I apologize for any future mental, cracked up humor. I'm not responsible for what I write while punch-drunk and in the presence of my brother. He comes up with the most random, messed up stuff. This is just a short oneshot poking fun at Ichigo's name. So…here we go!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach and am making no profit from this fanfic.
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"STRAWBERRY!!!" screeched Rukia as she tackled Ichigo from behind.
The redhead sat up, rubbing the ever-growing lump on his forehead (which makes no sense, considering he got smacked in the back of his head o.0). "What? What do you want?" he asked, irritated.
"You're going to help me make strawberry shortcake."
Ichigo blinked. "That's it?" Rukia nodded. "Okay, I guess it couldn't hurt. Strawberry shortcake only takes, like, five minutes to make right?"
"YAY!!!" Rukia tackled him again out of joy, this time from the front, creating a large welt on the back of his head. "Let's go!" She dragged him into the oddly decorated kitchen and forced him into a ridiculous strawberry costume. He struggled and kicked and bit and clawed, but Rukia never gave up, eventually coming out on top with Ichigo sporting a pout and a bulbous strawberry body. Rukia stood back to admire her handy-work.
Ichigo scowled at her. "If I had known this was what you meant, I would've never agreed to this. I look ridiculous!"
"Good! You are ridiculous! It's healthy for you to appear the way you are," stated Rukia in a very philosophical manner. Ichigo rolled his eyes and Rukia clapped her hands together. "Okay! On to the next ingredient!"
Ichigo's eyes widened. "What do you mean?" he asked slowly.
Rukia held up a Redi-Whip can and grinned like a mad fool high on windex. "Can you say 'whipped cream?'" (That line is a take off a scene in my high school fic which is yet to be posted w00t for the Femme-men chapter! so just keep in mind it is not native to this fic.)
Ichigo shook his head and ran out of the room. Rukia chased after him, still holding the whipped cream can and laughing maniacally. Our poor little orange-haired high school student would've fled into the street, but he was still in that stupid strawberry costume and couldn't escape fast enough. Rukia caught up with him and tackled him a third time. Spraying whipped cream all over him, she laughed and ranted inaudibly while Ichigo screamed for his life…and his dignity, which was lost by this time.
"There you go. All creamy," stated Rukia as she stood up and dusted herself off. Ichigo again grimaced and glanced at his whipped cream-covered strawberry costume. He picked off a bit of whipped cream from his face and flicked it away.
"Hey Rukia, strawberry shortcake has cake underneath the strawberries and whipped cream you know. So what's going to be the actual shortcake?" Ichigo asked as he sat up properly.
Rukia waggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively and grinned again. "I am."
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Heh heh heh!!!! LOL suggestive themes. Rukia goes on the bottom I guess o.0
Review people!