AN: Guys this is my very first fic. I've been reading fanfiction for around six years and this is the first time I've attempted posting anything myself. I hope it's something akin to the same quality I enjoy reading. Please leave a review and I'm more than happy to take any criticism you might have! I originally intended writing this as a lemon but I just found I couldn't do it. I really wouldn't know where to begin. This couple is so amazing, they inspired me to write.
Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me.
Free at last.
Even while the thought was leaving her mind a new guilty one entered. It's not as though she hadn't enjoyed her time with the old kindly couple, she really had but she couldn't compare it to the exhilarating feeling of being on the road again. Of being with Nadie. Finally what she truly most desired was being realised. Her and Nadie were going on another journey, one that would only bring them closer. Or so she hoped.
Twice now, two times she had said it. Those words, words that evoked such strong reactions from the characters in her romance novels. 'I love you'. She had meant it of course, with all her heart but still there was a yearning for her love to be acknowledged by the one who the words were intended. She knew Nadie loved her, even without the romance novels a very pink faced Nina had lent her, she still knew the signs of love. She felt it in every caress and kind word her friend uttered but still their relationship hadn't progressed past the tricky gray area that was their platonic friendship. Ellis didn't understand fully the feelings and emotions smouldering inside of her but she knew she wanted Nadie, maybe always had.
A half muttered curse was enough to break Ellis out of her reverie. She glanced over to her companion to see her biting her bottom lip in frustration. Spread in front of her half on her lap, half on the steering wheel, was a large paled map. Ellis noticed Nadie's hands that were still clutching the steering wheel were white around the knuckles and her eyes wide as they darted from the map to the road. From what little Ellis knew about maps, it was clear to her Nadie was reading hers upside down. She spared a moment to contemplate enlightening her partner but instead decided to bask in the rare sight of a flustered Nadie, her hair wiping around her head only adding to the frustration the red head was experiencing.
"Ellis?"
"Yes Nadie."
"Do you know where the hell we're going?"
The hotel was nice in comparison to some of the more rundown places they'd stayed on this leg of their journey. Ellis followed quietly behind Nadie not really knowing what to say, not really wanting to talk until they reached their room. She had been silent as Nadie had negotiated the price with the hotel employee behind the counter. As always Nadie had asked for a twin share, a request which came as a blow of disappointment to Ellis' gut. She only wished bitterly now that she had more courage - to say what exactly, she didn't know. Why was everything so confusing, it wasn't always this way.
Lost in thought she suddenly felt a bump as she collided with Nadie's shoulder. The redhead had stopped in front of their room and was rummaging through her pocket for the key when they had made contact.
Ellis looked up into the face of her friend which held an expression of mild amusement, most likely at the sheepish look on Ellis' face.
"And what do you say?" Nadie questioned good humourly, though unnecessarily.
"Sorry Nadie." was the meek reply.
"That's ok, just be more careful." Nadie said turning as she slot the key in the hole.
Their room was humble with two meagre beds and an en suite bathroom. Ellis was glad to release the heavy duffle bag she had been carrying to the ground with a thud. Nadie on the other hand had stepped into the room, her eyes roaming in inspection.
"Well it ain't pretty but it'll certainly do for us. Which bed do you want?"
Noticing Nadie had already placed her possessions on the bed closest the window, Ellis cleared her throat and pointed to the very one. Nadie nonplussed collected her bag and threw it on the bed closer to the door, only to throw herself unceremoniously onto it a moment later.
"Ah feels good after all that driving!" Nadie moaned, continuing on with her elaborate display of comfort. "I know I don't complain much but that drivers seat really is a pain in the butt after a few hours."
"You complain all the time? You complained this morning during breakfast." Ellis said in her best monotone.
Nadie raise an eyebrow in amusement. Rolling onto her stomach, she proceeded to rifle through her duffle bag looking thoroughly through each pocket.
"Yes!" Nadie yelled in triumph. "Here it is, I knew I had it.
Ellis peered closer at the object in Nadie's hand. It was a small bottle containing what seemed the be a thick pearl coloured liquid. Stepping closer to read the label Ellis let out a low singular moan which only very few close to her could discern as excitement.
"Shampoo, Nadie where did you get it? For me?" Ellis made a move to grab the bottle only to have Nadie pull it back possessively.
"No, Blue Eyes gave it to me, she said to use it when I really needed it, expensive stuff, and trust me I need it now." Nadie said picking up a loose trestle of hair in scrutiny. "I haven't felt like a real girl for a while." Nadie finished sardonically with a smile.
Ellis felt the familiar pang of guilt, Nadie had sacrificed so much for her sake and had made her so happy in return. Suddenly she was over come with such a feeling of tenderness for her friend she felt her eyes go wet with tears.
Moving closer to the bed where Nadie sat, Ellis gently lifted the stray lock from Nadie's fingers while placing her other hand on her friend's shoulder. Leaning closer so their faces were level, Ellis noted the slightly bewildered wide eyed look her friend was exhibiting at their close proximity. Nadie would be even more shocked when Ellis closed the distance between them placing a soft kiss on the red heads cheek. Drawing back slowly, Ellis took a moment to caress the dark red hair between her fingers. Shocked even at her own daring she dragged her eyes away from her own hand and summoned the needed courage to look into Nadie's eyes and without meaning to, the words seem to tumble forth out of her mouth.
"Nadie's hair… Nadie, is beautiful." She ended in an almost whisper.
The silence that permeated the room was deafening but before Nadie could make any reply Ellis spun across the room, deftly grabbing her duffle bag whilst making a bee line for the bathroom.
"I'll shower first, you always take too long." Ellis said in some semblance of her former self. Just before she shut the door, she felt rather than saw Nadie lift her hand to her cheek.
Her shower was brief. Quickly towelling herself dry she made to exit the bathroom. Upon leaving the bathroom she immediately noticed Nadie's position on the bed had not changed and that her expression, which usually resembled that of a mischievous child, now held a vapid, distant look. Stepping further into the room Ellis waited for her presence to rouse Nadie from her inattention. When her subtle attempt was unsuccessful she cleared her throat to speak.
"Nadie, the shower is free now."
As if being pulled from a trance, Nadie looked up into Ellis' childlike face, her eyes wet and glassy.
"Oh sure, thanks." Nadie muttered distractingly as she stood to go about her way securing the items she'd need to prepare for her shower.
Meanwhile, Ellis stood still and silent, wondering for the umpteenth time that day if tonight was the night things would progress further than friendship for the two of them. As Ellis heard the bathroom door lock, her mind went reeling on it's regular path of reasonings and warnings. Yes, they were friends, partners and something more. It was the "something more" which always gave Ellis the most concern - Nadie too it seemed. Every time the two of them became closer, be it in the car, a hotel or Amigo Taco joint Ellis would get the distinct feeling something exciting was about to happen. This happened most when they sometimes held each other briefly or even a look at times was enough. Unsure of what this excitement meant, she would attempt to get closer, to feel more, only to be kindly rejected without really knowing how.
Ellis sighed. Always with this sad yearning. She was determined to do something about it. Not having any experience in the matter, she knew not what. Nadie had always been the brave, more assertive one. What Ellis didn't understand was if Nadie wanted her, which Ellis felt certain she did, why Nadie wouldn't just take her.
Dropping onto her bed she pressed both palms against her eyes, pushing the thoughts away, feeling the over sized men's shirt she wore to bed ride up her thighs. She didn't fully understand her desires but she wanted Nadie to be hers. Something was changing. At first she used to just imagine them kissing or simply holding each other. Sweet intimacy like in her romance novels. But recently her imagination had become more demanding. Images of the two of them together seared through her mind, their bodies pressed close, their breath mingled, hands roaming free. Such thoughts caused Ellis to clench her knees together tightly as she tried to ignore the incessant tugging near her navel. No, this would not do. Whatever Nadie's hesitation may be, it would need to be resolved tonight.
By the time Nadie had finished her shower Ellis had made the room dark. Light streaming through the dirty curtains gave a distinct impression of the seediness these rooms were known for. Nadie quietly padded her way across the room, unsure if Ellis was already asleep. Making her way to her designated bed, she stopped short upon realising the blonde already under the covers with her eyes closed shut. Smiling to herself Nadie moved closer, kneeling down near her friends head.
"So you wanted the bed by the door did you?" She was close. "I tried to trick you. Don't you know if any baddies come you'll be the first one they shoot?" Nadie whispered with a smile in her voice.
"They would come through the window and anyway, you would protect me." Ellis said opening her eyes. She could smell the sweet aroma of Nadie's shampoo coupled with the unique, warm smell of Nadie's skin. The light from the window was now, to Ellis' facsination, illuminating small droplets of water as they made their way down from Nadie's hair to make glisten her arms and neck.
"Of course I would," Nadie said with bravado. "but you stay here, it's not a problem I'll take the one over there." Nadie gestured to the bed on the other side of the room. Standing slowly she turned to leave only to be apprehended by Ellis' small hand tugging at her wrist.
"Stay with me Nadie, don't go." Ellis' pleading voice reverberated across the room.
Ellis' pulled harder on Nadie's wrist forcing the taller girl to take a clumsy step forword. She searched Nadie's face but found she could not distinguish much in darkness of the room. When Nadie gave no further indication she intended to make any move Ellis spoke again.
"Nadie, please..." Her voice was so earnest, how could anyone ignore such an impassioned plea.
"Move over then." Nadie said briskly but not unkindly.
With that Ellis pulled back her flimsy covers and moved closer to her edge of the bed to allow room for Nadie to slide in. Once lying down, Ellis brought her hand still holding the edge of the blanket around them both and on impulse left her arm where it was resting near Nadie's shoulder. Bringing the rest of her body closer still until they fit snugly together, the thought entered her mind that Nadie would most definitely be able to feel the pounding of her heart. Again she attempted to gauge Nadie's reaction but her face was impassive as it stared up at the ceiling. Steeling one final breath, Ellis for the second time that night felt quite powerless against the words spilling forth from her mouth.
"Nadie?" Ellis ventured.
"Mmm, yes?" Was the reply, it was clear to Ellis Nadie was wide awake.
Raising her free arm from near Nadie's shoulder, she deliberately slid it down Nadie's arm to rest on her hip. Ellis stretched her neck bring their faces closer together.
"Nadie, we belong to each other don't we." It was meant to be a question not a statement but the conviction in her voice spoke the truth.
Ellis felt Nadie's body tense. After a pregnant pause Nadie seemed to compose herself.
"Ellis, you can't really belong to anyone." Nadie shifted her position turning to face Ellis. "Isn't that why we left Nina and Roberto, to be free?" Nadie reached out and started stroking Ellis' hair. "After all you've been through do you really want to belong to anyone?"
"But Nadie," Ellis stared unblinkingly into her eyes, relishing in the feeling of Nadie's hand run through her hair. "if it's you I wouldn't mind." Ellis' heart was pounding in her ribcage. "Nadie we love each other so much, why can't we just be together?"
With these words Ellis' lips travelled what seemed to be a gulf between them to softly close over Nadie's. Time stood still. Ellis pressed harder, waiting for Nadie's lips to respond to her ministrations. It took a moment but Ellis soon felt Nadie's lips answering her own. They broke apart only long enough to gaze at each other with such palpable desire that neither could deny it. Ellis had enough presence of mind to register Nadie's voice breathe her name before their lips crashed together.
Ellis tried to convey as much as she could into the kiss, hoping Nadie would understand what she wanted. Nadie, Nadie, Nadie. It was then that she started to feel light-headed, the combination of Nadie's warm, soft body so close and lack of oxygen was taking its toll. With regret Ellis pulled away from the kiss breathing heavily and instantly searching Nadie's face. She noticed Nadie's eyes trained on her lips, her chest heaving and her lips a little swollen. Nadie pulled Ellis closer.
"Ellis." Nadie whispered, her face only few inches from Ellis' as she moved to hover over the girl. "I do love you, so much. Always."
This kiss was gentler, slower and different. Ellis wrapped her arms around Nadie's back pulling the redhead against her, cupping the older girl's face experimenting with the intoxicating feeling of Nadie's skin beneath her fingers. However, all coherent thought completely stopped for Ellis when she felt Nadie's hand, calloused and a little clumsy, running along the inside of her thigh.
Waking in the morning had to be one of the best feelings Ellis had ever experienced. The memory of the night her and Nadie had spent together was still so vivid and clear in her mind. She hugged the pillow to her side and sighed dreamily. Almost as a second thought she stole a glance at her friend lying next to her who surprisingly, or maybe unsurprisingly, was wide awake sporting a goofy smile on her face.
"Morning beautiful." The redhead cooed.
Nadie kissed her.
"Be my husband?" Ellis asked with the kind of sincerity only someone like her was capable of.
"Silly, do you even have to ask?"
Fin.