Yes, I Americanized it a bit. American stores because I don't know any Japanese stores that Sakura and Syaoran would like to go to. Well I doubt Syaoran would like to go to any stores for clothes, but if he was with Sakura I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I don't own CCS, blah, blah, technicalities, don't sue me. Don't like my fic? Constructive criticism is nice. Don't like flamers. They ARE pretty funny, (UR FIC WUZ SO DUM U SHOODINT RITE NE MORE!!!) but still very annoying. If you liked my story leave a good review, maybe some hints or something. I just might use them, but I probably wont care. If you review -- Good for you. If you dont -- Thats nice. You don't even have to. Anyway, on to the fic.
Oh, BTW. Yes I DID use Syaorans real sisters names, which are Feimei, Fanren, Fuutie, and Shiefa.
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Love.
Its like sand, don't you think?
Sometimes it can slip through your fingers. To get that sand back it takes patience and a strong will.
The sand slipped through my fingers and hardened into glass. If I even look in its direction it will shatter into thousands of tiny daggers that start from the heart and make their way out, cutting through the skin.
No. Love isn't anything like sand.
It simply shatters your heart, and leaves you empty inside.
Might as well be dead. No reason to live.
I wished I could die from the moment it became glass. Just a looking window. Kind of an excuse to be places.
Syaoran and I had been going out since we were ten. Well, he was ten. I was eleven.
I had just turned sixteen, and Syaoran was taking me out to the mall as a present. He knew I loved it there, and I knew he knew. I also knew he had mommies credit card, and I wasn't afraid to spend what he had. We sat at the food court, him telling jokes, me giggling at them, both of us holding a melting ice cream cone in one hand.
"Mmm." Syaoran licked his hand and up the cone, noticing the chocolate drip down.
I giggled. "I should have gotten chocolate..." I sighed. He looked up at me.
"I guess. Why aren't you eating yours?" He grabbed a napkin, wrapping it around the cone and holding it that way.
"I don't like this kind..." I had gotten pink bubblegum. I hated that kind. I only got it because it was the prettiest.
"Wh-wha? Why'd you get it then!?"
I smiled. He was so cute when he was confused. "Because I li-"
"Because you liked the color?" He rolled his eyes, finishing my sentence. I loved it when he did that. It made me feel like we were ... connected. He looked up, noticing some girl from school walk into a store. "Lets go there, now. My butts startin' to hurt." I stood up, stretching out, then tossing my ice cream into a garbage can. He did the same, but his was mostly gone. We made our way to the store, my eyes lighting up as I noticed what store it was. Abercrombie & Fitch. Carrying the cutest clothes, and they had pretty low prices. I bet I could make him take me to Old Navy next.
We spent TWO hours in Abercrombie trying things on. I got so many clothes. I bought EVERYTHING I tried on. Well, everything that fit anyway. We spent 3,140 yen. Not too bad for only two hours, eh? I was LOADED down with bags. It took at least ten minutes to fill them up, and though clothes were light, these ones were heavy. Syaoran grabbed all the bags from me, carrying them with what looked like ease. I frowned. Show off. We entered old navy, only spending half an hour there. We spent $500. HE spent $500.
We got to his appartment, where I had been staying for a little over a month. My father had approved of Syaoran, and said I could spend some time alone with him. Touya on the other hand wasn't so fond of my little visit to Syaorans house. He'd come over every day, making sure I wasn't being 'raped' or 'brain washed'. He could be so overprotective sometimes. He had moved down the street at twenty-one, just to make sure he wasn't too far away from me so he could make my life hell even after he had left. He lived in a house with Yuki. They'd claim to be only friends but I could see through that in a second.
Anyway, me and Syaoran talked for a while, then people came over. Everyone got drunk, a male stripper came, and everyone either left or passed out (A.K.A. Chiharu, Naoko, Yamizaki and Akikou). Syaoran took those few people home. Syaoran got back, we made love, and fell asleep at 5:30 in the morning. I woke up at 7:45. At night. I stretched, then walked to the living room. Syaoran sat on the couch, staring grimly into nothing.
"Whats wrong?" He looked up at me.
"Come sit down Sakura." He sighed. I sat.
"What happened?" I leaned my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair.
"My mother called. She doesn't like me spending so much money, even if its on you. She told me we had to take it all back. My spending limit is $300 a day, at the very most.." I frowned.
"No! I wont take it back! I like everything I got, and it was your birthday present to me, wasn't it?"
"W-Well yeah. I knew you'd be kinda mad Sakura," He shook his head. "but we're gonna have to this time. No free pass, like last year."
"No Syaoran. Tell the stupid bitch to lay off, you did something nice for me, she can't make you take it back." Syaoran stood up, causing me to fall over. He glared at me.
"Don't call my mother that, Sakura! People at school I can deal with, even if it is heartless. But not my mother. She's a very respectable-"
"I don't care! She's RUDE! Nobody deserves respect if they're like THAT."
"What do you mean like 'that'? The kind of people that discipline their children? And she isn't the only one thats rude!"
"I'm not even rude to you, Syaoran!"
"You're not rude to me, Sakura, but to everybody else you are. 'Oh your hair isn't pretty enough', 'No, you can't be my friend. You're a little overweight' Sakura..You can be so judgemental. I try to keep what I feel INSIDE, but not when you say stupid things about my mother just because you can't have your precious clothes." He towered over me, and had the look he had given me when we first met on. No, it wasn't the same. This one was much worse.
"Excuse me!? What are you trying to say!?" I stood up too, trying to make myself look as threatening as he did.
"I'm saying that you're a prep, and you don't need to say stuff like that about people just because you're mad."
"I think you're a jerk Syaoran! Why are you being so mean just because I'd like to keep the stuff I bought!? And besides, I am NOT a prep!"
"Sakura! Oh god, you are so frustrating. YES YOU ARE. YOU DONT WANT TO ADMIT IT. YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE WHEN IN REALITY YOU AREN'T! YOU'RE JUST A BITCHY GIRL TRYING TO LOOK COOL WITH NEW STUFF! ITS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS!" He was yelling now. Very loudly.
"I KNOW ITS NOT!" I just yelled right back. "BUT ITS IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT IT FOR ME! AS A PRESENT! BUT I DONT CARE ANYMORE! TAKE YOUR SHIT BACK! YOU DONT DESERVE THE HONOR TO HAVE ME KEEP YOUR CRAPPY STUFF."
"SAKURA! SOMETIMES YOU JUST.." He shoved me roughly back onto the couch. "GOD. I THINK... I think you should leave." My eyes watered. A few tears must have spilled down my face as I shakily stormed out, slamming the door behind me. As it shut I broke down. I couldn't hold them in. We'd only fought like this once before, but he had called the next day an appologized. I ran down the street, hurrying to my real home. I got there twenty minutes later, and instantly ran up to my room, then threw myself on the bed, picking up the phone and calling Tomoyo.
"Don't worry Sakura. I'm sure he'll call tomorrow. But I have to go, my mothers waiting outside."
"Alright..." I said glumly. "Later, Tomoyo." We both hung up. I rolled over, laying my head on a pillow. Why was it that right as it's too late, I'd realize that I did something stupid? I sighed. Of course Syaoran will call. He'll definitely call tomorrow. Something tugged at my mind, telling me he wouldn't, but I ignored it. I rolled over, and tried to fall asleep. It didnt come for many, many hours.
The next day I waited for the call, but nothing came. Or the next day. Or the next day. Or the next day after that for almost two weeks. It was gonna be hell.
On the two week aniversary of our fight, I was going outside to check the mail when I found all the bags full of my clothes on the porch. I brought them all inside, then dialed his appartment. No answer. I went upstairs into my room, digging through my address book until I found it. The number to his house in Hong Kong. I dialed it, waiting for an answer. After about thirteen rings they picked it up.
"Nihao?"
"Is..Is Syaoran there?"
"Uh. Yeah. Hey! Is this Sakura!?" I could hear a few voices in the background. ("Sakuras on the phone!? OOOH LET ME TALK! NO, NO ME!")
"Yeah, it is."
"Oh hey. I bet you're even cuter than the last time I saw you. Get any cute outfit- Hey! Give the phone baaaack! FEIMEI!"
"Oh cool it Shiefa, I'll only talk for a minute. Hi Sakura. So DID you get cute clothes?" Who I guess was Feimei giggled, while Shiefa complained in the background.
"Can I just talk to Syaoran?" Feimie made a noise, and yelled 'Syaoran' at the top of her lungs. After a moment he came to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Err..Hi Syaoran, this is Sakura.. I-"
"I'm busy." He said simply.
"Well I just wanted.."
"Sakura. Lets break up." Click. He hung up. I held the phone for a moment, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. Break up? What for? Just because I wanted the clothes? My eyes watered, and tears began to stream down my face. I threw the reciever down.
It was hard to think about. Here I sat now, in the cold dark bathroom, a knife to my wrist. Should I kill myself? What would happen to the Clow Cards? What would happen to the world? I realized I didn't care. Not after what had happened. Now I knew how Meiling felt. There was only one difference between us. She had the power to go on. I didn't. I dug the knife into wrist, the blood spilling out. Oh god, it hurt. But it was so sweet. I fell, landing hard on my side. I lay there, blood seeping out onto the floor. It felt good to know soon I wouldn't have to be here. This was the only way to reach bliss, for eternity. Have no fears, have no joys. Have no LIFE. Soon I could be some place .... better. Then I realized something. I didn't want to die. Syaoran and I could work around it. But oh...
It was too late.
Oh, BTW. Yes I DID use Syaorans real sisters names, which are Feimei, Fanren, Fuutie, and Shiefa.
-------------------------------
Love.
Its like sand, don't you think?
Sometimes it can slip through your fingers. To get that sand back it takes patience and a strong will.
The sand slipped through my fingers and hardened into glass. If I even look in its direction it will shatter into thousands of tiny daggers that start from the heart and make their way out, cutting through the skin.
No. Love isn't anything like sand.
It simply shatters your heart, and leaves you empty inside.
Might as well be dead. No reason to live.
I wished I could die from the moment it became glass. Just a looking window. Kind of an excuse to be places.
Syaoran and I had been going out since we were ten. Well, he was ten. I was eleven.
I had just turned sixteen, and Syaoran was taking me out to the mall as a present. He knew I loved it there, and I knew he knew. I also knew he had mommies credit card, and I wasn't afraid to spend what he had. We sat at the food court, him telling jokes, me giggling at them, both of us holding a melting ice cream cone in one hand.
"Mmm." Syaoran licked his hand and up the cone, noticing the chocolate drip down.
I giggled. "I should have gotten chocolate..." I sighed. He looked up at me.
"I guess. Why aren't you eating yours?" He grabbed a napkin, wrapping it around the cone and holding it that way.
"I don't like this kind..." I had gotten pink bubblegum. I hated that kind. I only got it because it was the prettiest.
"Wh-wha? Why'd you get it then!?"
I smiled. He was so cute when he was confused. "Because I li-"
"Because you liked the color?" He rolled his eyes, finishing my sentence. I loved it when he did that. It made me feel like we were ... connected. He looked up, noticing some girl from school walk into a store. "Lets go there, now. My butts startin' to hurt." I stood up, stretching out, then tossing my ice cream into a garbage can. He did the same, but his was mostly gone. We made our way to the store, my eyes lighting up as I noticed what store it was. Abercrombie & Fitch. Carrying the cutest clothes, and they had pretty low prices. I bet I could make him take me to Old Navy next.
We spent TWO hours in Abercrombie trying things on. I got so many clothes. I bought EVERYTHING I tried on. Well, everything that fit anyway. We spent 3,140 yen. Not too bad for only two hours, eh? I was LOADED down with bags. It took at least ten minutes to fill them up, and though clothes were light, these ones were heavy. Syaoran grabbed all the bags from me, carrying them with what looked like ease. I frowned. Show off. We entered old navy, only spending half an hour there. We spent $500. HE spent $500.
We got to his appartment, where I had been staying for a little over a month. My father had approved of Syaoran, and said I could spend some time alone with him. Touya on the other hand wasn't so fond of my little visit to Syaorans house. He'd come over every day, making sure I wasn't being 'raped' or 'brain washed'. He could be so overprotective sometimes. He had moved down the street at twenty-one, just to make sure he wasn't too far away from me so he could make my life hell even after he had left. He lived in a house with Yuki. They'd claim to be only friends but I could see through that in a second.
Anyway, me and Syaoran talked for a while, then people came over. Everyone got drunk, a male stripper came, and everyone either left or passed out (A.K.A. Chiharu, Naoko, Yamizaki and Akikou). Syaoran took those few people home. Syaoran got back, we made love, and fell asleep at 5:30 in the morning. I woke up at 7:45. At night. I stretched, then walked to the living room. Syaoran sat on the couch, staring grimly into nothing.
"Whats wrong?" He looked up at me.
"Come sit down Sakura." He sighed. I sat.
"What happened?" I leaned my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair.
"My mother called. She doesn't like me spending so much money, even if its on you. She told me we had to take it all back. My spending limit is $300 a day, at the very most.." I frowned.
"No! I wont take it back! I like everything I got, and it was your birthday present to me, wasn't it?"
"W-Well yeah. I knew you'd be kinda mad Sakura," He shook his head. "but we're gonna have to this time. No free pass, like last year."
"No Syaoran. Tell the stupid bitch to lay off, you did something nice for me, she can't make you take it back." Syaoran stood up, causing me to fall over. He glared at me.
"Don't call my mother that, Sakura! People at school I can deal with, even if it is heartless. But not my mother. She's a very respectable-"
"I don't care! She's RUDE! Nobody deserves respect if they're like THAT."
"What do you mean like 'that'? The kind of people that discipline their children? And she isn't the only one thats rude!"
"I'm not even rude to you, Syaoran!"
"You're not rude to me, Sakura, but to everybody else you are. 'Oh your hair isn't pretty enough', 'No, you can't be my friend. You're a little overweight' Sakura..You can be so judgemental. I try to keep what I feel INSIDE, but not when you say stupid things about my mother just because you can't have your precious clothes." He towered over me, and had the look he had given me when we first met on. No, it wasn't the same. This one was much worse.
"Excuse me!? What are you trying to say!?" I stood up too, trying to make myself look as threatening as he did.
"I'm saying that you're a prep, and you don't need to say stuff like that about people just because you're mad."
"I think you're a jerk Syaoran! Why are you being so mean just because I'd like to keep the stuff I bought!? And besides, I am NOT a prep!"
"Sakura! Oh god, you are so frustrating. YES YOU ARE. YOU DONT WANT TO ADMIT IT. YOU ACT LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE WHEN IN REALITY YOU AREN'T! YOU'RE JUST A BITCHY GIRL TRYING TO LOOK COOL WITH NEW STUFF! ITS NOT ALL THAT MATTERS!" He was yelling now. Very loudly.
"I KNOW ITS NOT!" I just yelled right back. "BUT ITS IMPORTANT TO ME BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT IT FOR ME! AS A PRESENT! BUT I DONT CARE ANYMORE! TAKE YOUR SHIT BACK! YOU DONT DESERVE THE HONOR TO HAVE ME KEEP YOUR CRAPPY STUFF."
"SAKURA! SOMETIMES YOU JUST.." He shoved me roughly back onto the couch. "GOD. I THINK... I think you should leave." My eyes watered. A few tears must have spilled down my face as I shakily stormed out, slamming the door behind me. As it shut I broke down. I couldn't hold them in. We'd only fought like this once before, but he had called the next day an appologized. I ran down the street, hurrying to my real home. I got there twenty minutes later, and instantly ran up to my room, then threw myself on the bed, picking up the phone and calling Tomoyo.
"Don't worry Sakura. I'm sure he'll call tomorrow. But I have to go, my mothers waiting outside."
"Alright..." I said glumly. "Later, Tomoyo." We both hung up. I rolled over, laying my head on a pillow. Why was it that right as it's too late, I'd realize that I did something stupid? I sighed. Of course Syaoran will call. He'll definitely call tomorrow. Something tugged at my mind, telling me he wouldn't, but I ignored it. I rolled over, and tried to fall asleep. It didnt come for many, many hours.
The next day I waited for the call, but nothing came. Or the next day. Or the next day. Or the next day after that for almost two weeks. It was gonna be hell.
On the two week aniversary of our fight, I was going outside to check the mail when I found all the bags full of my clothes on the porch. I brought them all inside, then dialed his appartment. No answer. I went upstairs into my room, digging through my address book until I found it. The number to his house in Hong Kong. I dialed it, waiting for an answer. After about thirteen rings they picked it up.
"Nihao?"
"Is..Is Syaoran there?"
"Uh. Yeah. Hey! Is this Sakura!?" I could hear a few voices in the background. ("Sakuras on the phone!? OOOH LET ME TALK! NO, NO ME!")
"Yeah, it is."
"Oh hey. I bet you're even cuter than the last time I saw you. Get any cute outfit- Hey! Give the phone baaaack! FEIMEI!"
"Oh cool it Shiefa, I'll only talk for a minute. Hi Sakura. So DID you get cute clothes?" Who I guess was Feimei giggled, while Shiefa complained in the background.
"Can I just talk to Syaoran?" Feimie made a noise, and yelled 'Syaoran' at the top of her lungs. After a moment he came to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Err..Hi Syaoran, this is Sakura.. I-"
"I'm busy." He said simply.
"Well I just wanted.."
"Sakura. Lets break up." Click. He hung up. I held the phone for a moment, not wanting to believe what I had just heard. Break up? What for? Just because I wanted the clothes? My eyes watered, and tears began to stream down my face. I threw the reciever down.
It was hard to think about. Here I sat now, in the cold dark bathroom, a knife to my wrist. Should I kill myself? What would happen to the Clow Cards? What would happen to the world? I realized I didn't care. Not after what had happened. Now I knew how Meiling felt. There was only one difference between us. She had the power to go on. I didn't. I dug the knife into wrist, the blood spilling out. Oh god, it hurt. But it was so sweet. I fell, landing hard on my side. I lay there, blood seeping out onto the floor. It felt good to know soon I wouldn't have to be here. This was the only way to reach bliss, for eternity. Have no fears, have no joys. Have no LIFE. Soon I could be some place .... better. Then I realized something. I didn't want to die. Syaoran and I could work around it. But oh...
It was too late.