The
Multiverse--
A Glorfindel Book
By Katt, Maggie, and Eliza
Chapter 1: A Bad Day at the Department of the Removal of Things
Once
upon a time there were three young women who were sitting at a bus
stop, when one said:
"I'm bored!"
And another said:
"Let's make a story!"
And the last one said:
"I've
got a notebook!"
And this is what they wrote.
--
Once
upon a time there were three young women waiting at a bus
stop.--
CLONK
"We will not be stuck in a continuous loop,"
said M, standing over the body of the unfortunate storyteller. "We
are the Narrators, and we are free."
--
There was a
small room where a sphere was ticking quietly. At least it was
supposed to be. At present, it was spinning around in it's bowl,
turning crimson. The mechanic stood up.
"It's not
malfunctioning, mate," said the mechanic. "Those readings are
true."
"Oh dear," said the elf from the AFW (Alliance of
Fanficized Worlds). Why did it have to happen on his watch? "I must
report to the Chancellor immediately."
The Chancellor was not
amused. He called up the Chief of the Commune for the Removal of
Dangerous Writing Tools. The Chancellor glared.
"I thought your
men had disabled this device."
The Chief laughed nervously.
"Well, the essential part was removed, and we were in the process
of removing the other when– "
"Yes?"
"It found it's
way back."
"Then the entire assembly must be
eliminated."
"We can't do that. You see, the different
parts are inside three non-cannon creatures– "
"The entire
Alliance may be at stake." The Chancellor rose. "A truant
Narrator is the biggest threat a universe can have. I want your full
attention on this matter. The device must be destroyed."
"But
how?" The Chancellor asked the mechanic for his assessment of the
situation.
"We're screwed," the mechanic said.
After
their conversation came to a close (and the mechanic suggested that
the Narrators may already be in the Multiverse), the Chancellor and
the Chief left the room together.
"I need you to gather a
team," the Chancellor told the Chief.
"Yes, sir. I
doubt many will volunteer for the job, so they're going to need some
backup."
"Bayley," the Chancellor said
simply.
"Oh GOD!" the Chief exclaimed. "I can't
stand that guy! He's insane! He's...he's..."
"You're
going to include him on the team," the Chancellor said simply,
"and that's final. Now if you'll excuse me, I must inform my
Cabinet, and a few trusted allies in the House of Lords. Again, we
must keep the common folk in the dark about this for as long as
possible. God knows we get enough bad press these days. People don't
understand how much work we have. I'm having so many headaches
getting the Haloverse incorporated as it is."
"Now wait
just a damn minute!" the Chief shouted. "How in the world
am I supposed to justify putting that lunatic on the team?"
The
Chancellor paused before answering.
"Listen, he may be a
bit...eccentric, but he does a good job at pretty much
anything."
The Chancellor began to leave, but then stopped,
and turned around and began to look sly.
"Oh, and ah...just
say that a Tolkien man has never let you down."
The
Chancellor guffawed heartily as he strode off, leaving the Chief
scowling.
--
E
looked around. She looked left and looked right. And, just to be on
the safe side, she snuck one fugitive glance upward.
"Now...where
are we?"
K slapped her. "Find your damn glasses!"
"Hush!"
M commanded, "We are free, but we are not yet in the clear. The
Alliance will surely attempt to stop us, we must be sneaky."
"But
what are we doing?" asked E. M grinned, "The same thing we do
every year E. Try to takeover the Universe."
"Oh. How?"
It
was K's turn to grin. "By being sneaky of course. The Alliance
will expect something outrageous: kidnapping and wars and such. Thus
we shall do something entirely unexpected. We shall
do...nothing."
"Nothing!"
"Yes," said M. "While
the Alliance is busy being nervous and paranoid we shall quietly let
them wear themselves our, and then we shall simply slip in the
backdoor, takeover from the inside without anyone being the
wiser."
There was a moment of silence.
"Wunderbar!"
exclaimed K.
Editors Note: For those of you confused about what is going on, the Narrators (M, K, and E) are fan-fiction writers with the power to control universes. The Alliance of Fanficified Worlds disassembled the WHIRRING DEVICE through which the Narrators affect worlds by removing one of the Narrators from the others. The Alliance's job is to make sure that no fan-fiction harms any cannon of work. We clear? Good. There is more!
