*Author's Note* Gummies are yummy in my tummy. A quote to live by.
Hope you find this funny. This is kinda more of an experimental fic than something that's real yummy and good, but hey, stuff happens and then you die. REVIEW!
*Disclaimer* I don't own anything, though I do own these eighty-two Spanish verbs sitting on my desk that I have to memorize by tomorrow.
The best way to describe Quina is that he/she is hard to describe. Quina isn't really comparable to anything we are used to. Teeny, beady, black eyes, enormous tongue, largely unproportional shaped body, rosy, white skin. Nope. Incomparable.
However, there is one trait which can be used to describe Quina.
Appetite.
Everyone has an appetite. We all get hungry sooner or later. Quina is unique in that she/he has an extraordinary appetite.
For example: Take the time where you didn't eat breakfast, went to school, forgot your lunch money, went to soccer practice, came home and was forced to do your homework without a snack. Then, you collapsed on your bed and fell asleep. You woke up and found out you missed dinner and your parents wouldn't give you anything because you "purposefully avoided family time." Yeah, that appetite. The hunger that turns your stomach into a constant rumbling cheap hotel washing-machine.
Okay, now multiply that hunger by ten. That's Quina. All the time.
Quina's uniquely distinct appetite can be illustrated in three phases:
Phase 1 - gathering of food. Phase 2 - eating of food. Phase 3 - thoughts of food (which in her/his case is all the time).
I would say the "Bag of Gummies Incident" is good way to find out just how much this eating pattern can be used to describe this exclusive creature.
Quina *gasp!* and the Bag of Gummies
Phase 1 - gathering of food.
Quina waddled down the cobblestone path of Alexandria. Her/His blubber created a mesmerizing patterns of waves that caused old folks to turn away and mothers to cover up their young children's eyes. The only person who did not seem effected by this walking glob of Crisco was a man with a tail who walked a few paces behind Quina. The monkey-man was Zidane. Quina's host.
Host you say? Well, you see Quina can be considered a parasite that will follow a host to provide him/her with the basic necessities. That way, Quina can concentrate on fulfilling her/his never-ending hunger. The unfortunate host is stuck with the lard-ball forever. Even if Quina is thrown out a 10-story window or dropped in the middle of the ocean attached to an anvil, the parasite will return. She/He always does.
Quina shuffled over to a store-front and planted her/his face on the window. "Ohhh. look Zidane, yummy yummies!"
"Ye gods," mumbled Zidane. "Don't you think about anything else besides food?"
"No, why? What wrong about thinking about yummy yummies? Yummy yummies good!" answered Quina.
"Well it's just that." before Zidane could finish, Quina lugged her/his body-mass into the store. "Geez, what a weirdo." muttered Zidane as he followed Quina inside.
You may be wondering why Zidane just doesn't take this chance to run far far away from the gurgling mass. The truth of the matter is that he has before and has also ended up paying for the large amount of food stuff Quina has consumed. Zidane now follows her/him into any area with large amounts of food to stop it from eating away his wallet. Zidane learns from his mistakes.
"Oh, so many yummies! Quina can't decide what to have!" she/he said while looking around at the various treats displayed on the store's shelves. There were baskets of jellybeans, barrels of licorice, bins of chocolate, and bunches of kupo nuts.
"Whoa," exclaimed Zidane as he was hit with an onslaught of candy-covered smells. He looked around the store and noticed the clerk was staring wide- eyed at Quina. Zidane and walked up to the man, who looked like he was about to go into cardiac arrest, and said, "Hey pops, don't worry about my friend, there. He. er. she. er. IT will just pick out what it wants and we'll be on our merry way. Kay?"
"Uh.umm.It. *gulp*" replied the clerk.
"Good, I'm glad we have an understanding," Zidane said as he rolled his eyes and turned to face Quina. "So did you pick out what you what yet?"
"No"
"Good grief. We might be here a while." said Zidane as he had a seat on a barrel of truffles.
Twenty three minutes later.
"Zidane, Zidane, lookie, I picked what I want! Zidane!"
"Uhh. Dagger, just a little."
"Zidane wake UP!" yelled Quina.
"Huh!" said Zidane as he fell off the barrel and crashed on to the floor. "What's going on?!"
"I picked out what I want!"
"Huh. Whoa! All that!" exclaimed Zidane. Quina had so many packages of various treats you could barely see its eyes.
"Uhuh, I couldn't pick out one, so I pick all."
"Christ! Oh well, at least we won't have to go shopping for a while."
Zidane walked over to the clerk, who still had his eyes in bug-out mode and took out his wallet when suddenly Quina dropped all of the packages.
"Geez it Quina, you're such an. whoa."
Quina had the same expression on its face as that of the clerk. It was staring at a few packages behind the counter.
"Gummy." whispered Quina, in quite an eerie way. "Me. NEED gummy."
"Eek, scary. All right Quina, we'll get you those there gummies," replied Zidane. "Hey pops, how 'bout a package?"
The clerk bent down, still bug-eyed, picked a colorful gummy bag off the bottom shelf and handed it to Zidane.
"5 gil please," said the clerk, monotonously.
"Here you go," said Zidane as he handed over the money.
"Thank you, have a nice day."
"You too, pops. Here Quina." Zidane said as he tossed the bag of gummies over to it.
"W, whoa" stuttered Quina. It grasped the bag as if it were a new born baby. "G, gummy."
Zidane and Quina went outside the store and into the streets of Alexandria.
"Well Quina it looks like yer set for the day," said Zidane, eyeing some women looking at dresses at a nearby store, "and I'm set with mine, heh heh. Hey ladies!!" Zidane went off to flirt with some of the town's girls, in hopes of the obligatory panty shot. Zidane had a thing for women. Most men with tails do.
"Hmm, what Quina to do now. Oh yeah! I must eat the Gummies! Ohh, Gummies."
*Author's Note* Stay tuned for Phase, er, chapter 2 soon!
Hehe, Ok well that really wasn't that funny but hey, it was the first chapter of my first fic EVER! Feel privileged people! You're witnessing history as it happens, heh. Hmm what will make ME feel privileged is if YOU review! Remember the time you wrote your first fic and felt SO happy when somebody reviewed? Spread the joy, people! REVIEW!!!
Hope you find this funny. This is kinda more of an experimental fic than something that's real yummy and good, but hey, stuff happens and then you die. REVIEW!
*Disclaimer* I don't own anything, though I do own these eighty-two Spanish verbs sitting on my desk that I have to memorize by tomorrow.
The best way to describe Quina is that he/she is hard to describe. Quina isn't really comparable to anything we are used to. Teeny, beady, black eyes, enormous tongue, largely unproportional shaped body, rosy, white skin. Nope. Incomparable.
However, there is one trait which can be used to describe Quina.
Appetite.
Everyone has an appetite. We all get hungry sooner or later. Quina is unique in that she/he has an extraordinary appetite.
For example: Take the time where you didn't eat breakfast, went to school, forgot your lunch money, went to soccer practice, came home and was forced to do your homework without a snack. Then, you collapsed on your bed and fell asleep. You woke up and found out you missed dinner and your parents wouldn't give you anything because you "purposefully avoided family time." Yeah, that appetite. The hunger that turns your stomach into a constant rumbling cheap hotel washing-machine.
Okay, now multiply that hunger by ten. That's Quina. All the time.
Quina's uniquely distinct appetite can be illustrated in three phases:
Phase 1 - gathering of food. Phase 2 - eating of food. Phase 3 - thoughts of food (which in her/his case is all the time).
I would say the "Bag of Gummies Incident" is good way to find out just how much this eating pattern can be used to describe this exclusive creature.
Quina *gasp!* and the Bag of Gummies
Phase 1 - gathering of food.
Quina waddled down the cobblestone path of Alexandria. Her/His blubber created a mesmerizing patterns of waves that caused old folks to turn away and mothers to cover up their young children's eyes. The only person who did not seem effected by this walking glob of Crisco was a man with a tail who walked a few paces behind Quina. The monkey-man was Zidane. Quina's host.
Host you say? Well, you see Quina can be considered a parasite that will follow a host to provide him/her with the basic necessities. That way, Quina can concentrate on fulfilling her/his never-ending hunger. The unfortunate host is stuck with the lard-ball forever. Even if Quina is thrown out a 10-story window or dropped in the middle of the ocean attached to an anvil, the parasite will return. She/He always does.
Quina shuffled over to a store-front and planted her/his face on the window. "Ohhh. look Zidane, yummy yummies!"
"Ye gods," mumbled Zidane. "Don't you think about anything else besides food?"
"No, why? What wrong about thinking about yummy yummies? Yummy yummies good!" answered Quina.
"Well it's just that." before Zidane could finish, Quina lugged her/his body-mass into the store. "Geez, what a weirdo." muttered Zidane as he followed Quina inside.
You may be wondering why Zidane just doesn't take this chance to run far far away from the gurgling mass. The truth of the matter is that he has before and has also ended up paying for the large amount of food stuff Quina has consumed. Zidane now follows her/him into any area with large amounts of food to stop it from eating away his wallet. Zidane learns from his mistakes.
"Oh, so many yummies! Quina can't decide what to have!" she/he said while looking around at the various treats displayed on the store's shelves. There were baskets of jellybeans, barrels of licorice, bins of chocolate, and bunches of kupo nuts.
"Whoa," exclaimed Zidane as he was hit with an onslaught of candy-covered smells. He looked around the store and noticed the clerk was staring wide- eyed at Quina. Zidane and walked up to the man, who looked like he was about to go into cardiac arrest, and said, "Hey pops, don't worry about my friend, there. He. er. she. er. IT will just pick out what it wants and we'll be on our merry way. Kay?"
"Uh.umm.It. *gulp*" replied the clerk.
"Good, I'm glad we have an understanding," Zidane said as he rolled his eyes and turned to face Quina. "So did you pick out what you what yet?"
"No"
"Good grief. We might be here a while." said Zidane as he had a seat on a barrel of truffles.
Twenty three minutes later.
"Zidane, Zidane, lookie, I picked what I want! Zidane!"
"Uhh. Dagger, just a little."
"Zidane wake UP!" yelled Quina.
"Huh!" said Zidane as he fell off the barrel and crashed on to the floor. "What's going on?!"
"I picked out what I want!"
"Huh. Whoa! All that!" exclaimed Zidane. Quina had so many packages of various treats you could barely see its eyes.
"Uhuh, I couldn't pick out one, so I pick all."
"Christ! Oh well, at least we won't have to go shopping for a while."
Zidane walked over to the clerk, who still had his eyes in bug-out mode and took out his wallet when suddenly Quina dropped all of the packages.
"Geez it Quina, you're such an. whoa."
Quina had the same expression on its face as that of the clerk. It was staring at a few packages behind the counter.
"Gummy." whispered Quina, in quite an eerie way. "Me. NEED gummy."
"Eek, scary. All right Quina, we'll get you those there gummies," replied Zidane. "Hey pops, how 'bout a package?"
The clerk bent down, still bug-eyed, picked a colorful gummy bag off the bottom shelf and handed it to Zidane.
"5 gil please," said the clerk, monotonously.
"Here you go," said Zidane as he handed over the money.
"Thank you, have a nice day."
"You too, pops. Here Quina." Zidane said as he tossed the bag of gummies over to it.
"W, whoa" stuttered Quina. It grasped the bag as if it were a new born baby. "G, gummy."
Zidane and Quina went outside the store and into the streets of Alexandria.
"Well Quina it looks like yer set for the day," said Zidane, eyeing some women looking at dresses at a nearby store, "and I'm set with mine, heh heh. Hey ladies!!" Zidane went off to flirt with some of the town's girls, in hopes of the obligatory panty shot. Zidane had a thing for women. Most men with tails do.
"Hmm, what Quina to do now. Oh yeah! I must eat the Gummies! Ohh, Gummies."
*Author's Note* Stay tuned for Phase, er, chapter 2 soon!
Hehe, Ok well that really wasn't that funny but hey, it was the first chapter of my first fic EVER! Feel privileged people! You're witnessing history as it happens, heh. Hmm what will make ME feel privileged is if YOU review! Remember the time you wrote your first fic and felt SO happy when somebody reviewed? Spread the joy, people! REVIEW!!!