My Saving Grace
By: NormanReedus
Homecoming
Tacoma, Washington, was next on my list, I had to go back home; I had to see my brother and family. I had to make sure everyone was whole. From Lodi, California I made it this far and I wasn't turning back. I wasn't going back to being beaten every day, being held hostage either. I was in luck when I got out. I killed a man, five actually, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it.
Welcome to Tacoma, Washington— We hope you enjoy your stay! I smiled as I was finally home. I pulled into the SAMTAC bar and clubhouse, seeing a couple of bikes in the front. I got out my car, putting my gun into my waistband. I walked in the bar and saw my brother, who I haven't seen in over two years.
"Hap." I whispered, hobbling over to him. He looked at me and got up, rushing to me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to him, "Oh god, Hap."
"Fuck Camilla." He said, his raspy voice sounding like music to my ears, "I've looked and looked for you. Where were you?"
I pulled away and winced, my whole body hurt. "I was kidnapped. I dealt with the problem though. I need to get some tests done and all that shit." I said, walking towards the bar.
"Wait, kidnapped?" He asked, "By who?"
"Calaveras. The guy's name is Hector Salazar. I killed six of his men when he left with his girlfriend." I said, looking up at him. His faced softened, he trailed his thumb over my split cheek. I hissed and grabbed his hand, "I learned a lot of shit while I was there."
"Like what?" He asked, sitting me at the bar. Lorca put a beer in front of me and kissed my head.
"I'm happy you got out, babe. We've missed our Lady Killa." He said, with a smile. I nodded and grinned.
"Thanks Lorc, means a lot. I've missed yal, too." I said, hugging him lightly. I looked at Happy and took my shirt off, showing him, Lorca, Bowie and Donut my bruises, cuts and scars. Happy's face hardened looking at him, his jaw clenched together. "They beat me and raped me every day, sometimes more than once."
"What the fuck?" Donut said, gaping and sitting in his seat. I saw a tear slip out of Happy's eyes, I reached up and wiped them away. He took my hands in his, kissing my palms.
"I will never let anything else happen to you again." He said, looking at me. I nodded and felt tears burn my eyes, "Camilla, I promise you."
"I know, I believe you Hap." I replied, looking up at him. He kissed my forehead and nodded, "Where is Koz at?" I asked, looking around.
"He's getting out of rehab tomorrow." Bowie spoke up. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked between the four guys.
"Why is he in rehab?" I asked, feeling my heart race.
"After you vanished, he got bad off into drugs. He couldn't take you not being with him. It scared him that you were never coming back." Happy explained, rubbing my arms. I took a minute to let everything seep in, my eyes widened, I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"He's in rehab because of me?" I asked, lip quivering. The four shook their heads, disagreeing with my question.
"No, no, no." Lorca said, "No sweetheart, he was hurting. He wanted to kill himself because of what happened."
"Can I go tomorrow with yal?" I asked, looking at them. They nodded and pulled me into a group hug. I sighed, feeling lucky enough that I was here with my family. The door burst open of the bar, making us pull away. It was the SAMCRO guys.
"Camilla?" Juice asked, I nodded and hobbled over to him, hugging him. The guys surrounded me, bringing me in a hug.
"Our princess is back!" Jax exclaimed, "Where have you been?"
"Calaveras kidnapped me. I've been holed up for two years." I replied, looking at them, "Killed five of Salazar's men. Left when he and his girl went out."
"Holy shit." I heard Clay say, he leaned over and kissed my head, hugging me lightly, "You took down five guys alone?"
I nodded, "I got tired of being raped and beaten every day. It was rare that Salazar left me alone with them. He's in with the Mayan's. Marcus Alvarez has been over there to the place where I was held at. They talked about more than just gun shipments. They're wanting in prostitution and drugs."
"What the fuck?" Chibs' thick Scottish accent sounded through my ears. I nodded and looked over at him, smiling sadly.
"Yeah, they are doing a deal of sorts. Calaveras are going under pretty much and Salazar is wanting patch-over to the Mayans. Alvarez doesn't think that's a good idea; he's just playing along with Salazar." I explained, looking at them.
"How are you so calm about all this, doll?" Tig asked, looking at me. I shrugged and bit my lip.
"I'll break down later. Right now, I'm back on my A-game. I hurt, I'm sore and I need to clean the cuts I have." I said, "I want to drink the night away and not wake up until tomorrow morning." No one said anything, they just nodded; "Am I still in the Sons?"
"Of course. You'll always be in the Sons, sweetheart." Clay said, as everyone agreed. I smiled and nodded, taking a swig of my beer.
"Remind me before I get too obliterated to get my bags out of the car. I need to drive to get rid of it as well." I said, absentmindedly to no one.
"Do you know if Salazar knew you were a Son?" Jax asked. I shrugged and looked at him.
"I didn't have my kutte on that day. I remember going shopping at the bridal store in LA with Jill," I paused, "By the way, where is she?" I looked at Lorca. His eyes fell, his face softening.
"She died." He said, looking at me.
"What? How?" I asked, walking to him.
"After you were taken, she called me. She was panicking, she didn't know what to do. She said she was laughing with you and the next thing, you were on the ground in blood. The ambulance came by and these Mexicans got out, getting you. She didn't think anything of it—she was on the way to the hospital, she had a tail." He paused, breathing heavily, "She told me she had one and I told her to detour. She did, but the tail followed her the whole way. She was on the phone with me as she died."
Tears fell down my eyes, I sniffed and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I cried in his chest—I thought she was okay. She was supposed to be my bridesmaid—she was supposed to be my daughters godmother, "Lorc, I'm so sorry."
"She's in a better place, sweetheart. It's not your fault, but if I find him, I will kill him." He said, looking at me. I nodded and wiped my eyes, leaning up to him and kissing his cheek, "If you didn't already."
"If I didn't, then you and I will kill him slowly and painfully." I winked at him. He smiled and nodded, the guys surrounded us hollered and clapped.
"Lady Killa is back!" Bobby yelled, patting my back. I looked at Happy, who was sitting at the bar, staring ahead in deep thinking. I walked over to him, turning him in his seat. I scooted between his legs and laid my head on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his waist. He hesitated, but put his arms around me, pulling me into him.
"I love you Cam." He whispered, I nodded and kissing his neck.
"I love you Hap." I replied, "I'm happy I'm here."
"Me too, baby girl. Me, too. I know one woman who will be happy to see you." He murmured in my hair.
"How is she?" I asked, pulling my head from his shoulder, looking at him.
"She's alright. Just misses you the most." He said, his black eyes matching mine.
"I miss her, too. Maybe Sunday you and I can take a ride to see her." I said, "I miss him, too."
"I know you do, Cam. I tried to help him, I did. He never cheated on you, he never done the whole 'What happens on a run, stays on a run', he drank the whole time. He became the biggest asshole." He said, chuckling.
"That's my man." I said, giggling, "Been around you too long." I winked at him. He smiled and nodded, "But that's okay. You two are mine, and I wouldn't trade you two for anything in the world."
"Good, because no matter what, you are stuck with me. And I know he wouldn't ever leave you, so yeah, you're stuck with him, too." Happy replied, nodding. I smiled and kissed his cheek, "I'm happy you're home."
"Me too, bubba." I replied, hugging him once more. I walked to the back of the bar to the dorms of Kozik and I's room. I opened the door and smelled his cologne. I smiled and walked to the bathroom, seeing his razors on the counter of the sink, along with needles. Tears welled into my eyes, seeing small drops of blood on the counter top. I leaned down and turned the water on, letting the tub fill up.
I shunned my clothes, stepping into the warm almost hot water. I added coconut and peach bubble bath and slid down into the water, letting it consume around me. The tears never subsided though—the room looked just like I left it those two years ago, but the bathroom? The bathroom looked fairly used. The needles, his razor… the blood; it was all because I was kidnapped. No matter what the others say, this was my fault. I sat up and cried out loudly, sobbing for my Old Man.
"Cam?" I heard a knock on the door, "Cam, baby girl, are you okay?" It was Happy.
"Cami? Sweetheart, are you alright?" That was Juice. The door opened, I looked up at them and bit my lip—not able to quit crying.
"It's all my fault." I said, pointing to the sink, "Every last bit of it is."
"No, Cami, no." Juice started, kneeling down by my legs, "It's not your fault, sweetheart."
"Then why? Why would he do this to himself? There is needles and blood on the counter top. Me being gone, done this to him." I said, looking up to them with blurry eyes. Happy reached over and wiped my tears away.
"It's not your fault, baby." Happy said, looking at me, "He couldn't take it. He didn't know where you were, he was scared."
"He took it extremely hard, sweetheart. He was terrified; we couldn't find you. You know how good I am on computers, but I couldn't find you. I tried to ping your cell, but I'm guessing it was destroyed. He didn't give up hope, but he thought it was easing the hurt." Juice explained, I bit my lip, til I tasted the metallic taste of blood.
"I hurt him though. We got in an argument on the way down to LA—I hung up on him. He probably thought that I left him, left him. Like I didn't love him anymore. I love him with all my heart, you two know that." I said, looking at them. Their faces softened, eyes became sad.
"He knows that, too, Cam. He knows you love him, because he loves you more than anything in this world. He was hurting baby." Happy said, I nodded.
"I just want him with me. I want us to never argue again, I don't want to be away from him anymore." I said, looking at them. They nodded and smiled weakly.
"You two will go on the same run—Lee and Clay have already said that." Juice replied, making me nod. I sniffed, wiping my eyes, "I'll take care of the needles and blood, okay?"
"Alright. Thank you Juicy. Thank you Hap." I said, looking at them. The nodded and smiled.
"Anything for my baby girl." Happy said, leaning over and kissing my head.
"Anything for my best friend." Juice winked and smiled. I smiled and looked at them.
"I love you both, so, so much." I said as they got up.
"I love you, Cami." Juice replied, cleaning the needles and blood up, putting the dirty towels and needles in the bag. He walked out the bathroom, leaving Happy standing against the wall.
"I love you Camilla. You are my baby girl, my sister, no matter what." He said, leaning down once more and kissing my head. I bit my lip, watching him walk out the bathroom. I sighed and slipped back down into the tub, letting the warmth soak into my aching body.
"I love you Koz, I love you so much." I whispered, closing my eyes, hoping that he was still thinking about me. I couldn't wait to see him tomorrow—two years without him and my brother, my family, my brothers, have been the worst ever.
I grabbed the loofa and my peach orchid body-wash, and washed my body. I shaved the needed areas and stood up and turning the shower head on. I stood under the head, rinsing my body. I grabbed Koz's shampoo and washed my hair. After I washed and rinsed myself, I got out and wrapped a towel around my body.
I walked into the bedroom and straight to the closet. I grabbed Kozik's SAMCRO t-shirt and slipped it over my head, letting it pool around my thighs. I slipped a pair of panties on, then a pair of black shorts. I wrapped my hair up in the towel and walked out of the room, down the hall, and to the bar.
"We're getting Kozik tomorrow at 9AM, Cam if you want to ride his bike, you can. If you can't handle it, it's alright." Lee said at the bar. I nodded and walked over to Happy, who was sitting at a table. I sat on his leg, and curled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. I sighed, feeling whole, but lost at the same time—I just hope that no one hated me.
"You okay?" Happy asked, I bit my lip and nodded.
"Yeah." I said, "Just thinking, that's all."
He nodded, and sighed, rubbing my back, "Before you go to bed, we need to get you bandaged up."
"Okay." I said, kissing his cheek. I bit my lip and dozed off into a light sleep. I felt Happy lay his cheek against my head, rocking us slightly.
"We gonna throw a party tomorrow for both of them?" I heard Bobby asked, and felt Happy nod against me, "They deserve it. Finally after two years, they are together again. I am so happy she's back. She's one of the strongest women I know."
"Yeah, she is. She's been through a lot. Monday I'm gonna have her go to doctor—what she told me earlier really put a lot of shit in perspective. If I find Salazar on the street, he's as good as dead." Happy's raspy voice boomed.
"Trust me, I understand completely. Man, I remember when your Uncle China used to ride you and him around on the bikes when you were kids. That little girl was in love with her big brother, she still is now." Bobby said, "You don't find family that is like that. If it come down to life or death between you and her—she'd let you live."
"I know, and I would do the same with her. If she picked me to live, I'd kick her fucking ass. She does more than anyone of the entire club. Yeah, she may have been kidnapped for two years, but she knows more than anyone about the inside work." Happy said, kissing my head.
"She's always been a smart girl, catches onto stuff way too quickly. She's a true Son, one of the most loyal ones that I've ever seen in my life." Bobby replied, leaning down and kissing my head. I stirred and sat up, kissing Happy on his cheek, then Bobby. I got up and hugged Juice then kissed his cheek, moving to Chibs, then Tig, then Clay, Jax and Opie. I moved to my guys, doing the same as I did with the others.
I told them goodnight, then walked through the bar back to the dorms. I walked into our room, to the bathroom and started cleaning the cuts on my stomach. After cleaning and bandaging them, I grabbed his kutte from the chair and smiled, running my hands over his patches. I laid in the middle of the bed, facing his side, breathing in his scent. I put his kutte on his pillow and wrapped my arm around it as if it was him there. Finally, after getting comfortable, I kissed his kutte and fell into a light sleep.