Jane slowly awakes from her first restful night's sleep in quite a while. She rolls over to the other side of the bed, gently placing her hand down finding only cool sheets. She lifts her head and looks towards the bathroom door which is open with the lights off, her wife nowhere to be found. She gets out of bed, stretching her back and legs before walking out into the hallway. The sun coming in from the windows shocks her body even more awake and she walks downstairs into the kitchen.
Her wife, Doctor Maura Isles, the love of her life is standing in the kitchen. She is leaning against the kitchen counter, cup of tea in hand, staring out the window above the sink, into the backyard. Jane walks as quietly as she can over and slides her arms around her wife's waist. She takes in her scent, resting her chin on her shoulder. She can see the corner of Maura's mouth turn upward.
"Good morning, how did you sleep?"
"Good. You're up early this morning."
"I received a call from the Chelsea police department about sending a body to my office this morning. They say it's urgent." Maura turns to give her wife a proper hug. "I couldn't fall back to sleep after so I decided to make some tea." She signals to her cup as she moves to sit on one of the stools at the kitchen island. "Are the kids still asleep?"
"I didn't check, but I didn't hear any movement when I was upstairs." Jane starts the coffee maker and before she can speak again she is interrupted by a loud bang. "What the hell was that?" She instantly starts towards the stairs, running up them two at a time. "Is everyone okay?" She yells, hoping to God her children are alright. She doesn't get a response and her heart starts to quicken.
She is relieved when she sees her oldest child, her son Oliver walk out of his room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "What happened?" His voice is a raspy whisper as he looks at his mothers who are just as confused as he is.
"Addison!" Jane yells as she moves towards her daughter's room.
When she pushes the door open she nearly falls over at what she sees. Her daughter is lying in her bed, a gunshot wound to her abdomen, she is gasping for air; the pure terror in her eyes is enough to kill Jane on the spot. On the wall behind her bed, written in her blood are the words 'you can't save them all' she hears her daughter gasp out the word Mama before Jane is startled awake.
Her chest heaves up and down as she tries to convince herself it was just another nightmare. She has been having these exact nightmares since they adopted Addi. Maura wakes up and sits up rubbing Jane's back whispering in her ear.
"It's alright. You're alright." Jane nods, acknowledging her wife's attempts to soothe her. "The same one?" Jane nods again as she pulls her comforter off and walks out of the room. Knowing where she's going and that she needs to do this, Maura lets her go and lies back down.
Jane tiptoes down the hallway to her daughter's bedroom door, gently pushing it open. Her shoulders relax when she sees her daughter peacefully asleep, uninjured, safe, just like she always is. She watches for a while. She notes how her chest moves up and down, her eyelids twitch and her lips are parted just barely. Jane thinks how hard they fought for their little girl, and how much it would kill her and Maura if they ever lost her.
Before going back to bed she goes to check on their son. She watches his same actions: his rising and falling chest, twitching eyelids, his long eyelashes moving just barely as he dreams and the way his hand curls to a near fist above his head, sleeping the same way he has since he was a baby. She closes his door as quietly as possible before going back to bed. She lies down next to her wife. The woman she loves more than anything else in this world. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps, all the tension from her forehead is gone, her furrowed brow from her constantly working brain is finally at rest and she looks just like she did when she was younger. Jane smiles and kisses her wife on the cheek before wrapping back up in the blanket and falling asleep for a few more hours.
When she wakes again, she is met, not with her wife but her daughter, next to her in her bed. Jane rolls over and kisses her on the forehead.
"Good morning baby." She whispers into her ear.
Addison opens one eye first, looking with her green eyes at her mother.
"Morning Mama" she yawns and cuddles into Jane's side "Mom said you had another one of your nightmares. Are you okay?"
Jane gives an unhappy chuckle, "Yes baby, I'm okay." Jane rubs her hand up and down Addi's arm, "You're too sweet to me."
"You shouldn't worry about me so much." Addison says with a seriousness she must have learned from Maura.
"I'm your Mama, it's my job. If I don't worry about you what will I do all day?"
"Your job?" Addison answers in a sarcastic voice. Jane tickles her side.
"I take back the sweet comment. You're a brat." Jane says as she laughs along with her daughter.
Maura walks into the bedroom, smiling at the sight of mother and daughter enjoying one another's company.
"Mom, help!" Addison yells a plea to Maura to get Jane off of her.
"You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out." Is her only reply.
"No fair! Uncle! Uncle!" She yells and Jane lets up.
Addison pulls her t-shirt back down fully but not before Jane catches a glimpse of the scar that runs the length of her abdomen, left to right. Every time she sees it she feels the same amount of anger she felt that day. Addison doesn't talk about it much. Neither Jane nor Maura bring it up so they won't upset her.
"How you doing? Have you had any nightmares lately?"
Addison shrugs, "A couple."
This surprises Jane. Usually she wakes up when Addison has nightmares because she becomes very vocal in her sleep.
"You know you can always come wake me or mom up if you get scared right?" Jane's voice has become serious as she wraps her daughter back into a hug. Maura joins them on the bed, resting her hand on her daughter's knee.
"Yeah, I know." Despite all the times she has been told this she still feels embarrassed about her past.
She's never truly opened up and that is cause for concern for her mothers, having dealt with hundreds of traumatized children in their professions.
"What's going on with you, huh?" Jane asks, squeezing her daughter's shoulders tightly
"Nothing." This gets a look from both her parents. "I'm gonna go wake Ollie up." She walks out of the room before she can be called back to talk further about her feelings.
She rushes into her brother's room and jumps onto his bed. He groans and rolls over to his stomach, forcing his pillow into his face.
"Oliver!" She yells, getting closer to his ear. She bounces up and down until he rips the pillow away and glares at his sister. "Good morning." She says sweetly, with a smirk.
"What do you want? It's Saturday." He groans in his grumpy, sleepy voice. He looks at the digital clock on his nightstand. "It's 9:30 AM."
"Thank you father time." This gets another glare and he sits up. He is tall and towers over his sister who is now sitting cross-legged, smiling brightly at him. "Do you want to go play soccer today?" He thinks about it for a second and then nods. He can never say no to his little sister, and therefore partakes in sports and other activities that he doesn't particularly enjoy but he knows she does.
Oliver and Addison walk to the Boston Commons, the largest park in the city which happens to be right near their house. They usually spend their Saturday's together, especially when their moms need to work, which is more often than not. It's the first few days of September, and school starts the following week. Addison will be starting high school and Oliver has been sensing how nervous she is.
"So, you ready for school to start?" He asks tossing the ball up in the air for her to hit it with her head.
"What do you think?" It bounces from her head to her chest to her knee where she juggles it a couple times before kicking it back to her brother.
"You shouldn't be nervous. It's really no different than middle school."
"Says the Boy Wonder. You get school. You like school. All of my friends are staying in Boston Public and I have to go to this fancy, college prep private school."
"So that's what this is about." Ollie answers, kicking the ball gently towards his sister.
"What if no one likes me? What if I'm the dumbest one?"
Oliver gives her a look of pure disbelief at the idea that she could ever possibly think she's dumb. She doesn't see the look. She's focused on her feet which are absentmindedly kicking the ball from one to the other.
"You're not dumb. You never could be. You're gonna do great at the new school. I didn't know anyone when I went there last year, but I made friends. Besides, I'll be there to have your back." She looks up and into her brother's eyes. They have the same loving and compassionate look they always do. He raises his eyebrows and she shrugs.
"I guess you're right. How bad could it be?" Her voice waivers, she is still not even remotely convinced but doesn't want to talk about it anymore. She kicks the ball at him, hard, and it nearly hits him in the head.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, slipped." She laughs and runs away as he starts to chase after.
A couple hours later Oliver pulls his cell phone out of his pocket.
"Ma wants us home."
When they walk through the front door Jane and Maura are sitting on the couch. Maura is reading a book with Jane's feet resting on her lap as she watches a day old baseball game.
"Hey kids" Jane greets, sitting up and looking away from the screen.
"Hey" they answer in unison.
"How was the park?" Maura asks, putting her book down to take in her kids' dirty, disheveled appearance.
"Good." Oliver says. Addi remains silent.
Without saying a word she goes up to her room, placing her soccer ball on the chair and pulling her pin straight hair out of its pony tail, rubbing the sore spot from the hair tie. There's a knock on her door, Jane is standing there with a bottle of water.
"Hey Ma," She holds her hands out to catch the bottle. "What's up?"
"Can we talk to you?" She sits on the edge of the bed. Maura walks in after her.
They both have somber expressions on their faces as Addi sits in between the two of them. Jane clears her throat and gently puts her hand on her daughter's shoulder.
"Baby, I don't know how to tell you this but, um, Wendell Miller is pleading insanity, and they are genuinely considering letting him out of prison."
There isn't an immediate reaction like they expected. Instead Addison sits in silence. Her eyes are clearly working through what her mother just said.
"So he murders my parents, and gets away with it?"
There isn't an answer for that. Maura kisses her daughter's temple and rubs her back.
"The justice system is imperfect." Jane starts, "He hasn't been told one way or another whether or not he'll be released. If he is, he will be moved to a high security psych hospital, he won't be released into the public."
"So?" Addi's tone is now angry as the reality of the situation sinks in. "That doesn't make it okay. He doesn't deserve to get help. He deserves to rot in prison. He deserves to die. He doesn't deserve help from other decent people because he'll only take advantage. People like Wendell Miller don't change, they're scum." Addison moves to her dresser where her parent's wedding picture sits in a wooden frame. "What he did was horrible."
"We know baby. Trust me we're just as upset about this as you are." Jane says
"Doubt that." She picks the picture frame up and hugs it to her chest. "Can I be alone for a while?" Neither Jane nor Maura move; worrying about what is going on in their daughter's head. "Please."
"Sure sweetheart," Maura says moving towards the door. "We'll be downstairs if you need us."
Once outside of the bedroom with the door closed, Jane pulls Maura into her arms and speaks softly into her ear. "She'll be alright."
"I'm so worried about her. This is the last thing she needs."