I've always been a huge fan of Snape. I think that his love for Lily was unhealthy and obsessive, which makes it sweet in it's own way. But in no way do I think that what he said to her was acceptable. James was good enough for her, and all you haters better not flame. Because I will flame you back. Fight fire with Fiend-Fire bitch! Ignoring my rants, this is something I came up with. I'm tired, so it's probably a load of shit, but bear with me!
Disclaimer: I'm not even going to think about saying I don't own Harry Potter. Darn!
A/N This is written just before his death, so if you haven't seen HP and the DH part 2, do not read.
Dear Lily
I love you. I've loved you for almost thirty years. And I'm not stopping now, even though I know I never deserved you. You deserved somebody that could buy you the world. That would never say a hurtful thing to you. Never make you cry. You were perfect. And you deserved someone as such. There isn't waking moment where I don't regret what I said. What I told Lord Voldemort. If I'd never have told him, never got involved with the dark arts, then you'd still be alive. Still breathing.
I think that if I'd never called you that word, then we might have still been friends. You might never have fallen for Potter. You might have fallen for me. He didn't deserve you. No man deserved you. You were too perfect for any man. But I tried to make myself believe that you'd fall for me. That eventually you'd wake up and realise how I love you so. How it was never anyone else. Only you. Only you take took my breath away just by being in the room. Only you that ever made me feel this way. But that day never came. Because I lashed out when Potter and Black tormented me. I lashed out at the only true friend I had. I tried to apologise, but you never forgave me. I knew I didn't deserve your apology. That I didn't deserve to even be near you, but I still tried.
Then, he came to the school. Harry. I couldn't bear it. The solid proof that you loved another man, being flaunted in my face. My heart yearned for you stronger than ever. He looked just like his father. Cocky. Arrogant. But, his eyes. Those green eyes that I fell for when I was nine. Staring me in the face. I'd never admit it to any living soul, but I cried on the night of September 1st 1991, for the first time since that fateful night at Godric's Hollow. I cried until I could not cry no more. My heart was being ripped to shreds, and I couldn't tell a soul.
My Patronus is a doe, did you know that? The same as yours. The same as it's always been. I guess you didn't know that I told Dumbledore to protect you either. I'd have died myself that night if it meant keeping you safe. I'd give up everything and anything just to hear you sweet voice, or the angelic sound of your laughter, or to feel the warmth of your skin. I never wanted you to die because of me. Because of what I told Voldemort. All I wish for is one last chance to say I'm sorry. One last chance to say I love you. I never told you I loved you, and I'm never going to get the chance to. But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop. I'll love you until the end of time itself. I always have, and I always will, Lily.
I write this letter in the hope that you'll read it. But I know, deep down in my heart, you never will. And even if you could read it, my writing would be water-damaged and streaked as I'm silently crying as I'm writing this letter of devotion to you. I just wanted you to know. I love you. I've always loved you. Ever since I saw you in the park when I was a small child, I knew it was you. And that it never could be anyone else. You stole my heart, Lily Evans. And that's the way it's always been. And the way it's always going to be until the moment after I die. My dying breath will be for you. And my thoughts will be of you. And my undying love for you. And how I could never have been good enough for the girl that captured my heart.
I love you, Lily. And I will love you until time itself stops.
Always
Severus
It took me all off ten minutes to write this, and I think it's the most beautiful thing I've written. I didn't cry at Titanic. Nor at The Notebook. But that five minute flashback in Deathly Hallows of Snape's memories made me cry. Right in the middle of the cinema. I cried and cried. It was so beautiful, I felt like I had to write this. So there it was. Please comment.
Girl-With-No-Name x