Title: An Imperfect Mirror
Author: PepperjackCandy
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Lex/Clark, Clark/f,
Category: Drama, Romance, AU
Spoilers for: Assorted Season 1 eps
Disclaimer: Assorted characters from DC comics and/or Smallville are included. Don't own them. One character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is included. Don't own her, either. Any resemblance to the Roswell (which I don't own) Destiny storyline is purely intentional.
Thanks: Thank you to Plumeria and LaCasta for beta.
A/N: According to , Blade II, Sorority Boys and the re-release of E.T. all came out in mid-March of 2002.
Lois is played by Teri Hatcher, and her Uncle Fred is Armin Shimerman
============
Clark and Chloe were hard at work in the office of the Torch. Hard at work, that is, discussing their plans for the weekend.
Clark shook his head. "I think we'll have to talk to Lex about this. And Pete. We can't make any plans without him."
"Don't worry about Pete. You know he'll go along with anything we suggest. And if he doesn't like the movie we choose, we just have to supersize his popcorn for him."
"Excuse me." A girl's voice interrupted their knowing laughter.
"May we help you?" Chloe asked.
A young woman with collar-length brown hair came into the room sheepishly. "Mr. Kwan told me that I could come here and you'd sort of . . . show me the ropes.
"That is," she added as an afterthought, "if you are Chloe Sullivan?"
Chloe nodded. "You're the new girl. Mr. Kwan said that you'd stop by at the end of the day."
The brunette nodded. "Lois Lane." She held out a hand for Chloe to shake.
"Chloe Sullivan. Right now, all of the beats are assigned, so you'll mostly be covering for the other staff. Speaking of, this is Clark Kent. He's one-third of our staff."
Clark, feeling even taller, ganglier, and more ungainly than usual, nodded. "Hi." He had the oddest feeling of déjà vu.
Lois smiled at him broadly. "Nice to meet you."
"You too. I'll be going, Chloe. Chores, and, you know, stuff."
"Well, say 'hi' to stuff for me," Chloe said cheerily as Clark tried to keep from tripping over his feet as he left the room.
He hurried outside, where Lex was waiting in yet another foreign sports car. Clark felt bad about making him wait, but as he drew closer, he realized Lex was on the phone.
Clark grinned. Time to rescue his boyfriend from work, apparently.
He opened the car door, and sat down quietly, meeting Lex's eyes briefly as he did so.
"Well, my meeting's about to start, so I'd better run. Talk to you later." With that, Lex hung up.
Clark closed the car door and leaned across to kiss Lex quickly. "Chloe says hi."
"So, what brings you to Smallville?" Chloe asked as she closed the story files she'd been working on before she and Clark got sidetracked talking about the weekend.
Lois shrugged. "My folks move around a lot - my dad's in the Army - and he got stationed in Bialya. Anyway, my Uncle Fred offered to take me in so I could stay in the U.S., since things are heating up in Bialya again. And this way I can get my driver's license this year."
"You don't have your driver's license?"
"No. I mean, I'm only fifteen."
Chloe smiled. "Most of the kids around here drive before then." She shrugged. "Farm kids. They've got special permits to drive to help their parents. Clark's one."
"He's a tall drink of water." Lois said with admiration in her tone.
"Yep. They grow them big around here. I think it's all that fresh air." Chloe shuddered theatrically.
"Not your thing?"
"Nope. I'm a city girl. Born and raised in Metropolis. I moved here in sixth grade."
"What a coincidence! I moved to Metropolis when I was in sixth grade. My dad had been injured, so they gave him a desk job at the Federal building while he got better. Then we went back to Fort Hood."
"That's in Texas?"
Lois nodded. "Killeen. Go Roos." She said halfheartedly, blushing as she did so.
Chloe grinned as she stood and walked across the room. "Over here in the files are all of the pictures that have ever been taken for the Torch - minus a few we lost in a fire at the beginning of the year . . ."
Clark and Lex went to the Talon and took a small table off to one side, where they could be seen patronizing the shop, but where no one could overhear them as they made their plans for the weekend.
"Chloe was thinking that we could go to a movie, as a group-friends thing," Clark began.
"Sounds great."
They continued discussing their plans for the weekend until Chloe bustled in, Lois trailing in her wake.
Ever the good, if terse, hostess, Chloe grabbed two chairs from an empty table nearby, and she and Lois joined them.
Clark, immediately on alert as soon as Lois arrived, stared at her as she sat down. And Lex noticed.
"Whatcha guys talking about?" Chloe asked.
"Just what movie we want to go see tonight."
Lois looked uncomfortable. "Oh, well, you're making plans for the evening. I'll just . . ."
She stood to leave, but Chloe grabbed her arm and hauled her back down to her seat. "Nonsense. It's a group friends thing, so you're welcome to join us if you'd like."
Lois looked uncertain. Until she looked at Clark. Then her demeanor changed. "Yeah. I'll go with you. Thanks for inviting me."
Pete circulated back towards the table. There was plenty of space on the end of the bench seat that Lex sat on, but instead, Pete chose to pull over another chair and sit between Clark and Lois. With his friend as a barrier between him and Lois, Clark relaxed. He'd never been so grateful for Pete's dislike of Lex before.
"What about Sorority Boys?" Lex suggested.
Pete wrinkled his nose. "Guys in drag? Ew."
"All right then," Chloe said cheerfully. "Blade II."
This time Lois looked offended. "Isn't that based on a comic book?"
"What's wrong with comic books?" Lex looked affronted.
"Nothing. It's just . . ." Lois shook her head, unable to explain her aversion.
Chloe sighed and looked down at the paper in front of her. "The re-release of E.T." she said decisively. "Anyone have a particular problem with religious allegory?"
"Religious allegory?" Clark asked.
Lois nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. E.T.'s a Christ figure."
"You're kidding! Isn't that, like, sacrilegious?" Clark looked scandalized.
"Only if you think The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is," Chloe countered.
"That, too?"
"Look, Clark, are you really offended, or just weirded out?"
"Actually, I was just yanking your chain. I knew all about that."
Chloe wadded up her napkin and threw it at Clark as Lex, Pete and Lois laughed.
"All right. So, E.T.?" Chloe asked.
Everyone nodded.
"There's a 7:00 show and a 9:30 show. I'd guess the 9:30 show lets out at midnight."
"Either's good for me," Lex said with a grin.
"Yeah, that's 'cause you don't have a curfew," Chloe said. "Mine's midnight, but I can get an extension if I need to."
"Mine's negotiable, as long as I don't get arrested," Pete added.
"Well, you know that I can always sleep in the Fortress. That way my parents will never know how late I was out."
Lex leaned backwards in his seat, silently bowing out of the curfew comparison.
Which just left Lois, who blushed. "Actually, I haven't been with Uncle Fred for a whole week yet. I have no idea when my curfew is."
"Can you give him a call?" Chloe reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone.
"Sure. But I have my own phone." Lois reached into her own bag and pulled out a phone.
"That's just weird," Pete whispered to Clark.
"What?"
"Lois is, like, Chloe, Part 2 or something."
Clark chuckled. "You can say that again." He glanced up at Lois then back at Lex to find Lex looking at him calculatingly.
"What?" he asked Lex.
"Later."
Lois hung up. "Uncle Fred says that I can only stay out until 11:00. Sorry."
The disappointment at the table was palpable, but everyone hastened to assure Lois that they weren't angry with her, just disappointed.
"Which means one thing," Chloe said. "We have to go to the 7:00, so, is everyone up for pizza?"
Pete nodded enthusiastically.
Clark said, "I've got to tell my Mom, but sure."
Lois hit redial on her phone.
Lex stood up. "Well, if we're not splitting up for dinner, I've got to get this," he indicated his briefcase, "back home. I'm not carrying it to the theater. Clark? You want to come with?"
Clark glanced back at the other three teens. "Sure. Um, you guys'll wait dinner for us?"
Chloe nodded. "We'll order for you in about twenty. The usual?"
Clark shot her a grin. "Thanks. We should be back by then."
"Don't hurry on our account," Chloe said in a sly tone.
Lex and Clark moved to the alley behind the Talon. Clark quickly scanned the area around them with x-ray vision to make sure they were alone as Lex slammed him up against the wall to kiss him.
"What . . . what brought that on?" Clark asked breathlessly.
"I saw you looking at her."
"Her? Oh! Lois!"
"Yes, her. I needed to reassure myself that you're here with me."
"Always." Clark reciprocated, pushing Lex against the wall and kissing him passionately.
As he kissed Lex, his mind filled with unbidden images of kissing Lois. Different times, different places, and he was certain it was him despite the fact that he was wearing glasses in the vision.
"Clark? You all right?" Lex's blue eyes were filled with concern as Lex cupped his hand around the side of Clark's face. "You weren't . . . there for a moment."
Clark shook himself as if to wake himself up. "Sorry. Just . . . thinking."
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"They're not even worth that."
"Nickel?"
"Come on, let's get moving. They'll only hold the pizza for 20 minutes." Clark started walking.
Lex caught up with him quickly. "I can keep this up until I find what the thought's worth. Dime?"
Clark shook his head in exasperation, laughing.
"A quarter?"
Pete had returned to his study date to explain that he'd be seeing her later, leaving Chloe and Lois alone.
Lois opened the conversation with, "He's cute."
"Pete?"
"Well, him, too, but I was thinking of Clark."
"Well, don't think of him too much, because he's off the market." When Lois looked at her, she continued, "I haven't taken him off the market." She snorted. "He's just not looking anymore."
"Well, a girl can look at him, can't she?" Lois asked wryly.
Chloe grinned. "Feel free. I find myself doing that a lot, too."
Monday, Clark arrived at his first-period biology class, stumbling into Lois in the doorway.
"I didn't know that you're in this class," Clark said.
Lois laughed. "Maybe we should compare schedules, so we don't get surprised like this again." She placed her hand on his arm, just above the elbow.
A tingle began where she held onto his arm and Clark was overwhelmed by desire. He threw his books to the floor, then pivoted her around so she was leaning against the wall inside the door.
"Clark!" she cried, a cross between a gasp and a moan, as he took her mouth with his.
Kissing Lois was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Warm and soft in all the right places, it was like kissing himself in a strange way that he'd never experienced with Lex.
He moved down to her neck. "Clark!" she sighed as he nipped and nuzzled.
"Clark!"
"Clark!"
"What?" Clark realized he was still standing in the doorway of the classroom, Lois's hand still on his arm. He abruptly realized that the 'kiss' had been another hallucination, like the one he'd had out back of the Talon. Only this had been much more realistic.
"Oh!" He blushed clear to the tips of his ears.
Mr. Scott, their biology teacher, came up behind him. "Your parents may have told you that you make a better door than a window, Mr. Kent, but I don't think they expected you to take it so literally." The science teacher grinned as Clark hurried to his seat next to Pete.
The bell marking the beginning of class rang, and Mr. Scott walked to where Lois stood by herself at the front of the room. "I'm afraid there's now an odd number of students in the class, so you'll be without a lab partner. You can sit here, though." He indicated an empty desk in the front of the room.
"Now, we were talking about the work of Gregor Mendel." He wrote the name on the board. "He was an Augustinian monk . . . "
After class, Clark took Chloe aside. "I think your friend Lois might be a candidate for the Wall of Weird."
"What?"
"It was the strangest thing. She put her hand on my elbow, and suddenly it was like I was kissing her."
"Kissing her?"
"Yes. Right there. Against the wall under the clock. I don't know what it means."
"Maybe it means that she's pretty, and you're attracted to her."
"Maybe, but . . . it just felt wrong, somehow."
"You should search deep in your heart . . ."
Not sure where Chloe was going with this, Clark asked, "Yeah?"
"And see if the wrongness you feel comes from the fantasy itself, or if you're just feeling guilty because of Lex," she finished bluntly.
"Come on, Chloe. Throw me a bone here. Something weird's going on. And no one's better at investigating weirdness than you are."
Chloe sighed. "All right. But you're going to owe me several after this."
Despite its population of over 45,000, Smallville was still very small-town in one respect -- everyone knew when someone moved into town. It took Chloe all of five minutes to find out that Fred and Lois had moved into "the Turner house on North Street."
The things I do for you, Clark. Chloe thought as she walked up to the front door of the quaint white-painted house.
She knocked firmly twice and waited, hoping that Lois would answer the door, rather than Fred Lane.
Fortunately, she got her wish. Her brunette bob swinging in the air, Lois answered the door. "Chloe! Hi! What brings you here?"
"Well, I sort of forgot what the English assignment was."
"Come in. It'll be a minute. My books are in Uncle Fred's office. I'd ask you to come in, but he's working in there, and he doesn't like to be disturbed."
"Sure." Chloe was thrilled. This couldn't have worked better if she'd planned it.
Lois held the door open wider and Chloe stepped inside.
"Why don't you have a seat in the living room? It's through there." She indicated a doorway to one side of the foyer.
"Thanks," Chloe said, sitting down.
Once Lois left, Chloe stood and began to wander around the room. She walked over to the fireplace, examining the photos on the mantel, feeling all the while like someone was watching her.
She turned to find the grandfather clock staring impassively back at her.
She continued looking. In the far corner of the living room, she found a photo album. Cursing herself for wasting time looking through photos, she nevertheless opened it and found something she never expected.
Pictures of Clark. Or someone who looked nearly identical to him. Only this man was older, and wore glasses. Intrigued, she continued snooping.
Older-Clark in a black cap and gown -- his tassel was crimson, which Chloe knew signified a degree from a school of journalism. Older-Clark in Metropolis, standing in front of the Daily Planet. Older-Clark standing next to an older version of Lois, dressed for their wedding . . .
BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!
Chloe jumped, hurriedly dropping the album back into its spot on the bookcase, spinning around to face the grandfather clock, which was ticking placidly away, reading 4:30.
4:30? But it just chimed 5:00.
Lois came out into the foyer then, "I'm so sorry about that. I should have warned you."
"What?"
"It's Uncle Fred's clock. It goes off for no apparent reason all the time. I should have told you that it's likely to do that. I asked him to have it fixed, but he won't. He says it's his security system." Lois laughed.
Chloe attempted to join in, but just couldn't. She couldn't shake the feeling that the clock had somehow . . . known that she was looking in that album, and had tried to stop her.
Another person came into the room, and Chloe found herself looking . . . down, into the eyes of the strangest-looking man she'd ever seen. Barely over four feet tall, he had a slate-gray U of hair teased out to fantastic proportions.
"Oh. I didn't know you had company," he said.
"I was just leaving." On a whim, Chloe added, "Mr. Lane."
"You seem to know my name, but I don't remember having been introduced." He fixed his eyes on her, and she realized that they had a strange color-changing quality, like opals.
"Oh. Chloe. Chloe Sullivan."
"Ah. I've heard quite a lot about you." Fred Lane nodded. "From Lois, of course," he added hastily.
He began to walk away, saying over his shoulder, "And now that we've been introduced, you must stay for dinner."
After school, a dispirited Clark trudged into Lex's study.
"Why the long face?" Lex asked, looking up from the computer screen in front of him.
"We need to talk."
Concerned, Lex stood and joined Clark on the sofa.
Clark took a deep breath and got right to the point. "Today in Biology, I thought about kissing Lois."
Lex forced out a laugh. "Is that all? Clark, if you want to explore relationships with girls, you know you can do that at any time. . . "
"Jeeze, Lex. We've been through this a million times. You always try to convince me that it'd be all right, when we both know that it wouldn't." Clark interrupted.
Clark's interruption tipped Lex over the edge into anger. "What do you want me to say? That I'm jealous? That just the thought of her looking at you makes me want to see how much money I'd have to bribe the Lowell County Board of Education with to be put into Smallville High School as a sophomore so I can show her that you belong to me?"
Lex was winding up to say something else, but Clark stopped him with a deep kiss. When he finally let Lex up for air, Lex said, "You like it when I'm jealous, huh?"
"Of course. Just like you liked it when I was jealous."
The night that Phelan had died, Clark had come to the castle to find that Victoria had moved in -- both into Lex's castle and into Lex's bed. Clark had gone into Lex's study and had carefully tipped the lamp off of his desk. It had hit the glass top with a clang, then had landed on the floor with a clatter.
It had been just a matter of seconds before Lex had come downstairs to investigate, and Clark had pounced. They'd been a couple -- an exclusive couple -- ever since.
"I want to warn you that if you actually do turn up in my Biology class, you will, of course, pay for it."
"Oh?" Lex asked archly, "How?"
"I already have a lab partner. Pete. The only un-partnered person in class is Lois." He grinned.
Then he got serious. "It's like the thing with Lana. That whole concert ticket and limo thing."
"Your point being?"
"That you're always trying to get me to explore or whatever. The non-date with Lana was incredibly uncomfortable. I don't need to experiment with girls, Lex."
"Clark . . ."
"Lex . . .," Clark mimicked. "Would you tell Lana that she needs to experiment with girls? Or Pete?"
"Pete can experiment with girls as much as he likes."
"You know what I mean. Just because my choice doesn't gibe with 90% of our culture doesn't make it any less valid."
"Choice?"
Clark nodded. "I don't know where my attraction to other men comes from, maybe people from my planet are more open, maybe I'm running the same odds as a human, but I chose you. And I always will."
Lex was saved from going all misty-eyed by the phone ringing. "Hello?"
"Hi, Dad?" a girl's voice asked.
"I'm afraid you have the wrong . . ."
"I'm over at Lois's house. Yes, Lois Lane," the girl enunciated very clearly. "And they've invited me for dinner."
Lex scribbled Chloe at Lois'? on a piece of paper and showed it to Clark, who nodded.
"No. You come right home this minute, Chloe. I've been waiting dinner for you," Lex said in what he hoped was his best fatherly tone.
"I know, Dad. I'm really sorry and I'll be right home. Though since I'm on foot, it might take me a while to get home. . . ."
Lex sighed, much as he'd imagine that Gabe would if Chloe had left him holding dinner for her. "Would you like us, er, me to come pick you up?"
"Oh, yes, please!"
"Sit tight. Um, where is Lois's house, exactly?"
"It's the old Turner place on North Street."
Knowing that he had to get this down quickly, before Fred Lane figured out she wasn't talking to a native, Lex hurriedly scrawled, Turner? N. Street??, and showed it to Clark.
Clark nodded his understanding.
"I'll be there in a minute. Sweetie." Lex said this last through gritted teeth as he hung up.
"Ready?"
Clark nodded. "The old Turner place is about ten minutes away from here. Less, the way you drive."
"Smart ass."
They headed for the door, but were stopped by Margaret, the cook. "Oh, Mr. Luthor. You aren't having dinner at home tonight? It's almost done."
"Hold it for us. We should be back in, oh, say, five minutes." He winked at Clark, who rolled his eyes.
Seven minutes later, they were in one of Lex's less-obvious cars, a Mercedes, parked in front of Fred Lane's white clapboard house. Chloe came to the door when they drove up, smiling and waving gaily behind her as she tripped down the stairs and into the car.
"Get me out of here," Chloe said as soon as she was in the car. Clark was in the back seat so that he wouldn't have to get out of the car.
"So?" Clark asked once they were away from the house.
"Definitely weird. Clark, do you think it's possible that Lois is your sister?"
Clark snorted. "No."
"Are you absolutely sure? You see, I found some pictures there. Pictures of, well, it looked like you, but older. And wearing glasses. You, or whoever it was, were graduating from journalism school. Undergrad. You had a crimson tassel. And getting married. To a woman who looked like Lois.
"So, you see? They could be your parents. And Lois's parents. And Fred and Lois might be here to get you. Or at least to introduce you to your sister."
"Wouldn't that make that weird . . . fantasy some kind of Luke and Leia thing? Ew." Clark asked.
"I guess. But maybe you felt the connection to her and didn't understand it. Like Luke did." When both men were silent, she said, "What? It could happen."
"Chloe. I'm almost positive that I don't have any living relatives left," Clark said.
"How could you possibly know that?"
"I just do. It's one of those feelings, you know?"
"It's just . . ."
"Chloe. Drop it," Lex said, cutting short Chloe's interrogation.
"So? Did you find anything else?"
She shook her head. "Just a watch clock I guess."
"A watch clock?" Clark asked, then quipped, "Is it a watch or is it a clock?"
"No. Like a watch dog. I had this weird feeling like I was being watched, and then when I was looking through the photo album, it suddenly chimed 5:00, even though it was only 4:30."
"Sounds like it was broken to me," Lex said dismissively.
"No. It was really weird. Lois even told me that her uncle considers it a sort of security system." She paused. "All right, she seemed like she was joking, but what if she wasn't?"
"So you honestly think that this Fred Lane has invented some kind of AI that can tell when a visitor has overstepped his or her bounds, and has chosen to use it for his own security, rather than selling it on the open market?" Lex asked skeptically.
"I don't know what it is. I just know what I went through. And remember, this is Smallville. Nothing's too odd to happen here."
Lex laughed, conceding her point.
After they'd dropped Chloe at home, Lex and Clark headed for the castle.
"You don't suppose she could be your sister," Lex began.
"Not unless I come from a planet where we have some kind of mating urges for our siblings," Clark snapped. He winced, realizing what he had just said to his lover. "I mean, that's what it was like, like some kind of preprogrammed mating instinct or something. There was no real attraction, and I certainly didn't choose her. And anyway," he grinned, "she said that the guy who looks like me was dressed like a human. Now, if she'd said that they were dressed like the Jetsons, with hovercars in the background and everything, I might buy it. No. There has to be another explanation."
Tuesday after school, Clark went, as usual, to the Talon. He was long over his crush on Lana, but they were still friends, and so he frequented the Talon every chance he got. And refused Lana's offer of his refreshments on the house every time.
He walked around the stand of potted palm trees that separated the smoking and non-smoking sections, nearly colliding with Lois, who was coming the other way.
Only his enhanced reflexes kept him from dropping his coffee onto the floor.
"Lois!" he exclaimed.
"Hi." Lois smiled back shyly.
"You want to join me? I was just . . . " He felt a strange pull towards her and started babbling. "I was just going to sit over there and wait for my date. 'Cause, you know, I'm seeing someone."
Lois continued smiling. "Chloe mentioned that."
He found it harder to articulate as the tugging got steadily worse. "Though we've never been, you know, open about our . . . ."
Lois's jaw dropped, as she interrupted him. "She's not, like, twelve or something?"
"What? No! Of course not! She's, well, she's a he." He was speaking really quickly now, trying to explain that whatever compulsion this was, it really wouldn't work out.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Clark dropped his coffee, spilling the scalding liquid all over his right foot. A little voice in the back of his head told him he should be thankful for invulnerable ankles, but right then it was too important to close the space between him and Lois, pulling her upwards to him for a kiss.
And this kiss was everything the fantasy-kiss had been, and more. Clark couldn't believe he'd ever thought of kissing anyone else. This was right. It was true love. It had to be.
These thoughts lasted all of five seconds, whereupon they were replaced by an awareness of a loud popping sound, like Rice Krispies on acid. Unable to resist, he cracked an eye open to look for the source of the sound, looking up just in time to see one, lone, shiny red heart drift upwards from the air above them, bursting like a bubble once it reached the tops of the palm trees.
Sensing that Clark wasn't with her, Lois pulled back from the kiss. She blinked, her eyes widening in shock. "I don't know what came over me . . ." she whispered. "Please forgive me."
Then she turned and ran. Clark followed her for the first ten feet, but stopped when he realized Lex was standing at the end of the row of trees.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough."
"I . . . I don't know what happened. That wasn't me kissing her."
Lex arched an eyebrow.
"Look. I remember what you said. If I want to experiment with girls, you'd let me. Why would I sneak around to do it? And why would there be these . . . bubble hearts floating above my head as I do it?"
Lex laughed out loud. "Bubble hearts? Literally?"
Clark nodded. "Red ones."
"Do you think she could be some kind of meteor mutant, or siren or something?"
Clark shrugged. "All I know is that there's something very strange about both Lois and Fred Lane. Now, if you'll excuse me," he ducked in to kiss Lex quickly, "I've got to go get a mop to clean that up." He indicated the puddle of spilled coffee behind him.
Lois was running by the time she got to the door of the Talon. She jogged around a person standing in the doorway.
"Lois?" The voice brought her up short. Lois looked back and saw that the person she'd narrowly avoided was Chloe.
"Oh. Chloe. Hi," Lois responded with a false smile, wondering idly if her face would crack if she held that expression too long.
"Hi. Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Fine."
"You don't look fine. Do you want to talk? We could go in and sit down." She indicated the door of the Talon.
Lois's eyes widened. "No. I . . . It wouldn't be a good idea."
"All right." Chloe nodded. "How about the park benches down by the courthouse?"
Lois debated just going on about her business, but she decided she needed to talk to someone, and Chloe was her closest friend in town. She nodded. "Sure."
Soon, they were seated in the square around the courthouse. Lois turned slightly in her seat to face Chloe. "It's Clark."
"What about him?"
"Well, I'm sort of . . . drawn to him. I'd say that I'm in love with him, but . . . I don't really know him. And then today I kissed him. He kissed me. We kissed."
Chloe's eyes widened. "When did that happen?"
"About five minutes ago."
"Oh, God. Did you see Lex Luthor? Or, more to the point, did he see you?"
"Lex Luthor? Why would . . . oh, my God. He's Clark's boyfriend. I mean, he told me that he was seeing someone. A guy. But it never occurred to me that it was Lex Luthor."
Chloe nodded. "Not many people know that they're a couple. It's pretty much just me, and Pete, and Clark's mom and dad."
"I'm . . . I'm really scared, Chloe. Not of Mr. Luthor, but of . . . whatever made me kiss Clark. I don't know him at all, but I feel this weird compulsion, like I want to settle down with him or something."
"Well, all I guess I can say is, 'Welcome to Smallville, home of weird, scary compulsions.'"
"I tell you, Lex. It was odd. Like I wasn't in control of myself."
"You didn't see anything green and glowing, did you?"
"I said I felt out of control, not sick, Lex." Clark responded snappishly.
Lex arched his eyebrows at Clark. "You tell me how someone would be able to harm you without the meteors, and I'll withdraw my question."
Clark shrugged. "But the meteors had changed Kyle and Rickman, and they couldn't make me do things like they did to, well, you, and Dad, and things."
"Thanks for the reminder," Lex said dryly.
"My point is that that kind of mind control isn't possible even with the meteors, so it's got to be something else."
Chloe joined them then. "Hi. Can I sit down?"
Clark shrugged listlessly. "Sure."
"I was talking to Lois outside. She told me that she kissed you."
Clark nodded. "Yep."
"She also said that she had no idea what came over her."
"Join the club," Lex responded.
"I sort of explained that weird things happen here in Smallville all the time, and that she obviously got caught in one of them."
"We were just trying to figure that one out ourselves."
"It is kind of strange, though," Chloe said, "I saw that picture of someone who looks like you, and someone who looks like Lois, dressed for a wedding, and now this . . . ."
"I was wearing glasses in those pictures, right?"
"Right."
"Well, when this whole thing started, I saw myself, in like a vision, kissing Lois. I was wearing glasses."
The trio looked at each other. Suddenly, without another word, Lex stood and left the table.
"Where's he going?" Chloe asked.
Clark shrugged. Then his eyes widened. "Lois's house. Fred Lane must be behind all of this."
They stood and ran to the door. As they stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine, they saw Lex's car tearing down the road towards Fred Lane's house.
"Do you have your car?" Clark asked.
"Nope. You?"
"No."
"Well, looks like we have to walk. Fortunately, it's only about half a mile away."
Together, they headed off towards Fred Lane's house. The whole way, Clark wondered how he could get rid of Chloe, because he suspected that some of his secrets would come out, if only because he'd have to use his gifts to protect Lex from Fred. Or possibly to protect Fred from Lex.
Lex pulled up in front of Fred Lane's house with a screech of tires. With speed born of years of practice, he unbuckled his seat belt, disengaged the keys and by the time the car door slammed shut behind him, he was halfway up the front walk.
Without knocking, he opened the door of the house and stepped in. "All right, Lane! Where are you?" he yelled.
Fred came down the hallway. "Good afternoon. . . Lex."
Lex had been told how short Fred was, but he hadn't really absorbed the information until confronted with it face-to-navel. His ire was such that he didn't even let that slow him down. "What are you doing to Clark Kent?"
"I'm not doing anything to Clark Kent."
Lex looked around, quickly finding what he thought must be the photo album that Chloe had found. "Oh, yeah?" He paged through it to find the wedding photo that Chloe had mentioned.
He had to fight back the pain the overcame him at the sight of the man he loved marrying someone else. There was no time for that. "What about this, then?"
The grandfather clock started chiming the hour, even though it was quarter 'til. "Stop that," Fred demanded, and the clock subsided into silence.
"Oh, that," Fred responded in a careless manner. "I told you I'm not doing anything to them. I'm doing this for them. Look at them," he demanded.
"I've seen them already."
"Then you've seen what I've seen. What I know. Clark and Lois were made for each other. Literally."
Clark and Chloe burst through the door then.
"Ah, Clark Kent. You just don't look the same without your glasses," Fred said conversationally. He took the book from Lex and held it out for Clark. "See? Don't you look good together?"
"I don't love Lois, Mr. Lane. I love Lex."
"Yes." Fred's lips pursed with distaste. "I know. What you don't realize is that you're screwing the whole thing up!" The small man started bouncing up and down with rage as he said this. "You're not supposed to be lovers! You're supposed to be enemies! Who the hell is going to be Superman's arch-nemesis, if Lex Luthor is his lover!!" He was clearing the floor by a good three feet by now, his face flushed bright red.
"Mr. Lane, please calm down . . ." Clark began, stepping towards him.
"Don't call me that! My name is Mxyzptlk and don't you forget it!"
The room fell silent.
"Go, all of you," Mxyzptlk demanded. "Just go!"
As if they were marionettes, Clark, Lex and Chloe turned and left the house.
Once they were outside, volitional control returned to their bodies.
"Okay. That was weird. Even for Smallville," Chloe said.
"Mxyzptlk?" Clark asked. "What kind of name is that?"
"I'll get on the Internet and look it up," Chloe said. "Once I can figure out how to spell it." She grinned wryly.
Lois came up the sidewalk then. "Hey, guys. What's up?" She looked from Clark, Chloe and Lex up the sidewalk towards the house.
"Oh, nothing," Clark said.
"We were just taking a walk," Chloe added.
Then, together, they headed off down the street.
Lois looked at Lex's Jaguar parked at the curb, shrugged, and went inside.
After Lois had gone inside, the trio crossed the street and walked back to Lois's house, crossed the street again and got into Lex's car.
Lois, watching out the window, saw them drive away.
Lex dropped Chloe at home, where she promised to start researching Mxyzptlk on the Internet immediately. "I'll call you if I find anything."
"Thanks," Clark said with a smile as he closed the car door.
"When we get home, I'm going to call a contact of my own. I get the feeling that information on this Mxyzptlk character won't be found on the Internet."
Lex and Clark returned to Luthor Castle, and as Clark got down to his homework, Lex made a phone call. "Halfrek? Lex Luthor."
"Yes, it's great hearing your voice again, too. How long's it been?"
"Three years already? My, how time flies."
"No, I don't need your services. I'm looking for information. Although . . . . What do you know about a character named Mxyzptlk?"
"Oh. That doesn't sound good."
"And you couldn't . . . ?"
"Yeah. I figured as much. Any hints you can give me?"
"Well, that sounds easy as falling off a log."
"I know. I'll find a way. Thanks, Halfrek. Oh, and can I sacrifice anything for you?"
"And then set fire to the blood? No problem. Thanks."
"We're having chicken tomorrow for dinner. You interested?" Lex asked as he hung up.
"You're going to set fire to chicken blood?" Clark asked in a slightly nauseated tone.
"Actually, does your father have any chickens for sale, by any chance?"
Clark blanched.
"I'm kidding Clark. I've got my own source for live chickens."
Clark looked at him, not sure if he was joking or not.
"Look, Clark, Halfrek's a demon."
"A demon." Clark repeated Lex's words back to him disbelievingly.
"A vengeance demon, specifically. You know," he added half to himself, "I never really thought about magic much, but it's always interesting who you meet in clubs . . ."
Clark cleared his throat, drawing Lex's attention back to their conversation. "I thought it was dangerous to consort with demons."
"Don't worry. She isn't out for her own vengeance. She exacts the vengeance of humans on each other. When she's not on the job, she's just a regular person. A regular person with a sort of unusual appearance, granted."
"And a taste for chicken blood."
Lex shrugged, neither admitting nor denying the truth of Clark's statement. "Look at it this way. If a friend did something to help you, wouldn't it make sense to give her a gift to thank her?"
"Um, sure."
"That's all it is, Clark. Just a token of my appreciation."
Clark sighed and Lex could see him fighting back more questions.
"Look. Magic is very real, and when you have a contact in the field, you . . . use it."
Lex continued, hitting his stride. "I suspected that was what we were up against as soon as you said that you didn't see anything green and glowing. I mean, bullets, and cars, bounce off of you, but they're mechanical. I figured that just maybe you'd be as vulnerable to magic as the rest of us."
"And that's what this is?"
Lex nodded. "Turns out Mxy," he paused at the look of amusement on Clark's face at the nickname, "he's apparently a pretty dangerous character. Not dangerous in a mafia sense, but dangerous in the sense that he has almost unlimited power, and, well, if he's not insane, he at least has a very odd sense of humor.
"He's also sort of devoted, in a twisted way. Once he's chosen an object for his attentions, he continues badgering that person for the rest of his or her life."
"So we'll never be rid of him."
"We can get rid of him. Temporarily, at least."
"How temporarily?"
"Ninety days. A minimum of ninety days," Lex hastened to add quickly. "All we have to do is trick him into saying his name backwards."
Clark sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "And how the hell are we going to do that?"
"I don't know." Lex sighed. "But I'm sure we'll think of something."
The next day at school, Clark and Chloe caught each other up on their investigation.
"Absolutely nothing on any spelling of Mxyzptlk I could come up with," Chloe said, sighing.
"Actually, Lex and I did have some luck. On a hunch, he called a . . . friend. Turns out, she knew something about Mxy."
"Mxy?" Chloe laughed.
"Lex's nickname for him." Clark grinned. "Turns out the things he's been doing are magic-based. He tends to fixate on one person for that person's lifespan -- something tells me that person is me -- but he can be gotten rid of for periods of at least ninety days."
"So? How?"
"We have to get him to say his name backwards."
Chloe snorted. "Oh. That's going to work."
"Well? It's the only idea we've got going right now."
"So how do we expect him to go for it? A crossword puzzle?" Chloe snapped.
Just then, Lois walked into the room. "Hey. I won't be able to work on the Torch today, Chlo."
"Why not?"
Lois sighed peevishly. "I blew it in driver's ed today. I have to go home and get Uncle Fred to take me out to practice."
Clark smiled, but he stopped when he saw the light go on in Chloe's eyes. "What?" he mouthed at her.
"Play along," she whispered back. "Actually, Lois, we need to talk to you about something."
"I've really got to run."
"This'll only take a few minutes. Then I can drive you home and you'll get home the same time you would have if you'd walked."
Lois narrowed her eyes at Chloe suspiciously, but sat down.
"What would you say if I told you that, well, that we know why some of the strange things that have been going on have been going on."
"I thought you said it was because it's Smallville."
"Right. But more immediate than that. Proximate cause, as it were. Um, you see, OK. It's like this. I nearly froze to death once because it was Smallville. But the actual cause of it was Sean, with whom I was going out."
"Right. Or the sort of crash diet that Pete almost went on once, because it was Smallville, but it was really because his date, Jodi, tried to suck the fat out of him," Clark added.
"Yeah." Chloe was really warmed up now. "Or when Clark's dad sold the family farm because Bob Rickman had taken over his mind and made him do it." She emphasized the words taken over his mind and made, hoping that Lois would catch her point.
And it had apparently worked. "You think that someone has taken over Clark's and my minds?"
"Actually, we're pretty certain of it," Clark added.
"All right. And who's taken over our minds?"
Clark sighed. "Your uncle Fred."
Lois stood and headed for the door. "I'm not going to listen to this. You two are insane."
Clark put on an almost-imperceptible burst of superspeed and interposed himself between Lois and the door. "Just hear us out, please? You don't lose anything from listening to us."
When Lois looked frustrated he stepped to one side. "You can go if you want."
"No. I'll listen. What do you want to say?"
"When your uncle Fred takes you out driving, just give him some written directions," she looked up at Clark, who smiled encouragingly, "with one of the directions being to turn onto. . . ."
She looked at Clark again, who hastily wrote Kltpzyxm, on a piece of paper and handed it to her.
"This?" Lois asked, startled.
"Right. Write it down in a set of directions, North Street to Fifteenth, to, I don't know, Main, to Kl . . . whatever. And have him read it to you. You can't tell him about the Kl-whatever thing, though. It has to be a surprise." Chloe said.
"And what will happen when he reads that line of the directions?"
Chloe shrugged. "Either nothing, or . . . something. I can't promise anything."
"And this will get my mind back?" Lois asked. Then, a light dawned. "Lucy! I've got a sister. Why would Uncle Fred, or whoever he is, take me in and not her, if my parents are stationed somewhere dangerous?" She furrowed her brow. "Maybe there really is something to this."
"Maybe," Clark said. Things were out of his hands now, and being with Lex had taught him never to just trust that others would do the job right, so he was extremely nervous.
"Here. Let me write down the directions," Lois said, taking the pad of paper and pen from Clark. Soon she had a series of instructions that would take her deeper into her subdivision. One-third of the way through the directions, she carefully wrote Turn left on Kltpzyxm Drive.
"You ready?" Chloe asked as Lois finished writing.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Lois said as she stood.
"Good luck," Clark said as Chloe and Lois left.
Half an hour later, Clark's cell phone rang. It was Lex. "Hey," Clark answered it with a smile.
"What's up? Anything new with our . . . friend?"
Lex was being awfully circumspect, so Clark decided to follow his love's example. "Actually, yes. Hopefully. I told Chloe what we found out last night, and she was inspired. Lois is helping us."
"Lois! What . . . I mean, is that wise?"
"Look. Can I come over? It makes me nervous, talking about this here."
"Well, I'm at the office."
"Don't worry. I know where that is," Clark said, grinning.
Lois had stalled for the last half hour. She sat at the desk in her room, working on her homework, the three by five card with the directions sitting in front of her.
Finally, she decided it was now or never. She wanted to get back to her parents and her sister. Wherever they were.
Steeling herself, she stuck the card in her purse and went downstairs to the office where Mxyzptlk was at the drafting table. For the first time, Lois realized that the drawings he was making didn't make any sense. It was like he was plotting the support structure for paintings by M.C. Escher.
She cleared her throat. "Um, Uncle Fred?"
Mxyzptlk turned to her, smiling. "Yes, my dear."
"I sort of messed up big time in driver's ed, and was wondering if you could take me out to practice? The teacher told me to drive at least a mile one way, and so I plotted out a route that is about that much."
The smile turned into a beam. "Of course. Where's the route?"
"I wrote it down. I'll give it to you in the car."
Once they were in the car, Lois put it in gear and headed up North Street, making sure she was apparently engrossed in her driving before saying, "Oh. Can you get the card out of my purse, please?"
"Of course." Mxyzptlk opened the purse and took the card out.
"Go west to Fifteenth street and make a right."
Lois carefully signaled and turned.
"Good. Now go north for two blocks to Maple and make a left."
A car was coming up Maple, so Lois had to wait, and she took the opportunity to look at her 'uncle.' He was watching oncoming traffic warily, so she breathed a silent sigh of relief. Perhaps he wouldn't notice the trick line until it was too late.
When it was clear, Lois turned.
"Excellent. Now, go to Kltpzyxm . . . . Oh, shoot!" His eyes widened, and with a small pop, he disappeared.
Lois had been driving very slowly, in case something happened to the car. Apparently, the car was real, for it didn't disappear with Mxyzptlk. She cautiously pulled over to the side of the road and got out, her legs shaking. She walked over to the curb and sat down hard.
Suddenly, her memories came back to her. She pulled the cell phone out of her purse and dialed. I didn't even notice that this phone has a 210 area code, she marveled.
Two rings later, her mother picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Mom? It's me. Lois."
"Oh, my God. What the hell happened? I just suddenly realized that you've been missing since . . . Friday?"
Lois nodded, even though she knew her mother couldn't see her. "Yeah. It's really complicated, but for what it's worth, I haven't missed a day of school. Of course, it's the wrong school, but . . . . "
"Where are you?"
"Um, Kansas?" she admitted sheepishly. "Like I said, it's complicated. But I'll be right home as soon as I can make the arrangements."
"Do you have a boyfriend, sweetie? Is that what happened?"
"Oh! No! Nothing like that! God, Mom! No. It's just difficult to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself."
"Well, all right, dear. Call us as soon as you know something."
"I will." After she hung up, it amazed Lois how quickly her mother lapsed into pretending that nothing unusual had happened. She just hoped her folks wouldn't have her committed when she explained what had happened.
She dialed Chloe's number, for the first time noticing the 785 area code. Chloe answered in the middle of the first ring. "So? What happened?" she asked.
"It worked. He's gone, and apparently my family's in San Antonio. My dad's stationed at Fort Sam there."
She could hear Chloe's smile, as she asked, "So, what now?"
"Now, I was hoping you could come pick me up. I don't think I'm strong enough to get anywhere under my own steam right now."
"Where, exactly, are you?"
"Maple between Fifteenth and Sixteenth."
"I'll be there in five."
Sure enough, five minutes later, Chloe pulled up alongside where Lois sat on the curb. She opened her door and stood. "Going my way?" She yelled across the roof of the car.
Lois smiled up at her. "Yeah." She stood and climbed into the car.
"So?" Chloe asked once they were on the road.
"He's gone." Lois shrugged, still looking distant. "And he made me forget so much."
The pain in Lois's voice caught Chloe. "You wanna talk about it?"
"My folks are in Texas, not Bialya. I was supposed to have a date over the weekend, which I missed because I was here. My parents forgot I existed."
Chloe pulled over and released her seatbelt, pulling Lois to her, holding her as she cried.
When Lois stopped crying, Chloe said, "They didn't forget about you. It was a spell."
"I know," Lois sniffled. "But it still hurts."
Lois sat back up and both girls put their seatbelts back on.
"Where to now?" Lois asked.
Chloe pulled out her cell phone and handed it to Lois. "Call Clark. Speed dial 3. Find out where he is."
Lois dialed. A moment later, Clark answered. Hi, Chloe.
"Actually, it's Lois."
Oh. Lois. How are you? How did things go?
"He's gone. Chloe said for me to find out where you are."
I'm in Lex's office.
"He's in Lex's office," Lois said to Chloe.
Chloe nodded. "Ask if we can meet them there. We'll tell them everything, well, you'll tell them everything, when we get there."
I heard her. There was a smile in Clark's voice. Can they meet us here? A pause. Yeah. You can meet us here.
"Good. We'll be there in," Lois looked at Chloe.
"Mmm. About ten minutes," Chloe responded.
"About ten minutes?" Lois asked Clark.
"We'll be waiting."
"Thanks." Lois hung up. "They'll be there."
What seemed like mere moments later, Lex and Clark heard voices outside the office door. The phone on Lex's desk chimed. "Mr. Luthor?"
"Yes, Iris?"
"Chloe Sullivan and a Lois Lane are here to see you?"
"I'm expecting them. Show them in."
Moments later, Chloe and Lois came into the room. Chloe dragged a chair over from the conference table and they threw themselves into their chairs. "Well, it's over," Chloe sighed.
"So? What happened?" Clark asked, as Lois launched into the tale of her adventure.
After she was finished, Clark let out a low whistle of admiration.
"Very well done, Lois," Lex beamed. "Now, not to rush you, but you must really want to get home."
Lois nodded enthusiastically. "Yes."
Lex tapped his pen on the desk. "Metropolis to Dallas runs about two hours, plus travel time to Metropolis. I won't be driving, so that's another three hours there, plus Dallas to San Antonio. That's a total of six hours. And you probably wouldn't be able to leave until tomorrow morning. I don't know how late the San Antonio airport is open. What would you say if I could shave that down to about three, and you could leave tonight?"
Lois was struck dumb. "I . . . You . . . How?"
"Helicopter to Metropolis, that's one hour, plus two, two and a half by chartered jet to San Antonio. You think your folks'll be available to pick you up at nine?"
Lois nodded. "Yes. They'll be thrilled."
"Good. I'll just make the arrangements, then."
Half an hour later, Clark and Lex watched the LuthorCorp helicopter flying east, carrying Lois towards Metropolis. Lex leaned back against Clark's shoulder.
"Arch-nemesis?" Clark asked, chuckling.
"What? Don't you think I'd be enough of a challenge?"
"Oh, you'd be enough of a challenge, all right. I just have a hard time imagining myself as being someone who could have an arch-nemesis."
"Hey! Enough with the self-doubt. I'd be honored, and truly challenged, to have you as an enemy."
"Thank you. I think."
They lapsed into silence for a moment. "Do you suppose things between us could ever deteriorate to that point?" Clark asked.
Lex wrapped an arm around Clark's waist. "I suppose back when we first started going out, they could have. Back when we were hiding things from each other. That might even be what happened. I loved you desperately, but knew you were lying to me. That knowledge would eat at me, until I crossed that proverbial line between love and hate."
Clark narrowed his eyes at Lex. "Have you been thinking this over?"
"Not at all. It's just the simplest thing that came to mind. Or maybe I blame you for losing my hair. After all, you were clearly an active agent in causing it when you were a toddler. I mean, because you sneaked into my bedroom -- at the age of three -- with one of those home electrolysis thingies and . . . ."
Lex stopped in mid-theory, Clark cutting off the flow of words with his own mouth. He concentrated all of his love and his hope, his affection and his faith, in his kiss as he pulled Lex closer.
"So, ninety days?" Clark asked, pulling away and getting back to business.
"At least ninety days." Lex corrected. "If you, or I, am the one he's fixated on."
"No way it's Lois."
Lex shrugged. "You never know. Maybe Mxy thinks she's prettier than we are."
Clark laughed, wrapping his arms loosely around Lex's waist.
"Who do you think is the most imaginative writer out there today?"
Clark shrugged. "Jim Rigney?"
"How much do you think he'd ask to be brought on board?"
"Why?"
"Well, one of the three of us is going to need that Kl . . . whatever word again. I just thought it'd be nice to be prepared."
Author: PepperjackCandy
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Lex/Clark, Clark/f,
Category: Drama, Romance, AU
Spoilers for: Assorted Season 1 eps
Disclaimer: Assorted characters from DC comics and/or Smallville are included. Don't own them. One character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer is included. Don't own her, either. Any resemblance to the Roswell (which I don't own) Destiny storyline is purely intentional.
Thanks: Thank you to Plumeria and LaCasta for beta.
A/N: According to , Blade II, Sorority Boys and the re-release of E.T. all came out in mid-March of 2002.
Lois is played by Teri Hatcher, and her Uncle Fred is Armin Shimerman
============
Clark and Chloe were hard at work in the office of the Torch. Hard at work, that is, discussing their plans for the weekend.
Clark shook his head. "I think we'll have to talk to Lex about this. And Pete. We can't make any plans without him."
"Don't worry about Pete. You know he'll go along with anything we suggest. And if he doesn't like the movie we choose, we just have to supersize his popcorn for him."
"Excuse me." A girl's voice interrupted their knowing laughter.
"May we help you?" Chloe asked.
A young woman with collar-length brown hair came into the room sheepishly. "Mr. Kwan told me that I could come here and you'd sort of . . . show me the ropes.
"That is," she added as an afterthought, "if you are Chloe Sullivan?"
Chloe nodded. "You're the new girl. Mr. Kwan said that you'd stop by at the end of the day."
The brunette nodded. "Lois Lane." She held out a hand for Chloe to shake.
"Chloe Sullivan. Right now, all of the beats are assigned, so you'll mostly be covering for the other staff. Speaking of, this is Clark Kent. He's one-third of our staff."
Clark, feeling even taller, ganglier, and more ungainly than usual, nodded. "Hi." He had the oddest feeling of déjà vu.
Lois smiled at him broadly. "Nice to meet you."
"You too. I'll be going, Chloe. Chores, and, you know, stuff."
"Well, say 'hi' to stuff for me," Chloe said cheerily as Clark tried to keep from tripping over his feet as he left the room.
He hurried outside, where Lex was waiting in yet another foreign sports car. Clark felt bad about making him wait, but as he drew closer, he realized Lex was on the phone.
Clark grinned. Time to rescue his boyfriend from work, apparently.
He opened the car door, and sat down quietly, meeting Lex's eyes briefly as he did so.
"Well, my meeting's about to start, so I'd better run. Talk to you later." With that, Lex hung up.
Clark closed the car door and leaned across to kiss Lex quickly. "Chloe says hi."
"So, what brings you to Smallville?" Chloe asked as she closed the story files she'd been working on before she and Clark got sidetracked talking about the weekend.
Lois shrugged. "My folks move around a lot - my dad's in the Army - and he got stationed in Bialya. Anyway, my Uncle Fred offered to take me in so I could stay in the U.S., since things are heating up in Bialya again. And this way I can get my driver's license this year."
"You don't have your driver's license?"
"No. I mean, I'm only fifteen."
Chloe smiled. "Most of the kids around here drive before then." She shrugged. "Farm kids. They've got special permits to drive to help their parents. Clark's one."
"He's a tall drink of water." Lois said with admiration in her tone.
"Yep. They grow them big around here. I think it's all that fresh air." Chloe shuddered theatrically.
"Not your thing?"
"Nope. I'm a city girl. Born and raised in Metropolis. I moved here in sixth grade."
"What a coincidence! I moved to Metropolis when I was in sixth grade. My dad had been injured, so they gave him a desk job at the Federal building while he got better. Then we went back to Fort Hood."
"That's in Texas?"
Lois nodded. "Killeen. Go Roos." She said halfheartedly, blushing as she did so.
Chloe grinned as she stood and walked across the room. "Over here in the files are all of the pictures that have ever been taken for the Torch - minus a few we lost in a fire at the beginning of the year . . ."
Clark and Lex went to the Talon and took a small table off to one side, where they could be seen patronizing the shop, but where no one could overhear them as they made their plans for the weekend.
"Chloe was thinking that we could go to a movie, as a group-friends thing," Clark began.
"Sounds great."
They continued discussing their plans for the weekend until Chloe bustled in, Lois trailing in her wake.
Ever the good, if terse, hostess, Chloe grabbed two chairs from an empty table nearby, and she and Lois joined them.
Clark, immediately on alert as soon as Lois arrived, stared at her as she sat down. And Lex noticed.
"Whatcha guys talking about?" Chloe asked.
"Just what movie we want to go see tonight."
Lois looked uncomfortable. "Oh, well, you're making plans for the evening. I'll just . . ."
She stood to leave, but Chloe grabbed her arm and hauled her back down to her seat. "Nonsense. It's a group friends thing, so you're welcome to join us if you'd like."
Lois looked uncertain. Until she looked at Clark. Then her demeanor changed. "Yeah. I'll go with you. Thanks for inviting me."
Pete circulated back towards the table. There was plenty of space on the end of the bench seat that Lex sat on, but instead, Pete chose to pull over another chair and sit between Clark and Lois. With his friend as a barrier between him and Lois, Clark relaxed. He'd never been so grateful for Pete's dislike of Lex before.
"What about Sorority Boys?" Lex suggested.
Pete wrinkled his nose. "Guys in drag? Ew."
"All right then," Chloe said cheerfully. "Blade II."
This time Lois looked offended. "Isn't that based on a comic book?"
"What's wrong with comic books?" Lex looked affronted.
"Nothing. It's just . . ." Lois shook her head, unable to explain her aversion.
Chloe sighed and looked down at the paper in front of her. "The re-release of E.T." she said decisively. "Anyone have a particular problem with religious allegory?"
"Religious allegory?" Clark asked.
Lois nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah. E.T.'s a Christ figure."
"You're kidding! Isn't that, like, sacrilegious?" Clark looked scandalized.
"Only if you think The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is," Chloe countered.
"That, too?"
"Look, Clark, are you really offended, or just weirded out?"
"Actually, I was just yanking your chain. I knew all about that."
Chloe wadded up her napkin and threw it at Clark as Lex, Pete and Lois laughed.
"All right. So, E.T.?" Chloe asked.
Everyone nodded.
"There's a 7:00 show and a 9:30 show. I'd guess the 9:30 show lets out at midnight."
"Either's good for me," Lex said with a grin.
"Yeah, that's 'cause you don't have a curfew," Chloe said. "Mine's midnight, but I can get an extension if I need to."
"Mine's negotiable, as long as I don't get arrested," Pete added.
"Well, you know that I can always sleep in the Fortress. That way my parents will never know how late I was out."
Lex leaned backwards in his seat, silently bowing out of the curfew comparison.
Which just left Lois, who blushed. "Actually, I haven't been with Uncle Fred for a whole week yet. I have no idea when my curfew is."
"Can you give him a call?" Chloe reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone.
"Sure. But I have my own phone." Lois reached into her own bag and pulled out a phone.
"That's just weird," Pete whispered to Clark.
"What?"
"Lois is, like, Chloe, Part 2 or something."
Clark chuckled. "You can say that again." He glanced up at Lois then back at Lex to find Lex looking at him calculatingly.
"What?" he asked Lex.
"Later."
Lois hung up. "Uncle Fred says that I can only stay out until 11:00. Sorry."
The disappointment at the table was palpable, but everyone hastened to assure Lois that they weren't angry with her, just disappointed.
"Which means one thing," Chloe said. "We have to go to the 7:00, so, is everyone up for pizza?"
Pete nodded enthusiastically.
Clark said, "I've got to tell my Mom, but sure."
Lois hit redial on her phone.
Lex stood up. "Well, if we're not splitting up for dinner, I've got to get this," he indicated his briefcase, "back home. I'm not carrying it to the theater. Clark? You want to come with?"
Clark glanced back at the other three teens. "Sure. Um, you guys'll wait dinner for us?"
Chloe nodded. "We'll order for you in about twenty. The usual?"
Clark shot her a grin. "Thanks. We should be back by then."
"Don't hurry on our account," Chloe said in a sly tone.
Lex and Clark moved to the alley behind the Talon. Clark quickly scanned the area around them with x-ray vision to make sure they were alone as Lex slammed him up against the wall to kiss him.
"What . . . what brought that on?" Clark asked breathlessly.
"I saw you looking at her."
"Her? Oh! Lois!"
"Yes, her. I needed to reassure myself that you're here with me."
"Always." Clark reciprocated, pushing Lex against the wall and kissing him passionately.
As he kissed Lex, his mind filled with unbidden images of kissing Lois. Different times, different places, and he was certain it was him despite the fact that he was wearing glasses in the vision.
"Clark? You all right?" Lex's blue eyes were filled with concern as Lex cupped his hand around the side of Clark's face. "You weren't . . . there for a moment."
Clark shook himself as if to wake himself up. "Sorry. Just . . . thinking."
"Penny for your thoughts?"
"They're not even worth that."
"Nickel?"
"Come on, let's get moving. They'll only hold the pizza for 20 minutes." Clark started walking.
Lex caught up with him quickly. "I can keep this up until I find what the thought's worth. Dime?"
Clark shook his head in exasperation, laughing.
"A quarter?"
Pete had returned to his study date to explain that he'd be seeing her later, leaving Chloe and Lois alone.
Lois opened the conversation with, "He's cute."
"Pete?"
"Well, him, too, but I was thinking of Clark."
"Well, don't think of him too much, because he's off the market." When Lois looked at her, she continued, "I haven't taken him off the market." She snorted. "He's just not looking anymore."
"Well, a girl can look at him, can't she?" Lois asked wryly.
Chloe grinned. "Feel free. I find myself doing that a lot, too."
Monday, Clark arrived at his first-period biology class, stumbling into Lois in the doorway.
"I didn't know that you're in this class," Clark said.
Lois laughed. "Maybe we should compare schedules, so we don't get surprised like this again." She placed her hand on his arm, just above the elbow.
A tingle began where she held onto his arm and Clark was overwhelmed by desire. He threw his books to the floor, then pivoted her around so she was leaning against the wall inside the door.
"Clark!" she cried, a cross between a gasp and a moan, as he took her mouth with his.
Kissing Lois was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. Warm and soft in all the right places, it was like kissing himself in a strange way that he'd never experienced with Lex.
He moved down to her neck. "Clark!" she sighed as he nipped and nuzzled.
"Clark!"
"Clark!"
"What?" Clark realized he was still standing in the doorway of the classroom, Lois's hand still on his arm. He abruptly realized that the 'kiss' had been another hallucination, like the one he'd had out back of the Talon. Only this had been much more realistic.
"Oh!" He blushed clear to the tips of his ears.
Mr. Scott, their biology teacher, came up behind him. "Your parents may have told you that you make a better door than a window, Mr. Kent, but I don't think they expected you to take it so literally." The science teacher grinned as Clark hurried to his seat next to Pete.
The bell marking the beginning of class rang, and Mr. Scott walked to where Lois stood by herself at the front of the room. "I'm afraid there's now an odd number of students in the class, so you'll be without a lab partner. You can sit here, though." He indicated an empty desk in the front of the room.
"Now, we were talking about the work of Gregor Mendel." He wrote the name on the board. "He was an Augustinian monk . . . "
After class, Clark took Chloe aside. "I think your friend Lois might be a candidate for the Wall of Weird."
"What?"
"It was the strangest thing. She put her hand on my elbow, and suddenly it was like I was kissing her."
"Kissing her?"
"Yes. Right there. Against the wall under the clock. I don't know what it means."
"Maybe it means that she's pretty, and you're attracted to her."
"Maybe, but . . . it just felt wrong, somehow."
"You should search deep in your heart . . ."
Not sure where Chloe was going with this, Clark asked, "Yeah?"
"And see if the wrongness you feel comes from the fantasy itself, or if you're just feeling guilty because of Lex," she finished bluntly.
"Come on, Chloe. Throw me a bone here. Something weird's going on. And no one's better at investigating weirdness than you are."
Chloe sighed. "All right. But you're going to owe me several after this."
Despite its population of over 45,000, Smallville was still very small-town in one respect -- everyone knew when someone moved into town. It took Chloe all of five minutes to find out that Fred and Lois had moved into "the Turner house on North Street."
The things I do for you, Clark. Chloe thought as she walked up to the front door of the quaint white-painted house.
She knocked firmly twice and waited, hoping that Lois would answer the door, rather than Fred Lane.
Fortunately, she got her wish. Her brunette bob swinging in the air, Lois answered the door. "Chloe! Hi! What brings you here?"
"Well, I sort of forgot what the English assignment was."
"Come in. It'll be a minute. My books are in Uncle Fred's office. I'd ask you to come in, but he's working in there, and he doesn't like to be disturbed."
"Sure." Chloe was thrilled. This couldn't have worked better if she'd planned it.
Lois held the door open wider and Chloe stepped inside.
"Why don't you have a seat in the living room? It's through there." She indicated a doorway to one side of the foyer.
"Thanks," Chloe said, sitting down.
Once Lois left, Chloe stood and began to wander around the room. She walked over to the fireplace, examining the photos on the mantel, feeling all the while like someone was watching her.
She turned to find the grandfather clock staring impassively back at her.
She continued looking. In the far corner of the living room, she found a photo album. Cursing herself for wasting time looking through photos, she nevertheless opened it and found something she never expected.
Pictures of Clark. Or someone who looked nearly identical to him. Only this man was older, and wore glasses. Intrigued, she continued snooping.
Older-Clark in a black cap and gown -- his tassel was crimson, which Chloe knew signified a degree from a school of journalism. Older-Clark in Metropolis, standing in front of the Daily Planet. Older-Clark standing next to an older version of Lois, dressed for their wedding . . .
BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG! BONG!
Chloe jumped, hurriedly dropping the album back into its spot on the bookcase, spinning around to face the grandfather clock, which was ticking placidly away, reading 4:30.
4:30? But it just chimed 5:00.
Lois came out into the foyer then, "I'm so sorry about that. I should have warned you."
"What?"
"It's Uncle Fred's clock. It goes off for no apparent reason all the time. I should have told you that it's likely to do that. I asked him to have it fixed, but he won't. He says it's his security system." Lois laughed.
Chloe attempted to join in, but just couldn't. She couldn't shake the feeling that the clock had somehow . . . known that she was looking in that album, and had tried to stop her.
Another person came into the room, and Chloe found herself looking . . . down, into the eyes of the strangest-looking man she'd ever seen. Barely over four feet tall, he had a slate-gray U of hair teased out to fantastic proportions.
"Oh. I didn't know you had company," he said.
"I was just leaving." On a whim, Chloe added, "Mr. Lane."
"You seem to know my name, but I don't remember having been introduced." He fixed his eyes on her, and she realized that they had a strange color-changing quality, like opals.
"Oh. Chloe. Chloe Sullivan."
"Ah. I've heard quite a lot about you." Fred Lane nodded. "From Lois, of course," he added hastily.
He began to walk away, saying over his shoulder, "And now that we've been introduced, you must stay for dinner."
After school, a dispirited Clark trudged into Lex's study.
"Why the long face?" Lex asked, looking up from the computer screen in front of him.
"We need to talk."
Concerned, Lex stood and joined Clark on the sofa.
Clark took a deep breath and got right to the point. "Today in Biology, I thought about kissing Lois."
Lex forced out a laugh. "Is that all? Clark, if you want to explore relationships with girls, you know you can do that at any time. . . "
"Jeeze, Lex. We've been through this a million times. You always try to convince me that it'd be all right, when we both know that it wouldn't." Clark interrupted.
Clark's interruption tipped Lex over the edge into anger. "What do you want me to say? That I'm jealous? That just the thought of her looking at you makes me want to see how much money I'd have to bribe the Lowell County Board of Education with to be put into Smallville High School as a sophomore so I can show her that you belong to me?"
Lex was winding up to say something else, but Clark stopped him with a deep kiss. When he finally let Lex up for air, Lex said, "You like it when I'm jealous, huh?"
"Of course. Just like you liked it when I was jealous."
The night that Phelan had died, Clark had come to the castle to find that Victoria had moved in -- both into Lex's castle and into Lex's bed. Clark had gone into Lex's study and had carefully tipped the lamp off of his desk. It had hit the glass top with a clang, then had landed on the floor with a clatter.
It had been just a matter of seconds before Lex had come downstairs to investigate, and Clark had pounced. They'd been a couple -- an exclusive couple -- ever since.
"I want to warn you that if you actually do turn up in my Biology class, you will, of course, pay for it."
"Oh?" Lex asked archly, "How?"
"I already have a lab partner. Pete. The only un-partnered person in class is Lois." He grinned.
Then he got serious. "It's like the thing with Lana. That whole concert ticket and limo thing."
"Your point being?"
"That you're always trying to get me to explore or whatever. The non-date with Lana was incredibly uncomfortable. I don't need to experiment with girls, Lex."
"Clark . . ."
"Lex . . .," Clark mimicked. "Would you tell Lana that she needs to experiment with girls? Or Pete?"
"Pete can experiment with girls as much as he likes."
"You know what I mean. Just because my choice doesn't gibe with 90% of our culture doesn't make it any less valid."
"Choice?"
Clark nodded. "I don't know where my attraction to other men comes from, maybe people from my planet are more open, maybe I'm running the same odds as a human, but I chose you. And I always will."
Lex was saved from going all misty-eyed by the phone ringing. "Hello?"
"Hi, Dad?" a girl's voice asked.
"I'm afraid you have the wrong . . ."
"I'm over at Lois's house. Yes, Lois Lane," the girl enunciated very clearly. "And they've invited me for dinner."
Lex scribbled Chloe at Lois'? on a piece of paper and showed it to Clark, who nodded.
"No. You come right home this minute, Chloe. I've been waiting dinner for you," Lex said in what he hoped was his best fatherly tone.
"I know, Dad. I'm really sorry and I'll be right home. Though since I'm on foot, it might take me a while to get home. . . ."
Lex sighed, much as he'd imagine that Gabe would if Chloe had left him holding dinner for her. "Would you like us, er, me to come pick you up?"
"Oh, yes, please!"
"Sit tight. Um, where is Lois's house, exactly?"
"It's the old Turner place on North Street."
Knowing that he had to get this down quickly, before Fred Lane figured out she wasn't talking to a native, Lex hurriedly scrawled, Turner? N. Street??, and showed it to Clark.
Clark nodded his understanding.
"I'll be there in a minute. Sweetie." Lex said this last through gritted teeth as he hung up.
"Ready?"
Clark nodded. "The old Turner place is about ten minutes away from here. Less, the way you drive."
"Smart ass."
They headed for the door, but were stopped by Margaret, the cook. "Oh, Mr. Luthor. You aren't having dinner at home tonight? It's almost done."
"Hold it for us. We should be back in, oh, say, five minutes." He winked at Clark, who rolled his eyes.
Seven minutes later, they were in one of Lex's less-obvious cars, a Mercedes, parked in front of Fred Lane's white clapboard house. Chloe came to the door when they drove up, smiling and waving gaily behind her as she tripped down the stairs and into the car.
"Get me out of here," Chloe said as soon as she was in the car. Clark was in the back seat so that he wouldn't have to get out of the car.
"So?" Clark asked once they were away from the house.
"Definitely weird. Clark, do you think it's possible that Lois is your sister?"
Clark snorted. "No."
"Are you absolutely sure? You see, I found some pictures there. Pictures of, well, it looked like you, but older. And wearing glasses. You, or whoever it was, were graduating from journalism school. Undergrad. You had a crimson tassel. And getting married. To a woman who looked like Lois.
"So, you see? They could be your parents. And Lois's parents. And Fred and Lois might be here to get you. Or at least to introduce you to your sister."
"Wouldn't that make that weird . . . fantasy some kind of Luke and Leia thing? Ew." Clark asked.
"I guess. But maybe you felt the connection to her and didn't understand it. Like Luke did." When both men were silent, she said, "What? It could happen."
"Chloe. I'm almost positive that I don't have any living relatives left," Clark said.
"How could you possibly know that?"
"I just do. It's one of those feelings, you know?"
"It's just . . ."
"Chloe. Drop it," Lex said, cutting short Chloe's interrogation.
"So? Did you find anything else?"
She shook her head. "Just a watch clock I guess."
"A watch clock?" Clark asked, then quipped, "Is it a watch or is it a clock?"
"No. Like a watch dog. I had this weird feeling like I was being watched, and then when I was looking through the photo album, it suddenly chimed 5:00, even though it was only 4:30."
"Sounds like it was broken to me," Lex said dismissively.
"No. It was really weird. Lois even told me that her uncle considers it a sort of security system." She paused. "All right, she seemed like she was joking, but what if she wasn't?"
"So you honestly think that this Fred Lane has invented some kind of AI that can tell when a visitor has overstepped his or her bounds, and has chosen to use it for his own security, rather than selling it on the open market?" Lex asked skeptically.
"I don't know what it is. I just know what I went through. And remember, this is Smallville. Nothing's too odd to happen here."
Lex laughed, conceding her point.
After they'd dropped Chloe at home, Lex and Clark headed for the castle.
"You don't suppose she could be your sister," Lex began.
"Not unless I come from a planet where we have some kind of mating urges for our siblings," Clark snapped. He winced, realizing what he had just said to his lover. "I mean, that's what it was like, like some kind of preprogrammed mating instinct or something. There was no real attraction, and I certainly didn't choose her. And anyway," he grinned, "she said that the guy who looks like me was dressed like a human. Now, if she'd said that they were dressed like the Jetsons, with hovercars in the background and everything, I might buy it. No. There has to be another explanation."
Tuesday after school, Clark went, as usual, to the Talon. He was long over his crush on Lana, but they were still friends, and so he frequented the Talon every chance he got. And refused Lana's offer of his refreshments on the house every time.
He walked around the stand of potted palm trees that separated the smoking and non-smoking sections, nearly colliding with Lois, who was coming the other way.
Only his enhanced reflexes kept him from dropping his coffee onto the floor.
"Lois!" he exclaimed.
"Hi." Lois smiled back shyly.
"You want to join me? I was just . . . " He felt a strange pull towards her and started babbling. "I was just going to sit over there and wait for my date. 'Cause, you know, I'm seeing someone."
Lois continued smiling. "Chloe mentioned that."
He found it harder to articulate as the tugging got steadily worse. "Though we've never been, you know, open about our . . . ."
Lois's jaw dropped, as she interrupted him. "She's not, like, twelve or something?"
"What? No! Of course not! She's, well, she's a he." He was speaking really quickly now, trying to explain that whatever compulsion this was, it really wouldn't work out.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Clark dropped his coffee, spilling the scalding liquid all over his right foot. A little voice in the back of his head told him he should be thankful for invulnerable ankles, but right then it was too important to close the space between him and Lois, pulling her upwards to him for a kiss.
And this kiss was everything the fantasy-kiss had been, and more. Clark couldn't believe he'd ever thought of kissing anyone else. This was right. It was true love. It had to be.
These thoughts lasted all of five seconds, whereupon they were replaced by an awareness of a loud popping sound, like Rice Krispies on acid. Unable to resist, he cracked an eye open to look for the source of the sound, looking up just in time to see one, lone, shiny red heart drift upwards from the air above them, bursting like a bubble once it reached the tops of the palm trees.
Sensing that Clark wasn't with her, Lois pulled back from the kiss. She blinked, her eyes widening in shock. "I don't know what came over me . . ." she whispered. "Please forgive me."
Then she turned and ran. Clark followed her for the first ten feet, but stopped when he realized Lex was standing at the end of the row of trees.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough."
"I . . . I don't know what happened. That wasn't me kissing her."
Lex arched an eyebrow.
"Look. I remember what you said. If I want to experiment with girls, you'd let me. Why would I sneak around to do it? And why would there be these . . . bubble hearts floating above my head as I do it?"
Lex laughed out loud. "Bubble hearts? Literally?"
Clark nodded. "Red ones."
"Do you think she could be some kind of meteor mutant, or siren or something?"
Clark shrugged. "All I know is that there's something very strange about both Lois and Fred Lane. Now, if you'll excuse me," he ducked in to kiss Lex quickly, "I've got to go get a mop to clean that up." He indicated the puddle of spilled coffee behind him.
Lois was running by the time she got to the door of the Talon. She jogged around a person standing in the doorway.
"Lois?" The voice brought her up short. Lois looked back and saw that the person she'd narrowly avoided was Chloe.
"Oh. Chloe. Hi," Lois responded with a false smile, wondering idly if her face would crack if she held that expression too long.
"Hi. Are you all right?"
"Yeah. Fine."
"You don't look fine. Do you want to talk? We could go in and sit down." She indicated the door of the Talon.
Lois's eyes widened. "No. I . . . It wouldn't be a good idea."
"All right." Chloe nodded. "How about the park benches down by the courthouse?"
Lois debated just going on about her business, but she decided she needed to talk to someone, and Chloe was her closest friend in town. She nodded. "Sure."
Soon, they were seated in the square around the courthouse. Lois turned slightly in her seat to face Chloe. "It's Clark."
"What about him?"
"Well, I'm sort of . . . drawn to him. I'd say that I'm in love with him, but . . . I don't really know him. And then today I kissed him. He kissed me. We kissed."
Chloe's eyes widened. "When did that happen?"
"About five minutes ago."
"Oh, God. Did you see Lex Luthor? Or, more to the point, did he see you?"
"Lex Luthor? Why would . . . oh, my God. He's Clark's boyfriend. I mean, he told me that he was seeing someone. A guy. But it never occurred to me that it was Lex Luthor."
Chloe nodded. "Not many people know that they're a couple. It's pretty much just me, and Pete, and Clark's mom and dad."
"I'm . . . I'm really scared, Chloe. Not of Mr. Luthor, but of . . . whatever made me kiss Clark. I don't know him at all, but I feel this weird compulsion, like I want to settle down with him or something."
"Well, all I guess I can say is, 'Welcome to Smallville, home of weird, scary compulsions.'"
"I tell you, Lex. It was odd. Like I wasn't in control of myself."
"You didn't see anything green and glowing, did you?"
"I said I felt out of control, not sick, Lex." Clark responded snappishly.
Lex arched his eyebrows at Clark. "You tell me how someone would be able to harm you without the meteors, and I'll withdraw my question."
Clark shrugged. "But the meteors had changed Kyle and Rickman, and they couldn't make me do things like they did to, well, you, and Dad, and things."
"Thanks for the reminder," Lex said dryly.
"My point is that that kind of mind control isn't possible even with the meteors, so it's got to be something else."
Chloe joined them then. "Hi. Can I sit down?"
Clark shrugged listlessly. "Sure."
"I was talking to Lois outside. She told me that she kissed you."
Clark nodded. "Yep."
"She also said that she had no idea what came over her."
"Join the club," Lex responded.
"I sort of explained that weird things happen here in Smallville all the time, and that she obviously got caught in one of them."
"We were just trying to figure that one out ourselves."
"It is kind of strange, though," Chloe said, "I saw that picture of someone who looks like you, and someone who looks like Lois, dressed for a wedding, and now this . . . ."
"I was wearing glasses in those pictures, right?"
"Right."
"Well, when this whole thing started, I saw myself, in like a vision, kissing Lois. I was wearing glasses."
The trio looked at each other. Suddenly, without another word, Lex stood and left the table.
"Where's he going?" Chloe asked.
Clark shrugged. Then his eyes widened. "Lois's house. Fred Lane must be behind all of this."
They stood and ran to the door. As they stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine, they saw Lex's car tearing down the road towards Fred Lane's house.
"Do you have your car?" Clark asked.
"Nope. You?"
"No."
"Well, looks like we have to walk. Fortunately, it's only about half a mile away."
Together, they headed off towards Fred Lane's house. The whole way, Clark wondered how he could get rid of Chloe, because he suspected that some of his secrets would come out, if only because he'd have to use his gifts to protect Lex from Fred. Or possibly to protect Fred from Lex.
Lex pulled up in front of Fred Lane's house with a screech of tires. With speed born of years of practice, he unbuckled his seat belt, disengaged the keys and by the time the car door slammed shut behind him, he was halfway up the front walk.
Without knocking, he opened the door of the house and stepped in. "All right, Lane! Where are you?" he yelled.
Fred came down the hallway. "Good afternoon. . . Lex."
Lex had been told how short Fred was, but he hadn't really absorbed the information until confronted with it face-to-navel. His ire was such that he didn't even let that slow him down. "What are you doing to Clark Kent?"
"I'm not doing anything to Clark Kent."
Lex looked around, quickly finding what he thought must be the photo album that Chloe had found. "Oh, yeah?" He paged through it to find the wedding photo that Chloe had mentioned.
He had to fight back the pain the overcame him at the sight of the man he loved marrying someone else. There was no time for that. "What about this, then?"
The grandfather clock started chiming the hour, even though it was quarter 'til. "Stop that," Fred demanded, and the clock subsided into silence.
"Oh, that," Fred responded in a careless manner. "I told you I'm not doing anything to them. I'm doing this for them. Look at them," he demanded.
"I've seen them already."
"Then you've seen what I've seen. What I know. Clark and Lois were made for each other. Literally."
Clark and Chloe burst through the door then.
"Ah, Clark Kent. You just don't look the same without your glasses," Fred said conversationally. He took the book from Lex and held it out for Clark. "See? Don't you look good together?"
"I don't love Lois, Mr. Lane. I love Lex."
"Yes." Fred's lips pursed with distaste. "I know. What you don't realize is that you're screwing the whole thing up!" The small man started bouncing up and down with rage as he said this. "You're not supposed to be lovers! You're supposed to be enemies! Who the hell is going to be Superman's arch-nemesis, if Lex Luthor is his lover!!" He was clearing the floor by a good three feet by now, his face flushed bright red.
"Mr. Lane, please calm down . . ." Clark began, stepping towards him.
"Don't call me that! My name is Mxyzptlk and don't you forget it!"
The room fell silent.
"Go, all of you," Mxyzptlk demanded. "Just go!"
As if they were marionettes, Clark, Lex and Chloe turned and left the house.
Once they were outside, volitional control returned to their bodies.
"Okay. That was weird. Even for Smallville," Chloe said.
"Mxyzptlk?" Clark asked. "What kind of name is that?"
"I'll get on the Internet and look it up," Chloe said. "Once I can figure out how to spell it." She grinned wryly.
Lois came up the sidewalk then. "Hey, guys. What's up?" She looked from Clark, Chloe and Lex up the sidewalk towards the house.
"Oh, nothing," Clark said.
"We were just taking a walk," Chloe added.
Then, together, they headed off down the street.
Lois looked at Lex's Jaguar parked at the curb, shrugged, and went inside.
After Lois had gone inside, the trio crossed the street and walked back to Lois's house, crossed the street again and got into Lex's car.
Lois, watching out the window, saw them drive away.
Lex dropped Chloe at home, where she promised to start researching Mxyzptlk on the Internet immediately. "I'll call you if I find anything."
"Thanks," Clark said with a smile as he closed the car door.
"When we get home, I'm going to call a contact of my own. I get the feeling that information on this Mxyzptlk character won't be found on the Internet."
Lex and Clark returned to Luthor Castle, and as Clark got down to his homework, Lex made a phone call. "Halfrek? Lex Luthor."
"Yes, it's great hearing your voice again, too. How long's it been?"
"Three years already? My, how time flies."
"No, I don't need your services. I'm looking for information. Although . . . . What do you know about a character named Mxyzptlk?"
"Oh. That doesn't sound good."
"And you couldn't . . . ?"
"Yeah. I figured as much. Any hints you can give me?"
"Well, that sounds easy as falling off a log."
"I know. I'll find a way. Thanks, Halfrek. Oh, and can I sacrifice anything for you?"
"And then set fire to the blood? No problem. Thanks."
"We're having chicken tomorrow for dinner. You interested?" Lex asked as he hung up.
"You're going to set fire to chicken blood?" Clark asked in a slightly nauseated tone.
"Actually, does your father have any chickens for sale, by any chance?"
Clark blanched.
"I'm kidding Clark. I've got my own source for live chickens."
Clark looked at him, not sure if he was joking or not.
"Look, Clark, Halfrek's a demon."
"A demon." Clark repeated Lex's words back to him disbelievingly.
"A vengeance demon, specifically. You know," he added half to himself, "I never really thought about magic much, but it's always interesting who you meet in clubs . . ."
Clark cleared his throat, drawing Lex's attention back to their conversation. "I thought it was dangerous to consort with demons."
"Don't worry. She isn't out for her own vengeance. She exacts the vengeance of humans on each other. When she's not on the job, she's just a regular person. A regular person with a sort of unusual appearance, granted."
"And a taste for chicken blood."
Lex shrugged, neither admitting nor denying the truth of Clark's statement. "Look at it this way. If a friend did something to help you, wouldn't it make sense to give her a gift to thank her?"
"Um, sure."
"That's all it is, Clark. Just a token of my appreciation."
Clark sighed and Lex could see him fighting back more questions.
"Look. Magic is very real, and when you have a contact in the field, you . . . use it."
Lex continued, hitting his stride. "I suspected that was what we were up against as soon as you said that you didn't see anything green and glowing. I mean, bullets, and cars, bounce off of you, but they're mechanical. I figured that just maybe you'd be as vulnerable to magic as the rest of us."
"And that's what this is?"
Lex nodded. "Turns out Mxy," he paused at the look of amusement on Clark's face at the nickname, "he's apparently a pretty dangerous character. Not dangerous in a mafia sense, but dangerous in the sense that he has almost unlimited power, and, well, if he's not insane, he at least has a very odd sense of humor.
"He's also sort of devoted, in a twisted way. Once he's chosen an object for his attentions, he continues badgering that person for the rest of his or her life."
"So we'll never be rid of him."
"We can get rid of him. Temporarily, at least."
"How temporarily?"
"Ninety days. A minimum of ninety days," Lex hastened to add quickly. "All we have to do is trick him into saying his name backwards."
Clark sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. "And how the hell are we going to do that?"
"I don't know." Lex sighed. "But I'm sure we'll think of something."
The next day at school, Clark and Chloe caught each other up on their investigation.
"Absolutely nothing on any spelling of Mxyzptlk I could come up with," Chloe said, sighing.
"Actually, Lex and I did have some luck. On a hunch, he called a . . . friend. Turns out, she knew something about Mxy."
"Mxy?" Chloe laughed.
"Lex's nickname for him." Clark grinned. "Turns out the things he's been doing are magic-based. He tends to fixate on one person for that person's lifespan -- something tells me that person is me -- but he can be gotten rid of for periods of at least ninety days."
"So? How?"
"We have to get him to say his name backwards."
Chloe snorted. "Oh. That's going to work."
"Well? It's the only idea we've got going right now."
"So how do we expect him to go for it? A crossword puzzle?" Chloe snapped.
Just then, Lois walked into the room. "Hey. I won't be able to work on the Torch today, Chlo."
"Why not?"
Lois sighed peevishly. "I blew it in driver's ed today. I have to go home and get Uncle Fred to take me out to practice."
Clark smiled, but he stopped when he saw the light go on in Chloe's eyes. "What?" he mouthed at her.
"Play along," she whispered back. "Actually, Lois, we need to talk to you about something."
"I've really got to run."
"This'll only take a few minutes. Then I can drive you home and you'll get home the same time you would have if you'd walked."
Lois narrowed her eyes at Chloe suspiciously, but sat down.
"What would you say if I told you that, well, that we know why some of the strange things that have been going on have been going on."
"I thought you said it was because it's Smallville."
"Right. But more immediate than that. Proximate cause, as it were. Um, you see, OK. It's like this. I nearly froze to death once because it was Smallville. But the actual cause of it was Sean, with whom I was going out."
"Right. Or the sort of crash diet that Pete almost went on once, because it was Smallville, but it was really because his date, Jodi, tried to suck the fat out of him," Clark added.
"Yeah." Chloe was really warmed up now. "Or when Clark's dad sold the family farm because Bob Rickman had taken over his mind and made him do it." She emphasized the words taken over his mind and made, hoping that Lois would catch her point.
And it had apparently worked. "You think that someone has taken over Clark's and my minds?"
"Actually, we're pretty certain of it," Clark added.
"All right. And who's taken over our minds?"
Clark sighed. "Your uncle Fred."
Lois stood and headed for the door. "I'm not going to listen to this. You two are insane."
Clark put on an almost-imperceptible burst of superspeed and interposed himself between Lois and the door. "Just hear us out, please? You don't lose anything from listening to us."
When Lois looked frustrated he stepped to one side. "You can go if you want."
"No. I'll listen. What do you want to say?"
"When your uncle Fred takes you out driving, just give him some written directions," she looked up at Clark, who smiled encouragingly, "with one of the directions being to turn onto. . . ."
She looked at Clark again, who hastily wrote Kltpzyxm, on a piece of paper and handed it to her.
"This?" Lois asked, startled.
"Right. Write it down in a set of directions, North Street to Fifteenth, to, I don't know, Main, to Kl . . . whatever. And have him read it to you. You can't tell him about the Kl-whatever thing, though. It has to be a surprise." Chloe said.
"And what will happen when he reads that line of the directions?"
Chloe shrugged. "Either nothing, or . . . something. I can't promise anything."
"And this will get my mind back?" Lois asked. Then, a light dawned. "Lucy! I've got a sister. Why would Uncle Fred, or whoever he is, take me in and not her, if my parents are stationed somewhere dangerous?" She furrowed her brow. "Maybe there really is something to this."
"Maybe," Clark said. Things were out of his hands now, and being with Lex had taught him never to just trust that others would do the job right, so he was extremely nervous.
"Here. Let me write down the directions," Lois said, taking the pad of paper and pen from Clark. Soon she had a series of instructions that would take her deeper into her subdivision. One-third of the way through the directions, she carefully wrote Turn left on Kltpzyxm Drive.
"You ready?" Chloe asked as Lois finished writing.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Lois said as she stood.
"Good luck," Clark said as Chloe and Lois left.
Half an hour later, Clark's cell phone rang. It was Lex. "Hey," Clark answered it with a smile.
"What's up? Anything new with our . . . friend?"
Lex was being awfully circumspect, so Clark decided to follow his love's example. "Actually, yes. Hopefully. I told Chloe what we found out last night, and she was inspired. Lois is helping us."
"Lois! What . . . I mean, is that wise?"
"Look. Can I come over? It makes me nervous, talking about this here."
"Well, I'm at the office."
"Don't worry. I know where that is," Clark said, grinning.
Lois had stalled for the last half hour. She sat at the desk in her room, working on her homework, the three by five card with the directions sitting in front of her.
Finally, she decided it was now or never. She wanted to get back to her parents and her sister. Wherever they were.
Steeling herself, she stuck the card in her purse and went downstairs to the office where Mxyzptlk was at the drafting table. For the first time, Lois realized that the drawings he was making didn't make any sense. It was like he was plotting the support structure for paintings by M.C. Escher.
She cleared her throat. "Um, Uncle Fred?"
Mxyzptlk turned to her, smiling. "Yes, my dear."
"I sort of messed up big time in driver's ed, and was wondering if you could take me out to practice? The teacher told me to drive at least a mile one way, and so I plotted out a route that is about that much."
The smile turned into a beam. "Of course. Where's the route?"
"I wrote it down. I'll give it to you in the car."
Once they were in the car, Lois put it in gear and headed up North Street, making sure she was apparently engrossed in her driving before saying, "Oh. Can you get the card out of my purse, please?"
"Of course." Mxyzptlk opened the purse and took the card out.
"Go west to Fifteenth street and make a right."
Lois carefully signaled and turned.
"Good. Now go north for two blocks to Maple and make a left."
A car was coming up Maple, so Lois had to wait, and she took the opportunity to look at her 'uncle.' He was watching oncoming traffic warily, so she breathed a silent sigh of relief. Perhaps he wouldn't notice the trick line until it was too late.
When it was clear, Lois turned.
"Excellent. Now, go to Kltpzyxm . . . . Oh, shoot!" His eyes widened, and with a small pop, he disappeared.
Lois had been driving very slowly, in case something happened to the car. Apparently, the car was real, for it didn't disappear with Mxyzptlk. She cautiously pulled over to the side of the road and got out, her legs shaking. She walked over to the curb and sat down hard.
Suddenly, her memories came back to her. She pulled the cell phone out of her purse and dialed. I didn't even notice that this phone has a 210 area code, she marveled.
Two rings later, her mother picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Mom? It's me. Lois."
"Oh, my God. What the hell happened? I just suddenly realized that you've been missing since . . . Friday?"
Lois nodded, even though she knew her mother couldn't see her. "Yeah. It's really complicated, but for what it's worth, I haven't missed a day of school. Of course, it's the wrong school, but . . . . "
"Where are you?"
"Um, Kansas?" she admitted sheepishly. "Like I said, it's complicated. But I'll be right home as soon as I can make the arrangements."
"Do you have a boyfriend, sweetie? Is that what happened?"
"Oh! No! Nothing like that! God, Mom! No. It's just difficult to explain. I'm not sure I understand it myself."
"Well, all right, dear. Call us as soon as you know something."
"I will." After she hung up, it amazed Lois how quickly her mother lapsed into pretending that nothing unusual had happened. She just hoped her folks wouldn't have her committed when she explained what had happened.
She dialed Chloe's number, for the first time noticing the 785 area code. Chloe answered in the middle of the first ring. "So? What happened?" she asked.
"It worked. He's gone, and apparently my family's in San Antonio. My dad's stationed at Fort Sam there."
She could hear Chloe's smile, as she asked, "So, what now?"
"Now, I was hoping you could come pick me up. I don't think I'm strong enough to get anywhere under my own steam right now."
"Where, exactly, are you?"
"Maple between Fifteenth and Sixteenth."
"I'll be there in five."
Sure enough, five minutes later, Chloe pulled up alongside where Lois sat on the curb. She opened her door and stood. "Going my way?" She yelled across the roof of the car.
Lois smiled up at her. "Yeah." She stood and climbed into the car.
"So?" Chloe asked once they were on the road.
"He's gone." Lois shrugged, still looking distant. "And he made me forget so much."
The pain in Lois's voice caught Chloe. "You wanna talk about it?"
"My folks are in Texas, not Bialya. I was supposed to have a date over the weekend, which I missed because I was here. My parents forgot I existed."
Chloe pulled over and released her seatbelt, pulling Lois to her, holding her as she cried.
When Lois stopped crying, Chloe said, "They didn't forget about you. It was a spell."
"I know," Lois sniffled. "But it still hurts."
Lois sat back up and both girls put their seatbelts back on.
"Where to now?" Lois asked.
Chloe pulled out her cell phone and handed it to Lois. "Call Clark. Speed dial 3. Find out where he is."
Lois dialed. A moment later, Clark answered. Hi, Chloe.
"Actually, it's Lois."
Oh. Lois. How are you? How did things go?
"He's gone. Chloe said for me to find out where you are."
I'm in Lex's office.
"He's in Lex's office," Lois said to Chloe.
Chloe nodded. "Ask if we can meet them there. We'll tell them everything, well, you'll tell them everything, when we get there."
I heard her. There was a smile in Clark's voice. Can they meet us here? A pause. Yeah. You can meet us here.
"Good. We'll be there in," Lois looked at Chloe.
"Mmm. About ten minutes," Chloe responded.
"About ten minutes?" Lois asked Clark.
"We'll be waiting."
"Thanks." Lois hung up. "They'll be there."
What seemed like mere moments later, Lex and Clark heard voices outside the office door. The phone on Lex's desk chimed. "Mr. Luthor?"
"Yes, Iris?"
"Chloe Sullivan and a Lois Lane are here to see you?"
"I'm expecting them. Show them in."
Moments later, Chloe and Lois came into the room. Chloe dragged a chair over from the conference table and they threw themselves into their chairs. "Well, it's over," Chloe sighed.
"So? What happened?" Clark asked, as Lois launched into the tale of her adventure.
After she was finished, Clark let out a low whistle of admiration.
"Very well done, Lois," Lex beamed. "Now, not to rush you, but you must really want to get home."
Lois nodded enthusiastically. "Yes."
Lex tapped his pen on the desk. "Metropolis to Dallas runs about two hours, plus travel time to Metropolis. I won't be driving, so that's another three hours there, plus Dallas to San Antonio. That's a total of six hours. And you probably wouldn't be able to leave until tomorrow morning. I don't know how late the San Antonio airport is open. What would you say if I could shave that down to about three, and you could leave tonight?"
Lois was struck dumb. "I . . . You . . . How?"
"Helicopter to Metropolis, that's one hour, plus two, two and a half by chartered jet to San Antonio. You think your folks'll be available to pick you up at nine?"
Lois nodded. "Yes. They'll be thrilled."
"Good. I'll just make the arrangements, then."
Half an hour later, Clark and Lex watched the LuthorCorp helicopter flying east, carrying Lois towards Metropolis. Lex leaned back against Clark's shoulder.
"Arch-nemesis?" Clark asked, chuckling.
"What? Don't you think I'd be enough of a challenge?"
"Oh, you'd be enough of a challenge, all right. I just have a hard time imagining myself as being someone who could have an arch-nemesis."
"Hey! Enough with the self-doubt. I'd be honored, and truly challenged, to have you as an enemy."
"Thank you. I think."
They lapsed into silence for a moment. "Do you suppose things between us could ever deteriorate to that point?" Clark asked.
Lex wrapped an arm around Clark's waist. "I suppose back when we first started going out, they could have. Back when we were hiding things from each other. That might even be what happened. I loved you desperately, but knew you were lying to me. That knowledge would eat at me, until I crossed that proverbial line between love and hate."
Clark narrowed his eyes at Lex. "Have you been thinking this over?"
"Not at all. It's just the simplest thing that came to mind. Or maybe I blame you for losing my hair. After all, you were clearly an active agent in causing it when you were a toddler. I mean, because you sneaked into my bedroom -- at the age of three -- with one of those home electrolysis thingies and . . . ."
Lex stopped in mid-theory, Clark cutting off the flow of words with his own mouth. He concentrated all of his love and his hope, his affection and his faith, in his kiss as he pulled Lex closer.
"So, ninety days?" Clark asked, pulling away and getting back to business.
"At least ninety days." Lex corrected. "If you, or I, am the one he's fixated on."
"No way it's Lois."
Lex shrugged. "You never know. Maybe Mxy thinks she's prettier than we are."
Clark laughed, wrapping his arms loosely around Lex's waist.
"Who do you think is the most imaginative writer out there today?"
Clark shrugged. "Jim Rigney?"
"How much do you think he'd ask to be brought on board?"
"Why?"
"Well, one of the three of us is going to need that Kl . . . whatever word again. I just thought it'd be nice to be prepared."