Title: The Last Cut
Summary: They can never control which world they're hurled into or whom they will meet. They come forth, stay a little and leave once again. But once in a century, they stop when there's someone truly there whom they need to wait for.
Rating: T
Warnings: Dark. Angst. Crossover.
Disclaimers: I don't own the characters; Clamp has all rights to them.
XXX
The Last Cut
By Sei-chan-1999
When Subaru had seen the name on the huge laminated register tacked to the whitewashed and sterile wall, he had insisted on seeing it to end even though Kamui had protested, grabbing at his cloak in desperation. For the first time, Subaru had been angry with his twin.
"How would you feel, Kamui, if it were my name?"
Kamui had faltered then, because if he had walked into the hospital of another world to see his brother's name under a room number, he would've charged through everything, ripping down anything in his way to make sure Subaru was all right, even if it wasn't the same person.
But…to see himself…here…
Subaru looked up to meet his eyes.
"You don't have to come if you're uncomfortable with it, Kamui," he said softly, angry at himself for lashing out at his younger twin like that, "But I need to do this. Please understand."
Kamui shook his head in distress but he let go of Subaru's sleeve and sighed.
"I know. I'll come."
They decided to come back later in the night when they could do what they needed to without interference from the outside world.
Kamui Shirou
Subaru aimed a quick look at his twin. He didn't blame Kamui. To see his own name printed on the door of a place of another dimension that claimed to house the insane and terminally ill…
Kamui looked at him before stepping past and pushing it open for him. Subaru went in first and he followed.
The room within was grey rather than white and the only purpose of the color seemed to be to rip away any remaining feeling of life in the place and remind occupants of the unknown that waited to consume them.
The boy on the bed sat with his back to them. His hair was cropped short from behind as if someone had just brutally hacked at it as fast as possible rather than taking the time and care to sift through its layers and picking the best way to trim it neatly to flatter his appearance.
From the way Kamui twitched from behind him, Subaru knew that it was his brother who sat opposite to them. Another hurt Kamui from another dark Universe.
The boy didn't seem to be aware of two new entities in his room. He was gazing out of a darkened window, his arms moving slightly as he fiddled with his fingers. He was wearing a thin white gown that was clearly too thin for him since he shivered every now and then.
There were the straps of a surgical mask hooked behind his ears, leaving red marks there and he was slouching.
When Kamui shifted behind him again, the boy on the bed stiffened as if sensing him there and turned around so sharply that he ripped the hem of his papery hospital gown.
Indignant and defensive violet eyes met theirs. There were dark rings beneath them and he kept blinking as if trying to clear his vision quickly.
"I don't-" he started unsteadily, his voice a little scratchy from non-usage and he cut himself off, gazing at the two of them, suddenly frightened as he pulled the mask down with one hand to reveal a surprised child-like mouth and parted lips.
Subaru quickly went before him and knelt so they were at the same level and took the younger boy's head between his gloved hands, smiling at him kindly.
"Shirou-san?" he asked and the boy nodded, moving Subaru's hands as he did so. His skin was feverish and he looked a few minutes away from collapsing. A thin hand latched onto Subaru's sleeve as if seeking comfort or an answer in a dichotomy of deceit and truth. The vampire had to smile; the same thing his Kamui had done to him that very morning.
"Subaru?" Kamui Shirou asked in turn and Subaru nodded.
"But I'm not the same as the one you know," he corrected gently.
The boy's shoulders slumped in disappointment and he took in Subaru's features for a moment before turning to his other version who stood impassively at the doorway, watching them both with his arms crossed, his face dead.
"He's my twin brother," Subaru was quick to explain and watched shock flick over Kamui Shirou's face.
"Brother?" he stammered.
"What was he to you?"
The question came from Kamui who approached then to stand at his brother's side. Shirou looked at him in confusion as Subaru stood up too and suddenly, the boy was struggling to speak without choking up.
"I don't know. He wasn't…he didn't…he saved my life two years back and brought me here. After that I don't know where he is right now. I'm sorry."
Subaru let go of Kamui's face as the teenager took in the two of them yet again and he patiently waited for what would come; anger, aimed at him for what the other Subaru of this world had done to make him like that, amazement, disbelief, a demand for proof or a rational explanation.
Kamui did none of what he'd expected.
Instead, he giggled while looking at his bare feet.
Subaru found himself smiling too while his twin looked slightly disgusted.
"What's so funny?" he asked, when the boy didn't show any sign of stopping despite the fact that he was running out of breath.
"Him. Me," he pointed at Kamui, who was still eyeing his distrustfully," He's taller than you. I always wanted to be taller than Subaru."
Subaru stared at him for a second before he broke into laughter.
Even Kamui managed half a smile at that.
"Why? Were you not twins?"
This time, it was his twin again and Subaru was glad that his brother was finally warming up to the human before them.
Kamui shook his head in wonder at the thought.
"Subaru was twenty-five when I saw him last. I was sixteen. He had a twin before but I don't know much about her…except that the Sakurazukamori killed her."
"Her?" Subaru asked curiously.
"Sakurazukamori?" Kamui demanded.
Kamui Shirou looked away.
"Subaru called him 'Seishirou-san'," he admitted and it was Subaru's arm gripping Kamui's wrist that stopped his twin from whisking them both away to another dimension at that moment.
"He was an assassin," Kamui went on. After a pause, "He's dead. You don't need to worry if that's what was bothering you." He addressed Kamui and the vampire relaxed a little.
And then-
"Subaru killed him."
XXX
They met him every night, long after the visiting hours were over. He learned of their story and they learned his. After two years with virtually no human contact apart from numerous doctors and psychologists, the boy was close to happy whenever he saw them.
He was slightly wary of Subaru and intrigued by Kamui.
"Where is he now?" Kamui asked him one night when Shirou talked about how he and his world's Subaru had been involved together in the fight for Earth's future. They stuck to Subaru Sumeragi as a safe topic. The first time Kamui had broached the subject of Fuuma, the boy had broken down into hysterical tears and had been unable to stop.
"I don't know. I think he thinks staying away from me is the safest thing for me."
Silence.
"I hate him," Kamui Shirou whispered, his eyes blazing as he involuntarily kicked the leg of the metal bed he was sitting on and then remembered whom he was with.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, Subaru, please don't-"
Subaru shushed him but his face was dark with anger. He hated himself so much for something he had and hadn't done.
"It's all right," Subaru soothed the younger boy and messed up his hair affectionately, "I hate him too."
Some things never changed, even through other Universes.
Both Kamui's rolled their eyes.
XXX
"How old are you, Subaru?"
Kamui asked the question quietly, through the oxygen mask strapped to his face. His breath fogged up the plastic as he looked up at the green-eyed vampire from where he lay flat on the bed. Subaru sat on the edge, keeping watch over him and calming him down when the pain got unbearable.
"Don't speak, Kamui. You've just had a surgery."
"He won't listen to you," his twin supplied helpfully and Subaru turned to nail him with an irritated look. Sometimes, he had trouble figuring out which Kamui was younger.
"I've been alive for centuries," he answered finally, moving his hand to wipe perspiration from Kamui's forehead. Kamui closed his eyes, exhausted.
"Will you stay for a few more days, please? I'm sorry. I can't say much today…"
His voice was slurred with oncoming sleep.
"We'll stay."
It was Kamui who answered, looking outside the black window he leaned against and Subaru turned to him in surprise before smiling widely, even though he knew neither Kamui could see him do it.
"Just maybe three more days?" Kamui Shirou implored sleepily.
"Don't say that," Subaru rebuked him sternly, "You had a surgery to save your life, not end it."
He bent over awkwardly and hugged the boy to himself so hard that Kamui opened his eyes a little and blinked adorably.
"Hold still," Subaru ordered when Kamui squirmed underneath him, "My brother never stands around long enough to let me do this."
Kamui Shirou laughed a little before closing his eyes and curling up against Subaru. That was the last thing he ever did that night. His twin said nothing.
XXX
The two of them nearly collided in the hospital's hallway. The twenty-seven year old man who wore black from head to toe, with dark uncut hair and striking green eyes. The tall youth with cold amethyst eyes, unruly brown hair and an ageless face.
They stared at each other for a moment. Cold disregard and curiosity met up with stunned astonishment.
"You're too late. As always," Kamui said coolly and pushed past him, "He went into a coma this morning. I trust that you will attend to him after his death and guide him to his next destination."
He left the Sumeragi there and went to find his brother. It was time to leave.
XXX
The name was taken off the register, the room was cleared and someone else came in to fill up the spot.
"I'm sorry I put you through all of that," Subaru apologized to Kamui as they stood over the solemn stone grave, "making you watch yourself grow weaker like that, day by day, abandoned by the world and then dying after everything you'd been through."
"It's all right."
They stood in silence together, paying their respects although their thoughts were elsewhere. Worlds away. Dimensions apart.
"Shall we go?" Kamui invited finally. Subaru took his hand as he waited for that moment of disappearance until a thought struck him; one that he couldn't keep inside.
"Do you think what will happen is inevitable?" Subaru asked suddenly, pulling his hand free.
"What?" His twin looked like he'd been slapped.
"Do you believe from what we've seen, that the two of us are destined for tragedy wherever we go…and that what we do simply prolongs what is ultimately to happen?"
It was an entirely unfair question to spring on his younger twin; he was shattering everything Kamui had stood for and it was the sort of psychological weapon that only he knew how to wield.
Kamui lowered his head and looked at the grave. His grave.
"I don't care. I won't let him catch up to us, and I will do everything within my power while I'm alive to make sure of that," he replied finally.
Subaru sighed and turned away to look at the sky. It was grey. He hated this place. He could feel the decaying presence of someone else here in this world; someone he never wanted to see and never wanted to leave.
"Let's leave," he said and for the very first time in their journey, he was the one who held onto his twin as they plunged into the dark waters of the next anticipating dimension.
The End.
XXX
Author's note:
This is a problem, which only Clamp fanfiction writers face: Does this fic go in the Crossovers section, the TRC section or the X/1999 section? I had no clue and went with TRC.
I wrote this because I always thought X Kamui needed someone as friendly as TRC Subaru to help him out and X Subaru needed a fighter like TRC Kamui to point out some facts of life to him.
Please read, review, drop me a personal message or let me know what you think. Writers would trade their basic needs for a good review of their work. And I would, of course, return the favor for you because I'm nice like that, unlike Clamp, although I still love them. ^^