Yuki's Journal
Chapter 1
April 16
Why? Why did you have to go? Why is it that since the accident, you haven't left my mind? I miss you. I miss you so much.
Looking back to all our fights, all our arguments, I came to realize that I never really hated you. I loved you. What got me the most I think was your pride. You had a lot of it, all the Sohmas did, but yours was different. Everything you did, every time you spoke, everything was filled with pride.
I would admire you from afar, afraid that in some way I would damage you if I got too close. I never knew you were hurting until the day you left, leaving only a note behind. I felt guilty, for hurting you the way I did. I couldn't believe no I didn't want to believe that you were gone.
I went looking for you, day and night. I couldn't eat; I couldn't even sleep for memories of you would pop into my mind. For three weeks my body felt empty. It felt as if I wasn't alive. Everyone was worried, even Akito. I had called everyone I could think of, the cops and hospitals, but still noting. I had started to recover a bit when Akito told me. There was a hospital that had admitted a boy a few days earlier. According to the hospital the boy matched your description.
I was shocked. How had you ended up there? You were always so strong. I was so was emotionally destroyed from the past three weeks, that I broke down after hearing the news.
"My Kyo, my kitty, was hurt. You were hurt and it was entirely my fault." I kept repeating over and over.
The next day at school, I went up to the roof. You would always be there, sitting or dozing off. I hadn't brought anything with me, everything was in the classroom. I looked around for something, anything that would help me, and than I found it, a small broken piece of glass.
I didn't feel as the glass penetrated my skin, all I saw was red on the back of my hand. I didn't stop, even when my blood started to drip onto the floor. I was forced to stop when Haru took away the glass. I raised my head to see the worried faces of Tohru and Momiji. I was sent home with Hatori. After bandaging my hand, I was taken to bed.
I couldn't stand not seeing you; I had to go to the hospital. I asked the nurse for your room number. She told me that you were in room 223, ICU, and that I was to be very quiet. I stood at the doorway shocked. You were hooked up to so many machines on both sides of the bed. The left side of your head was shaved; you could see the staples they used to close the wound. You had wounds on both arms, even your legs. You looked so small surrounded by the machines. You would blink your eyes not really seeing me. I was filled with guilt and sadness as I saw you lying there. Stripped of everything, even the one thing you treasured most, your pride.
-Yuki Sohma