I feel sad. As if oceans can't even drown out my sorrow, and I live through that pain hidden within me. I have grown so weary that I can't even admit it to myself. I have to go somewhere far away to set it all to rest, to let the sorrow out as the wolves do, with howls that echo through the velvet night.
I set out for a stride in the dark night. It's gleaming with tiny gems that blaze softly, and the moon shines quietly as if giving comfort to a lost wanderer who long since strayed from his way. I can't even feel my limbs anymore as I started to change, quietly, into someone I want to be. As my paws reach the ground I take a few steps, with my violet eyes glossed over as if dead. I feel the echoes of songs I long since forgot, but one of them surfaces: My heart will go on. I just squeeze my eyes already full of tears and run, mindlessly through the meadow. The pain already too much to bear, just seeped out of me as I screamed into the sky. I burned with pain so long held in, the same pain that drove me closer to insanity, but the night was strong. As if saying "let it burn brother, let it purify your wounds, let the river wash it all away." I stopped and let it roar, unleashing the violet that painted the sky, the wilds and rivers. It dragged on forever, I couldn't even stop, just scream, howl and roar. I felt my mind let go and my voice fail, I felt the cold river purge me, and the beauty of calmness and silence reached out to me. I grabbed ahold of it's hand and soon I wasn't in control of myself anymore, I only looked from the side. I saw myself standing there, with tears falling down my dark purple fur, howling at the crescent moon. As the numbness came to pass I felt my ears catching the wind as the song coursed through me. This time, I felt no sorrow, only pride, calmness and valor as the sorrow faded away. The song of the wolf can speak of many things humans can't understand, but I realized now the power it holds. It sang of my life: each day spent, each love lost and each moment strong and happy, the will and resolve hidden within, the strength to move mountains, sorrow and passion melded into one. It all slept there, dormant, waiting for a moment to surface. Now that I heard, I saw myself fall down empty, passing out from the lack of air.
As I woke, I found I was turned on my back and looking in the purple sky with the stars gleaming pleasantly, the moon looking at me with quiet pride, the one I earned. My velvet, dark sky was there, at my reach now. I felt like I could fly now if I so wanted. I laid there in silence that I longed for, with just the crickets that quietly chirped. Some time passed and I felt brave enough to rise to my feet, to look the real world in the eye and to fill it with hope and valor I never had before. I looked into the distance and I heard echoes of those songs from so far away. The cries of pain and pleasure that filled the night, screams of sorrow and freedom, roars of valor and anger. We all set into place here our dreams, sorrows and hopes, to create a world purely our own, one beyond the darkness of the daylight. It filled me with such pride that I heard many valorous hearts let themselves go into the night, following their nature, that I howled with them, as tears of pride rested on my face. We were willing to sacrifice our lives to create this dream like world, to burn to ashes all our love and hate, just to give in to the passion for glory and freedom.
To hear the song of a wolf is a true blessing.