This is one of my older pieces but still a fave. Some parts are silly, and some are sappy as usual. This fic is home to Denial!Syaoran and Drunken-Karaoke!Eriol.
*CCS and anything related does not belong to me and it never will damn it!*
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Confessions
By: Nanashi
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"Syaoran-kun Syaorannnnn! Ohayoooooo"
I stuck my head out of my window slightly dazed but awake. Rubbing my eyes I peered down in the direction of the noise. Finally bringing them into focus, I noticed it was Sakura. She was hopping up and down excitedly and holding something in her hands.
"What is it? It's so early in the morning, Sakura" I yawned.
She stuck her hand out in the air towards me.
"It's an invitation for you!" she said.
"For me? What for?"
"Eriol is throwing an anniversary party, for the first time I became a Card Captor!"
She sounded so excited. Even though the prospect of having to see Eriol again made me somewhat edgy, I no longer despised him like before. I knew he had Kaho and I no longer worried over Sakura. It's been more than a year and a half since Sakura sealed the void card. We had gotten together at the time, but broke apart shortly there after. Why? well it was mostly my fault. It was one of those days where everything was going wrong. That night some animals escaped from a park so we decided to check out the situation. It was there, after I got knocked down by some creature and she used her cards to finish the job, that I realized how useless I really was.
For the first time in a long time, I got jealous of her and her power. It's true I thought I loved her, but, that day I had reverted back to the old Syaoran. The Syaoran who wanted so desperately to be the chosen one. After all it's not like I didn't have the right to. I was Clow's descendant. I had made the study of magic my whole life. And all of a sudden this girl comes in out of nowhere and through her luck, and support of others, she becomes the new mistress of the cards.
Yes, I was jealous. It was pitiful of me, and quite a shame that jealousy would overcome love. At that moment it wasn't love I was feeling anymore. She tried to comfort me but I was being too stubborn. I lashed out at her, telling her things I had meant to say for a long time and sent her off crying. Since that day, we have never again mentioned our relationship. So I can only guess that we broke up? Either way we are still friends, thanks to Tomoyo, but I can never forgive myself for being so cruel to her. I don't want to put her through that again, it's inevitable it will happen if we chose to get back together, so I have decided on my part, that it's best to leave things as they are. I think she feels the same way. After all friendships can hold stronger bonds than love...right?
Either way, there she was. I didn't know whether to be happy for her party or not. After all it was in honor of something that should have been mine alone. It should be my party, if only I hadn't given it all up for her a long time ago. But that was a choice I made, and it was too late to take it all back or to contest her. After all, it made her so happy, I guess I should be happy for her. It was time I got over it right? So I smiled and nodded telling her I was coming right down. I threw on a shirt and some slippers as I made my way to the front door. I was greeted by the biggest smile in the world so I couldn't help but smile back. She handed the letter to me.
"I really do hope you can make it, Syaoran! Please say you'll come!?" she beamed.
I took the card in my hand.
"I wouldn't miss it." I stated.
She smiled giving me a cheerful wave as she skipped off to continue her rounds. I decided to open up the card and read the details. It seems Eriol came back to Japan for this occasion. The party would take place in another one of Clow's numerous Villa's. It's been a while since I have seen him, I wonder how he and Kaho are doing? I put the thought behind me as I continued reading the invitation. It was to be held tomorrow in the late afternoon. I closed the card back up and headed to my room. If it was tomorrow, I might as well go shopping today to get something to bring to the party right? So I hopped in the bath to start my day off fresh. When I finally finished grooming myself I picked out a light outfit, suitable for this hot weather. Running downstairs I stopped just in time to eat the breakfast Wei had just prepared. I hogged it down and told him I would be back a little later.
It really wasn't the best day to go for a walk. The scalding sun was starting to get to me. I decided to stop by an ice-cream shop and sit down under the shade of their tables outside. A soft breeze blew by as I ate my popsicle. The streets were active with the sounds of cars and people walking to wherever it was they were going to. I sat back relaxing a bit to think of what it was exactly that I should get. And then, I saw them. Walking out from the cake shop next to me was Eriol with Kaho and Nakuru.
Nakuru was skipping along happily holding some shopping bags followed by Kaho who held a box in her hand. Probably cake. At the rear of the pack was Eriol. His face seemed slightly downcast as Kaho and Nakuru chatted cheerfully. That was odd, he was usually the insanely smiling one. He stopped almost as if a reflex and looked in my direction. I turned my head casually in the other direction trying to hide myself from his view as inconspicuously as possible. But as always Eriol was too keen for that.
"Li-kun!" he exclaimed waving happily.
Kaho and Nakuru turned at his sudden outburst. His smile returned to him as he made his way over to where I was sitting. I sweat dropped as I turned to him and his crew.
"H..hello" I stuttered.
He stopped beside me, "What a coincidence we'd see you here." he chirped.
"Yeah well, I got your invitation, so I figured I would bring something to the party." I muttered.
Kaho and Nakuru greeted me also, "It's nice to see you again Li-kun" smiled Kaho.
I forced a replying smile from myself. I still didn't like that woman much, even after everything.
Nakuru waved happily before a sale down the street caught her eye. She screeched excitedly pulling Kaho along with her. Kaho excused herself and told Eriol she would meet him at the house later. He agreed and took a seat across from me. Great..just great.
"It's been a long time Li-kun" he smiled as he rested his head on his hands.
I shifted in my chair.
"Umm..yeah".
He tilted his head slightly, "It's odd, sometimes I get the feeling you still don't like me very much."
"It..it's not that."
"Well, Sakura is the only one who writes to me back in England. It's how I keep in touch with what's going on in Japan"
"So did she tell you?"
Eriol reached a hand to my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"Yes, she did. I'm sorry about that Syaoran. I wish I had predicted all of this. But my new life is, keeping me busy." he sighed.
I couldn't help but notice the tone of sorrow in his voice. But was it only because of my failed relationship? or was it something else I didn't know about. I realized Eriol and I have never really talked about anything together. I was always too jealous to see him as a person. Possibly a friend. I smiled for once and it seemed to catch him by surprise as he withdrew his hand.
"It's OK, really..Sakura and I are still friends."
"That's great to hear, so then you really are coming to the party tomorrow then?"
"Like I said, it's what I came out here to do."
"You don't really need to bring anything but yourself."
"I feel I owe her at least some show of appreciation. I admit, this place wouldn't be the same without her watching over it." I said trying to sound as normal as possible.
Eriol caught the slight waver in my voice as his gaze on me became sharper.
"You know, you still are one of the best sorcerer's yet. You have a lot of promise, after all you carry my blood." he spoke softly but proudly as he pushed aside a set of bangs.
"I believe in you Li-kun, don't give up on yourself, you will become something great someday."
I appreciated the encouragement, "Thank you Eriol, and please..call me Syaoran."
His eyes softened as a weird connection between us was made at that moment. I could feel our hearts beating in synch for the first time. Eriol presented his hand, and I shook it. A slight blush creeped onto my cheeks.
"Thank you, Syaoran." he whispered.
I took a look at the setting sun. "I forgot I still have some things to get.."
"Do you mind if I come with you? I..don't need to be anywhere right now." he said as calmly as possible.
And yet I thought he would have wanted to go home. So I shrugged and decided it would not be such a bad idea to have some company.
Our first stop was at a suit store. Being a posh-type of party, I decided I really should get a new tie to go along with my outfit. Eriol asked me what color my suit was and helped me pick out a burgundy silk one. He had excellent taste, I was impressed. So after modeling the new tie out for him and finally buying it, we were off to another shop. I still had no idea what to bring. We took a walk down the busy street to see if anything caught my eye. A wine store? That would be classy. Yes, wine was a good idea. After all what's a party without wine? The more the merrier right? So we went in and picked out a good brand. Surprisingly, it didn't kill my budget any and Eriol was pleased with my choice. It was getting late and we hadn't yet eaten anything so we stopped by a café for a quick bite. He offered to pay for both our meals. We sat down to chat, catching up on everything. Then we got to the subject of love. I think we were both a little reluctant to talk too deeply into the subject. I wonder why? At one point he shyly asked me if I had found anyone yet. I admit I was quite surprised at this question and as I thought deeply about it my heart began to pound. It was a strange distant feeling, but it only lasted a moment as I shook my head in response. Then I asked him about Kaho and he shifted uncomfortably.
"We're..fine.." he sighed.
Then he checked his watch.
"Regretfully I must get going, the ladies are probably waiting for me at home right now. But if you feel that there is anything you wish to speak to me about, please know that I am here for you. See you tomorrow." and with that he gave a last flicker of his hand as he turned to leave.
I finished my tea and reflected on our afternoon together. I was glad I could talk to him. I never really got along with any of the guys around here. Yukito was really nice but I still blush around him sometimes so I can never really hold a full conversation. Touya was..well the same old Touya. Yamazaki was too into Chiharu. But here was Eriol, like the embodiment of Clow, the one person I had looked up to for so long. It was about time to bury the hatchet and perhaps learn more from him. I would definitely try to get to know him more at the party tomorrow. I stretched out a bit. It was about time I got on my way too.
Entering the house Wei informed me that Tomoyo had called. He asked me if I was hungry and I told him I already ate.
"Was it with miss Sakura?" he inquired.
I was curious as to why he thought so, "Actually no, it wasn't..why do you ask?"
He shrugged slightly, "I haven't seen you so energetic in a long time, the color in your cheeks has returned, I just assumed..." then he turned to continue his duties.
I bolted up to my room and gazed at myself in the mirror. Was it really true? I touched my face inspecting it curiously. I didn't look any different, was Wei just pulling my leg? Either way I decided I might as well call Tomoyo and see what she wanted.
"Moshi moshi?" answered her soft voice.
"Tomoyo, hello. Wei said you called me today?"
"Li-kun! Yes I did, where were you?"
"I went out to get something for the party tomorrow."
"Oh, so then you are coming! Great! Did you get a new tie too?"
"Yeah, Eriol helped me pick one out."
"Eriol?"
"Yes..."
Everything suddenly seemed to get quiet. Then she spoke again, a little more hesitantly.
"So..how is he?"
"He's fine.."
"Fine? as in feeling or looking?" she giggled.
"What?!"
"Never mind, so what did you two do?"
I really didn't like the amused tone in her voice, but I decided not to accuse her of anything yet and just answer her questions truthfully. After all I had nothing to hide.
"Well Kaho and Nakuru headed off to shop somewhere and he decided to help me pick out my last minute things. So we got my tie and then bought some wine for the party tomorrow. Then we went to a cafe to get something to eat and talk a bit."
"So..you went on a date then?"
"Date..DATE?! Tomoyo! just what are you saying?"
"Well..did he pay for the meal?"
"Yes, but.."
"Mmm..hmmm"
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! You know you really are reading too much into this. We didn't do anything. I can't believe you would say that.." I started rambling my head off until she interrupted me.
"Woah, woah..slow down! Syaoran, I was just kidding. You really bit my head off that time. I was only teasing, don't take it seriously. I'm glad you two are on good terms now."
I seriously sweatdropped and felt my face grow hot. I clutched my chest to feel my heart slow down back to it's regular pace as I gasped briefly for air. How embarrassing. I really overreacted that time.
"S-sorry about that."
"I haven't seen you overreact like that since the 'confession' days."
"Confession?"
"Yes, remember? trying to confess to Sakura? Boy you really have your mind somewhere else." she giggled.
"Oh, yeah yeah, right..confession."
"Hmmm.. is there anything you need to tell me?" she cooed.
I nearly dropped the phone.
"Wha..what?! T-Tomoyo.. listen I gotta go."
"Wait, Li-kun how are you getting to the party tomorrow?"
"I'm walking, it's not far. I really gotta go."
"Okay okay, I'll see you tomorrow then." she said before I hung up.
I fell backwards onto my bed, wiping at my forehead before I let my arms hang off the side. What was that about? I let my breath calm down as I stared at the ceiling. What..was happening to me? I touched my shoulder where Eriol had placed his hand before and there was a momentary flash back to his soft eyes. I jumped at the thought as I threw my pillow over my face. I just wanted to hide, I didn't want to think about any of this. Why was I even sweating it? right? It's nothing. Just Clow's lasting impression, yeah that's what it was. Nothing to worry about. Sleep soon ended my constant questioning.
Ok! so I lied, I hardly got a drop of rest last night. I was in and out of sleep the whole time and found myself tossing and turning. I crawled out of the bath as I hauled myself up to my bathroom mirror. I proceeded to finish the rest of my daily grooming habits, but the circles under these eyes certainly weren't attractive. I fought against the urge to slip back into bed and sleep for a while more. I was terribly hungry and chose to stumble downstairs and eat breakfast. Once the food was placed in front of me I realized I wasn't hungry all of a sudden.
"You have to eat something master Shaolan" rebuked Wei from the kitchen, but I resulted to jabbing at my food with my fork.
He reappeared before me with some juice in hand.
"Really, master Shaolan, something tells me you didn't get much sleep last night." he insinuated.
Well that was enough to jerk me out of my grogginess.
"W-what do you mean? I'm fine, just a little tired that's all."
"Is that so, then why is it you wont eat either? This hasn't happened since..well never mind" he stopped himself short taking my plate away.
I eyed him curiously ready to object but instead grabbed the drink and headed back up to my room.
I stepped out into the balcony of my room, taking in the fresh air. I was wide awake now, but feeling very pensive. It's only started recently. I don't mean to act any differently than normal, I don't really feel different, but everyone else seems to think so. What was really going on then? I took a few chugs from my can of juice, finally crushing it when empty. Turning back into my room I noticed the invitation on my desk. I picked it up inspecting it over again. I could feel his aura on it. I could almost see him writing it. I opened the card again. He had nice hand writing, almost as if some fancy calligraphy. I wonder if they taught that sort of thing back in England. I wonder if he would teach me. Teach me?! What was I thinking? Well, Ok before I wanted to learn from him, but now..wait why am I freaking out? It's no different from before. I still want to learn from him, nothing wrong with that. It's just..well now people had me thinking..and I've been feeling..Aw forget this! I shot a glance at the clock. I still had plenty of time before the party so, I might as well go take a walk, just keep my mind off of everything. It was all just too confusing right now.
I flung some clothes on and ran to the park. On the way couples were taking a stroll together or holding hands. Some of them kissing in the corners. Was this all fate's evil way of messing with my head? I shot my view to the floor as I walked faster towards the park. I needed to get away from all this. I sat on a swing slowly rocking myself as the words everyone had said the previous day played back in my head. Tomoyo's amused teasing tone, Wei's scrupulous insinuations..Eriol's smile. There I go again! I threw my head back hanging off the edge of the swing when a familiar smiling face loomed over me. I shot back up into a sitting position as I realized it was Yukito.
He held a shopping bag in one of his arms.
"Hi there! Long time no see, Li-kun. Who would have thought I'd see you here." he said flashing his sweetest smile.
I blushed.
"H-hi Yukito-san, it's nice to see you too. What are you doing here?"
He took a seat on the swing next to me and let his legs stretch out.
"Just went shopping for a few things before the party tonight."
He dug around his bag and pulled out a mocchi asking me if I wanted one. I told him I wasn't hungry as politely as possible. He looked a bit shocked for a moment then resumed to eating his pastry.
"So are you coming to the party too?" he finally asked me.
I wrung my hands slightly.
"Yes.." that came out a little more strained than I had meant it to and he seemed to notice.
"That's great, I wouldn't miss out on it for anything. I'm sure Sakura-chan will be very happy, she deserves this party after everything. I will be very happy to see her again. Since things around here are calm now I haven't had the chance to see much of her lately no matter how many times I go to Touya's house."
"Oh..that's too bad." I uttered.
He smiled.
"It's nice of Eriol to throw her this party. Yue will be very pleased to see him again."
My attention was immediately caught at the sound of his name, but I played it off.
"Yue? oh..yes. Sometimes I forget Eriol is Clow's reincarnation."
Yukito took a longing gaze at the sky.
"It's odd you know, I'm happy with To-ya, he is everything I have ever wanted. But when it comes to Yue..I notice that his heart beats at the mention of Clow. I can sense that Yue had a very special bond with him in the past. It feels about as special as the bond between To-ya and I. I wonder, when he looks at Eriol, if he feels the same way about the boy. What does Eriol feel when he sees Yue?"
"The.. same way..?"
I hung my head a bit as I clutched at the sides of the swing. So Yue still feels for Clow..who is now Eriol. Would Yue and I become rivals? Rivals!? What's wrong with me! Besides Yue cares for Touya I'm sure. Wait? why was I debating this in the first place? I shook my head violently trying to erase these thoughts from my mind.
"Something wrong?" asked Yukito with a mildly concerned look.
"It's nothing..I was just thinking that, I'm sure that the part of Eriol with Clow's heart misses Yue. But I also think that Yue cares for Touya as much as you do, so you shouldn't doubt anything. At the same time I don't think Yue will ever forget Clow or give up his feelings for him completely. Eriol might be a good comfort to Yue in that aspect."
"You really like him a lot too don't you?" he smiled.
I nearly jumped off the swing and turned heel, but instead I backed up slightly as if to shield myself from his words. They were the same words I had heard from him so long ago.
"I..I don't understand. Why?.." I stuttered trying to confront him.
"Li-kun, you really are a kind person. I know it. But you have always tried to hide your feelings. Even in the past when you were pursuing Sakura-chan, I remember your reactions so you don't fool me. Having a side of me that loved Clow, I can see through to your heart and know it beats at the same pace as Yue's does when his name is mentioned. Am I right? You do care for him. We share the same feelings deep down, only for Yue it is the memory of Clow he loves, for you..it's Eriol."
I slumped back into the swing and sighed. I guess I couldn't fight it anymore. I couldn't hide from Yukito/Yue who was aware of all things Clow, more than anyone else. I might as well wake up to the reality that it was more than admiration I was feeling for, not Clow, but Eriol. I had worshipped Clow for so long, made his legacy my life, and now I had fallen for the boy who possessed his soul. One afternoon had changed everything I held as real. Everything just.. changed. Yukito and I sat in silence for what seemed like hours. I suppose we were both reflecting on what happens next.
"Are you going to tell him?" he asked finally.
"I can't..."
"What you can't do is lie to yourself forever. I did the same you know. I put off telling Touya how I really felt about him for a long time. His sister knew even before he did. All along, I knew he cared for me but I was too scared to ruin everything between us. But you are luckier. There is nothing for you to ruin right now, because you don't have a past with him. Whatever happens from here on can only build your relationship with him, not break it. Have confidence in yourself."
"But he has Kaho..who am I to interfere in their relationship?"
"Are you sure about that? When did you see him last?"
"Yesterday.."
"Who did he spend most of his time with, just think back. Was he any different when he was around you?"
I thought back to our day together. It was true. He offered to spend the day with me, and earlier..his smile. His smile returned when he was around me. It was different! I grinned as it all came into place.
"How did you.." I began to ask him but he shook his head.
"I just know.." he said before standing up, "I have to get going, but I will see you at the party later today ok?"
"Yes, thank you for everything Yukito-san" I really did appreciate it.
"It's no problem" he turned to leave but stopped for a moment, "oh, and ganbare ne!" he whispered giving me a last wink as he headed off.
The party! that's right! I really should get back and start getting ready myself. It was going to be an interesting night.
~*~
I turned left and right in front of my reflection making sure everything was adjusted properly. I pulled on my tie one last time and took one more run of the comb through my hair. I had to look just perfect. Maybe I was going a little too overboard to be as impressive as possible but just in case..I shot one more pass of the cologne. Finally satisfied I took my gift and bounded out of the house and on route to Eriol's mansion. Walking down the street I kept myself busy sorting out all the possible things that could go wrong that night and how I could resolve them. I hardly noticed the taxi pulling up beside me. The back window slid down as Yukito's head popped out and greeted me. He caught me off guard as I scrambled to keep the wine from smashing to the floor. He laughed and asked if I needed a lift, so I climbed in. I shut the door behind me and shifted next to him as the Taxi continued on it's course.
"Well this is the second time we meet today!" he chirped.
"Thank you for the lift, but..where is Touya?" I asked curiously.
"He called me and said he would be getting off of work a little later today so he told me not to wait up for him. So here I am." he responded.
"I see.."
"And I see a very handsome young man sitting next to me! My, you are all dolled up aren't you!?" he said smiling as I blushed furiously, "Eriol wont be able to resist."
"Yukito-saaaan!" his warm compliments were only increasing my blush, "Thank you, that's very nice of you to say that."
And he giggled.
"Just relax and be yourself, you'll be all right."
"I don't know though.."
"No going back now Li-kun, because, here we are." He said pointing to the approaching mansion.
I could feel myself tense up as my grip on the wine bottle tightened. Yuki grinned. We exited the Taxi and Yukito paid the driver. I waited for him and we finally made our way up the steps of the mansion and to the front door. He gave my shoulders a slight squeeze before knocking.
Kaho answered the door. That woman...no I wasn't jealous, really! She greeted us and led us in the house. A few people were already there. I recognized the kids from school and also some grown ups. A lot of people who really appreciated Sakura came, and by now her Card Captor secret wasn't so much of a secret anymore to those that were close to her. Tomoyo gave me a wave and a sly smile from across the room. Yamazaki was huddled by a few people as he told his usual stories. Everyone was so glammed up. I would have never imagined half of them wearing fancy suits or dresses. But where was Eriol? Yukito and I headed straight for the food table. I set my wine bottle down and watched as Yuki devoured some hor d'ouvres. Then I felt an arm reach around me and pick up the wine bottle.
"Nice choice..Syaoran" I turned in time to see Eriol.
I was stunned by his presence in that charming ensemble of his. In other words, he looked incredible. My heart began to race. But before I could say anything a great commotion was heard by the doorway. The guest of honor had arrived along with her brother, and Eriol rushed to greet her.
Sakura promptly made her way towards me and threw her arms around me thanking me for coming. I didn't know what to do. Old emotions pulled at my strings as she smiled at me with her big emerald eyes. Maybe my thing for Eriol was only a momentary crush? Maybe I really did belong with Sakura. But I caught a glimpse of his face from across the room, eyeing us intently. There was a hint of pain in those lavender orbs of his. And my being melted into them as I realized I couldn't doubt my feelings for him. He turned and took his place on a platform, grabbing a mic and starting the celebration. He announced Sakura's arrival to everyone, made opening statements as the host of the party, and brought in the orchestra which would be playing the music we would be dancing to throughout the night.
And the music began to play. Sakura asked me if I would dance the first dance with her. I couldn't deny her request, after all it was her party. So we danced and everything was going fine until I noticed Kaho and Eriol dancing as well. I don't know if my eyes turned green at that moment because pure jealousy poured from them as I saw the way she held him. But I also noticed, he was not enjoying himself as much as she was. I should have been paying more attention to my own status because Sakura had somehow laid her head on my shoulder. I shot my eyes from side to side nervously, not sure of what to do, until they rested on Tomoyo's longing face from across the room. She held her hands clasped together as she stood against that wall, her eyes large and glistening below the light of the chandelier. Poor Tomoyo. I know she wished she was in my place. I don't know if it was a subconscious decision but somehow I backed up into a waiter and spilled some water on myself. It was the prefect distraction though as Sakura and I broke apart. I excused myself from our dance as I grabbed a napkin and briskly soaked up the water. I couldn't handle more of the sights around me so I headed for the outdoor balcony.
It was a crisp dark night, with the beautiful view of the city lights beyond. But something else also caught my eye. On the far right corner of the terrace, Yukito and Touya were cuddling. I know I shouldn't have stared but, I couldn't help it. They both looked so happy together and completely comfortable in each other's arms. I really wanted something like that. I poked my head back into the party to see how things were going. Yamazaki and Chiharu were holding hands a short distance away from me. Kaho and Nakuru were chatting and Sakura had resorted to dancing with Eriol now. This night was not going the way I had planned. I thought Eriol and I would get some time to ourselves so I could..tell him. I shuffled over to the far left corner of the terrace away from the couple on the other side. I sighed at the view and starless night as the music inside came to a short stop. A new song commenced and I listened to the waltz that played.
"Isn't that the same song that both you and Sakura-san danced to for that Romeo and Juliet type play?"
I whirled around at the voice in time to find Eriol standing with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle in the other.
He smiled at me.
"How did you know about the play?"
He walked up beside me.
"It's a beautiful song, the first time she tried to tell you her feelings actually." He said handing me a glass.
I was more or less speechless.
"She wrote me about it." he winked.
What exactly was he trying to say bringing up the past and all. I stood pensively for a moment handling my glass. I was too timid to look into his face. Eriol always had a hidden motive for something.
"So this is where you've been hiding?" he mused looking at the view.
"I wasn't hiding, just taking a breather, that's all." I noticed the bottle in his hand.
"That's the wine I brought.." I pointed.
He flashed a sly smile.
"I snuck it out, just for the two of us." and with that he popped the cork.
"A toast." he said pouring us both a glass.
"To what?" I asked.
"To everything"
"And what's everything?"
"To Sakura the mistress of the Cards, to Clow for innumerable things, to the sun and moon for their light and power, and most of all to you Syaoran, my descendant..my blood"
I tightened my hold on the glass as I built up the courage to say what was on my mind.
"And..to our newfound friendship" I said softly.
Eriol's expression grew softer as his eyes wavered by the lights of Tomoeda.
"Yes..to that too."; and we both downed our drink.
It threw us into a fit of laughter for some reason, that was soon interrupted by Nakuru's call. She said a few more people had arrived so Eriol excused himself hesitantly before leaving to greet the newcomers. This certainly wasn't the night to bond was it? I decided to head in as well and get a bite to eat. I found Tomoyo also serving herself.
"Having a good time?" I dared to ask her.
She forced out a smile.
"Sakura-chan is very happy...so I am also happy."
But I knew that something was killing her inside.
"Oh, by the way she wants to talk to you."
"About what?"
"You're guess is as good as mine." she said before turning to leave.
I think Tomoyo knew more than she let on. And that's when she found me.
"Syaoran-kun, can I talk to you for a second?" pleaded Sakura.
"S-sure.." I stuttered as she led me outside.
The girl turned away from me and began pacing as if she was trying to gather up courage for something. I grew nervous with anticipation. She finally stood facing me firmly and reached out for my hand.
"Syaoran-kun..I know things between us haven't been the same since we broke apart. But I feel that we have become good enough of friends lately. So..I think..I can finally ask you.." she said before taking in a deep breath and continuing, "Do you.."
I gulped.
"Do you.."
I closed my eyes.
"..think Tomoyo likes me?"
I fell over.
"Wh-what!?" I blurted out astonished at her question.
"Well I think we have a deep trust with each other by now, and it took me all night to build up the courage to ask you for advice. You are the only other person who knows her well enough besides me."
I grabbed her shoulders tightly much to her surprise.
"You mean to tell me you are after Tomoyo?" I laughed.
She blinked "Is that wrong? Are you Ok? Syaoran?"
"No, this is a big relief!? I thought..well when we were dancing, you rested your head.."
"Oh..that" she blushed, "I was..sneaking peeks..but"
She continued "She looked so sad at one point, I really wasn't planning on saying anything tonight but, when I saw her that way..I just had to do something, had to know.."
I held my forehead in astonishment, half speechless.
She shrugged shyly, "So..what do you think?"
So we sat down and had a nice long chat. After a while we came to the conclusion that Tomoyo had loved her for a very long time and Sakura slapped her forehead amazed at how blind she had been the whole time. She thanked me for all the great advice before leaving my side to find her true love. Who would have known she had been harboring feelings for her friend recently. Speaking of true love, where was Eriol? I strolled back into the main room only to find Sakura leading an ecstatic Tomoyo off somewhere. I was happy for them. But the moment was cut suddenly when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Syaoran-kun.." said Yukito with a rather alarmed voice, "I think you better find Eriol quick."
"What's wrong?"
"I think he had too much to drink and is trying to karaoke to classical music in the next room." he said sweat-dropping.
I knew that meant trouble, Eriol was a calm and composed prankster in his normal state. But in a drunken state who knew what kinds of things he would do. I thanked Yukito for the tip and darted off to find him. And there he was, swaying to the music trying to sing a love song of some sort. He was surrounded and aided by other guests who had a bit too much to drink themselves and thought him the best performer. I was almost too embarrassed to say I knew the guy. But in I went like the hero of some fairy-tale to rescue his princess..err prince? I took the microphone from him, despite the many hisses and boo's from the crowd, and announced that Eriol was taking a short recess to let someone else sing. There was no shortage of participants as someone else took his place to make a fool of themselves. The festivities began again as I dragged him out to get some air.
Finally outside I let him hang over the balcony slightly so he could gulp in some fresh air. This was definitely not the way I had planned my evening. He picked himself up momentarily before slouching against my shoulders and clinging to my sleeve.
"I'm so sorry about this Syao-chan, I don't mean to be a burden on you. I usually don't get like this." he said, although this was my translation of his slightly slurred speech.
"I don't know what came over me, I should have taken it a little easier, oh BTW you're bottle is gone my friend." he giggled.
Wait a minute..did I miss something or did he just call me 'Syao-chan'? I grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly to get his attention and stop his giggling. Looking him squarely in the eyes I asked him.
"Syao-chan? Did you just call me Syao-chan?"
He seemed surprised at my question. He held his chin as he pretended to think deeply. Then he laughed and shot forward until my nose was almost touching his. He seemed to relax finally realizing how close he was to me.
"Of course..I did, does that bother you..Syao-chan?" he asked, his voice grown slightly deeper.
I turned crimson realizing that the glint in his eyes meant business.
"N-n-no..not really"
He smiled coyly and wrapped his arms around me nearly losing his balance and pushing me back under his weight.
"I never had the courage to tell you this before, but better now than never. You look absolutely gorgeous in that suit." he gave my tie a slight tug.
"I bet you look even better with nothing on too!" he giggled, "And to make things worse..you have an incredibly cute bum!" he laughed.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What the hell was a 'bum' anyway? He pressed closer to me.
"You mean to tell me you..you..like me?" I gulped.
"It's love baby.." he said in English.
Was this heaven or hell? Is this what I had wanted to hear all along? I wasn't sure anymore. If anything I was growing angry. This wasn't the way I had pictured declaring my love for him and vice versa.
"You don't mean any of it.." I growled pushing him off me lightly, "you're only saying this because you're drunk!"
"Am I?" he said fixing his eyes intently on me with such accuracy it was frightening.
Then he leaned in pressing his lips firmly over my own.
I couldn't believe this was happening. My heart pounded out of control. It was happening, it was really happening. I tried to back up but he tightened his grip on me and continued his assault. I admit..I really liked it and decided I couldn't fight against it. It was futile. So I surrendered to his hungry kisses as he continued groping me. I could taste the wine on his soft lips and caught the aroma in his heavy breath. I was enjoying every minute of it and yet at the same time worried over someone finding us. There would be no way to explain why we were necking at Sakura's party. Worse yet, why we were making-out in the first place. I never thought Eriol a wild one until now. Was he normally like this? Maybe this whole 'drunken Eriol' phase was a blessing after all. Whatever it was I was on cloud nine, until he broke it all off. He suddenly turned very gentle as he brought his hand up to my cheek and his eyes dimmed softly. A far cry from the greedy, lusty Eriol of before.
His voice also softened as he spoke "I've been meaning to tell you that..for a long time."
He leaned in once more to place a light kiss on my forehead before slumping against me. The boy passed out.
I picked him up as much as I could and hauled him past the party and to the halls of the house. Yukito came jogging up to us to ask if everything was ok. I told him Eriol had a long night and needed some rest. Yukito said he would cover for him. I was very grateful to him. He had been a great help to me all day. I wonder what it was? Perhaps he saw promise in the two of us, a chibi version of Touya and himself? Or was this Yue's way of letting go of Clow? I don't know, whatever it was, I was thankful to it. But Eriol sure was heavier than he looked!
I continued down the halls and into the rooms. There were so many that I just picked one and headed on in. It looked like a study. It was a large room. The walls were loaded from floor to ceiling with books. A large desk sat on one end of the study. Behind it were huge windows with a lovely view that let a soft light into the room. The place was also adorned with vases and a single large couch by the windows. I decided to place him there. I stood back a moment gazing at his lovely delicate features. The way the light danced on the angles of his body. I was hesitant to leave, but my absence at the party would not go unnoticed, besides I should notify some people of Eriol's whereabouts. I turned to leave but my hand had hardly touched the handle of the door when I saw him lift his head from the corner of my eye.
"Stay.." he whispered.
"I can't" I replied.
I tried not to turn around, I know if I looked into his eyes I would not be able to leave.
"Syaoran..stay.." he beckoned.
Ok..so I turned around, sue me! I sat next to him as his arms reached up towards me. He held my face in his hands as I smiled warmly at him.
"Feeling better?" I asked.
"Now that you're here..yes.." he cooed.
I leaned down to kiss him, I couldn't resist damn it.
He smiled.
"Will you stay with me then?" I nodded as he brought my body level with his.
I rested my head on his chest and he caressed my hair. Had I ever felt happier?..right now I really couldn't think. His touch was so relaxing it threatened to put me to sleep right then and there.
"Eriol..what about the others?" I asked in my usual over-worrying.
"What about them?" He always had a simple answer to everything.
"Let's worry about that..tomorrow.." he said winking as I got an idea of what that meant.
"Yeah..tonight..let's worry about, us." I agreed.
*hic*
and we laughed..
~ Owari
*CCS and anything related does not belong to me and it never will damn it!*
---------------
Confessions
By: Nanashi
---------------
"Syaoran-kun Syaorannnnn! Ohayoooooo"
I stuck my head out of my window slightly dazed but awake. Rubbing my eyes I peered down in the direction of the noise. Finally bringing them into focus, I noticed it was Sakura. She was hopping up and down excitedly and holding something in her hands.
"What is it? It's so early in the morning, Sakura" I yawned.
She stuck her hand out in the air towards me.
"It's an invitation for you!" she said.
"For me? What for?"
"Eriol is throwing an anniversary party, for the first time I became a Card Captor!"
She sounded so excited. Even though the prospect of having to see Eriol again made me somewhat edgy, I no longer despised him like before. I knew he had Kaho and I no longer worried over Sakura. It's been more than a year and a half since Sakura sealed the void card. We had gotten together at the time, but broke apart shortly there after. Why? well it was mostly my fault. It was one of those days where everything was going wrong. That night some animals escaped from a park so we decided to check out the situation. It was there, after I got knocked down by some creature and she used her cards to finish the job, that I realized how useless I really was.
For the first time in a long time, I got jealous of her and her power. It's true I thought I loved her, but, that day I had reverted back to the old Syaoran. The Syaoran who wanted so desperately to be the chosen one. After all it's not like I didn't have the right to. I was Clow's descendant. I had made the study of magic my whole life. And all of a sudden this girl comes in out of nowhere and through her luck, and support of others, she becomes the new mistress of the cards.
Yes, I was jealous. It was pitiful of me, and quite a shame that jealousy would overcome love. At that moment it wasn't love I was feeling anymore. She tried to comfort me but I was being too stubborn. I lashed out at her, telling her things I had meant to say for a long time and sent her off crying. Since that day, we have never again mentioned our relationship. So I can only guess that we broke up? Either way we are still friends, thanks to Tomoyo, but I can never forgive myself for being so cruel to her. I don't want to put her through that again, it's inevitable it will happen if we chose to get back together, so I have decided on my part, that it's best to leave things as they are. I think she feels the same way. After all friendships can hold stronger bonds than love...right?
Either way, there she was. I didn't know whether to be happy for her party or not. After all it was in honor of something that should have been mine alone. It should be my party, if only I hadn't given it all up for her a long time ago. But that was a choice I made, and it was too late to take it all back or to contest her. After all, it made her so happy, I guess I should be happy for her. It was time I got over it right? So I smiled and nodded telling her I was coming right down. I threw on a shirt and some slippers as I made my way to the front door. I was greeted by the biggest smile in the world so I couldn't help but smile back. She handed the letter to me.
"I really do hope you can make it, Syaoran! Please say you'll come!?" she beamed.
I took the card in my hand.
"I wouldn't miss it." I stated.
She smiled giving me a cheerful wave as she skipped off to continue her rounds. I decided to open up the card and read the details. It seems Eriol came back to Japan for this occasion. The party would take place in another one of Clow's numerous Villa's. It's been a while since I have seen him, I wonder how he and Kaho are doing? I put the thought behind me as I continued reading the invitation. It was to be held tomorrow in the late afternoon. I closed the card back up and headed to my room. If it was tomorrow, I might as well go shopping today to get something to bring to the party right? So I hopped in the bath to start my day off fresh. When I finally finished grooming myself I picked out a light outfit, suitable for this hot weather. Running downstairs I stopped just in time to eat the breakfast Wei had just prepared. I hogged it down and told him I would be back a little later.
It really wasn't the best day to go for a walk. The scalding sun was starting to get to me. I decided to stop by an ice-cream shop and sit down under the shade of their tables outside. A soft breeze blew by as I ate my popsicle. The streets were active with the sounds of cars and people walking to wherever it was they were going to. I sat back relaxing a bit to think of what it was exactly that I should get. And then, I saw them. Walking out from the cake shop next to me was Eriol with Kaho and Nakuru.
Nakuru was skipping along happily holding some shopping bags followed by Kaho who held a box in her hand. Probably cake. At the rear of the pack was Eriol. His face seemed slightly downcast as Kaho and Nakuru chatted cheerfully. That was odd, he was usually the insanely smiling one. He stopped almost as if a reflex and looked in my direction. I turned my head casually in the other direction trying to hide myself from his view as inconspicuously as possible. But as always Eriol was too keen for that.
"Li-kun!" he exclaimed waving happily.
Kaho and Nakuru turned at his sudden outburst. His smile returned to him as he made his way over to where I was sitting. I sweat dropped as I turned to him and his crew.
"H..hello" I stuttered.
He stopped beside me, "What a coincidence we'd see you here." he chirped.
"Yeah well, I got your invitation, so I figured I would bring something to the party." I muttered.
Kaho and Nakuru greeted me also, "It's nice to see you again Li-kun" smiled Kaho.
I forced a replying smile from myself. I still didn't like that woman much, even after everything.
Nakuru waved happily before a sale down the street caught her eye. She screeched excitedly pulling Kaho along with her. Kaho excused herself and told Eriol she would meet him at the house later. He agreed and took a seat across from me. Great..just great.
"It's been a long time Li-kun" he smiled as he rested his head on his hands.
I shifted in my chair.
"Umm..yeah".
He tilted his head slightly, "It's odd, sometimes I get the feeling you still don't like me very much."
"It..it's not that."
"Well, Sakura is the only one who writes to me back in England. It's how I keep in touch with what's going on in Japan"
"So did she tell you?"
Eriol reached a hand to my shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
"Yes, she did. I'm sorry about that Syaoran. I wish I had predicted all of this. But my new life is, keeping me busy." he sighed.
I couldn't help but notice the tone of sorrow in his voice. But was it only because of my failed relationship? or was it something else I didn't know about. I realized Eriol and I have never really talked about anything together. I was always too jealous to see him as a person. Possibly a friend. I smiled for once and it seemed to catch him by surprise as he withdrew his hand.
"It's OK, really..Sakura and I are still friends."
"That's great to hear, so then you really are coming to the party tomorrow then?"
"Like I said, it's what I came out here to do."
"You don't really need to bring anything but yourself."
"I feel I owe her at least some show of appreciation. I admit, this place wouldn't be the same without her watching over it." I said trying to sound as normal as possible.
Eriol caught the slight waver in my voice as his gaze on me became sharper.
"You know, you still are one of the best sorcerer's yet. You have a lot of promise, after all you carry my blood." he spoke softly but proudly as he pushed aside a set of bangs.
"I believe in you Li-kun, don't give up on yourself, you will become something great someday."
I appreciated the encouragement, "Thank you Eriol, and please..call me Syaoran."
His eyes softened as a weird connection between us was made at that moment. I could feel our hearts beating in synch for the first time. Eriol presented his hand, and I shook it. A slight blush creeped onto my cheeks.
"Thank you, Syaoran." he whispered.
I took a look at the setting sun. "I forgot I still have some things to get.."
"Do you mind if I come with you? I..don't need to be anywhere right now." he said as calmly as possible.
And yet I thought he would have wanted to go home. So I shrugged and decided it would not be such a bad idea to have some company.
Our first stop was at a suit store. Being a posh-type of party, I decided I really should get a new tie to go along with my outfit. Eriol asked me what color my suit was and helped me pick out a burgundy silk one. He had excellent taste, I was impressed. So after modeling the new tie out for him and finally buying it, we were off to another shop. I still had no idea what to bring. We took a walk down the busy street to see if anything caught my eye. A wine store? That would be classy. Yes, wine was a good idea. After all what's a party without wine? The more the merrier right? So we went in and picked out a good brand. Surprisingly, it didn't kill my budget any and Eriol was pleased with my choice. It was getting late and we hadn't yet eaten anything so we stopped by a café for a quick bite. He offered to pay for both our meals. We sat down to chat, catching up on everything. Then we got to the subject of love. I think we were both a little reluctant to talk too deeply into the subject. I wonder why? At one point he shyly asked me if I had found anyone yet. I admit I was quite surprised at this question and as I thought deeply about it my heart began to pound. It was a strange distant feeling, but it only lasted a moment as I shook my head in response. Then I asked him about Kaho and he shifted uncomfortably.
"We're..fine.." he sighed.
Then he checked his watch.
"Regretfully I must get going, the ladies are probably waiting for me at home right now. But if you feel that there is anything you wish to speak to me about, please know that I am here for you. See you tomorrow." and with that he gave a last flicker of his hand as he turned to leave.
I finished my tea and reflected on our afternoon together. I was glad I could talk to him. I never really got along with any of the guys around here. Yukito was really nice but I still blush around him sometimes so I can never really hold a full conversation. Touya was..well the same old Touya. Yamazaki was too into Chiharu. But here was Eriol, like the embodiment of Clow, the one person I had looked up to for so long. It was about time to bury the hatchet and perhaps learn more from him. I would definitely try to get to know him more at the party tomorrow. I stretched out a bit. It was about time I got on my way too.
Entering the house Wei informed me that Tomoyo had called. He asked me if I was hungry and I told him I already ate.
"Was it with miss Sakura?" he inquired.
I was curious as to why he thought so, "Actually no, it wasn't..why do you ask?"
He shrugged slightly, "I haven't seen you so energetic in a long time, the color in your cheeks has returned, I just assumed..." then he turned to continue his duties.
I bolted up to my room and gazed at myself in the mirror. Was it really true? I touched my face inspecting it curiously. I didn't look any different, was Wei just pulling my leg? Either way I decided I might as well call Tomoyo and see what she wanted.
"Moshi moshi?" answered her soft voice.
"Tomoyo, hello. Wei said you called me today?"
"Li-kun! Yes I did, where were you?"
"I went out to get something for the party tomorrow."
"Oh, so then you are coming! Great! Did you get a new tie too?"
"Yeah, Eriol helped me pick one out."
"Eriol?"
"Yes..."
Everything suddenly seemed to get quiet. Then she spoke again, a little more hesitantly.
"So..how is he?"
"He's fine.."
"Fine? as in feeling or looking?" she giggled.
"What?!"
"Never mind, so what did you two do?"
I really didn't like the amused tone in her voice, but I decided not to accuse her of anything yet and just answer her questions truthfully. After all I had nothing to hide.
"Well Kaho and Nakuru headed off to shop somewhere and he decided to help me pick out my last minute things. So we got my tie and then bought some wine for the party tomorrow. Then we went to a cafe to get something to eat and talk a bit."
"So..you went on a date then?"
"Date..DATE?! Tomoyo! just what are you saying?"
"Well..did he pay for the meal?"
"Yes, but.."
"Mmm..hmmm"
"THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! You know you really are reading too much into this. We didn't do anything. I can't believe you would say that.." I started rambling my head off until she interrupted me.
"Woah, woah..slow down! Syaoran, I was just kidding. You really bit my head off that time. I was only teasing, don't take it seriously. I'm glad you two are on good terms now."
I seriously sweatdropped and felt my face grow hot. I clutched my chest to feel my heart slow down back to it's regular pace as I gasped briefly for air. How embarrassing. I really overreacted that time.
"S-sorry about that."
"I haven't seen you overreact like that since the 'confession' days."
"Confession?"
"Yes, remember? trying to confess to Sakura? Boy you really have your mind somewhere else." she giggled.
"Oh, yeah yeah, right..confession."
"Hmmm.. is there anything you need to tell me?" she cooed.
I nearly dropped the phone.
"Wha..what?! T-Tomoyo.. listen I gotta go."
"Wait, Li-kun how are you getting to the party tomorrow?"
"I'm walking, it's not far. I really gotta go."
"Okay okay, I'll see you tomorrow then." she said before I hung up.
I fell backwards onto my bed, wiping at my forehead before I let my arms hang off the side. What was that about? I let my breath calm down as I stared at the ceiling. What..was happening to me? I touched my shoulder where Eriol had placed his hand before and there was a momentary flash back to his soft eyes. I jumped at the thought as I threw my pillow over my face. I just wanted to hide, I didn't want to think about any of this. Why was I even sweating it? right? It's nothing. Just Clow's lasting impression, yeah that's what it was. Nothing to worry about. Sleep soon ended my constant questioning.
Ok! so I lied, I hardly got a drop of rest last night. I was in and out of sleep the whole time and found myself tossing and turning. I crawled out of the bath as I hauled myself up to my bathroom mirror. I proceeded to finish the rest of my daily grooming habits, but the circles under these eyes certainly weren't attractive. I fought against the urge to slip back into bed and sleep for a while more. I was terribly hungry and chose to stumble downstairs and eat breakfast. Once the food was placed in front of me I realized I wasn't hungry all of a sudden.
"You have to eat something master Shaolan" rebuked Wei from the kitchen, but I resulted to jabbing at my food with my fork.
He reappeared before me with some juice in hand.
"Really, master Shaolan, something tells me you didn't get much sleep last night." he insinuated.
Well that was enough to jerk me out of my grogginess.
"W-what do you mean? I'm fine, just a little tired that's all."
"Is that so, then why is it you wont eat either? This hasn't happened since..well never mind" he stopped himself short taking my plate away.
I eyed him curiously ready to object but instead grabbed the drink and headed back up to my room.
I stepped out into the balcony of my room, taking in the fresh air. I was wide awake now, but feeling very pensive. It's only started recently. I don't mean to act any differently than normal, I don't really feel different, but everyone else seems to think so. What was really going on then? I took a few chugs from my can of juice, finally crushing it when empty. Turning back into my room I noticed the invitation on my desk. I picked it up inspecting it over again. I could feel his aura on it. I could almost see him writing it. I opened the card again. He had nice hand writing, almost as if some fancy calligraphy. I wonder if they taught that sort of thing back in England. I wonder if he would teach me. Teach me?! What was I thinking? Well, Ok before I wanted to learn from him, but now..wait why am I freaking out? It's no different from before. I still want to learn from him, nothing wrong with that. It's just..well now people had me thinking..and I've been feeling..Aw forget this! I shot a glance at the clock. I still had plenty of time before the party so, I might as well go take a walk, just keep my mind off of everything. It was all just too confusing right now.
I flung some clothes on and ran to the park. On the way couples were taking a stroll together or holding hands. Some of them kissing in the corners. Was this all fate's evil way of messing with my head? I shot my view to the floor as I walked faster towards the park. I needed to get away from all this. I sat on a swing slowly rocking myself as the words everyone had said the previous day played back in my head. Tomoyo's amused teasing tone, Wei's scrupulous insinuations..Eriol's smile. There I go again! I threw my head back hanging off the edge of the swing when a familiar smiling face loomed over me. I shot back up into a sitting position as I realized it was Yukito.
He held a shopping bag in one of his arms.
"Hi there! Long time no see, Li-kun. Who would have thought I'd see you here." he said flashing his sweetest smile.
I blushed.
"H-hi Yukito-san, it's nice to see you too. What are you doing here?"
He took a seat on the swing next to me and let his legs stretch out.
"Just went shopping for a few things before the party tonight."
He dug around his bag and pulled out a mocchi asking me if I wanted one. I told him I wasn't hungry as politely as possible. He looked a bit shocked for a moment then resumed to eating his pastry.
"So are you coming to the party too?" he finally asked me.
I wrung my hands slightly.
"Yes.." that came out a little more strained than I had meant it to and he seemed to notice.
"That's great, I wouldn't miss out on it for anything. I'm sure Sakura-chan will be very happy, she deserves this party after everything. I will be very happy to see her again. Since things around here are calm now I haven't had the chance to see much of her lately no matter how many times I go to Touya's house."
"Oh..that's too bad." I uttered.
He smiled.
"It's nice of Eriol to throw her this party. Yue will be very pleased to see him again."
My attention was immediately caught at the sound of his name, but I played it off.
"Yue? oh..yes. Sometimes I forget Eriol is Clow's reincarnation."
Yukito took a longing gaze at the sky.
"It's odd you know, I'm happy with To-ya, he is everything I have ever wanted. But when it comes to Yue..I notice that his heart beats at the mention of Clow. I can sense that Yue had a very special bond with him in the past. It feels about as special as the bond between To-ya and I. I wonder, when he looks at Eriol, if he feels the same way about the boy. What does Eriol feel when he sees Yue?"
"The.. same way..?"
I hung my head a bit as I clutched at the sides of the swing. So Yue still feels for Clow..who is now Eriol. Would Yue and I become rivals? Rivals!? What's wrong with me! Besides Yue cares for Touya I'm sure. Wait? why was I debating this in the first place? I shook my head violently trying to erase these thoughts from my mind.
"Something wrong?" asked Yukito with a mildly concerned look.
"It's nothing..I was just thinking that, I'm sure that the part of Eriol with Clow's heart misses Yue. But I also think that Yue cares for Touya as much as you do, so you shouldn't doubt anything. At the same time I don't think Yue will ever forget Clow or give up his feelings for him completely. Eriol might be a good comfort to Yue in that aspect."
"You really like him a lot too don't you?" he smiled.
I nearly jumped off the swing and turned heel, but instead I backed up slightly as if to shield myself from his words. They were the same words I had heard from him so long ago.
"I..I don't understand. Why?.." I stuttered trying to confront him.
"Li-kun, you really are a kind person. I know it. But you have always tried to hide your feelings. Even in the past when you were pursuing Sakura-chan, I remember your reactions so you don't fool me. Having a side of me that loved Clow, I can see through to your heart and know it beats at the same pace as Yue's does when his name is mentioned. Am I right? You do care for him. We share the same feelings deep down, only for Yue it is the memory of Clow he loves, for you..it's Eriol."
I slumped back into the swing and sighed. I guess I couldn't fight it anymore. I couldn't hide from Yukito/Yue who was aware of all things Clow, more than anyone else. I might as well wake up to the reality that it was more than admiration I was feeling for, not Clow, but Eriol. I had worshipped Clow for so long, made his legacy my life, and now I had fallen for the boy who possessed his soul. One afternoon had changed everything I held as real. Everything just.. changed. Yukito and I sat in silence for what seemed like hours. I suppose we were both reflecting on what happens next.
"Are you going to tell him?" he asked finally.
"I can't..."
"What you can't do is lie to yourself forever. I did the same you know. I put off telling Touya how I really felt about him for a long time. His sister knew even before he did. All along, I knew he cared for me but I was too scared to ruin everything between us. But you are luckier. There is nothing for you to ruin right now, because you don't have a past with him. Whatever happens from here on can only build your relationship with him, not break it. Have confidence in yourself."
"But he has Kaho..who am I to interfere in their relationship?"
"Are you sure about that? When did you see him last?"
"Yesterday.."
"Who did he spend most of his time with, just think back. Was he any different when he was around you?"
I thought back to our day together. It was true. He offered to spend the day with me, and earlier..his smile. His smile returned when he was around me. It was different! I grinned as it all came into place.
"How did you.." I began to ask him but he shook his head.
"I just know.." he said before standing up, "I have to get going, but I will see you at the party later today ok?"
"Yes, thank you for everything Yukito-san" I really did appreciate it.
"It's no problem" he turned to leave but stopped for a moment, "oh, and ganbare ne!" he whispered giving me a last wink as he headed off.
The party! that's right! I really should get back and start getting ready myself. It was going to be an interesting night.
~*~
I turned left and right in front of my reflection making sure everything was adjusted properly. I pulled on my tie one last time and took one more run of the comb through my hair. I had to look just perfect. Maybe I was going a little too overboard to be as impressive as possible but just in case..I shot one more pass of the cologne. Finally satisfied I took my gift and bounded out of the house and on route to Eriol's mansion. Walking down the street I kept myself busy sorting out all the possible things that could go wrong that night and how I could resolve them. I hardly noticed the taxi pulling up beside me. The back window slid down as Yukito's head popped out and greeted me. He caught me off guard as I scrambled to keep the wine from smashing to the floor. He laughed and asked if I needed a lift, so I climbed in. I shut the door behind me and shifted next to him as the Taxi continued on it's course.
"Well this is the second time we meet today!" he chirped.
"Thank you for the lift, but..where is Touya?" I asked curiously.
"He called me and said he would be getting off of work a little later today so he told me not to wait up for him. So here I am." he responded.
"I see.."
"And I see a very handsome young man sitting next to me! My, you are all dolled up aren't you!?" he said smiling as I blushed furiously, "Eriol wont be able to resist."
"Yukito-saaaan!" his warm compliments were only increasing my blush, "Thank you, that's very nice of you to say that."
And he giggled.
"Just relax and be yourself, you'll be all right."
"I don't know though.."
"No going back now Li-kun, because, here we are." He said pointing to the approaching mansion.
I could feel myself tense up as my grip on the wine bottle tightened. Yuki grinned. We exited the Taxi and Yukito paid the driver. I waited for him and we finally made our way up the steps of the mansion and to the front door. He gave my shoulders a slight squeeze before knocking.
Kaho answered the door. That woman...no I wasn't jealous, really! She greeted us and led us in the house. A few people were already there. I recognized the kids from school and also some grown ups. A lot of people who really appreciated Sakura came, and by now her Card Captor secret wasn't so much of a secret anymore to those that were close to her. Tomoyo gave me a wave and a sly smile from across the room. Yamazaki was huddled by a few people as he told his usual stories. Everyone was so glammed up. I would have never imagined half of them wearing fancy suits or dresses. But where was Eriol? Yukito and I headed straight for the food table. I set my wine bottle down and watched as Yuki devoured some hor d'ouvres. Then I felt an arm reach around me and pick up the wine bottle.
"Nice choice..Syaoran" I turned in time to see Eriol.
I was stunned by his presence in that charming ensemble of his. In other words, he looked incredible. My heart began to race. But before I could say anything a great commotion was heard by the doorway. The guest of honor had arrived along with her brother, and Eriol rushed to greet her.
Sakura promptly made her way towards me and threw her arms around me thanking me for coming. I didn't know what to do. Old emotions pulled at my strings as she smiled at me with her big emerald eyes. Maybe my thing for Eriol was only a momentary crush? Maybe I really did belong with Sakura. But I caught a glimpse of his face from across the room, eyeing us intently. There was a hint of pain in those lavender orbs of his. And my being melted into them as I realized I couldn't doubt my feelings for him. He turned and took his place on a platform, grabbing a mic and starting the celebration. He announced Sakura's arrival to everyone, made opening statements as the host of the party, and brought in the orchestra which would be playing the music we would be dancing to throughout the night.
And the music began to play. Sakura asked me if I would dance the first dance with her. I couldn't deny her request, after all it was her party. So we danced and everything was going fine until I noticed Kaho and Eriol dancing as well. I don't know if my eyes turned green at that moment because pure jealousy poured from them as I saw the way she held him. But I also noticed, he was not enjoying himself as much as she was. I should have been paying more attention to my own status because Sakura had somehow laid her head on my shoulder. I shot my eyes from side to side nervously, not sure of what to do, until they rested on Tomoyo's longing face from across the room. She held her hands clasped together as she stood against that wall, her eyes large and glistening below the light of the chandelier. Poor Tomoyo. I know she wished she was in my place. I don't know if it was a subconscious decision but somehow I backed up into a waiter and spilled some water on myself. It was the prefect distraction though as Sakura and I broke apart. I excused myself from our dance as I grabbed a napkin and briskly soaked up the water. I couldn't handle more of the sights around me so I headed for the outdoor balcony.
It was a crisp dark night, with the beautiful view of the city lights beyond. But something else also caught my eye. On the far right corner of the terrace, Yukito and Touya were cuddling. I know I shouldn't have stared but, I couldn't help it. They both looked so happy together and completely comfortable in each other's arms. I really wanted something like that. I poked my head back into the party to see how things were going. Yamazaki and Chiharu were holding hands a short distance away from me. Kaho and Nakuru were chatting and Sakura had resorted to dancing with Eriol now. This night was not going the way I had planned. I thought Eriol and I would get some time to ourselves so I could..tell him. I shuffled over to the far left corner of the terrace away from the couple on the other side. I sighed at the view and starless night as the music inside came to a short stop. A new song commenced and I listened to the waltz that played.
"Isn't that the same song that both you and Sakura-san danced to for that Romeo and Juliet type play?"
I whirled around at the voice in time to find Eriol standing with two wine glasses in one hand and a bottle in the other.
He smiled at me.
"How did you know about the play?"
He walked up beside me.
"It's a beautiful song, the first time she tried to tell you her feelings actually." He said handing me a glass.
I was more or less speechless.
"She wrote me about it." he winked.
What exactly was he trying to say bringing up the past and all. I stood pensively for a moment handling my glass. I was too timid to look into his face. Eriol always had a hidden motive for something.
"So this is where you've been hiding?" he mused looking at the view.
"I wasn't hiding, just taking a breather, that's all." I noticed the bottle in his hand.
"That's the wine I brought.." I pointed.
He flashed a sly smile.
"I snuck it out, just for the two of us." and with that he popped the cork.
"A toast." he said pouring us both a glass.
"To what?" I asked.
"To everything"
"And what's everything?"
"To Sakura the mistress of the Cards, to Clow for innumerable things, to the sun and moon for their light and power, and most of all to you Syaoran, my descendant..my blood"
I tightened my hold on the glass as I built up the courage to say what was on my mind.
"And..to our newfound friendship" I said softly.
Eriol's expression grew softer as his eyes wavered by the lights of Tomoeda.
"Yes..to that too."; and we both downed our drink.
It threw us into a fit of laughter for some reason, that was soon interrupted by Nakuru's call. She said a few more people had arrived so Eriol excused himself hesitantly before leaving to greet the newcomers. This certainly wasn't the night to bond was it? I decided to head in as well and get a bite to eat. I found Tomoyo also serving herself.
"Having a good time?" I dared to ask her.
She forced out a smile.
"Sakura-chan is very happy...so I am also happy."
But I knew that something was killing her inside.
"Oh, by the way she wants to talk to you."
"About what?"
"You're guess is as good as mine." she said before turning to leave.
I think Tomoyo knew more than she let on. And that's when she found me.
"Syaoran-kun, can I talk to you for a second?" pleaded Sakura.
"S-sure.." I stuttered as she led me outside.
The girl turned away from me and began pacing as if she was trying to gather up courage for something. I grew nervous with anticipation. She finally stood facing me firmly and reached out for my hand.
"Syaoran-kun..I know things between us haven't been the same since we broke apart. But I feel that we have become good enough of friends lately. So..I think..I can finally ask you.." she said before taking in a deep breath and continuing, "Do you.."
I gulped.
"Do you.."
I closed my eyes.
"..think Tomoyo likes me?"
I fell over.
"Wh-what!?" I blurted out astonished at her question.
"Well I think we have a deep trust with each other by now, and it took me all night to build up the courage to ask you for advice. You are the only other person who knows her well enough besides me."
I grabbed her shoulders tightly much to her surprise.
"You mean to tell me you are after Tomoyo?" I laughed.
She blinked "Is that wrong? Are you Ok? Syaoran?"
"No, this is a big relief!? I thought..well when we were dancing, you rested your head.."
"Oh..that" she blushed, "I was..sneaking peeks..but"
She continued "She looked so sad at one point, I really wasn't planning on saying anything tonight but, when I saw her that way..I just had to do something, had to know.."
I held my forehead in astonishment, half speechless.
She shrugged shyly, "So..what do you think?"
So we sat down and had a nice long chat. After a while we came to the conclusion that Tomoyo had loved her for a very long time and Sakura slapped her forehead amazed at how blind she had been the whole time. She thanked me for all the great advice before leaving my side to find her true love. Who would have known she had been harboring feelings for her friend recently. Speaking of true love, where was Eriol? I strolled back into the main room only to find Sakura leading an ecstatic Tomoyo off somewhere. I was happy for them. But the moment was cut suddenly when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
"Syaoran-kun.." said Yukito with a rather alarmed voice, "I think you better find Eriol quick."
"What's wrong?"
"I think he had too much to drink and is trying to karaoke to classical music in the next room." he said sweat-dropping.
I knew that meant trouble, Eriol was a calm and composed prankster in his normal state. But in a drunken state who knew what kinds of things he would do. I thanked Yukito for the tip and darted off to find him. And there he was, swaying to the music trying to sing a love song of some sort. He was surrounded and aided by other guests who had a bit too much to drink themselves and thought him the best performer. I was almost too embarrassed to say I knew the guy. But in I went like the hero of some fairy-tale to rescue his princess..err prince? I took the microphone from him, despite the many hisses and boo's from the crowd, and announced that Eriol was taking a short recess to let someone else sing. There was no shortage of participants as someone else took his place to make a fool of themselves. The festivities began again as I dragged him out to get some air.
Finally outside I let him hang over the balcony slightly so he could gulp in some fresh air. This was definitely not the way I had planned my evening. He picked himself up momentarily before slouching against my shoulders and clinging to my sleeve.
"I'm so sorry about this Syao-chan, I don't mean to be a burden on you. I usually don't get like this." he said, although this was my translation of his slightly slurred speech.
"I don't know what came over me, I should have taken it a little easier, oh BTW you're bottle is gone my friend." he giggled.
Wait a minute..did I miss something or did he just call me 'Syao-chan'? I grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly to get his attention and stop his giggling. Looking him squarely in the eyes I asked him.
"Syao-chan? Did you just call me Syao-chan?"
He seemed surprised at my question. He held his chin as he pretended to think deeply. Then he laughed and shot forward until my nose was almost touching his. He seemed to relax finally realizing how close he was to me.
"Of course..I did, does that bother you..Syao-chan?" he asked, his voice grown slightly deeper.
I turned crimson realizing that the glint in his eyes meant business.
"N-n-no..not really"
He smiled coyly and wrapped his arms around me nearly losing his balance and pushing me back under his weight.
"I never had the courage to tell you this before, but better now than never. You look absolutely gorgeous in that suit." he gave my tie a slight tug.
"I bet you look even better with nothing on too!" he giggled, "And to make things worse..you have an incredibly cute bum!" he laughed.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. What the hell was a 'bum' anyway? He pressed closer to me.
"You mean to tell me you..you..like me?" I gulped.
"It's love baby.." he said in English.
Was this heaven or hell? Is this what I had wanted to hear all along? I wasn't sure anymore. If anything I was growing angry. This wasn't the way I had pictured declaring my love for him and vice versa.
"You don't mean any of it.." I growled pushing him off me lightly, "you're only saying this because you're drunk!"
"Am I?" he said fixing his eyes intently on me with such accuracy it was frightening.
Then he leaned in pressing his lips firmly over my own.
I couldn't believe this was happening. My heart pounded out of control. It was happening, it was really happening. I tried to back up but he tightened his grip on me and continued his assault. I admit..I really liked it and decided I couldn't fight against it. It was futile. So I surrendered to his hungry kisses as he continued groping me. I could taste the wine on his soft lips and caught the aroma in his heavy breath. I was enjoying every minute of it and yet at the same time worried over someone finding us. There would be no way to explain why we were necking at Sakura's party. Worse yet, why we were making-out in the first place. I never thought Eriol a wild one until now. Was he normally like this? Maybe this whole 'drunken Eriol' phase was a blessing after all. Whatever it was I was on cloud nine, until he broke it all off. He suddenly turned very gentle as he brought his hand up to my cheek and his eyes dimmed softly. A far cry from the greedy, lusty Eriol of before.
His voice also softened as he spoke "I've been meaning to tell you that..for a long time."
He leaned in once more to place a light kiss on my forehead before slumping against me. The boy passed out.
I picked him up as much as I could and hauled him past the party and to the halls of the house. Yukito came jogging up to us to ask if everything was ok. I told him Eriol had a long night and needed some rest. Yukito said he would cover for him. I was very grateful to him. He had been a great help to me all day. I wonder what it was? Perhaps he saw promise in the two of us, a chibi version of Touya and himself? Or was this Yue's way of letting go of Clow? I don't know, whatever it was, I was thankful to it. But Eriol sure was heavier than he looked!
I continued down the halls and into the rooms. There were so many that I just picked one and headed on in. It looked like a study. It was a large room. The walls were loaded from floor to ceiling with books. A large desk sat on one end of the study. Behind it were huge windows with a lovely view that let a soft light into the room. The place was also adorned with vases and a single large couch by the windows. I decided to place him there. I stood back a moment gazing at his lovely delicate features. The way the light danced on the angles of his body. I was hesitant to leave, but my absence at the party would not go unnoticed, besides I should notify some people of Eriol's whereabouts. I turned to leave but my hand had hardly touched the handle of the door when I saw him lift his head from the corner of my eye.
"Stay.." he whispered.
"I can't" I replied.
I tried not to turn around, I know if I looked into his eyes I would not be able to leave.
"Syaoran..stay.." he beckoned.
Ok..so I turned around, sue me! I sat next to him as his arms reached up towards me. He held my face in his hands as I smiled warmly at him.
"Feeling better?" I asked.
"Now that you're here..yes.." he cooed.
I leaned down to kiss him, I couldn't resist damn it.
He smiled.
"Will you stay with me then?" I nodded as he brought my body level with his.
I rested my head on his chest and he caressed my hair. Had I ever felt happier?..right now I really couldn't think. His touch was so relaxing it threatened to put me to sleep right then and there.
"Eriol..what about the others?" I asked in my usual over-worrying.
"What about them?" He always had a simple answer to everything.
"Let's worry about that..tomorrow.." he said winking as I got an idea of what that meant.
"Yeah..tonight..let's worry about, us." I agreed.
*hic*
and we laughed..
~ Owari