Of the Sky and Moon
Me and Sky out hunting again. He seem happy to be out, away from home problems, so I am happy too.
He walk confidently, with strong strides. I try to mimic them.
Sky is next leader. I know this. But I do not feel he want it. No one else see his looks-away or tiny frowns. But I watch, and I see. No one challenge him. They see his strength, and is all that matters to them. They do not see him as friend, but as something above that.
I feel... convinced, yes, that I am friends with Sky. There is not as much bullying when I am with him. And he treat me with respect and tell me silly thing like 'You could be leader instead of me.' I see him as leader, but also friend, and maybe even brother.
He stop and sniff air. I do the same, but smell no one. My nose is still no good. He shake his head in a direction and walk that way. I follow quietly.
It is some time before he stop again. I am looking at bugs and listening to trees. They are calm. I run into Sky, but he do not move. He is sniffing again.
"No food," he growl.
I sniff too, but still nothing. I hear trees groan in the North.
"Maybe North," I say.
He look at me in the not understanding way, but he nod. Maybe he believe me now.
We head North.
Trees groan louder, and sound maybe in pain. I stop. Maybe bad idea.
Sky do not stop. He do not hear them.
"Maybe bad idea," I say out loud.
He stop and look at me in the not understanding way. He is confused because he do not hear.
The groaning stops. I listen for ten breaths, but is quiet.
"Maybe nothing." I do not say why. I do not talk about spirits anymore. Sky tell me not to.
Sky breath heavily and move on. I follow. My tongue feel dry.
A crack. Sky stop. Branch stepped on, not by us.
Sky is on full alert, looking, sniffing, listening. I try to do so as well, but is not effective. So I trust Sky.
Suddenly growl. Loud for me to hear. Skyfang hear too, and bristle.
"Now I know why there's no food." Sky growl.
Big shape appear from North. Big brown bear. Scary and angry. Blood on mouth.
I step back.
Sky step forward.
"Sky. We run?" I ask.
"Run if you want. I need to stop this bear." He reply.
I look back at bear and tremble. Bear is strong. I am weak. I know this. Sky is strong, but not strong like bear. I do not feel confident.
"Sky. We get help?"
"Either you help or you run and get someone."
I pace back and forth. The bear advance slowly. Her eyes dark. Sky growl loudly to intimidate.
I stop pacing and make up mind. I growl too. Sky protect me, I protect Sky.
We circle bear in different directions. Make it wary. Make us more vulnerable, but also it.
It looks at Sky. I relieved for moment, but also nervous. My turn to attack.
I leap forward and attack, but miss. Bear turn to me and step back. Sky attack next and make big scratch in bear's arm. Bear roar and swipe at Sky. Sky duck and attack again, going for throat. I jump on back and try to damage. Bear bat away Sky and turn to me when I fall off.
I back up. Bear angry. Very scary. It roar again, and I cower.
"Don't let up!" Sky snarl at me. He jump at bear and swipe at her back. The bear turn again, frustrated.
I huff and try to be brave again. I can attack her back, I tell myself. She bleed, then she weak. Just like Silverthorne.
I get close and bite at legs. I see blood, then feel pain in side. I am rolling in snow and dirt. Can't breathe. When rolling stops, I wheeze. My chest feel heavy.
I hear Sky growl louder, and bear respond in kind. I try to get up, but world is darker? My legs do not listen. My thinking is like leaf circle in wind. Did head hit something?
I try to get up again. Legs move this time. I huff and stand. Sky struggle alone against angry bear. Hard to fight without teamwork.
I take a step forward, but world moves up? And sideways?
In darkness, I see shapes and feelings I have not seen before. They give message, but not message from spirits or trees or rocks. Message from Sky. They are his shapes and feelings. Sharp at first, angry. Then wobbly and worry. Then darkness again.
When I wake, I huff and feel pain everywhere. My thinking say 'Sky' and I look for him. How long did I sleep?
I smell blood, and see it in snow piles. I get up slowly and follow scent. Legs hurt.
Not far away, I see bear on ground. Not moving. Sky is also not far away, also on ground. Also not moving?
I try to hurry, but pain make me slow.
I reach Sky and see breath cloud. Breathing, but very bloody. His blood or bear blood, I do not know this.
"Sky?" I say.
He open his eyes and look at me.
He say "You're alive. Good. I thought she got you too."
His breath is ragged. He is in pain. My chest hurt from inside now. I fear for Sky.
"You defeat bear. You strongest." I try to say good things.
Sky coughs and blood comes out. "You got her legs. It gave me the advantage."
I nudge him. "You get up. You get attention. Everyone will celebrate."
He does not get up.
"Sky," I say, "You strongest. You win. You go home and rest."
He looks distant. He quiet.
"Sky..." I let out whimper against my will.
"I think," He say quietly, "This is it for me."
"Sky!" I bark harshly. "You defeat bear! You strongest! You become leader and everyone happy!"
He not say anything.
"You do not die here," I plead, "I tell everyone forever how great you are."
He still not say anything.
"Sky..?" I whimper again.
He exhale deeply, then cough.
"Damnit, Moon Moon," He say shakily, "I never thought I'd die crying."
I lie down beside his head. My chest hurt. My nose hurt. Everything hurt.
"You... you die with determination, with wounds greater than any other, with pride and with dignity and with strength. That is what I tell everyone."
He exhale again. He not breathe in again.
I stay quiet for a while and feel sad everywhere. The trees feel my sadness and groan quietly. The wind stop out of respect. The quiet allow Sky to leave peacefully.
I howl a song for Sky. I tell world of his feat, and his heroism. I sing of his kindness and his courage. And I mourn the loss of leader, and of one true friend. I let echoes inform forest of his passing soul.
When I finish, others have joined. They see what happen, and some sing their own songs, but I do not care. Their songs do not mean anything to me.
I burrow underneath Sky and lift him up on my back. Heavy, but something I must do. Others see my attempt and try to take Sky, but I refuse. Is my duty. Is painful and slow and pitiful. I do not falter.
When I return to home, I finally lower Sky to ground, and inform others how he died. Everyone is sad. Perhaps as sad as me. 'Now is your chance', say my thoughts.
I stand over Sky as straight and fierce as I can. My nerves almost break me, but I stand strong. "Sky believe in me. Sky tell me I strange, but I capable of big things. I also believe in Sky. He meant for bigger things than us. Is why he no longer here. He go up to stars, not to join, but to be leader of stars. He become big blue above. We call it Sky now."
Their looks say they understand. I feel relief. "I want to show Sky he not wrong. I will be better. I will become worthy of Sky beliefs. You will see."
I turn and leave home. It is no longer home. Not without my friend. I do not say so, but they will know. And one day I will return. One day when I am worthy of being leader. I owe to Sky.
While he leader above, I become leader below.
I know this. Because he want it.