A Rose By Any Other Name

And once more, the Tardis was hurtling through the star-strewn galaxies, to no known destination. The trip hadn't ended as happy as Rose would have liked, and she and the Doctor had barely spoken since leaving Cassandra to her fate. With the Tardis making its own way, the Doctor turned from the control panel in the centre to look towards Rose. She was sat a short distance away, on the floor with her back supported against one of the organic-looking beams.

"I want to check you out."

She was snapped out of her ponderings, "You what?"

The Doctor made his way closer, crouching down before her on the balls of his feet. "I am a Doctor, you know." Rose managed to hitch a weak smile at his joke. "The brain is a delicate thing, it can't have helped having Cassandra yo-yoing in and out of there. Mind's fragile enough without her going in and messing around – might have some after-effects. Could have harmed a few brain cells."

"Oi! My mind's not fragile! What do you mean harmed a few brain cells?!"

"It's nothing to get too worried about. The brain is delicate but resilient in its power. You just need to make sure you rest."

Rose frowned somewhat as she watched him, lifting a hand to absently tug blonde locks behind an ear. "Well, what about you? She kept going in and out of your head too."

"I can afford to lose a few brain cells," the Doctor replied with a mischievous smile.

She couldn't help but give a small giggle at this, shyly glancing back down into her lap. It was hard to think back over the day's events, with so many blank spaces during which Cassandra had possessed her body. It was hard to piece together the proceedings during own consciousness, but all in all, she was glad they were both out and alive.

As if the Doctor knew what she was thinking, he spoke up quietly. "Do you remember anything of when Cassandra inhabited your body?"

Quickly, Rose shook her head. "No. I keep trying to, but it just makes my head hurt – literally."

"Yeah, that's not a good thing. It might be best if you stop trying to remember."

"Do you remember when she inhabited you?"

The Doctor scratched the side of his neck, "No, not really. And the bit where she kept jumping between us is a pretty bizarre experience to try and recall. A few seconds of consciousness amongst all that empty void.

"It was pretty funny," Rose said, smirking towards him now.

An eyebrow raised sceptically on the Doctor's face. "Oh, yeah?"

"She said it was different being in a man's body."

"Well, I can imagine it is."

Rose's smile turned bashful, "She seemed to enjoy it."

"I'm not surprised!" the Doctor laughed, slouching down off his feet so he could sit down on the floor in front of her. "Anyway, I'm glad my bodily violation amused you."

"What did she do when she was inside me?"

The Doctor's smile faded a little, "Well, lot's of things really. Can't find anything that stands out.. in particular."

"Did she like it?" persisted Rose, wanting to know the woman's opinion.

"Er, I can safely say yes, she did like it."

"Did you like it?"

Just as the Doctor was about to respond, he frowned at Rose, realising that her accent had just gone a little bit off. "Rose?" He recognised the look she was giving him. It was similar to Cassandra's when she had taken to eyeing him up and down. "Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, Doctor."

"Ok, well, that's good. But you really ought to rest. These, er, side-effects seem to be manifesting."

Rose lifted a hand and pushed her hair back over a shoulder in a way that seemed to be entirely beneficial to him. "What side-effects are those?"

"Because of Cassandra going in and out and all that, I assume, and it seems I'm right, that a little bit of her personality has been left behind. It'll go off, so don't worry about that. You'll be right as rain in a few hours. But, until then.."

"Until then.. ?" repeated Rose, watching him closely.

But the Doctor was taking no chances. This time around, he knew it wasn't Cassandra behind her eyes, only her influence. He couldn't tell Cassandra to stop and so he couldn't tell Rose to stop. "Bed," he said simply, as a stern order. He'd said the word before he could rephrase himself and was rewarded with a suggestive smile alighting Rose's lips. "You know what I mean!" he added quickly, pointing a warning finger at her.

The Doctor proceeded to stand to his feet, pulling her up with him. He knew this wasn't her fault, but it certainly made him feel rather uncomfortable – particularly because there was one fundamental event that did stand out during Cassandra's possession of Rose's body.

"Come on, up you get," he said as he helped her upright, ensuring to keep hold of her as he turned and navigated her towards the staircase. She travelled rather willingly, still with a smile across her face that put him at slight unease. With Cassandra gone, Rose was still working on her own emotions, which just so happened to be influenced by the remnants of Cassandra's personality. Entering Rose's room, he led her towards the bed and sat her down in front of him. "I know, inside, this is probably rather confusing, but trust me, it's better if you just sleep."

"But.. I don't want to sleep."

"Well, you really ought to, because I've got to go downstairs and deal with the.. thing."

He began take slow steps backward in a bid to retreat and leave her in peace, but Rose stood to her feet and closed the distance between them rather quickly. "Doctor, I don't want you to go." Her hands slowly slid towards her hips, chest thrust forward rather spectacularly.

The Doctor chanced a glance downward. "Er," he said helplessly a moment before looking back to her face. "R-Rose. This is not you.."

"Yes it is."

"Alright, it is, but if we're being honest with ourselves, you're not entirely yourself right now, are you?"

"But I'm curious," said Rose, whom upon advancing further caused the Doctor to retreat until his back hit the closed door. "Cassandra knew. She knew that I've been.. looking. But what I want to know is, have you been looking too?"

The Doctor rested back against the door as he frowned down at her in apparent bemusement. "Looking? Looking at what?"

Rose glanced down over his form as though she was absently inspecting his appearance, only for her eyes to flick back upward onto his face with such a suggestive allure to their depths. His eyes having not shifted from her own, it was becoming a ridiculously intense battle to restrain himself from doing something he may regret. "I can tell that she did something, Doctor. Something when I wasn't there, but you won't tell me what."

"She was behaving very strangely, which is why I began to realise it wasn't actually you."

"And do you believe it's me now?"

He couldn't help but sigh. "Yes, of course I believe it's you. But I did say that Cassandra's meddling would have some after-effects but you're clearly not listening to a word I say – and would you please stop touching me!" His last few words were shouted as his hands dived down to grab hers, of which had snaked towards his waist. Forcefully, he returned them by her side. "Now, please, leave me alone," he said stiffly, turning and quickly wrenching open the door to return to the control room.

"You're already alone," said Rose quietly, and even the soft tone in which she spoke caused the Doctor to stop so abruptly; it was like she had screamed it at him. "Even now, when I'm here, with you."

"What are you talking about?" he muttered, keeping his back to her, stood on the other side of the threshold.

Rose quietly stepped closer to him, but didn't get as close as she did before. "You have this.. barrier, or something, like you're trying to keep me away."

"I'm not trying to keep you away."

"No? You act like needing people is a sign of weakness! Well, it's not, it's a part of being human."

"Well, I'm not human, am I!" he exclaimed harshly, turning and glaring at her.

Her suggestive front had simmered to provide him with a cool, even stare. "But I am, Doctor."

"You want to know what Cassandra did, hm? She tricked me, manipulated me. She brought me into a moment of weakness that I cannot let happen again! I do not let my emotions rule my head, because that's when things start getting really dangerous, Rose. That's when the real trouble starts, because I can't distinguish myself any longer! I lose sight of who I am and the minute I let my defences down I know I've failed myself. So, yes, there is a barrier because it's too dangerous to devote myself to anyone!"

Heavy breaths panted from him as he stared down at her, eyes wide and fanatical. Rose, momentarily stunned into silence, found her voice once more. "You can't stop yourself from feeling.."

"Yes, I can."

"Tell me what she did, Doctor."

Still panting, he reached forward without any words of warning, dragging Rose towards him and forcing her into the same passionate, aggressive kiss Cassandra had earlier drove that same body to deliver. He was maddeningly torn between showing her exactly what Cassandra had done and revisiting the experience of feeling Rose Tyler so close to him, so eager. When she had kissed him earlier he had been too stunned to even respond, but this time it was her who was left bewildered, stunned and exhilarated. Fingers lay intertwined in her hair, holding her head against his as he gave the kiss all the energy he had. It was powerfully tempting to continue, but he drew himself backwards from her, his hands returning to his side.

"S-she did that?" asked Rose, blinking up at the Doctor.

Still his eyes hadn't left her face. "Pretty much." Rose ventured forward carefully, head inclining upward in a bid to try and return her lips to his. A hand stopped her on her shoulder and he gently, but firmly pushed her back. "No," he said simply. "I can't, Rose. I'm sorry."

"You just did!"

"And I've gone too far. I told myself I wouldn't get emotionally attached. One day, you won't be with me, Rose. One day, I'll be on my own again."

But Rose shook her head, "I'll never leave you, Doctor."

"You can promise that if you want, you can spend the rest of your life with me. But the problem is, I can't spend the rest of my life with you." He watched her face carefully as her saddened reaction formed. Brow lowered in a small frown, eyes lowering to observe the floor. The Doctor breathed a great sigh before he turned, footsteps ringing as he hurried down the winding metal staircase to return to the control room.

A short moment later, the sound of heeled boots clanged down after him. Following, Rose hurried on down the steps, turning into the control room to see the Doctor stood in the centre, glasses upon his nose as he became greatly immersed in the readings. "Doctor," said Rose softly, bidding for his attention.

"Yes?" he replied, letting her know he was listening, but he didn't look at her.

"Tell me, is it worth spending a lifetime always wondering 'what if'?"

Now he turned his head, looking over his shoulder at her. "Is it worth losing half of who I am in the end?"

"Doctor.." said Rose quietly, closing her eyes. For a moment, he thought she was going to start crying, but he was quick enough to notice the danger signs and he ran to her side in time to catch her slumping form.

"I told you, you should be in bed," he whispered, holding her tightly as he lifted her back onto her feet.

Rose picked her head up slowly. "You've told me a lot of things, Doctor. But I don't always agree with them."

He made a weak laugh, "Yes, that's very true." Straightening, he began to return to the staircase once more. "But this time, you are going to sleep."

Reaching the room, he carefully set Rose on the bed, but this time laid her down, ensuring her head met the pillow. With her head hurting from Cassandra's earlier intrusions, Rose admitted she felt a lot better lying on the soft bed. She smiled slowly as she watched the Doctor, whom had lowered to kneel on the floor so that his face was level with hers. "I mean it, you know," she began quietly, feeling her eyes aching to fall shut. "I.. I really would spend the rest of my life with you, exploring."

"I know you would," he replied.

Rose nodded her head slightly in assurance, reaching upward to place a small kiss to the side of his lips before she rolled from him to go to sleep. The Doctor watched her with a gentle sigh, straightening to his feet. Carefully, he pulled the blankets over her form, ensuring she was comfortable. "Wake me when we to our next destination."

"Of course," the Doctor said softly. "Sleep well, Rose." He quietly backed out of the room and closed the door onto the latch. From here on in, it wouldn't be spoke of again, not until it would be too late for either of them. Because the Doctor had been right, one day she wouldn't be with him any longer - but he was already emotionally attached, too attached. He loved her, and that was the curse of the Time Lords.