A/n: I'm very partial to this one. I enjoy stories that leave things up to the readers to decide. So I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it (although a lot of you probably already read it on my website...it's been posted up there for like two months...). Reviews are always appreciated (:
You're unhappy.
I can see it. What a fake smile. What a pretend laugh. It's as obvious as anything.
I look around. No one else seems to know it…they're buying it! Even your own flesh and blood.
Oh the shame you must feel. The disappointment! You know now that when it all comes down to it, no one really knows you. You know that you're only as noticed as the façade you take the time to carefully paint on. And while you probably make yourself think you don't want them to know you're not happy…you secretly wish they would notice. You want them to ask you about it…to bring it up. Just so you can let it spill. You're probably spilling over right now…ready to scream…
And his hands are on your body. He's holding you like you're his. This makes me laugh. He's no more yours than that façade is real. For, how can he belong to you forever? He can't even recognize you.
And I think you know this. That's why you look so sad. Poor beautiful girl. You could have done so much. You could have been so much. You threw it all away for a fairy tale dream. He's not your knight in shinning armor, darling. He's just a paper doll wrapped in tinfoil. I always told you not to chase golden ducks. There is no such thing as a personal knight in shinning armor. Only someone that can make you feel secure and loved. And we had that, didn't we? We did. We had it.
You're looking at me now. I meet your gaze. Your eyes were always so beautiful. But they were your undoing. They were open French doors. They led me straight down to your heart. And I know you're thinking about it now, too. You're wondering.
We could have had it all, honey. We could have made a love that made the whole world jealous. We could have been so happy. You could have been so happy. Not a paper façade, you. It's a strange thing, isn't it baby? To think of really being happy. You're so used to that mask; you don't even know what you look like underneath it. You've got it hammered on so tight you need a chisel to remove it.
You think it helps you. It doesn't. You look so much more beautiful without it. The sight of the mask makes me want to jump over there and knock it off myself. I carry a chisel with my wherever I go, just in case I see you and you decide you want it taken off. I'm the only once that will be able to get it off for you.
But soon I'm going to get rid of the chisel. I can't live my life around you anymore. I can't plan my life around the possibility of seeing you on the street. I can't carry around this heavy heart made up of a chisel for you any longer. You let me go easily. I have to stop trying to protect you. This is your last chance to remove the unhappiness. And you're not going to take it. I can see it in your soul.
He kisses you, and you're tense. You want to like it. You want to love him. You can't force love.
But you can make yourself ignore it.
He's announcing his love to you in front of the world. You are announcing yours, but you're looking at me. Poor man. You're going to stab his heart just like mine. You'll be tied down when you decide to be let free. But by then you'll be stuck, because I'll have given up that tool of trade.
Seeing you like this hurts me badly. It makes my chiseled heart ache. But not because you're with another man, and not with me.
It's because I keep seeing you before. I think about how happy you would have been with me. I think of how beautiful your real face was. I think about how perfect we could have made life for each other. If only you'd seen it! If only you could see the miraculous things I see!
He's taking your hand now. He's leading you away. You don't want to go. I don't want you to either. I want you to stay with me forever. I want to go after you.
But I have to put the lesson I learned from you up to good use.
Pleasing others is more important than pleasing myself.
So I'll let you go with him. I'll let you ruin your life. Because you're happier being unhappy than you are being happy. You don't like to cause a disturbance. This makes people happy, and you like that. People are happier to see you with him. Your family likes him better…your friends like him better…I even like him better then myself.
So, my love, have a beautiful, fake life. You will have beautiful babies, and rock them in beautiful rocking chairs underneath a beautiful roof. You'll make beautiful music, and you'll grow old beautifully and gracefully. You will always be beautiful, and you're life will be beautiful.
But it will never be as beautiful as what is underneath the mask