This lifeless body... No it couldn't be... Not this corpse in front of me... It wasn't-
I said his name. I shook his arm. I said his name again, panic rising like bile in my throat. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't accept it. He wasn't de-... I couldn't even say it, much less think it. If I thought about then it would become true. I would have to acknowledge it. That… that he was just gone, not one premonition to warn me...
He's dead, my brain suddenly shouted at me, drowning out all my other thoughts. I flinched back inwardly, trying to hide behind my mental walls away from that word, but my efforts were for naught as I felt tears starting to form in my eyes. I stared down at his body. His already pale skin was growing paler, his lips losing their once rosy pink color. There was no familiar rise and fall to his chest that I had once taken for granted.
I felt something warm and wet start to trickle down my cheeks. It seemed as though my tears didn't care about my resolve not to cry. I pulled his cold hand into mine, and without any warning, I fell against his chest, tears flowing freely, the deafening sound of no heartbeat drowning out what I thought were sobs. Why did this have to happen to you? I thought. Why couldn't it have happened to someone else?
Someone said my name. Who was it? What did they want from me and this… this dead body...? Why wouldn't they just leave me alone? Why were they pulling me away from him!? They couldn't make me leave! They couldn't… they couldn't...
I was being hugged... they were talking to me... Why were they talking to me? I just needed a break... I glanced at the lifeless body once again, promising myself this would be the last look at his face...
The face of my dear little brother.