's reaction.
Gotham always comes first! The mission always comes first!
Using deliberate pauses between words Batman demanded, "What. Is. Wrong?"
Robin flinched as he remembered the last time Batman had slowed a sentence down like that. Unconsciously rubbing his formerly broken arm, he looked at the floor and tried to come up with a believable answer.
Just tell him. He doesn't want to hear excuses. Just tell him. He won't trust you anymore. Just tell him.
Batman waited, a little impatiently, as different emotions flitted across Robin's young face. What was he trying to hide?
Just tell me!
Keeping his eyes on the floor, Robin rushed the words out before his small spark of courage could falter.
"I know I made a lot of mistakes when I tried to rescue you and I know you're disappointed in me and I'm sorry I'm not as good as you but I promise I'll try to be better and train harder and do more…" he trailed off when he heard a sharp intake of breath.
Batman's voice was low as he replied, "Please don't ever say any of that again." Taking a moment to reflect on the story that Robin and Alfred had shared with him, Batman continued, "I can't think of any mistakes you made. You aren't the one that should be sorry. I attacked you. I threw you in a dumpster! YOU are the one who should be disappointed in ME!"
The Caped Crusader realized his voice was rising and he stopped talking. Taking a deep breath and dropping his arms, he sat down on a stool near the Bat-analyzer.
"I realize that it must be hard for you to trust me. If you don't want to go on patrol with me, I understand."
This is my fault. He thinks I think he's weak. Alfred was right; I didn't know how strong he was before all of this happened. I've made him feel inadequate.
Robin stared at him in shock. He stumbled over his words as he yelled in frustration, "You…you're not…but you were taken! I should have been able to find you sooner! YOU would have been able to find yourself right away!"
The teen began pacing as he tried to calm down. Stopping directly in front of Batman and lowering his voice he pushed on, "I did everything wrong. I should have stayed at the skylight. I wasted time on a search that went nowhere. I didn't use my brain when I tasted salt in the air so I almost blew up. I was distracted when facing an opponent. I almost lost my only hope of finding you. I ended up tied to a CHAIR!" His voice was increasing in volume as he ticked off all his shortcomings on his fingers.
"Stop!" Batman commanded. "The things you did right thoroughly outweigh any mistakes you think you made. You stayed on the roof, like I told you to. You used your training and were observant. You took out three big men by yourself. You planted a tracking device on me while I…" he stopped, his throat closing as the image of Robin's limp, battered body materialized in his head.
Closing his eyes, the hero took a deep breath and, upon regaining control, opened his eyes and continued, "You pulled my mind out of the darkness by demonstrating your trust in me. You could have died by throwing yourself in the air while tied to a chair! You…"
"No!" Robin interrupted loudly. "You fought off the drug because she gave you a smaller dose. That was all you! You saved me when I was supposed to be saving you! I FAILED!" he shouted and dropped to the floor in a miserable heap.
"I was able to fight off the drug BECAUSE OF YOU!" Batman roared, surprising them both. Suddenly he was on the floor next to Robin. Immediately changing his tone he said, "We saved each other. Let's call it even, okay?"
Robin had dropped his eyes to the floor again.
"Look at me," the man demanded but there was no movement from the boy. Putting his hand under the small chin and gently lifting it, Batman stated, "I'm going to say it again and I will say it as many times as necessary until you realize it's true. You are strong, smart, and resourceful. You will always, always, be better than 'good enough'. If not for you, I might not even be here having this conversation. I know you have my back and I trust you."
Am I getting through to him?
The Caped Crusader searched the light-blue eyes of his partner. There was disappointment outlined with anger but a tinge of confidence was sliding around the edges.
He's just saying that. Maybe. Does he really believe that? Why would he lie?
"I trust you, too," Robin declared thoughtfully, successfully eradicating the gloating voice for what he hoped was forever. "Just…don't go falling in love with any more villains, okay?"
Batman grinned. "I'll do my best. If it does happen, just knock me out until the drug wears off. Deal?"
Robin looked up at him with a smile. "Deal," he replied. "Now, let's go catch a cat," he said while pushing himself up off the floor.
"Robin," Batman said quietly as he, too, stood up.
The Boy Wonder looked at him expectantly.
"You can always talk to me, even if you think I might be disappointed. I seriously doubt that will ever happen, though. You have never disappointed me as Dick or Robin. Thanks for being my partner."
"Yeah, yeah, don't get all mushy on me," Robin chuckled. Becoming more serious he added, "And, uh, thanks for letting me be your sidekick, even though I mess up a lot."
Shaking his head, Batman replied, "I said partner, Robin, not sidekick."
With a smirk on the younger face and a slight grin on the older one, the heroes climbed into the Batmobile. The vehicle roared to life and the Dynamic Duo went in search of a felonious feline.
THE END