Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table. Sitting. Thinking. Staring off into space. Something I've not done in years. I don't normally have the time or aloneness to do that. It was rather nice for once. However, I started looking around the house. Studied the angel figurine with her blonde hair, goldish wings, white dress the gold and silver trim. Looked long and hard at the faerie sitting on her pink petaled flower, blue dress spread about her ankles, and glittery wings spread wide. Started looking toward the table. How cluttered it was. Sugar tub sitting out, canister of coffee, trash bags that needed taking to the bedroom. Baby wipes and whole wheat bread. A years old crock pot that had been left sitting out on the porch so long spiders had been nesting in it. A bag of baby clothes.
Then around the kitchen...high chair, black trash can already overflowing after only an hour. Pots and pans piled high in the sink, a floor that desperately needed sweeping. Blender, microwave, the sharps container hung above it. Coffee maker, colander, various pictures-my personal favorite, '4 out of 3 people admit they are poor with fractions'. The food shelves filled and unorganized except for the baby shelf. A pot of water on the stove, softly boiling, set for hot tea. The skeleton apron, and now Julie comes to make a cup of tea. I don't know what it is, but tonight feels different. As if something is wrong, something shouldn't be the way it is. Had a disagreement with Devin earlier. I had asked him, then pleaded, and finally bartered and traded with him to at the very least wash dishes. He ended up putting it off, that he would do it in the morning. I just did them myself. I was disappointed.
But it didn't matter. My head was spinning. Felt like the world was darkening. And it was. My vision went dark. The walls were still there, I could still make out everything in the room. The pain from pulling out another set of stitches left my lower right side, didn't even notice it anymore. I looked around, slowly stood. The room was dark. As if someone had flipped the switch. I looked up. The lights were out. Even more, the whole ceiling fan was on the floor in pieces. Broken glass littered the floor. My flip flops didn't make a sound as I turned a full circle. The fridge door was hanging open, the contents either rotted or what it looked like raided. Same with the freezer, yet its door wasn't even on its hinges. Pots and pans were scattered, looked dented, handles broken off. Shelves overturned, food stuffs either raided or just spilled on the floor amidst broken wood, shelving, glass and plaster. I turned my head. The knickknacks on the half wall shelf were gone. As was the table. I saw a couple of what looked like the legs of the table shoved thru the broken window beside what used to be the oven. Everything was wrong! I walked to the hall, stood in front of the living room.
Everything was destroyed! All the baby toys, the furniture, the windows! My baby's brand new toy that my grandparents had bought for him lay in broken pieces. The red chair was torn and broken apart. The leather seats were overturned and shredded. I turned down the hall. Julie's room looked to have been raided. Bedding was missing, or just torn apart. Red splotches marred the walls. Some in specific designs. Some just splattered across it. The closet doors were gone, a splinter of wood left on one hinge. The next room wasn't any better. The toddler bed looked melted. The bed was no better. Burnt as it was I couldn't even be sure it was an empty bed. Tv shattered on the floor, dresser in splintered pieces. The bathroom sink looked as if someone had taken a sledge hammer to it. The one that hit me the worst tho. My bedroom. The bedroom my baby sleeps in. The crib my baby sleeps in was in pieces. And not all of the pieces were there. The crib mattress was missing. Along with the futon mattress I slept on. Shelves were torn off the walls. Holes from the wall anchors leaving ugly spots covered in paint, ink, and other substances. The dresser was nonexistent. As if someone had taken lighter fluid, doused it, and flicked a lit match on it. The closet was empty. Even the bow and arrows, the swords, weapons of whatever era were all gone. I panicked. My baby's crib was gone. So where was my baby? I turned quickly and walked back down the hall. Not bothering to try and read the writings on the walls. I walked to the front door, stared long and hard. I worried what I would find on the other side. Even the view from the broken windows wasn't enough to tell me what I was walking out into. But my baby...I had to find him. I didn't know where he was. I slowly reached for the handle. Amazingly the door was intact for the most part. I took hold. Where was I going to go? Why was the house this way? What HAPPENED to it? And to everyone? I slowly turned the knob, forcing it the last little ways...
...And pulled.