Disclaimer: I deny any and all possession of the characters featured. I only rent. The waffle song is not mine, either. It belongs to Nerf Herder, I believe.
Well, just recently I've become fond of Foolshipping (Chazz x Alexis). I don't exactly know the original name, so I thought I'd give it a second name. It's legal, yes?
Besides, this pairing's funny. For those of you who don't know, funny is my game.
Thus, I present to you...my first-ever fiction honoring this pairing! Shipping in my style! Well, more a shipping drabble, really.
I'd like to thank my dear friend Kaiseress for the inspiration!
"DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?"
Excellent! Class has been dismissed! Time to take action, thought Chazz Princeton, rubbing his hands together deviously. Once out of Dr. Crowler's classroom, he tiptoed around the corner and awaited for his epitome of grace to exit.
"Ohhh, here she comes," our Slifer rebel cracked a grin, as he watched Alexis Rhodes glide past him in that lithe, smooth stride of hers. Almost like a tiny dancer, or a prima ballerina...nevertheless, you can be sure that the mere way she moved was a turn-on, especially when he was looking down at her flawless, exquisitely-sculpted legs and her hourglass-like figure!
Wiggling his eyebrows in a most suggestive manner, he slowly crept out from his hiding place, keeping a safe distance from her. But then he began to pick up speed. Even though his toes were aching as though they were ready to fall off, he kept up the pace, until...
"Hiiiiiiiiiiii, Lex!" Chazz cheered, once he assumed a position at his lady's left flank. His cheeks were flushed to a bright, pinkish tone.
Alexis, on the other hand, only rolled her eyes. Oh, great! He's back. Guess he still won't take no for a final answer.
Taking a deep breath, she asked, "What is it now, Chazz?"
In an attempt just to look adorable, Chazz placed a finger on his chin. From what he knew, girls dug cuteness. "Oh, nothing in particular, Lexi. Just had a question-"
"If this is another request for the date, Chazz, it's no. For the umpteenth time." She didn't nessessarily enjoy it when he called her "Lexi", for that matter.
Chazz gave a prompt shake of the head. "Nuh-uh, it's not that at all!" Actually, this whole plan was about asking her out. But this time, in a more indirect statement. "My question for you is:
"Do you like waffles?"
Alexis stopped in her tracks. What did he just say? Why on Earth-?? Of course, Chazz braked along with her.
"What did you say?" the Obelisk Queen asked incredulously.
The Slifer rebel cleared his throat, blotches of pink dotting his cheeks and around the bridge of his nose. "I said, do you like waffles?" To boot, out from behind his back did Princeton pull out a plate with a piping hot, heart-shaped waffle sitting on it, topped with a healthy dose of syrup and a slab of butter.
He's using visuals now? Ugh...if it gets him off my back, Alexis thought, her palm at her forehead. "All right, fine! Yes, I like waffles, who doesn't?"
"Do you also like...pancakes?" This time, he traded the waffle for a stack of fluffy, heart-shaped pancakes, also topped with syrup and butter.
Already, Rhodes wasn't liking where this was going, wherever that may have been. "Uhh..yeah, I like pancakes."
"Excellent. How 'bout French toast, do you like French toast, too?" Can you guess what was done then? That's right, the pancakes were gone, to be replaced by two slices of French-cooked toast (which were heart-shaped, by the way).
Alexis sighed, "Yes, Chazz. I like French toast. I like waffles and pancakes and French toast and all that other breakfast food. But now I've got a question: why would all this matter to you?"
Chazz cracked a delighted grin that disturbed her to a degree. "Thought you'd never ask! Cue the music, Atticus!"
"Wait, you got my brother to-"
She never got to finish that sentence. On account of suddenly, from out of an air conditioning vent, her dear brother rolled out and fell to the linoleum with a thud!
"Woo-hoo! OW!" It took three seconds for the Prince to recollect himself. Dear Lord; to Lex's dismay, he was wearing a neon green T-shirt decorated with images of heart-shaped waffles all over. On his lap was a boom box.
"Hi, Lex!" he waved, then proceeded to press the "Play" button. Before Alexis knew it, bright rock music wafted throughout the hallway. As if by signal, Chazz began singing (or more like shrieking) in her ear:
"Do you like waffles?"
Atticus chimed right in by answering for her:
"Yeah, she likes waffles!"
"Do you like pancakes?"
"Yeah, she likes pancakes!"
"Do you like French toast?"
"Yeah, she likes French toast!"
"Doo-doo-doo-doo,
Can't wait to get a mouthful!"
Disquieted beyond her wits, Alexis began backing away from the two, hands in front of her face. She didn't even want to know what Princeton meant by "getting a mouthful".
But her suitor had other plans; he just kept tap-dancing around her and chanting "Waffles!" over and over in her poor Obelisk ears.
"Did I ever tell you
That you are my little waffle?
Your hair is the color of syrup!
I could just eat you all up!"
"Hey, I think it's working, Chazz! Way to lay the sugar on 'er! Now bring it on home!"
"Right!
"Do you like waffles?" "Yeah, she likes waffles!"
"Do you like pancakes?"
"Yeah, she likes pancakes!"
"Do you like French toast?"
"Yeah, she likes French toast!"
"Doo-doo-doo-doo,
Can't wait to get a mouthful!
Oh, yeah!"
In just the snap of fingers, Chazz had positioned himself as close as he could to her face, lips puckered and inching ever-closer, his hot breath tickling her face.
He never got the chance:
WHACK! WHACK, WHACK!
Just like that. Lying on the floor on his back in a daze, Chazz could no longer feel any sensation in his cheeks. But if he could, they would be red and throbbing and stinging. That was only the physical pain, too; it was nothing compared to the sting called rejection.
Atticus stood up and looked down upon him. "Oww...that's cold."
Alexis, on the other hand, rubbed her wrist in disgust. She didn't want to have to double-slap him, but he had just gone a tad too far, attempting to actually kiss her.
Casting a baneful glare at her brother, she hissed, "We're talking about this later, Att," and stormed off in a huff.
"Ooooh...wow, Chazz, told you, you should've sang 'Baby, Baby'!"
"Ohhh...owww...sh-shut up, Atticus."
END
Once again, that was at least remotely stupid. But I've got a philosophy: if you're going to support any kind of shipping, it never hurt to poke a little fun at it. Because no couple comes without a flaw. You just find them, then exploit them into something humorous.
Good shot, Chazz! You almost had her...I think.