A/N: This is basically a recollection of Lei's flashbacks (some are from MG, some I made up). The last half is from San Cai's POV as it says. Please review, and no flames please!
Disclaimer: MG, HYD, and F4 don't belong to me. The song from this fic doesn't either. The song is called "Stubborn For You" and it's by Vic Zhou/ ZaiZai. Thanks to Sherry, of faithful4ever for song translation!
Guardian Angel. I suppose that's what I was to her, always there to protect her, always there to lend my shoulder, always there to comfort her. Always, I silently vowed, would I watch over her, protecting her, as I drove down the run down road.
::Flashback::
"Don't touch me!" screamed San Cai desperately, "Let go!"
"Let her go," I said quietly.
"HuaZeLei." stated a male student with messy black hair, surprised that I was the one who had come to the girl's rescue.
I glanced at the girl; she was sprawled on the floor, breathing heavily despite her efforts to breathe normally, and staring at me with large brown eyes, like eyes of a frightened deer.
"I said, let her go." I repeated slowly and calmly, biting out each of the words.
"But Dao Ming Si told us to do thi-"
"Enough," I said, raising my voice slightly, annoyed at their insufferable excuses.
Raising my voice must have done the trick, for after I finished, they scrambled away quickly.
The girl got up on her feet and glimpsed up at me, "Why did you save me?"
"No one came to save you," I muttered lamely, "I just don't like this kind of thing, that's all."
I turned away quickly, my face slightly flushed; this was the most the courageous I had done for anyone, and it was for a girl I barely knew. Little did I know, this was symptom of being in love.
I was soon pulled out of my pondering by nearly inaudible crying and occasional sniffles.
I had no experience with comforting girls, as Mei Zuo and Ximen did, and was very flustered about what I should do.
I walked back towards her and did the only thing I could think of; a handstand.
"What are you doing?" she asked, her eyelashes wet with tears.
I took a deep breath, "When I was little, I was taught by a friend to do a handstand when I felt like crying, so the tears that originally would've flowed out would not. From now on, when you want to cry, do a handstand."
::Flashback::
I don't know at what time ,
The North wind started blowing,
::Flashback::
"DON'T RUN!" yelled an angry mob of students.
Pounding footsteps were heard, and soon San Cai, the girl I had accidentally fallen in love with, and Qing He, her friend appeared around the bend, running with all their might to escape the other students.
Suddenly, Qing He slipped and fell onto the ground, and San Cai, being a loyal friend would not leave without her friend.
The large group of students had finally caught up, water guns in hand, and started to pumping water soaking them.
I couldn't hold it in any longer; "That's enough!" I demanded.
Ai Si walks towards me, "Do you know what you are doing right now?"
"I think you've done enough," I stated courageously.
"D-d-d-don't tell me you l-like her!" sputtered Ah Si.
I couldn't answer at the time. Was this love, or merely sympathy?
"Why are you helping her?" he asked unbelievingly, cutting into my thoughts "You could be withdrawn from school, and you don't care at all?"
I was reflecting on the latter question, when he suddenly grabbed San Cai harshly up from the floor by her arm. Following my instincts, I grabbed onto her other arm, but gently enough so she would not be hurt.
"When are you going to stop protecting her?" he snarled.
"Are you trying to control me?" I asked, for this question had been on my mind frequently since we met.
He ignores this question, and demands, "Let go!"
"What if I don't want to?" I challenged.
Our argument was interrupted by the girl, "Let go! Let go, Dao Ming Si, YOU STUPID PIG HEAD."
I let go, afraid I am hurting the girl, and Dao Ming Si does the same simultaneously.
"Fine," announced Dao Ming Si icily, pointing a finger at me, "We are no longer friends from now on! I will not talk to you again!"
::Flashback::
And in a icy cold night,
I got used to loneliness
::Flashback::
"You better start running," I stated.
A loud, almost ear-splitting popping noise fills the air, and beautiful, colorful fireworks graced the dark sky.
"Are you crazy Hua Ze Lei?" asked San Cai rhetorically, "You could've killed me!"
Ignoring her comment, I gazed into the beautiful night sky, I calmly said, "Have you heard that when dawn is about to come, angels would pay respect to God, and if at this time, you set fireworks, you can call out to them? Then the wishes you have will come true easily?"
I faintly heard her whisper in awe, "But, it's so beautiful..."
Then I put my head down, and silently wished to God, "I wish that San Cai will be forever happy, and that I will be able to watch over her and protect her, always."
::Flashback::
It doesn't matter,
Whether you understand,
My silent Vigil,
::Flashback::
I glimpsed at San Cai, and stated the obvious, "You're shaking."
Glancing at her hands, she said, "Huh. So strange."
I reached over and held her hand, our hands fitting together perfectly, like pieces of a puzzle, "Don't worry. I'm here."
"And I always will be," I added to myself quietly.
"Hmm?" asked San Cai, cocking her head in confusion, "What did you say?"
I smile reassuringly, "Nothing, nothing at all."
::Flashback::
My wanting to be loving to someone,
There's no need for a reason,
::Flashback::
"What can you do in three minutes? Admit defeat!," demanded Dao Ming Si at the basketball game.
Empowered by San Cai's anxious face, I say determinedly, "No matter what, I will protect San Cai. Out of the way!" Then I shot a basket, and scored. As I did this, I surprised everyone at the game; even myself, for I had never as talented as Ah Si at basketball. Maybe, I thought to myself, this was the power of love.
::Flashback::
Making space in my embrace,
Always reserving a place for you,
::Flashback::
After seeing Ah Si and Xiao Zi's tender moment together, I knew how she felt. I whispered softly, "If you want to cry, then cry."
She puts a superficial smile on, "Huh? Who needs to cry? Why would I need to cry?," she paused, "Can you lend me your back for a bit?"
I nod, and she leans on my back, crying in heartbreak.
At this time, I felt almost useless, the only way I could've helped was by silently standing behind herm loving her mutely.
::Flashback::
I just can't bear using my hands,
To chain you in my embrace,
::Flashback::
I was feeling more and more worrisome, as I waited for Ah Si and San Cai to come to the banquet; they were already late by half an hour. This banquet was crucial to the Dao Ming Corporations as well as the Hua Ze Corporations.
I sighed in relief as I saw their car pulling in, with Ah Si driving and San Cai sitting in the front seat next to him. However, panic soon possessed me, when I realized the car was not being driven, but skidding out of control. The jet black car zoomed past me within seconds, and rammed into the wall forcefully.
Ah Si had been alright, other than a broken arm and a few minor bone fractures. San Cai, on the other hand, had a fractured wrist and worst of all the cornea of both her eyes had been severely damaged. San Cai, the girl I loved with all my heart, had become blind.
::Flashback::
My love, you may use in anyway you like,
You may make any requests,
I'm still steadfast about you,
I don't care if in the end I get nothing,
::Flashback::
Lulling myself to sleep on the burgundy sofa, I mused about how I could help ease San Cai's pain. Pehaps I could find a donor. Or maybe-the door creaked open, and the doctor stepped in, cutting in to my pondering.
"Mr. HuaZe," he began somberly, "Ms. Dong's seeing ability is in great dange; she needs to find another cornea in no more than three days."
I nodded in comprehension, "I'll find one as soon as possible."
"Remember," reminded the doctor lightly, "the sooner the better." And with that he exited the hospital room.
I decided to get a good night's sleep and find a donor tomorrow. I settled myself on the sofa once again, taking one last look at San Cai before drifting off in to dreamless sleep.
::Flashback::
Even if you don't understand my heart's pain,
And don't understand my vulnerability,
::Flashback::
The day after that, I woke up at an extremely early time (for me at least), of 10:00. Immediately after I had eaten and brushed my teeth, I rushed to the supermarket, buying food for San Cai. I returned in the room, just in time; San Cai had just woken up.
"Lei? Is that you?" asked San Cai, while attempting to climb off the hospital bed.
I walked swiftly towards her to tuck her back in bed, stating softly, "Yes, it's me."
She sniffed the air, "Mmm. Did you bring me food? How did you know I didn't like hospital food?" She faked a smile as I fed her the food, "You know, this isn't too bad, not being able to see, I mean. I feel like a princess, with you feeding me and all." The room was silent for awhile other than her chewing.
"You know," I said, taking a deep breath, "You don't have to pretend around me, you don't have to pretend to be strong.'
"But, I am a weed," sighed San Cai, "I am supposed to be strong."
Racking my mind for a word of wisdom, I said, "Even wilts wilt sometimes."
"Really?" she asked, wanting to stay true to her name.
"Yes," I answered, stroking her silky black hair absentmindedly, "yes, I am sure." With that said, she buried her head into my chest, crying her heart out.
Half an hour later, San Cai had drifted off into sleep in my arms. I gently set her in her bed, and set off to find a donor, so she may see the world again, so she maybe happy again.
::Flashback::
I only want to be steadfast about you,
No matter what it takes,
::Flashback::
"I'm sorry," said an employee at the donation center, "Most people do not donate their corneas, and when they do it is usually reserved for their friends or family."
I sighed in despair, "So there is absolutely no chance in finding one in three days?"
She smiled sympathetically, "Maybe you should try another center." I nodded and turned to leave.
By the end of the second day, I had gone to almost all the donation centers in Taiwan, but as luck would have it, they all said the same thing as the first center. I returned to San Cai's hospital room dejectedly, threw myself onto the sofa, and fell asleep.
::Flashback::
I'll be staying right here,
Oh, you may use anyway you like,
You may make any requests,
I'm still steadfast about you,
No matter what it takes,
I'll be staying right here,
::Flashback::
It was the third day, the last day and last hope for San Cai's eyesight. I glanced at her perfect face; well, other than her eyes for they were swollen and red from crying.
I knew what I had to do. I pressed my lips against her forehead, softly as to nat wake her up. I walked towards the doo, and took one last look at her, before heading to the donation center, once again.
"May have an application to be a donor?" I asked courageously. The employee nodded, and handed me a stack of papers. Readin through the contract, I gasped at the final sentence.
I, , will donate my cornea to - when I am no longer living. I slowly signed it, my hand trembling nervously.
::Flashback::
If you return one day,
No words need to be spoken,
Just silently sitting by my side,
And let the breeze blow by through our shoulders,
Remember all the memories of San Cai, my lips curled into a thin, wistful smile. Yes, that's what I was, her guardian angel. Then I slowly loosened my hands from the steering wheel, closing my eyes.
San Cai's POV
I couldn't believe it; I got a transplant! I would be able to see the world again, enjoy the beauty of the world again! My eyes were fully healed; I could see again!
"San Cai," exclaimed a voice, and before I knew it, I was in Dao Ming Si's embrace, " I missed you so much!" He smiled playfully, "Did you miss me?" I didn't know what to say, for I didn't miss him. Instead I asked curiously, "Where's Lei?" for I wanted to thank him for all he had done for me.
He frowned, "I don't know. You just saw me for the first time in a few months, and this is how I am greeted?"
I snort; he hasn't changed at all.
"What are you snorting at, stupid woman?" demanded Dao Ming Si.
Sometimes I really wonder why I love him. Do my feelings still remain unchanged? Do I still feel warmth in his embrace? Does my heart still beat wildly when I see him come towards me? Do I still feel safe an protected when holding his hand?
No, I thought, I don't. What should I do? I did the only thing I could, run home.
"Wha-Where are you going?" asked Dao Ming Si, confused at my actions.
Walking past my mailbox, I notice a letter sticking out of it. I pulled it out curiously, wondering who it was from. Reading the fancy calligraphy, I find out the sender of the letter, Lei. I excitedly unfold the letter;
Dear San Cai,
By the time you have read this letter with your very own eyes, I am no longer part of this world. How did I know you have gotten a transplant? I donated mine to you. Now we can see the world together through the same pair of eyes.
I gasped. It was Lei who had donated his cornea? He was no longer in this world? No, this couldn't be. Just a few weeks ago he had been with me. A tear stained the letter.
San cai, there is something I must tell you. Something I have always wanted to say, but never said; I love you. I loved you ever since I first saw you stand up to Ah Si; how is he? Please help me take care of him.
Another tear slid down my face, creating a small splotch on the letter.
Please don't cry, I am not really gone. I am now in the sky, with the angels, watching over you.
Remember I love you,
Lei
Lei was gone just like that. His beautiful music. Gone. His rare smiles. Gone. His soothing voice. Gone. His occasional joking. Gone. His handsome face. Gone. His-
Click.
What was that? I wiped my tears clumsily, and crawled over to the origin of the sound.
A box of fireworks. It must have fallen out of Lei's envelope. I smiled; it was just like Lei to be so scrupulous.
I stepped out on the balcony, inhaling the fresh scent of nature. I struck a match against the stone wall, lighting the match. I carefully lit the fireworks and stepped back. Colorful fireworks adorned the sky, and I made a wish.
Suddenly a blinding light appeared in the sky. When the lights dimmed, I glanced nervously at it. The light suspended a cloud and on top of the cloud stood an angel. The angel was dressed in a white overcoat, with a white turtleneck, and cargo pants underneath. The angel turned around and smiled at me, "So this is what you wished for; to see me one more time."
I gasped in recognization, "L-Lei?"
He bowed, "At your service. Did you not believe I would always be there for you?" I didn't know what to say, and instead climbed on the rail of the balcony, causing him to immediately glide towards me, "What are you doing? You could get hurt!"
I clutched onto his shoulders, my heart racing, because of the short distance that separated us.
"I love you," he whispered, and brought his lips to mine tenderly.
That's when I realized it. I loved him.
I took a deep breath, and finally pulled the thought from my heart to my mouth, "I love you too."
I'll never forget that memorable night. The night I realized how lucky I was to have Lei. Lei, my guardian angel in the sky always watching over me, protecting me. My guardian angel who loved me with all his heart. My guardian angel, I loved with all my heart.
