Ok, basically this is where I'm throwing together really short stories for small ideas I've though of for the Xenosaga arc. Hope you enjoy.

Xenosaga and its respected properties do not belong to me. Duh- if it did, I wouldn't be writing this- I'd be MAKING this in the games.

Xenosaga
Story 1

XS1- " That's why..."

Two week have past by. Two week, and the pain is still so great- it's a wonder I have the strength to stand. Two weeks mark such a dark page in my history- but I know others suffered too. I couldn't be selfish thinking I was the one most hurt.

But it seemed like I was.

It felt like I was hurt more than anyone. I lost two people I loved most.
It could all have been prevented if it wasn't for them...
How I hate the UTIC Organization. They invaded us; held us hostage as they tried to retrieve her...

She who awoke too soon. She who brought about the darkness, killing all those people..

Kevin.

My eye close tight for a moment, threatening to bring forth new tears- but I won't let them: not here. Not now. I am at work, in a place where others see me constantly, and look up to me. Those who I am their superior. I can not; will not allow myself to share this pain. It too horrible.
No one should suffer this.
And so I won't let them. I'll keep it to myself. I'll protect them, like I couldn't do before.

Why did you have to risk yourself for me Kevin? Why did you do that? And why did I have to pull the trigger.

I lost two people I loved that day...
Never again.
I will not loose anyone else.
No matter what I must do.

I can hear the faint fall of footsteps... someone is coming my way, but I either ignore them, or my brain doesn't really understand it.
After all this pain I went through.. Vector wants to try and recreate KOS-MOS again. Her designs were kept, but various things changed; and they put me in charge of it. They said it was because I was close with the first project- but sometimes I wonder if it was the right choice?
What is she reacts the same way again?
I don't want to lose her again.

I rub my temples, trying to clear my thoughts, and try to focus on KOS-MOS as a project, more than an A.I. She was being remodeled, but her form was being kept. I was told I could make any changes I wanted. I have some Ideas, but.. as funny as it sounds... I'm stuck on what color hair she'll have.

"Chief? You ok?"

I jerk slightly at the sound of the voice. Let's see.. he's one of the new employees.. in fact he's my assistant. Orange-brownish hair... meekly voice...
Oh.. I think his name was...

"Allen.. Oh.. uhm, I'm ok. I guess I just got lost in thought." I put on a false calm.
He's only been here for a hair over a week, but already, there's something about him that strikes me as peculiar. Actually, unbeknownst to anyone, even him; just shortly after he arrived here, I dubbed him my 'Shadow'. I'm serious when I say he always seems to be right there whenever we work. And even after, he'll follow me around.
Yeah, I've noticed. It's kind of weird, but funny. He's like a puppy. Always trying to impress, and trying to carry a lot of weight.
And still he continues to be my shadow. I seriously wonder if he'll always be following me around like this.
Well, I'm sure once he meets a few of our other co-works, it'll subside.

But part of me hopes.. it doesn't.
Maybe he can be my secret pillar of strength to keep me going.

" Ah, that's good. You know Chief, if you ever need to get some extra rest, I can handle the work for you." He smiles sheepishly.

There he goes again. He really is a puppy. Well, that's alright. I could use a pillar right about now. But remember, your to be my secret one. I can't share my pain with you- I can't have you crumple now, can I? I'm sure you can be strong for a while.

I smile lightly at his offer, and take a moment to actually register him in my mind. He's a decent height, and his hair is more orange tinted. But my eyes can't help but look into his. At first glace they seem simple, but when he steps into the light...

My eyes widen and I speak before I think..

"Blue"

" I-I'm sorry?"

"O-Oh! It's nothing. I was just deciding something for the project. As for your offer, I will think about it; but there is a lot of work for both of us to do, ok?"

"Yes, Chief!"

"Good. I'll be off now. I have to send some information in about KOS-MOS' physical structure appearance."

"Alright. I'll see you later, Chief."

With that he trots off, clumsily avoiding another employee in his path.
I smile and I turn and make my way towards my destination.
I didn't lie actually; I had made a decision. One I think... is simple, yet complex.
The archetype was pretty, but it was dull and empty. I want this KOS-MOS to be full of life.. as much as possible. As so...

" Her hair will be blue."