First Chapter: A Moment To Take It All In
Lorelai was taking everything in. She looked at the details, which made the wedding location as special as it was; the twinkle lights, the decorations, which Kirk managed to put just perfectly into place, the couch, the richly decorated tables, and the flowers all over the place. It felt like a fairy-tale. The destination after a long rocky road, which Lorelai and Luke had to get through to finally reach this paradise.
It was a memorable moment. The emotions overcame her when Rory herself said she wanted to take it all in, remember it all, every detail. She was touched that her daughter felt just as strongly about the wedding as she did. Rory was truly happy for her, and Lorelai was tearing up. Something she thought she would do all day long anyway, so why not start right away?
However, what Lorelai didn't know was that Rory meant she wanted to take it all in before sharing news, which would make this change permanently. After hearing this news, Lorelai couldn't go back to look at her surroundings the same way as before. It changed everything, forever. Every detail she had looked at with such adoration just a moment before was now a sour reminder of the conversation she had to face with her daughter.
Her wedding location would always be the place she'd hear two words she thought she'd never hear, at least not under these circumstances. When thinking of the flowers in the Gazebo, she'd always instantly remember the two words, which made it clear to her that her daughter had lost a grip on her life. Rory was headed in a direction, which mother and daughter had never envisioned.
Big words were floating around in Lorelai's mind. Big words, which indicated questions, but one sounded sillier than the other. But she had to ask them anyhow. She had to react to the news in some way, so she asked the words one by one, question after question.
"What?" Lorelai had to hear the words Rory had spoken once again. But still she couldn't comprehend them. Pregnant. Rory was pregnant. Her daughter was pregnant. It was a surprise, which caught her off guard; Lorelai didn't even know Rory was seeing someone at the moment. Which lead her to question number two.
"How?" Rory scoffed at the question; she was the living proof that Lorelai knew how reproducing worked. But the question entailed the claim for different basic information, which Lorelai voiced by asking another question.
"When?" It included both, how long did she know, and when did it happen. Time was a big issue here. Lorelai couldn't believe Rory was able to keep a secret from her. It led her to the final question.
"Who?" Lorelai watched as Rory looked down to her lap, kneading her fingers, working up the courage to tell her, who the father was to the unborn child. In fact, Rory wasn't sure who the father was. She couldn't remember the last time she had seen that Paul and the other option, Logan Huntzberger, was about to get married to another woman. One option was worse than the other, but Lorelai didn't voice her concern.
Instead, she gripped the champagne glass tighter. She was indeed good at finishing off the bottle. She remembered now that Rory only had sipped at her glass, hardly taking a proper slug of alcohol. She didn't even remember topping Rory's glass off, but Lorelai had been more focused on taking it all in, eyeing the man she vowed to share her life with. The man, who would always stand by her side. And this man would soon hear the news she was still comprehending, still getting the ugly details about.
As Rory talked, Lorelai couldn't help, but wonder whether this conversation would have taken place at Weston's if the bakery was open this early. These kinds of talks were always the ones Rory was eager to have at Weston's. Big news was best served with a cup of coffee and a piece of pie. Oh boy, Lorelai longed for a cup of coffee, but the champagne did the trick too.
Overall, the circumstances for this pregnancy weren't ideal, but Rory pointed out that they weren't ideal when Lorelai had her. Lorelai sighed when she heard that. But Rory insisted upon it. "If it worked out once for a Gilmore Girl, then it could for another."
As they talked about it, Lorelai noticed that all Rory really needed was someone to talk to, to listen to, and to get support from. She needed a partner on this, but Lorelai was her mother, and her best friend. Both of these people would ask inconvenient questions and would point out weak points in her plan. Both, mother and best friend would show her other options, help her to decide on the best one and would then support her throughout the process.
"Did you do one of your pro-and-con-lists?" Lorelai asked suddenly. She sensed that Rory's mind was already made up and there was no point of talking it all out anymore. She seemed set to have the child.
"I won't have an abortion, Mom. Because I don't want the life I leave behind with having this child. You've seen me struggle. I tried hard to become a journalist and I was for some time. It was good, but it's not where I should be. At least not anymore. Having this child gives me perspective. I know it's not a job, well it's a full-time-job obviously, but not a job which makes money. But this forces me to change things, to do something. While having an abortion doesn't make me change anything. And I don't want to go back to the life I had before. I mean there's nothing left of it. I don't have any writing jobs at the moment, that Logan-thing is over and Paul... I don't want to be that Rory anymore. With having the child, I will have to pull myself together and I'm ready, Mom. I'm ready to-"
Lorelai placed a hand on Rory's shoulder to stop her rant, her monologue of truths. She spat it all out in one go, the real problems in her life. It hurt Lorelai to see her daughter like this, hoarding these feeling inside her, when all which should be inside her, was a bunch of cells growing to become a human. All of Rory's energy should be bundled to have a healthy baby and not used up by worrying about the circumstances.
"Thanks for listening, Mom." Rory finally said. She shifted in her seat, sitting straighter than before, taking deep breaths.
"No problem, kiddo." Lorelai tried to give her a promising smile; a smile, which should comfort her. She didn't want her baby to worry too much. It stressed her out when Rory was stressed out.
"You should probably stop calling me that." Rory chuckled at the comment, it was almost not audible, but her lips curled up to a tiny smile as well.
"Why? You'll always be my baby." Lorelai frowned. Nothing could ever change the fact that Rory was her kid, her only baby.
"Even though your baby is having a baby herself now?" Rory asked her warily.
Lorelai felt uncomfortable with the question. It was new territory, which yet needed to be discovered. She was afraid of the unknown, but as soon as she looked into the eyes she gave to her daughter she saw a glimpse of hope and something like assurance. "Things like that don't change, you will learn that someday."
Rory nodded and let her gaze wander back to the wedding decorations. They sat some more in silence and took everything in again, all the details, which suddenly had changed after talking the big news out.
The sun was out properly now and it was time to head home. They had stretched their moment alone a little too long. Two hours of sleep would be the most they would get this night and that would hardly be enough to live up to the extravaganza, which was ahead of them.
Lorelai entered the bedroom quietly, she didn't want to wake her husband. She smiled at the thought. Her husband. And the same time she frowned. Her husband stayed their first night as a married couple alone in bed. There was no consummation of their marriage. Her husband had spent their first night alone in bed with the dog.
Lorelai had told Luke not to wait up for her, when she asked him to leave her alone for a quiet mother-daughter-moment. It was the end of an era. There were no longer just mother and daughter, someone new, who had entered their lives almost two decades ago, took a very important place in their lives now. Lorelai understood now, even after the news Rory had dropped over her head, that marrying Luke could only happen when she could let go off her tight bond with Rory.
Her daughter was grown now; she had her own head and made her own decisions for her life, despite what her mother thought of it. The book proofed that. She wrote it regardless of Lorelai's feelings. And after those words spoken in the Gazebo, Lorelai knew they were no longer the inseparable Gilmore Girls, Rory was so eager to write about.
Or maybe now was the right moment to write about it when it was the end of that period of their life and the beginning of a new era for both of the Gilmore Girls. Rory would have to learn to adapt to being a single mother, while Lorelai had to learn to be a wife and a grandmother at the same time.
After Lorelai had removed her make-up, she took off the dress she'd always consider her real wedding-dress, and not the others she would wear later that day. She snuggled under the covers and was careful not to move too much. She was set on giving Luke the peaceful sleep he deserved after all the stress she had put him though in the last weeks. He had been convinced he had lost Lorelai when she went for her Wild-trip, and, in the end, he won her, for real this time, permanently, forever, as his wife. She belonged to him, just as much as he belonged to her.
Lorelai took a deep breath and looked at her left hand, on which the wedding ring was sitting on her finger. It was a pity she had to remove the ring once more before the ceremony. She wanted it to stick there forever. It felt nice to have the extra weight on the finger; it felt natural, just like it had been there for years.
Eventually, she decided to take her eyes away from the ring and let them drift to her husband, the man she called her partner in life. She rolled onto her side to gain a better perspective. It calmed her down how steadily he took breath after breath as he slept. Watching her husband made her forget what news she had just heard half an hour ago.
Watching him made her realise that she could survive anything as long as he was next to her. The ring on both of their hands made sure that this was going to happen. There were no insecurities anymore. It was clear and out there that they belonged together, committing to each other, no more doubts coming from her mother, no more fear that the other could easily leave the other. It would take a stack of paperwork now if one wanted to leave the other, which would ensure the other enough time to make the one filing for the divorce understand why they still belonged together. There was no more running. No more what-ifs. No more.
It was just them. A fully committed, married couple, living together, sharing their lives with each other, giving the other the love and support they needed.
Lorelai sighed. It was such a long and rocky road getting here and yet there were not destined to start their married life happily, without a single problem ahead of them, instead they were heading into rough weather.
She silently debated whether she should tell Luke Rory's news, whether she could grant him one day without worries, without the knowledge of the storm ahead of them, whether it was even her news to tell, whether she could start into this marriage with keeping secrets from her husband.
And in the end, Luke took that decision from her, when he opened his eyes. His lips instantly switched into a smile when he saw Lorelai lying across from him. When Lorelai didn't return his smile, he lost his too. Lorelai felt Luke reaching out for her cheek, caressing her jaw. He asked, "What's up? You don't regret this, do you?"
Lorelai caught his hand at her jaw, squeezing it tightly; she made sure her wedding ring was pressing hard against his hand. She wanted him to know there was no way in this world she would ever regret marrying him. It was the right choice. She shook her head, placing a light kiss against his palm.
Luke then reached out to place a kiss on her forehead, which made Lorelai close her eyes and relax some more into his touch. She felt safe with him. She always did and that's when she decided that the no-secrets-rule had to be kept alive in this marriage. No more keeping things from her husband, the man she called her safe harbour. "Luke, I'm afraid the tough times of our marriage start right now."
At first, Luke thought this was the introduction to a joke, but Lorelai's voice sounded too serious, not a hint of cheerfulness in it. He didn't answer her, but gathered her properly into his arms. Her head was buried in the crook of his neck, while he buried his into her hair; the smell of her shampoo filled his nose. He loved that she smelt like a fruit-salad, even though she hated eating fruit in real life. Putting fruit on your hair and skin was not the same as putting them into your body.
Lorelai didn't put the tough times they were forced to face into words instantly. She took her time, being close to her husband in their bed, on their wedding day, after their elopement, before the wedding ceremony, which all the people who cared for them were here to witness. They only had little moments left to be all alone today. A long line of big moment after big moment was ahead of them, filled with people, who wanted to give their love to them, but all that really mattered was the love they shared for each other.
Eventually, Lorelai dared to look up again, to meet the eyes, which were patiently waiting for an answer. She caressed his cheek just like he had done minutes before to her. The stubble was showing already and she would remind him to shave later, even though she had grown to like the rough look on him. With one last deep breath, Lorelai finally talked about the events in the Gazebo after Luke and the others had left for their respective beds.
Lorelai watched carefully as Luke's face sprang from surprise, to disappointment, to confusion, to a glimpse of joy, to a state of astonishment. It expressed an obvious loss of words. Eventually, he admitted, "It's a lot to take in."
Lorelai nodded. "I know. I don't know how I feel about it either. I mean, being a Grandmother. I'm not old enough for that."
"Your daughter is 32. It's an absolute normal age to have children." Luke pointed out and Lorelai had to admit he was right. 32 was double the age she was when she was pregnant with Rory. It was not a scandal to have a child at 32, a normal age to have a child. The best age to have a child maybe, not too old, not too young. But it wasn't the age that bothered Lorelai, it were the circumstances that Rory was heading into single-motherhood.
Luke agreed with her. The circumstances were awful when they were honest to themselves. Rory had no job, and no place to live. The absence of a father was not ideal either, but Lorelai would never point out that a child needed a father and a mother. She didn't want to become her own mother.
Despite Rory getting pregnant at an unplanned time, this didn't mean Rory would follow her mother's steps in every single way. This seemed like history repeated itself, but Lorelai was set to fight against every mistake her parents did to her when she was pregnant with Rory. The story would not become full circle.
Lorelai and Luke talked about ways to support Rory and get her back on the right way. They decided to make her stay with them, even expanding the house a little to make room for Rory and the baby. She'd need time to get on her own feet again and a baby needed certainly a lot of things, which cost money, which Rory without a steady job couldn't provide.
Moreover, Rory was set on writing the book, still with everything happening, she would need a place and time to write too. Within close reach, Lorelai and Luke would be able to help her out any time she wanted. Living in Queens like she intended to do just a couple of days ago, was not the right option when Rory wanted to rely on her family's help, even more with Emily living on Nantucket now.
Neither Lorelai nor Luke wanted their first grandchild growing up far away where they could only occasionally pop over. They wanted to be involved and spoil the child rotten. They smiled at the thought of finally getting their fresh kid together.
The more they talked about it, the more plans they made, the better Lorelai felt about the situation. She felt the smiles creeping more and more often over her lips. She laughed over little jokes Luke and she shared or a thought she liked. She got comfortable with the situation. It didn't overwhelm her anymore, talking about it helped and Luke was such a good listener.
They were ready to face the tough times of their marriage, but first off they were ready to face the wedding ceremony all of Stars Hollow had waited to happen far too long.
"We're some pair, aren't we?" Luke said as he reached for Lorelai's upper arm to pat it playfully. "Getting married and having a grandchild on the same day. We don't do things the ordinary way."
"Well, the kid's not born yet, so I say, we can still be considered within the norm." Lorelai countered back. She rose an eyebrow, she liked being right. They locked eyes, little smiles on their faces, they watched the other with adoration.
"Within the norm or not, I wouldn't want it any other way", Luke said with a great amount of affection towards her. He looked at her intensely. Lorelai was caught off guard by his words, she let them sink in. She thought about them and came to a different outcome than her husband. Her eyes filled with tears again, she bit down on her bottom lip to remain calm.
Luke sighed. "Don't dwell on the past or think about what-ifs. They don't get you anywhere."
"It's just- we could have had this a decade ago." Lorelai shrugged; she knew what-ifs wouldn't get her anyway, but if she wasn't able to be nostalgic on her wedding day when could she?
"We weren't apart for this time. We didn't lose any time, Lorelai." Luke cradled her head towards his chest. He went with his fingers through hair, untangling any knots that might be in there.
"We were apart for a bit, if you remember." Lorelai retorted softly, mumbling against his chest.
Luke closed his eyes, fighting hard to not re-live this period of his life. "I try not to."
"It should have been years ago", Lorelai said again, but not as full with regret anymore. It sounded more like a statement, a realisation.
"We are here now. And that's what really matters", Luke said.
After a moment of silence, Lorelai chuckled. She pressed herself away form Luke. "You know, what's really funny is that we waited all this time to get married, but as soon as we decided again we couldn't wait to be married. We waited all these years, but we couldn't wait another day."
"Seems about right." Luke returned her smile.
Over Lorelai's face flashed another wave of realisation, which she voiced, "We probably shouldn't tell my Mom about this secret ceremony, she'd freak out that she missed the real one. And not a word to Sookie either. I'm serious, she'll kill me if she ever finds out she was not at my real wedding. She's our biggest fan."
Luke nodded and added another person who should never know about the secret ceremony. "I missed April there."
"I know, babe." Lorelai patted his shoulder as she sighed. Their family was not complete at the wedding. "She'll be here today. Those highly intelligent people at MIT keep her on her toes and she couldn't afford to miss an extra day."
"I know, I know, as long as she's happy." He went through his hair in frustration. "But driving in and out from Boston, all on her own, on one day; that still makes me nervous."
"She'll be OK; she had you to teach her how to drive. She won't be rushing." She looked over his shoulder to get a glimpse of the alarm clock on his nightstand. "And she's getting ready to hit the road soon."
"You should catch some sleep", Luke said eventually. Lorelai nodded and started to settle properly under the covers. She moved closer to him, taking in his smell, which made her relax even more. Luke asked, "You're fine with what we discussed?"
"More than fine, husband of mine."
Luke smiled and leaned over to kiss her good-night. It was nothing but a quick peck on the lips. Nothing a newly wedded couple would normally share, but exhaustion hit them finally. They wanted to go to sleep as quickly as possible. It would only be a short nap. Lorelai mumbled, "I'll need lots and lots of coffee today."
"As long as you don't spill it on your dress, I'm happy to provide some", Luke said as he yawned, sneaking an arm around Lorelai's waist to gather her closer.
Lorelai patted his chest. She closed her eyes and was already half-way to dream-land. "Ah, I just change it to another one if that happens."
Luke thought she was joking, but was surprised to see Lorelai sneak off during the wedding to change dresses just like she had said in the morning. One dress was more beautiful than the other, Luke wouldn't be able to choose his favourite and he was not the only one. Lorelai couldn't decide on one dress to marry and celebrate her marriage to Luke either. Every dress strung another chord and that was why she had to wear them all on her wedding day.
The second the wedding party hit another quiet time and Lorelai didn't change into yet another dress, she took Rory and Luke aside. Luke and Lorelai explained to Rory the plans they had come up in the morning. They defined what kind of support Luke and she were able to offer Rory. They wouldn't let her down. They were set to do whatever it took to overcome this tough time. In the end, the outcome, a healthy grandchild, was worth dealing with the mess right now.
"We'll be there for you. Every single step of the way, Rory", Lorelai assured her. She was glad that Luke placed a hand on the small of her back, giving her the support she needed. He had her back on this.
Rory took the support without a thought of doubt, without hesitation. Her shoulders relaxed the second she realised her mother and Luke would never leave her in the lurch.
Luke found the words, which the always talking Gilmore Girls were not able to find, "then we have to make room for another family-member!"
Lorelai watched as Luke drew Rory into a hug. Rory was indeed a little bit his, and Lorelai was glad that they could officially call each other father and daughter now, well step-father and stepdaughter, but she was sure they would drop the first syllable quite soon.
It was a big moment, a moment in which the family grew closer together, in which the patchwork family became finally a real family. However, the family Lorelai had gathered so carefully was not complete. They missed a family-member, who should definitely be included into this moment. The person had already missed so much with the elopement last night.
Lorelai didn't want the person to miss out on another family-moment. She turned her head and let her eyes wander over the wedding party. She looked for the same colour of dress Rory was wearing. She looked for the dark curly hair, which was so similar to hers. Eventually, she found April sitting on a table, being engaged in some Stars Hollow gossip with Babette and Miss Patty. Lorelai caught April's gaze and smiled at her. April returned the smile and Lorelai motioned with her head to join them. However, April was not good at catching hints. So, Lorelai raised her hand to signal with a wave for April to come over, which she eventually did.
As Rory drew her mother close and they exchanged word of thanks and love, April joined the group. Lorelai withdrew herself form Rory's hug and took another deep breath. This was the beginning of something new, a new era. It had to be done the right way. She took the lead like she had grown to do. "Tell her" Her demand was directed to Rory.
"What? Now?" Rory was surprised by her mother's action. Her eyes widened, she expressed her concern, "Shouldn't I tell Grandma first?"
"You want to face the thunderstorm Emily now?" Lorelai retorted.
"No, not really." Rory mumbled, taking the words in. She hadn't thought of telling people yet. She was mulling it over, but Lorelai pushed her by saying, "so, tell her."
"Guys, what's going on? Is this another joke I don't get?" April was confused by the social actions she was witnessing.
Luke patted her shoulders and said, "Don't worry, sweetie."
"April, today is not only the day you got another mother and a sister, but…" Lorelai introduced the big news and looked expectantly at Rory.
She had no other option than to follow her mother's lead, even if she may feel differently about telling people. She had no time to digest the plans she had made with her mother and Luke. She had to go through with this and told April the news, "You'll be an aunt."
That's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know.
I know you're all here for the drama I announced in the summary, and I promise you we'll get to it in the next chapter. For now, enjoy the happy times - because for now, they ARE the picture perfect family and I couldn't be happier. Gilmore-Danes-Nardini forever!
And one more note, I'll update this story always on Friday, so see you soon. xxx