Chapter 1 Monsters and Dreams

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"Can you feel the air? Can you see the heart of your lover beating its last time, lying forgotten on the ground? Do you see every last drop of blood pooling through the packed clay, soaking into the cracks of the earth, staining it, polluting it?"

Everything is dying.

The flesh of humanity was not meant to decay in such profuse quantities. The land whimpers under the weight of so much death. Worms and insects drown in the swamp that swept the planet overnight. Even the flies have all died, burst to pieces from the abundance of meat to gorge themselves upon. The plants wither and wilt, all water long since corrupted, strains of copper and ruby running like rivers through their veins and dripping back into the saturated dirt.

So much death.

Bodies lie in mountains – disjointed, broken, mangled, and mutilated. Scalps torn apart, faces shredded, limbs ripped and severed, skin burned; gouges and holes, ragged and ugly.

One remained standing. One was still alive, alone amid the carnage and completely clean but for the blood dripping from the tip of his sword and the gleeful smile on his face.

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He woke with a gasp, reaching for his sword and fumbling when he realized it was not in his arms. He was lying in a bed, too, a position he was long unaccustomed to for this very reason. It was so much easier to sleep soundly enough to dream when he was completely comfortable and not ready to fight at a moment's notice. He calmed as soon as his fingers closed along the leather grip of the hilt where the blade was resting on the floor next to him and he let out a slow breath, deliberately trying to calm his racing heart.

"Kuro-poo sounds a little upset." Fai's voice drifted softly from across the short space separating their futons.

Kurogane looked over at the magician where he lay with closed eyes pointed up toward the ceiling. He huffed but did not comment.

Fai cracked an eye open and turned a quick glance to the swordsman. "It's not like you to be frightened of anything."

"Who said I was frightened?"

Fai just chuckled.

Kurogane sat up, resting an arm across a bent knee and placing his sword over his lap. It seemed he would not be getting back to sleep in the near future. "Not everyone can be as carefree as you, you know. Some of us have a conscience that sometimes keeps us up at night."

Fai smiled faintly for a brief moment before frowning and opening his eyes, turning to look at him fully. "I have been in the same room as you for months now, Kuro-chi, and I never remember this happening before."

Kurogane looked away, fixing his gaze on the wall.

"Kurogane."

"What?"

"You didn't answer me."

"You didn't ask anything."

Fai huffed, sounding impatient. "What's going on?"

"Nothing you need to worry about, Magician." He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the wall, refusing to look at the other man's face, but Fai got out from under his blankets and crawled across the floor. He gripped Kurogane's chin and forced his head to turn, blue eyes narrowed in concern and frustration.

"Why have you not had a nightmare before now if they're as normal as you make them out to be?"

Kurogane finally looked up, expression resigned. "I don't sleep."

Fai's eyebrows knit in confusion. "You sleep all the time."

"No, not really." Kurogane reached up and gently pushed the magician's hand down, turning away again. "I'm always aware of my surroundings when I sleep upright like I usually do. I trained myself how to get the rest I need while never actually needing to fall completely asleep."

"Why?" Fai asked after barely a moment's hesitation.

"I'm not the man I used to be. I don't crave power like I used to and the idea of killing doesn't sit with me nearly as well anymore. But I'm always afraid part of me will lose control. That I'll go back to that time when I didn't cringe at the idea of my blade dividing flesh and I'll become as much of a monster as the demons my people fight. Sometimes my mind shows me what that might look like, if that were to happen."

Fai's eyes widened in understanding. "You're afraid of your dreams."

Kurogane stared blankly ahead. "Yeah."