Standard disclaimers apply; Slam
Dunk and all mentioned character are not mine. This fanfic is
supposedly yaoi, but I think it's cuter if Sakuragi and
Rukawa would just stay friends first, ne? But it does have yaoi
implicationshai, a start of a yaoimaybe there should
be a sequel. Anyway, comments, suggestions, and violent reactions
are always welcome. Fanfic done in Hanamichi's point of
view.
–blackcape@yyhmail.com
A year had passed ever since I graduated highschool, I'm right here waiting for the dreaded first day of being a college sophomore. Despite my past performance in the *cough* academic world, I'm sure it's safe to say that I'm doing well in college. And yes, I've come to accept that I'm not all that perfect, I've dropped the self-proclaimed tensai' title a few years ago. You can say I've finally matured out of my childish fantasies ever since it happened.
Two years ago, it happened, I was in fourth year highschool then. We all remember my beloved Akagi Haruko, right? And my reliably lunatic friend, Youhei Mito? Well, it seems as though that through the years that Youhei had helped me find my way into Haruko's heart, it was he who somehow got himself in.
I remembered Haruko telling me, remembered her excited face when she pulled me at the side of the court during practice.
Sakuragi-kun, guess what?
Those were the exact words she used that started it all. It all came tumbling down then, everything that I have come to hope for, yearn for. One would never imagine what the look on my face showed then.
I'm in love with Youhei! I realized that I would never have a chance with Rukawa-kun, no matter what I do. But that's not the reason why I liked Youhei, he's very special. That was why I left Rukawa-kun to his shinetai and just decided to shift my path.
Help me, Sakuragi-kun, I want him to like me too!
To my great surprise, and most probably everyone else's, I actually helped her. Why? I don't know. It actually came as a surprise to me, my Haruko with my best friend Mito. But what really shocked me was that I wasn't the least bit hurt at all, I was actually happy for them.
I helped Haruko with all my best, up until I myself gave Youhei the inevitable truth. He was surprised of course, asking me questions of concern. He was deeply guilty for taking away' Haruko from me, but I assured him that I was perfectly fine. Everything said with a genuine smile on my face. The smile even widened itself when I found out that the dumb ass felt the same way for Haruko.
Right after that, we graduated. We all were supposed to go to the same colleges, so we can always be together. But sad to say, basketball must've been taken everything from me. I failed the entrance test of the college we're all supposed to go in and was forced to go off on my own. Of course, my friends had offered to enter the college I was bound to fall in, but I can never take away their accomplishment from them. They hesitantly agreed to leave me, but made me promise to see them at least once a week.
I stopped playing basketball, I didn't enter the team. I swore to make up for lost time and study instead. I've lost my chance to be with the people I love because of basketball, and I'm not going to lose myself again. I was determined to change. I was determined to start over.
So here I am, strolling down a quiet street near my dormitory, thinking back on good old times with my friends. I don't know how it all ended, but I never see those guys as often as I promised I would. Sometimes, we can go for months without seeing each other. I stopped calling Youhei, or the other guys, even if almost everyday my answering machine blinks with messages from them, asking me to call back.
I never did.
I felt like I had to find something else, something that can complete me. All along, I thought it was basketball. The feeling of accomplishment, of tired muscles aching for relaxation, I thought those completed me. But hell, I was confused then. I thought I was in love with Haruko, but then when I found out about her and Youhei, I was excited! Aghast, but definitely excited, and very much happy for the two. Or I think it was because Haruko finally got over Rukawa.
That was another thing. Rukawa Kaede, my all time rival. Yeah, I suppose I've been his rival too. Despite my lack of experience in basketball, I was a monster unleashed when in a game. He must've realized that himself. But no, I can never be as good as him, that guy's a genius.
Is it funny, hearing me talk like this? Not the Hanamichi we all know, is it? Right after the Youhei-Haruko thing, I think I've changed. I was never as angry with Rukawa as I usually was, well, everybody knows I hated him for Haruko anyway. But when I found out that I was over my puppy love for Haruko, and that she was happy with someone I can trust, I started asking myself what I might truly feel for the kitsune.
And so, with those thoughts whirling up my mind, I stopped bugging him. My teammates were shocked, What's this? Hanamichi and Rukawa? Why aren't they fighting?! Oh come on, everybody knows it's my fault why Rukawa and I fight anyway. But there are still times when the two of us would bicker, I think it had become natural between us to do so because, well, for one thing, I've practically made his life a living hell for him.
But despite the times we fight, I've always felt a bond between me and that fox. We exchange high fives when we win games, pass the ball to each other, we even compliment each other at times (through insults, but I think they can count). Oh, and by the way, I've learned to call him by his name now, Kaede, but never really got to using it mostly. What matters was that I finally got over the childish display of hatred for the guy. And the kitsune' nicknameI never really got to getting rid of it.
Anyway, after I started actually acting nice around him, everything that somehow seemed hazy about Rukawa started to clear before me. I don't know if anybody would believe me, but that guy has a sense of humor. I've known it ever since that last game we played together. He cracked a joke, the single joke my whole history of knowing him there ever was, and I must say it was not at all lame. It was an insult, but it made me laugh nonetheless.
That was the last time I ever spoke to Rukawa. Like I said, we eventually graduated, and God knows where that guy ended up in. But it does make me wonder sometimes. We've been getting along well on those last few months, maybe it wasn't as hopeless after all. And though I insist on telling myself this, those stolen glances of the guy were never left unnoticed, least of all because it was I who had been doing them. I've come to admire his talent, his grace, eventually his eyes, his hair, yeah, I suppose those insane girls were right when they told me has was cute.
I stopped dead on my tracks. Where the hell did those come from?! I shook my head frantically, desperately willing those thoughts out of my head. But they never got out though, and I felt like banging my head up the nearby wall. God, was I actually seeing Rukawa as attractive?! No, wait! Nevermind, justsomeone hit me!
POW!
That last thing caught me off guard, and I fell flat on the ground. I winced, cursing as I looked down at that demon of a thing that hit me, and eventually look at who hit me. My eyes narrowed.
Abasketball?
I was so surprised that I couldn't move, my gaze just resting on the ball on the ground. I didn't even hear the upcoming footsteps that soon came towards me.
Anou, gomen! Daijoubu?
My eyes widened at that. That voice, that deep, husky, and very much familiar voice. Oh no
I felt myself stiffen as the figure came beside me, a cold hand laying itself on my shoulder (which all the more caused me to be even harder than a statue). The voice's owner crouched down in front of me to see if I was all right. He looked down at me, and I tried my best to look down in hopes that he wouldn't recognize me.
But I failed. He saw me. And he recognized me. I felt him stiffen in his place, his hand jerking away from my shoulder. He grabbed the ball and stood up. Oh, nevermind then.
I felt a vein pop. Just before he could walk away from me, I grabbed onto his ankle, causing him to fall in a much worse heap on the ground beside me. I grinned. Hah! Baka kitsune, think I'll forgive you for that?! You're not leaving without a proper apology!
He turned back and glared at me, his fox eyes twitching in irritation. You know, somehow I expected that reply.
I grinned wider and pulled at his feet. That was not an apology, I said, raising up a finger in a determined manner.
He rolled his eyes. It's not my fault you were on the way he said, trying in vain to pull away from me. But of course, I wouldn't give in just like that.
Hah! It's not my fault you're still the same old dumb self when it comes to basketball! Okay, so I myself admitted that he was good, but he doesn't know that, does he?
He turned away.
Teme---!!! Just apologize and I'll let you go!
Baka kitsune, you're still your rude self, aren't you?!
That was it. I snatched the ball from his hands with my free one, clutching it behind me. And finally, I had a reaction. He leapt for it, but having his ankle trapped gave me a good advantage. Say the magic word, kitsune!
No, that was the wrong answer! It's I'm sorry, and please give me back the ball', I stated affirmatively, making my point by extending my hand away from him even more. I had no idea why I was doing this, and though I started to notice that a few people are already staring at us, I could hardly care. This is fun!
Yarou, Sakuragi, give it back!
Oh, so you know my name after all!
After years of absence, the expected brawl started again. The ball was then forgotten as the packs of punches and shoves started between the two of us. Fortunately, those few people I was talking about earlier turned out to be concerned citizens and tried to stop the two us. But, like we've always been during our highschool days, we didn't pay attention.
Eventually, someone called in the police. Hey, you two! Stop that!
After a few attempts to pull us apart, the officer succeeded in going in between me and Rukawa. We sat together, the three of us, on that street, tired pants coming from all of us. Oh, we're in trouble, but hell, as if we haven't been in worse cases anyway.
The thought of Akagi (aka Gori) came to mind and I started laughing. The whole population of that busy street, including Rukawa himself, stared dumbfounded at me. They all must've thought I've cracked. I shook my head, a tiny hint of a grin on my lips. I'm hungry. Ne, Rukawa, wanna eat? My treat for once!
The expression of the people around us didn't change, but they all looked at Rukawa. Rukawa was still dumbfounded.
I'm hungry, there's a noodle house around here somewhere, I looked around, poking my head on different directions as I looked around for the said noodle house.
Rukawa was still confused, even if it's not obvious from his face. He still wore that air of indifference with him, but four years of coping with such an attitude can help you go through Rukawa's facial expressions easily. He pointed a finger behind me. There's a ramen shop from the direction you came from. Ahou.
Indeed, I was so hungry that I decided to ignore that last comment and pulled Rukawa's wrist to help him stand up. I shoved the people aside and ran back to, as he said, the ramen shop nearby, leaving the confused townspeople (and the officer) behind.
It wasn't until we reached the ramen shop did Rukawa settle himself from his shock and finally had the will to sit down on the stool beside me. He stared down at me as I uttered a gleeful while I break my chopsticks in two. He was still watching me as I devoured my bowl of noodles, his left untouched.
I looked up from the mouthful of noodles and was able to spout out a Stop looking at me! (although it sounded like Shtoph rooking't phee!) before I got the strength to swallow my food.
Rukawa shut his eyes and stood back, wiping himself off the few drops of noodle soup I spilled on his face with an obviously irritated hand. All right, ahou, why did you bring me here? he asked, wiping his hand in a handkerchief he pulled out a few seconds after.
I looked up at him. Hm? I was just trying to get away from that police guy, I snorted, trying to avoid Rukawa's suspicious glare. I looked down at my bowl and saw that it was already empty. My eyes looked hesitantly at Rukawa's untouched share of my treat', then looked up to look at him.
Rukawa sighed and shook his head. Take it.
I shouted in glee and grabbed the bowl, digging my chopsticks deep in the noodles and started taking the delicious things in. I looked up at Rukawa, who was still watching me. you want it back?
I thought I saw a sweatdrop run down his head. Hell no.
So we stayed that way, me eating my (or should I say, Rukawa's) noodles and him watching me at the corner of his eyes. What he's thinking about, I have no idea. I finished my soup with a happy and decided that I was still hungry. I ordered a sushi platter next, ignoring Rukawa's roll of the eyes as he shook his head.
So, Kae-chan, what've you been up to? I asked.
I saw his brow twitch. Yes, success, pissed him, nyahahaha!
Aw come on, kitsune, I've been calling you by your name ever since fourth year!
I sweatdropped. Let me rephrase it then. What have you been up to, Rukawa?
He rolled his eyes, but he answered me nonetheless. Nothing much, he replied, leaning on the counter top as he closed his eyes sleepily.
What do you mean? What course did you take? I asked, nudging him to make sure he was awake.
Wouldn't matter what I took, he replied in his usual bored way of replying, not even opening his eyes to regard me.
I'm taking business management, okaasan said I have a convincing personality! I exclaimed happily as I lifted my chopsticks in triumph.
He opened his eyes and looked at me with a quirked eyebrow, and closed them again. Yare yare
I frowned, glaring at him as I waited for my order. I need to find something to make him talk somehow! Haruko-san dumped me.
Nope, that didn't get him. I knew she will ever since first year. Do'ahou.
She liked you.
I'm not blind.
You left your basketball on the streets.
Wasn't mine.
I sweatdropped. I didn't enter the basketball team.
He sighed. Neither did I.
Instead of me surprising him, he surprised me. What?! I thought you were aiming to be the best!
He opened his eyes and looked down. He seemed to hesitate. was looking for someone.
I blinked up at him. Eh? Looking for what? A girlfriend? I laughed, causing me to earn a glare from the kitsune.
He shook his head. Someone I seem to have lost, someone who gave basketball a new meaning to me. Without that someone, the games will never be the same.
I looked at him, watched him clasp his hands together and lean further into the counter top. I think I muttered a quiet before we settled into silence. My order came eventually, and I looked down at it and sighed. You mean like the way basketball became important for me because of Haruko.
He didn't look at me, but he nodded. Somehow, I think it's the same.
I finished my meal quietly, with Rukawa sitting beside me, waiting patiently for me. I stood up and paid for my food, exited the store, knowing that Rukawa was following close by.
I was never the same ever since I lost Haruko, was I? But I don't think it was because I loved her and she didn't love me back, it was because I found out the I was playing basketball not because of her anymore. Maybe I had grown to love it, but then why did I quit? I remember playing and aiming to be the best so I can beat Rukawa. I wake up every morning because I want to beat the hell out of Rukawa, I eat to make myself strong so I won't fall down when Rukawa finally loses his nerve and punches me back.
I played basketball for Rukawa, and Rukawa alone. Despite my earlier thoughts of liking Haruko and impressing her, it wasn't my main concern. This came out as a shock for me, and I felt my body stiffen as I walked with him. How the hell did I ever lose myself like this?
We walked side by side, and for once silent, and ended up in a little playground. The swings were high enough to accommodate our towering heights, and the two of us sat down next to each other. But neither of us was in the mood to play.
Oi, Kaede.
He looked up at me, regarding my call. He didn't respond, but I knew he was listening.
I didn't play basketball for Haruko.
At first he was silent, then he nodded. I know.
There was silence between us again. I traced squiggles down at the dusty ground with my shoes, sighing and giving in to the revelation. I didn't love Haruko. I never did. And I never hated Rukawa.
I looked up surprised.
Rukawa wasn't looking at me, his blue cast on the ground. Gomen. For hitting you earlier.
I was certainly surprised. Rukawa? Apologizing? To me?! And as if that wasn't strange enough, I replied. don't mind, it was my fault, I wasn't looking anyway.
Iie. My fault.
Mine, kitsune.
Ahou, can't you even know whose fault is whose?
!!! Ask that to yourself, baka kitsune!
Fine, it's your fault then.
Nah-uh, I change my mind! It was YOUR fault, Rukawa!
He rolled his eyes.
I snorted.
Despite that senseless argument, I felt light. And I felt comfortable, more comfortable than I usually had been ever since I graduated and decided that I needed something to suit me. Yes, I was right, it was not basketball. But basketball had helped me introduce who I was looking for.
I smiled, but I didn't look at him. He knows I'm listening.
Remember when I told you I was looking for someone?
I nodded. I felt his eyes on me. But I didn't feel the chill that usually runs up my spine when he does so. I didn't feel the dread of paranoia I felt before, I didn't ask myself Is he hitting me?' No, it didn't feel like that anymore. It was almostcomfortable.
I found him.
O W A R I