AN: I don't own anything, this story is completely fictional.

I hope you all enjoy, please review, hopefully the story's not to bad. :)

It's surprising that im not a lesbian. I mean I have heard of women like me just totally

swearing off men. After they have been hurt betrayed and cheated on one to many times. But

what can I say I like guys always have and will tell the day that I die. But considering im dying

and I have a short time left its really nothing to brag about. The funny thing is, is that im dying

because of a man, literally. Im not some emotionally unstable person who is going to commit

suicide, im not Anna Nicole Smith and dying of a broken heart. Im Brooke Davis have been for

the 33 years of my life that I have had the privilege of living. Which means that I obviously have

never been married. I've never trusted a guy enough to marry him, never loved a guy enough

either. Well that's a lie, there was one boy but he broke my heart and my trust and I was never

able to completely forgive him or get over what happened. Maybe its because after he betrayed

me it seems like every other boy did also. Like they were all domino's falling with the trend.

There was Lucas cheating, Felix writing dyke on my best friends (well at least at the time)

locker, then there was Nick but he cheated also. Then there was Chase I thought he was gonna be

a good one but I was so wrong. I would have never imagined that the "clean teen" would literally

destroy my life. But the funny (what a horrible word) thing is, is that most of my major heart

ache happened over the time period of 2 years. Of course I had my flings before and after my

many heartaches of junior and senior year. But those 4 guys were at the time my world, and I

gave my whole heart and they really never gave anything back. I first kissed a boy when I was 4

years old, had my first boyfriend when I was 8, had my first make-out session when I was 12, lost

my virginity at the ripe old age of 14, was raped at 15 and completely heartbroken at 16,17 and

18. Once again when I think about my history with boys it truly is amazing im not a lesbian, ha I

could never be one.

Im dying, and of course that effects me so much but what's worse is that I could be a murderer. I may just be responsible for many lives. But hell im not gonna think about it anymore, I wont be around much longer.

I will never be a mother

I will never be a wife

I will never have another boyfriend because all they want is sex and I cant offer htem that anymore.

I will not see the next year.

Im dying