Chapter 1

Blair woke up in her room and looked around. It took a minute for her eyes to adjust to the sunlight. For a minute everything was burry. Her vision finally adjusted and she rubbed her eyes and groaned. Propping herself up on one arm and reaching onto the night stand with the other, she felt for her phone. It wasn't there. She felt a breath on her neck. Her heart skipped a beat. But then she smelled him. She knew that smell. She turned her head and there he was about two inches away from her face. He was staring at her with a concerned look on his face.

"GOD!" she exclaimed almost falling off of her bed.

"Sorry…"he whispered. " I just wanted to make sure you got home ok and I must have fallen asleep in the process." That last part was a lie. He wanted to make sure she got home ok that was true, but he also didn't want to leave her alone last night. He stayed with her to be there when she woke up.

She sighed and relaxed a bit. He was a familiar face, the face of her ex. She hadn't seen him in so long. She stared at him for a moment studying his facial expression. He looked curious. He looked timid. But most of all he just looked exhausted. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing there but then quickly closed it. She was too afraid of what he might say. Blair didn't remember hardly anything from the night before. Even the parts she remembered were not good, not at all. The night consisted of Brooklyn, dirty bars, disgusting filthy men hitting on her. She remembered the bathroom floor. It was bright green tile. It was freezing. She remembered that because she was laying on it. She was lying on that cold nasty floor unable to move. Suddenly she was embarrassed. It must have showed on her face it because Chuck noticed the change and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you ok? You must feel awful." He spoke softly, sensitive to the fact that she most likely had a massive hang over. She did.

Blair straightened out her face. "I'm fine Chuck."

She got up out of bed and took her robe off of her chair. She kept her back to him as she slipped it on. Her head was throbbing, but she did not want to let on that she was not feeling well. Without even looking back at him she sat down at her vanity and started examining her face in the mirror. He stared at her back. Her soft curls were messy from last night's adventures but still gorgeous. He hadn't seen her in a long time, nearly two months. That was long for them. She still looked the same, just sad and guarded. He still wanted her. He still loved her. He still needed her. He had been careful to stay away from her since his uncle made that awful deal with him. He, Chuck, would have full ownership of the Empire Hotel if and only if his Uncle could have Blair for one night.

He made the deal with his Uncle Jack at the time. Chuck was desperate to keep the Empire and he thought that Blair would understand after he had a chance to explain everything. But Chuck's plan had back fired. He'd ended up fucking things up once again and the night ended with a slap from Blair and tears on both of their parts. Chuck still had no idea what exactly took place on that night with Blair and Jack. He didn't want to think about his uncle with his hands on her. He couldn't think about anyone else with their hands on Blair without losing it and practically going into a blind rage. He suppressed the anxiety he had over that night in the back of his mind and drowned his worries in scotch and drugs and women. So many women had been in Chuck's bed this past month that he should have every type of STD. He was usually very careful even in the drunkest of circumstances. So he hoped not. However on Monday he would still go and get tested just to be sure. He had no idea what Blair had been up to until he saw the post on Gossip Girl last night about her being too drunk to stand. She was at some bar in Brooklyn, Brooklyn of all places. He wasn't even sure how Gossip Girl got this information of Blair's where abouts but he was grateful that she did. With Serena and Nate in Europe, Chuck assumed she had no one. He found out where she was and went to go pick her up.

When Chuck got to the bar he could see right away it was not the type of place that Blair Waldorf would even look at much less step inside. What could she have been doing there? Gossip Girl never said she was with anyone. So what she just stepped into this rat hole alone to get drunk? That did not seem like the Blair he knew.

"Bass!" Chuck turned around to the sound of his name just in time for some old man with a plaid shirt and beard to throw up all over his coat. He looked down discussed. Only for Blair… he thought as he carefully slipped off his coat and dropped in on the floor.

"Bass!" He heard again. It was Vanessa Abrams, Humphrey's friend from Brooklyn.

"Thank God you are here." She exclaimed grabbing Chuck's arm and pulling him out of the crowd. She moved him over to an almost empty corner of the bar.

"What the hell is going on?" Chuck asked her pulling his arm away from her hand.

"It's Blair you're here for right?" She asked him.

Chuck nodded. "Yes where is she? What happened?"

"She's in the bathroom. She's in bad shape Chuck. I locked the door so no one would come in but as you can see by the line people are starting to get pissed…."

Vanessa tried to tell him more but Chuck was already making his way to the bathroom. When he got there, he fought with the locked knob on the bathroom door for a few second before just deciding to kick the door open. A whole bunch of females realized the bathroom was now open and started running toward the restroom. Chuck backed up against the wall outside the door. He was not going to get trampled by a heard of women, not today anyway. After the doorway was clear he made his way into the bathroom.

"What the hell?" a woman who was standing at the sinks shouted. "Get out of here!"

Chuck ignored the disgusting women who looked like she had just stepped out of a whore house and then got run over by a truck. He looked around the room in a panic looking for any sign of her. Finally he spotted something under the sink. He saw part of a red heel.

"Move!" He barked at the whore.

Looking rather confused, but mostly scared, the woman moved out of the way of the sinks.

"Did you find her?" Vanessa asked him when she made it to the bathroom door.

Chuck knelt down and crawled under the sinks. Blair was lying there on the floor. She was on her stomach. Her head was to the side. She was so still. She looked so pale. Chuck's chest tightened with worry. He grabbed her hand and felt her pulse. She was alive, just passed out. He sighed a sigh of relief then scooped her up in his arms and lifted her limp body out from underneath the sinks.

"She's ok. she's just passed out." Vanessa started to explain. Chuck gave her a furious look. He then proceeded to make his way through the crowds of people to get outside where his limo was waiting. Vanessa followed him out of the bar. Chuck opened the limo's back door and gently spread Blair across the back seat.

"I made sure she was ok Chuck. I didn't know where else to put her. Under the sinks seems like the safest place in there."

"There's nothing safe about that place!" Chuck spoke soft but his voice was full of anger. "What we you two doing here?" he asked Vanessa.

"She made me take her out. She actually came over to my apartment and led me here."

"And you just let her do that?" he questioned her in disbelief.

"She was already wasted when she came to my apartment, Chuck. No matter how much I dislike her I wasn't going to just leave her on the streets of Brooklyn alone. I couldn't get ahold of you so I sent the tip to Gossip Girl. I knew you'd jump if you saw Blair's face on your screen. I couldn't lift her myself or I would have already brought her back to my place."

Chucks face softened. "Oh." He said while looking at the ground. "Thank you then."

"Yeah no problem…" Vanessa replied rolling her eyes.

"No I mean it Vanessa. Thank you. I don't even want to know what would have happened if she were alone tonight."

"It's really fine. Just take her home. Make sure she gets plenty of water when she wakes up. She'll need it!"

"Alright I'll take it from here. I owe you one Abrams."

"I'll add it to my list of things you owe me." Vanessa mumbled as she walked away.

Blair continued to sit at her vanity. She was now brushing her hair. She could see him staring at her through her mirror. After she set her hair brush down he started coming towards her. He stopped when he was behind her chair. His eyes never left her. He did however seem a bit agitated. That made her nervous. She took a deep breath before turning to face him.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes actually you can." Chuck began. "First of all you can tell me what the hell is wrong with you?

"Excuse me?" Blair shot a stare at him full of fake confusion. "I'm fine. You are the one who crawled into my bed last night uninvited might I add."

Chuck took a deep breath and placed both of his hands on the back of his head. He stared to pace trying to compose himself. He didn't want to fight with her. He didn't want to risk her kicking him out of the penthouse before he understood what she was doing at that bar last night. Of course it wasn't going to be easy getting her to let her motives out, getting her to let her guard down. Even for him, especially for him. This was Blair. He knew out of all people he would be the one who she would try the hardest to fool. Denial was Blair's specialty. And she was very good at it. Chuck knew when she was lying. She knew Chuck could tell when she was lying to him. He really wondered why she tried to appear different to him. He knew her. He knew all of her. He could see though every wall she put up. Even so Blair just sat there staring at him frozen like a statue. She didn't say anything to him. She could tell she upset him and deep down she really wanted him to stay, though she didn't want to admit that out loud. Besides it was his turn to talk.

"Blair. Do you even remember what happened last night? You should be thanking me."

"Chuck…" She started to try to argue with him, but she really didn't remember too much of last night. All she knew was that she must have drunk a lot.

"I mean I scooped you up and carried you out of this filthy bathroom in a bar in Brooklyn. Brooklyn Blair really?"

Blair just sat there gaping at him. Brooklyn? So that part wasn't a dream.

"I actually went to Vanessa's apartment didn't I?" Blair asked him already knowing the answer.

"You were lucky you went with her. She was the one who told me where to find you."

"I didn't need you to save me Chuck! I'm fine."

"Really Blair? Do Upper East Side girls who are fine drink so much they pass out on bathroom floors? You could have easily died. You had enough alcohol in you."

Blair just stared at him her face like ice. She knew she had been caught in a very embarrassing situation. Of all people why did it have to be Chuck that found her? Her mind was blank. For the first time she had no idea what to say. She could feel tears of shame and embarrassment forming in her throat. She was determined not to let herself cry in front of him. She was not going to show him weakness, not after everything he put her through. He didn't deserve to know about her life anymore. It was none of his business. At the moment all Blair could focus on was keeping a straight face in front of him.

Chuck knelt down and placed his hands on her lap. He felt her jump ever so slightly. She probably didn't think he noticed that small of a movement, but he noticed EVERYTHING about her.

"I took you home. I got you ready for bed…"

"You dressed me?" She interrupted him.

"Blair it wasn't like that. I put you in a night dress and carried you to the bed. I promise that's all."

She looked at his face. He was telling the truth about everything. Blair bit her lip and having no where to look she put her head down in her hand. Her headache seemed to be getting worse by the second.

"Here!" Chuck exclaimed handing her a couple of Advil and a bottle of water. He had been keeping the water and medicine on the bed next to him waiting for her to wake up.

Blair took them from him reluctantly and swallowed the pills.

"Thank you…" she whispered gratefully. The water tasted good.

Chuck waited as Blair proceeded to drink down the rest of the bottle. If it wasn't apparent before that Blair was severely dehydrated it certainly was now. She tossed the empty bottle in the waste basket under her vanity table. Chuck could tell by the look on her face that she needed more. But she would never ask him for more. She was probably already embarrassed at how fast she chugged down the first bottle. He waited a moment and then walked back over to the bed and grabbed the second bottle he had been saving for her. He started to hand it to her but then pulled back.

Blair rolled her eyes. "May I have it please?" She asked, sounding a little more eager than she meant to.

"Not so fast." Chuck replied trying to hide his urge to smirk. "Not until you tell me the real reason you were in Brooklyn last night and why you went over to Vanessa's."

"Vanessa and I are…friends…" she started.

"Blair!" Chuck interrupted "Come on. Tell me the real reason."

Blair looked at him frustrated. She pleaded with her eyes for him to just drop the subject. Chuck continued to stare at her seriousness on his face. His eyes told her he was not giving up until he had a reasonable explanation for her behavior last night. She put her hands into her lap. She looked down at them and started cracking her knuckles. She stopped playing with her fingers but kept her head down.

"I was in Brooklyn because it is away from Gossip Girl's Radar. I've been going there or places like it for a while. Vanessa was not supposed to be with me last night. I must have found myself near her apartment and come over because I didn't want to be alone…. I don't know…I don't remember Chuck."

"It's because you were already wasted when you got to her place." Chuck stated.

Blair looked up at him. Her cheeks flushed. She knew she had been caught in some less than Waldorf behavior. She knew that last night seemed completely out of character of her for anyone that knew her. And it was out of character. That was the point. Being drunk, being away from the Upper East Side, away from him, that was the only way Blair could forget for even just a little bit. She could block out the night she had with Chuck's Uncle Jack. If she pretended she was an entirely different person, if she placed herself out of her element, if she could lose herself, she would forget. By the time she usually got home she was too tired or drunk to have trouble sleeping. Blair preferred this kind of reckless behavior over going about her normal life and lying in bed at night replaying the images and feelings of that night over and over again in her head.

"I was there because I didn't want Gossip Girl to track me. That's all." She whispered with embarrassment in her voice.

"And what about the drinking?" he asked her.

Blair bit her lip. She really did not want to tell him the real reason she was out. She had to come up with a lie and fast.

"It was one of the girls at NYU. She called me a spoiled UES Princess. She told me I was incapable of lasting the night in Brooklyn drunk. She dared me to get drunk like that and spend the night in Brooklyn. I went to Vanessa's so she could vouch for me at NYU. I needed a witness to put that whiny little snot in her place."

Blair finished and gave him the most composed face she could muster. Chuck studied her face. Her story sounded almost reasonable enough to be true. But something still didn't add up. She looked so tired, bags under her eyes. And she was still really pale. She was of course still the most beautiful girl he had ever seen but she did not look healthy. He turned his attention to her facial expression. She was a good liar, he'd give her that. But he knew she was lying. Her eyes always gave it away. When she lied to him she always looked just over his eyes. When she was telling the truth she would look right into his eyes, letting him know she had nothing to hide and that he could trust her.

"I can't make you tell me the truth Blair." Chuck said to her his voice sounding defeated.

Blair felt more tears forming in her throat. She swallowed but kept quiet. She didn't know whether she was just embarrassed or if the tears were because of something more. If she really thought hard about what she desired. The answer would have been to tell him the truth. Maybe he would understand. Maybe he wouldn't leave and she could just continue to look at his face. A deep feeling burned inside of her as she looked at his hurt eyes. She couldn't imagine loving anyone more than she loved him. But she was still so hurt and confused by what he did. If he loved her the way she loved him. How could he just give her to his uncle? She should be more than a piece of property to him. To Blair, Chuck was everything whether she admitted it or not. When he hurt she died a little inside and she hated that. Because even after what he had done to her. She couldn't hate him. She couldn't even really be angry with him. She just hurt. He was the only one that had the power to hurt her so deeply that she would look for reckless and deadly ways to numb the pain.

Blair sighed and started to speak quietly. "I just…I didn't want to feel anything for a while. I wanted to be someone other than myself."

Chuck 's face suddenly became alive with the realization of what she was telling him.

"You didn't want to feel because you are hurting." Chuck stated.

He didn't need for her to answer because her face said it all. Deep down he knew this behavior had to be the result of something awful happening to her, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to know what happened to her that night she spent with Jack. Both he and Blair were masters at avoiding problems and living in denial. Neither one of them faced problems head on, at least not at first. And by the time they faced the problem things always seemed to be more painful as if the problem grew while they were trying to make it go away.

Blair couldn't hold them back any longer. A few tears swiftly rolled down her cheeks. She sat there very still. There wasn't any point hiding things now. Her face lost all of its composure. Once again she couldn't hide from him. He was right there in her face demanding the truth and she was an open book to him. There would never be anyone but Chuck who could tell she was lying so easily. There wouldn't be anyone else who knew her well enough, who could push all of her buttons the way he pushed hers. She was his. He essentially owned her heart and there was nothing she could do to shake it.

Chuck knelt down in front of her again. He took his hand and wiped away a tear from her cheek. Blair's stomach filled with butterflies at his touch. She wanted to be with him, close to him. She wanted to forget what happened but the images of that night were still so fresh, so gruesome in her mind. She practically started shaking thinking about the events of that night. Chuck didn't know what to say. He was terrified to know the details of that night. But he wanted to fix things. He wanted to make her whole again. He knew it was going to take time for her to feel normal again. Then there was a part of him that desperately wanted to know what happened in that hotel room. Because really until Chuck knew what happened he would never be able to stop the empty hallow feeling that was now constantly in his chest.

"I know this is my fault." Chuck told her while moving a piece of hair behind her ear.

Blair couldn't speak. She couldn't even move away. He had that effect on her. His eyes, his lips, his jaw line, everything about him consumed her. She lost all thought. She suddenly realized she was holding her breath. Without trying to make it too obvious that he had indeed made her forget to breathe, Blair sucked in a deep breath.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked her fully willing to leave if she wanted him to. Inside he never wanted to leave. Now more than ever he was worried for her safety. Not only because of her reckless behavior, but also because he was not even really sure his uncle would leave her alone. Jack had always had a thing for Blair. Jack and Blair slept together right after Chuck's father past away. Chuck had forgiven her for that. Chuck and Blair were not officially together back then. And she was hurting; again because of the way Chuck was treating her. She didn't know what kind of man his Uncle Jack was back then. But ever since then Jack seemed to be obsessed with taking Blair away from Chuck. Jack played it as an attack on taking material things away from Chuck but Chuck just had this gut wrenching feeling that the ultimate prize for his uncle would be to get the girl Chuck loved into bed with him and he seemed to have accomplished that very thing. What was worse is that Chuck helped Jack make that happen. He started to feel like he was going to puke. Chuck was disgusted with himself. What kind of person was he to do such a thing? Blair was the only thing he had ever loved. He would die for her. But the thought of losing his hotel to his uncle after he had worked so hard to build up his Empire…he knew that Blair would help him do anything to save it, but he also knew that if he told her he had orchestrated the entire thing her behavior in front of Jack would not be real and Chuck needed it to be real. He really thought she would understand when he had the chance to explain but now thinking it over, looking at Blair's broken face. He knew without a doubt he had fucked up big time. He was scum. He didn't deserve her. But he still loved her more than he had ever loved anything in his life. He was determined to fix what he had broken. But today didn't seem like the day.

After several minutes of Blair not responding to his question, Chuck decided it was best just to go. He grabbed the water bottle from off of the floor and handed it to her. He had almost made it into the hallway when he felt her grab his hand.

"No…" She whispered. "I mean no…don't go."

She led him back over to her bed. She laid down and patted the spot next to her. Chuck got onto the bed laid down on his back and pulled her tiny frame close to him. Blair curled up next to him and rested her head on his chest. It all felt to natural and so right to be together like this, to be holding each other. It didn't mean that everything was fixed but they didn't need to talk about everything all at once. In that moment all they needed was to be there for each other to protect each other to comfort each other. They didn't need to speak to know that was all it was.

"I just don't want to be alone today." Blair explained to him, as her eyes fluttered closed.

"And I don't want you to be alone. I'll stay as long as you need." Chuck replied, burying his face in her hair.

Chuck reached out his far hand and searched for his phone on the other side of the bed. When he found it, he sent a text to someone at the Empire letting them know he would be out for the day.

"Chuck…" Blair addressed him in a sleepy tone, her eyes were still closed.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Do you know what happened to my phone?"

Chuck laughed a bit. He had checked Blair's coat pocket the night before to find Blair's phone smashed like a broken cookie. He figured when she passed out she must have fallen on top of it. The phone was beyond repair.

Chuck smirked a little thinking about what a mess it was.

"Don't worry about it Blair. We'll get you a new one."

Blair didn't answer. She was already sleeping soundly in his arms. In that moment that day things were peaceful. That day they could both forget and they were grateful for some rest.