"What should I get her, brother?" Beckett asked, clutching onto the hand of his beloved elder brother. He rapidly shot his eyes across the room, memorizing every detail.

Artemis let out a sigh, amazed he was even doing this. First off, he wasn't somebody who enjoyed Christmas shopping. It wasn't like he didn't like to give other people gifts; he was much more generous now then he used to be. However, he just didn't know what to get for people of lesser intelligent. What seemed like an ideal gift to him was the worst gift imaginable to another person. When he tried getting people gifts that he thought would be of use to him, it always seemed to get him in trouble.

However, none of that was what was bothering him right now. No, what bothered him right now, was who Beckett asked him to help shop for.

"How about that!" The five year old blurted, grabbing a fluffy, pink, stuffed rabbit. He squeezed it in his arms, and nuzzled the fur on his face, "It's cute, and girls like cute things, right brother?"

Artemis rolled his eyes at the statement.

"Knowing her, she would probably launch it in a missile of some sort," he muttered. Beckett's eyes widened, and he quickly put the animal back on the shelf, not wanting it to succumb to that fate.

"Why not get her a lump of coal?" Artemis suggested. Beckett shook his head.

"No! It has to be something nice! Nobody deserves coal on Christmas!" The blond boy loudly objected, then went back on his search. "Oh!" He suddenly realized, "I know what to get!"

The boy ran off into the distance, knowing exactly where he was going. Artemis let out another heavy sigh, and walked after the boy.

"I can't wait to explain this one to Holly," he muttered sarcastically, and walked after him.

"Beckett got what for who now?" Holly exclaimed over the phone.

Artemis looked over to the boy in question, who was wrapping his gift. Surprisingly, he was very good at wrapping. He once saw a short video on wrapping Christmas presents, and the boy had been a pro ever since. It was true he wasn't a genius like Myles or himself, but the boy had gifts Artemis and Myles couldn't do if they tried.

He was humming happily to himself, feeling good about his good deed. He wildly swang his legs back and forth on his chair, much to the annoyance of Myles, who was doing some sort of experiment under the table.

"Well," Artemis started off, "Beckett got a Christmas present for…" he paused, and rubbed his forehead. This was not the conversation he wanted to be having right now. "Opal. He got a Christmas present for Opal."

"As in Koboi?"

"No. Opal Cortlandt, the character from that soup opera my mom used to watch," Artemis answered back sarcastically. He heard a groan from the other end of the phone.

"Artemis, I have to ask," Holly started, "Why would you let him do that?"

"My brother doesn't comprehend the phrase 'evil demented pixie who deserves to rot in hell'," Artemis explained, "However, if you would like to be the one to try and talk him out of this, be my guest."

There was a sigh on the other end.

"Put him on."

Holly whacked her head on the table, and clenched her fist. She could not believe what she had just done. It was absolutely insane, and she was insane for allowing the situation to happen. She just knew that this was going to come back and kick her in the ass. Hard.

"So Holly, I have to ask," Trouble said, from the other side of the table, "Did you seriously give the okay for one of the mini-Muds to send Opal Koboi, a present?"

Holly shook her head, which was still buried into the table. She lifted it, and hit it across a few more times.

"Don't remind me," she moaned, "Just put me in my straight jacket, and throw me in the cell."

Trouble let out a hardy laugh, and walked over to his officer, patting her on the back.

"So, does this mean that we've found your weakness?" Trouble asked, "Tiny mud-children?"

"Shut it," Holly snapped, poking her head up, and glaring at the captain, "If you had heard what he was saying-"

"Did he have some sort of mesmer?" Trouble interrupted.

"Worse."

Opal Koboi could only stare at the box. If she had heard right, this was a gift from that cursed Fowl's younger brother? She half thought that this was the guard's sick sense of humor, just trying to mess with her.

However, with the box, was a letter. This letter was written in English, not Gnomish, in handwriting she distinctly recognized as the Fowl boy's.

She picked up the letter, sighing. This was bound to be amusing, at the very least.

Opal,

This is all my little brother's doing, and has absolutely nothing to do with me. The only reason I am writing out this letter, is because he begged me, and he cannot write to save his life. Besides, this way, I can tell you that I have absolutely nothing to do with this gift. If it was up to me, you would have been dead a long time ago. Before I get to my brother's part of the letter, I just want to wish you to burn in hell.

"The same goes out to you, Mudboy," Opal spat, and continued reading.

Dear Opal,

My name is Beckett Fowl, and I am four years old. Artemis is my big brother. He has told me all about you. He said that you're a bad guy, and that he's had to save the world from you three times. He also says you're pure evil, and that you're in jail right now. Then, I asked if you would be getting any Christmas presents, and he said no, and I think that's really sad! I think that everyone deserves a Christmas present, even if they are evil. Just because your evil, doesn't mean you can't get a gift! Artemis tried arguing that you don't celebrate Christmas since you are a fairy, but I argued that whatever you celebrate, you must get presents.

I think it's really sad that you won't be getting anything, so I decided to get you something. I wrapped it myself. The paper is black, because Artemis told me that was the color of your soul. I never knew soul's had colors before. I wonder what mine would be. I think it might be blue, because blue is my favorite color. It might be black though. That would be cool, because they our souls would match, or maybe they wouldn't, because I don't know if human souls and pixie souls are the same shape.

I know you hate brother, but that doesn't matter. I hate brother too sometimes. He always wants me to wear shoes. I hate shoes. I think shoes should be illegal, because they make my feet itch. But you're a fairy, so you can fly, so you don't have to worry about that. Artemis also said you destroy all things good and pure. I know shoes aren't good and pure, but you can destroy all of mine, if you really want to. Artemis would be mad, but he hates you, so it doesn't matter if he's mad at you.

Hope you like your gift, and Merry Christmas, or Hanukah, or Cuanza, or whatever it is pixies celebrate.

Beckett Simple-toon

Opal blinked a few times, staring at the letter, then at the box. That was who the Fowl boy was related to? She would have never guessed it.

She smiled, and picked up the box.

She made a mental note that when she destroyed her enemies and all who were dear to them, she just might spare the boy. At the very least, make his death quick and painless.

She opened the box, curious what the boy would get him. She made sure to open it carefully, just in case Artemis had somehow managed to slip a bomb into the gift.

Inside the box, was the last thing she expected to see.

A Ukelele.

So, I've had the idea of Beckett giving Opal a gift for a while now. However, I probably never would have read it if it wasn't for RAHbooks' story "Koboi Christmas".

Anyways, this was very fun to write. Especially Beckett's letter. I have to say, out of all the Fowl character, Beckett is my favorite to write.

Thank you for reading, and hope you've enjoyed!

Jeanne