Disclaimer/Warning: I do not own the character Rebecca "Reb" Kean, nor the show Prisoner. I do, however, own Koa. This contains mild femslash, self-infliction (which could be triggering), and some swearing. This is an old and incredibly rough draft after a super long day, so I apologise for how many errors and how lazily written it is.
"Hey, kid."
Koa's heart took off like a greyhound after a rabbit as she glanced up, letting her senses bathe in the sight of her cellmate. Birds took flight in her stomach, flying wildly in the restraints, seeming desperate for an escape as they collided with the walls of the organ. She looked away, trying to be as oblivious to Rebecca Kean as Reb seemed to be when it came to her – at least when it came to the feelings cascading through her bloodstream, it seemed.
"Hey…" Koa murmured, blowing lightly on her fingernails. She had spent the better half of an hour filing them down on the walls of the cell, until they were perfect looking, and then had painted them with a glorious sunrise-pink colour she had borrowed from Pixie. "How was handy-woman classes?"
"Not bad, I suppose." Reb wrinkled her nose as she dug around in the breast pocket of her uniform, withdrawing a batted packet of cigarettes and a lighter. She tapped one from the packet and placed it carefully between her lips, once again oblivious to the way Koa's eyes watched her, stared openly at her mouth. "Did you paint your nails?"
"Pixie's been hounding me to." Koa shrugged. "I have to admit, they do look okay with a bit of looking after…"
"Figures." Reb murmured. "Want one?"
Nodding, Koa watched as Reb crossed to where she sat. Bending down just slightly, Reb handed her the cigarette, waited until Koa had placed it between her lips, and then lit the end. Koa drew back heavily on the stick of tobacco, her eyes meeting Reb's. Reb smiled at her faintly before she turned away, crossing to her bed.
Koa smiled sadly and looked away. "Thanks."
xxx
"I always wanted blonde hair as a kid." Reb murmured, leaning against the bathroom wall, her eyes lifted to the ceiling. "And blue eyes... sure, you lucked out on the blue, but still. No one can say no to you, can they, kid?"
Shampoo rolled down her face as Koa twisted slightly in the shower stall, glancing at Reb. She scrubbed the top of her head, moving her fingers through the long, soapy locks until her fingers slid free of them. She had never really considered what it would be like to have a different hair colour. She'd always been a natural platinum blonde. Just as she had always been snowy-white and skinny. It had never much fussed her, not even with Reb reliving childhood memories only a handful of feet away.
"It's not quite that simple." Koa replied as she soaked her long strands (normally loose ringlets that tumbled to her waist) with conditioner. She had traded with Pixie for it and she had to admit, Pixie certainly knew what she was on about. The stuff was amazing. "My hair colour only made things worse, if you ask me."
"Worse?" Reb laughed faintly. "Doubt it."
Koa ignored her comment and finished in the shower. She reached for the towel she'd carried down with her, proceeding to wipe every bit of moisture from her body until she was dry. Effortlessly, Koa slipped into her inmate uniform and moved to brush her teeth and comb her hair while Reb watched her, seemingly deep in thought, her dark eyes fixed somewhere beyond Koa.
"Yeah, I think I'd have turned out better if I looked more like you, kid." Reb declared finally as Koa spat a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink. "I'd probably be married, you know, living the life and stuff. Or bored half to death."
xxx
Lights out was, possibly, Koa's favourite time of the day. Bundled up in her blankets, her razor held tightly between her fingertips, with Reb's deep breathing to keep her company. The quietness of Wentworth was bliss. It was also the only time her fantasies, however one sided, were allowed to fully slip into play. Fantasies that swirled around Reb, danced into thoughts of heated kisses and lustful touches.
She could almost imagine Reb's lips against her own as she drew the blade across the soft flesh just below the crook of her elbow. She could imagine the way Reb would kiss her, hot and heavy, fighting for dominance even after Koa had submitted. Koa closed her eyes briefly as she trailed the blade over and over the cut she had inflicted, biting her lip to keep the whimper of pain from rolling free.
Over and over again she cut, digging deeper into her pale flesh until the blood had pooled and threatened to roll down the sides of her arm and stain the blankets and pillows, her nightshirt and sheets. Koa groped blindly for the pieces of material she had salvaged from her days in the laundry. She pressed them tightly against her flesh, folded her arm, and settled back against her pillows.
Snaking a hand down, between her legs, Koa felt the full effects of her daydreaming through the thin material of her pants and began to stroke herself, biting down on her lip hard enough to draw blood as moans and gasps threatened to spill free.
Lights out was also the one time of the day that Koa truly wanted to die.
xxx
"What the hell?" Reb's voice thundered in the small confines of the room, dragging Koa from her dreams. "What've you done, kid?"
Koa looked at her sleepily, confusion racing across her features. Reb grabbed her wrist, dragging out her arm until she could see the deep, long cut. Koa followed her dark gaze, her eyes flickering over the self-inflicted wound. The skin was puckered and red, angry looking, and as Reb ghosted her fingers across it, Koa found herself shying away as pain flooded her senses.
"Fucking hell, Koa." Reb turned away, heading towards the mirror above their small sink. She rummaged through it until she found what she was after and returned, perching on the edge of Koa's bed. "Why?"
"It's nothing." Koa pulled back, unable to bring herself to meet Reb's eyes. "Just a scratch."
"Scratch my arse." Reb grumbled in return, dragging the younger girl's arm over her legs. With slow, steady movements, she began to bandage the cut. Koa watched her, her face flushed faintly as Reb moved, showing more tenderness in that moment that Koa had ever before seen. "Do you want to die or something, kid?"
"I…" Koa looked away. "Sometimes."
xxx
"Why'd you do it?"
Koa glanced up from where she sat, her fingers dragging lazily over the bandage on her arm. Reb looked unimpressed as she crossed to stand beneath the barred window, her eyes lifted toward the ceiling. Koa dropped her gaze once more, not even slightly surprised to find her fingers had stilled their movements.
"What's so bad about this place that you'd try to off yourself?" Reb demanded, her eyes alight. "Well, kid? What's the problem?"
"The problem?" Koa met her gaze, climbing slowly to her feet. She tugged down the sleeves of her uniform, combed a hand through her hair and smiled faintly. "You're the problem, Reb."
"What are you talking about, kid?" Confusion ignited across Reb's features.
Koa turned away, heading towards the door. She paused just outside the doorway, squaring her shoulders and sucking a trembling breath into her lungs as she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes meeting Reb's. "Is it really that hard to work out, Reb? I'm in love with you…"
She looked away before she could see Reb's reaction and fled without a backward glance, but not before she could hear Reb's softly spoken words.
"Fuck, kid… fucking hell…"
xxx
"Come on, Myra, give us a game!"
Koa watched Reb from where she sat, her hands curled around the edges of a scrunched up ball of paper, contemplating tossing it toward the bin in the corner of the room. The more she thought about it, the more Koa considered it to be a good idea. She chewed animatedly at her lip as Judy Bryant settled in front of her, obscuring most of her view of the pool table.
"Chin up, Koa." Judy murmured softly, affectionately. "I'm sure nothing is as bad as you think. Do you want to talk about it?"
"I think Reb might change cells…" Koa mumbled, looking at her hands.
"Why would she do that?" Judy asked, baffled.
"Need a light?" Reb cleared her throat, holding out both a cigarette and lighter in Koa's direction. Koa smiled apologetically at Judy as she accepted the cigarette, leaning forward and adverting her eyes, unable to brave meeting Reb's curious gaze. "Can I've a word, kid?"
"I…"
"Later, Reb." Judy waved her away, her eyes flickering between them until Reb nodded and left, heading from the Rec Room after adjusting her collar. "Koa?"
"I told her something." Koa looked up slowly, tears burning behind her eyes. "I'm pretty sure she doesn't like what I said…"
xxx
"What did you mean, kid?" Reb demanded as Murphy left, her eyes dark. It seemed fitting that she had waited until they were locked in their cell, until there was no chance whatsoever that Koa could escape. "Well?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Like hell it doesn't!" Reb snapped, crossing to where Koa sat, perched on the edge of her bed. Koa stared at her feet, at the fluffy pink slippers that were starting to fade and wear down. It wouldn't be long until all of the fluff had dissolved into pink clumps. "People don't just say that stuff."
Koa looked up as Reb's shadow finally fell completely across her as Reb crouched in front of her. She met the older woman's gaze, finding herself frozen under the spell of Reb's dark eyes. She chewed at her lip, heart pounding, as Reb leant even closer, her lips opening as if to say something as the lights overhead snapped off, effortlessly silencing whatever Reb had intended to say.
As her eyes adjusted, Koa realised that Reb was even closer than she had been. It was hard to see exactly how the other woman felt, but there was the shining example of confusion on her face, lurking in her dark eyes that caught a beam from the moon that hovered beyond their barred window. "I love you…"
"Kid…"
Koa lunged forward, unable to control the urges battling inside of her. Her lips crashed down on Reb's and for one exhilarating moment, she almost believed Reb would kiss her back. Koa moved her lips firmly against Reb's, her hands coming up to hold the older woman's face in place at the exact moment Reb let herself fall back, moving away from Koa, toward her bed.
"Night, kid."
xxx
"What's wrong with Reb?" Judy asked, setting down her plate and sliding into the seat beside Koa, a frown darkening her face. Koa glanced up just in time to see Reb's plate slide across the table, shattering on the floor and sending toast flying over the ground. "Seems like she had a bad night – what happened, Koa?"
"I don't…" Her words died on her lips as Reb met her gaze. She looked murderous as she swiped her hand over the table, disturbing her glass of water and Myra's coffee. Myra's eyes turned cold as she rose to her feet, scuffing hold of Reb's uniform and dragging her forward, murmuring something to her.
"If you don't want to talk, that's all you have to say." Judy offered, smiling faintly. "Reb will get over it, whatever it is, and everything will be alright. You'll see."
xxx
Tears crashed down Koa's cheeks as she settled herself amongst her books, flipping aimlessly through the pages. She had searched for over an hour for her blade, but it was gone, vanished. She had searched through Reb's belongings, but it wasn't there, either. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she would never find it and getting her hands on another was going to be downright impossible.
"Just let me grab something…"
Koa glanced up briefly as Reb stepped into the room, their eyes meeting for a moment before Reb crossed the room to retrieve something from her bedside table. Heart breaking, Koa rubbed at her face with her hands.
"Reb? Oh God, Koa! What's wrong?" Judy hurried into the room as Reb stepped out, glancing only briefly at Koa as she left.
Koa looked up, her chin quivering as Judy dropped to her knees in front of her. Shuffling toward the older woman, allowing herself to be bundled into the waiting arms like a child, Koa let herself go. Tears rolled from her eyes in big, fat drops as her nose began to run and sobs threatened to choke her.
She cried until there was nothing left.
xxx
"I'm sorry, kid."
Koa looked up as Reb settled on the edge of the bed, her face faintly illuminated by the smoke she drew back on. It was dark, like any other night, except tonight seemed darker. Reb's eyes locked with hers as Koa sat up.
"You didn't do anything…"
Reb butted her smoke out and moved forward, silencing the younger girl with her movements alone. She smiled as she climbed onto the bed, settling her legs either side of Koa's. Koa felt her heart pounding as, hesitantly, Reb cupped her cheek and drew her face forward. She pressed her lips ever-so softly to Koa's.
It took Koa a moment to respond, and by the time she was able to, Reb had drawn back, her face illuminated with confusion. Koa bit her lip and moved forward sharply, crashing her lips against Reb's and weaving her hand into the older woman's hair, curling her fingers through the short, silken strands.
Reb smiled against her lips before shoving her back, until Koa's back was pressed firmly to the mattress. Koa slid her hand down Reb's back, beneath her pyjama shirt, her fingers dancing over the smooth flesh as Reb's lips moved against her own. Softly at first, and then firmer and firmer until her tongue slid between Koa's lips.
xxx
"She seems cheerful." Judy smiled, her eyes flickering knowingly toward Koa. "What convinced her to change her mind?"
Koa flushed, looking at her hands as Reb approached.
"Sorry, Jude, I need to steal the kid for a minute." Reb murmured, looking as collected as always as she fixed her collar. "A word, Koa?"
"Don't let me interrupt!" Judy laughed. "I need to find Pixie, anyway."
Koa rose to her feet, following Reb from the Rec Room. They walked for several minutes until they were alone, entirely alone, in one of the most unused corridors of Wentworth. Not even Murphy really came down here.
Her thoughts were interrupted as Reb shoved her against the wall, her eyes twinkling as she caught Koa's mouth with her own. The kiss was rough, hard, but beneath the dominance was the underlying tone of something that Koa could only hope would bloom into love.
Reb drew back, her lips swollen.
"You're mine, kid."
