Murder Me, Harry

By Goldfish

Disclaimer: Not my characters.

Author's Note: Well, in movie 4 before the Yule Ball when Ron's in his (ahem) "robes" he says, "Murder me, Harry." And my brother gave me the idea. So you can pretty much guess what's going to happen. Woohoo, parodies whilst listening to Grease! The fun I shall have!

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"What are those?" Ron asked angrily.

"My dress robes!" Harry said, slightly nervous about Ron's response.

"Well, those are alright! They don't have lace or a dodgy collar! These aren't robes!" Ron said, exasperated. "They remind me of my Great-Aunt Tissy!"

Raising his arm and sniffing, he said, "They smell like my Great-Aunt Tissy!"

Harry looked at him sympathetically. They both looked in the mirror. Harry was dreading having to dance with Parvati. Ron was dreading having to go in the first place.

"Murder me, Harry," Ron said miserably.

Harry considered for a moment. Killing Ron would be helpful.

Look at those robes…Maybe after I kill him I'll put him in something else so he isn't even caught dead in them… Harry looked at Ron and smiled.

"What are you smiling at?" Ron asked.

"You really want me to kill you?" Harry asked.

"YES," Ron said. "Look at these!" Ron began to rant about the terrible robes he was wearing, and Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at Ron.

"Harry, what are you doing?" Ron asked.

"Just want you asked!" Harry said. "Good thing Moody taught us this, isn't it?" Ron looked a bit confused, and then Harry said, "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Ron smiled as he fell to the floor, dead.

Harry grinned and walked down to the Common Room ten minutes later. Ron was now in his school robes. Ron wouldn't be found dead in those robes, which were now burning in their fireplace in the dorm room.

"Hello, Harry!" said Parvati. "Where's Ron? Padma is excited to see him. Remember last year when Sirius Black was over him holding a knife? Wow…"
"Oh, I'm sorry about that. Ron's dead. He's up in our dorm room, in his bed. I used that Avada Kedavra curse Moody taught us."

At his words, a jet of green light burst from his wand which was in his pocket and hit the girl standing next to Viktor Krum. Everyone gasped as the girl, in her hideous pink rag-dress, fell to the ground, dead.

"OH MY GOD!" yelled Justin Finch-Fletchley. "HERMIONE GRANGER'S DEAD!"

Professor McGonagall ran out of the Great Hall, and pushed everyone inside.

"Potter, Diggory, Krum and Miss Delacour, take your dates in there and dance that dance we taught you! Potter, your best friend is dead! I'm sorry, but DANCE, DAMN YOU."

Harry danced with Parvati, trying to aim his wand in Cedric's direction.