Author's Note: Yes! Hello! This is my first fanfic that I'm putting up and it's a 'crackfic' or whatever. My friend Lauren (aka xx-ExplosiveFun-xx) were in English and we had to either revise for an upcoming exam or watch Romeo and Juliet.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN DEATH NOTE! LAUREN AND I JUST OWN THE STORY BISHES!
OC - Ro-mao. His name we got from watching Romeo and Juliet. Mercutio calls him 'Ro-mao'
Pairing: Um....Near/Mello slightly? Not really....but meh, if you want to see it that way you can ;)

Okay, enjoy our retarded story.

:D

Once upon a time in Death Note land there lived a beautiful princess called Ro-mao and he was king L's bestest buddy. They were betht fwendths and ate candy all day long.
Once day they spotted a lonely boy called Near chewing on his robot bodyguard called Optus-24hrCp who shot chocolate lasers from his eyes.
Mello, his rival, particularly loved this toy for it shot CHOCOLATE lasers and was forever plotting ways to steal it off Near, with the help of his orange goggled friend Matt. Matt was the best wizard in the land, with over 500 hit points, and 45% armour with 200 magic points. He used his orange goggles with 200 magic points. He used his orange goggles of hypnotism on Optus-24hrCp and he was stolen by Mello (Optus, not Matt). Near, quite outraged by Mello and Matt's hypnotism spell of sneakiness, sent for his bestest buddy L.
L had forgotten about his other best friend Ro-mao who died by getting eaten by a goose (AN: Daww Y_Y). L and Near were in their secret domain plotting ways to get Optus-24hrCp when L had a sudden epiphany.
"All you have to do is kiss and make up, and that would solve the awkward rivalry business. Also with my money I can buy Mello one of his own!"
Little did Near know that the term 'kiss and make up' was a figure of speech.
Oh was Mello in for a surprise!
Yes, so Near went to the forest to find Mello one day. He found him sitting on the top of a great mountain of gold chocolate coins. Near climbed this great mountain and went up to Mello.

Far behind L followed, along with Matt.
"We must stop him, for he does not know it was a figure of speech!" L said, running up the mountain of gold chocolate coins.
"Mello will freak! We must stop this!" Matt agreed, following a few paces behind. Just then the great hero Mel (HEHE THATS ME!) swooped in on her flying Shinigami and pulled Near off the gold chocolate coined mountain. He turned to her in surprise and she said,
"It was a figure of speech, Near! You almost came face to face with certain embarrassment!"
"Thank you oh great hero Mel!" And with that Near gave Mel a biiiiiiiiig hug, Aww ^-^.
L and Matt caught up, exchanging the new robot for Near's.
"Haha Near! My robot's better than yours! It POOPS chocolate!!! NYAHAHAHA!" Mello sang. Suddenly Mel's friend, the weird and wonderful fairy Lauren appeared out of thin air and ran up to Mello.
"What-?!"
GWOMP!

The End

Meanwhile Mikami was raping a Light doll.