Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own the Hunger Games trilogy and sadly never will for Suzanne Collins is the mastermind behind all the amazingness that is the Hunger Games.
Alternate ending to "Mockingjay"
The days start to go by, somehow. Life continues. It's funny like that. Even when everything you love has disappeared from the face of the Earth, never to be seen again, their laughter never to be heard again, their smiles never to be seen again… life does go on in the cruel way that it does. What I had thought was impossible begins to happen without my knowledge- it crept up on me. I slowly started to accept the fact that Rue, Finnick, Cinna, Prim… Prim… I started to accept the fact that I will have to continue my life without them here with me. At least not physically. Sometimes I would talk to them when I had no one else to turn to- after Greasy Sae left for her own makeshift home where the Hob used to be with her granddaughter who entertained herself with my mother's blue ball of yarn. It seems weird to admit it to myself, but I begin to crave human company. After being constantly surrounded by people, the solitude that I was so used to before the madness and cruelty of the Hunger Games have infiltrated and changed my life forever seems so foreign to me. That's when I would talk to Prim about random things that I see throughout the day, or to Cinna, describing to him the colors that I see around me, or to Finnick, telling him about how Annie was doing according to the letters she sends faithfully every month.
I set my bow down next to me and throw aside my shoes as I sat down in the Meadow. The grass and leaves are lush and green- soft under my feet. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, willing myself not to think of the arena. Of the burning sensation that made me a fire mutt in the same instant that my beloved sister, my everything, was removed ever so cruelly from this world. Instead I recite in my head the phrases so often repeated to myself in order to hold on to my sanity that they have become a part of me: my name is Katniss Everdeen. I live in District Twelve. I am the Mockingjay. I was the Mockingjay. I was entered into the arena twice as a tribute in the Hunger Games. The Capitol is gone. Gale, my best friend, is now in District Two. I don't know where I stand with Peeta. I'm back home in District Twelve, in safety. I let out a deep breath as I open my eyes and stare at the sky, lying down in the Meadow with the new buds of life cushion my body from the soil underneath. The sun has just begun to set and the sky was magnificent, painted in shades of light pinks, dull yellows, brilliant reds, and soft hues of orange. Orange. Seeing his favorite color painted all across the endless sky triggers an influx of memories. The feel of his hand in mine- the way his eyes used to light up just for me. The way he always double knotted his shoelaces, the relief and the surge of love that I felt when I saw him for the first time since the train back from the first Hunger Games- that relief and surge of love that I was too afraid to admit to myself at the time and convinced myself that it was all just a show when it wasn't. The feeling of elation when he wrapped his arms around me as we fell into the soft pillow of snow as one…
I closed my eyes, imagining his beautiful blue eyes, trying not to forget them and the way they pierced into mine in the gentlest way possible, filled with undeniable love. The way he used to look at me never fully returned ever since the Capitol hijacked his memories of me, programming and designing him especially to kill me. Their plan did not prevail, but in some ways, the Capitol and Snow had their mini victory before plummeting to their downfalls. Although Peeta was not successful in killing me physically, it killed my heart to realize that he saw me as the true me. The vicious, unrelenting, heartless girl who doesn't trust a soul in the world other than herself. It killed me to know that although he was pronounced "recovered" by Dr. Aurelius, he never truly will be. The light that always shined in his eyes when he stared at me in the arena or in school as children before they quickly flit away will never return. And that is how Snow and the Capitol took a piece of me as they went down. The only person who held me in the light of perfection- they shattered that image, that light- the person I needed the most before going away with the dust.
Peeta and I haven't spoken since running into each other while he planted the primrose bushes. He somehow managed to finish planting the bushes before I woke up in the morning and as a result my house in the Victor's Village is now surrounded with primrose bushes, waiting for summer to breathe in a breath of life. In the mornings I would wake up to the sweet aroma of bread wafting through the house and find downstairs a fresh roll of bread every day left on the counter. Even though the gesture was simple, it hit me every time with a pang of sadness mixed in with a bit of gratefulness. The fact that he still cared about me in some sort of way left me feeling happier than ever, for it was more than what I could hope for. Yet it reminded me of the way he used to be, how I would wake up from my nightmares and feel safe to be in his arms, and how ever since I got back home I would wake up screaming only to be comforted by the soft kitten mews of Buttercup. I relished his company and the way he protected me just as he did with Prim, yet it was nothing compared to waking up and feeling secure in the strong arms of Peeta.
I closed my eyes, blocking out the hues of orange in the sky that reminded me so much of him, and whispered to no one in particular his name. Peeta. It felt good to say his name out loud and not hear it revolve in my head again and again. As I let another quick breath out, my keen hunter senses felt the vibration of someone's footsteps ever so gently shaking the Meadow. The footsteps stopped next to where my bow was, and not bothering to open my eyes I asked, "Done recovering from your hangover, Haymitch?"
The voice that answered me back wasn't what I had been expecting at all.
"Last time I checked, I wasn't intoxicated out of my mind any time in the past few weeks, or in my whole life, for that matter, but to answer your question, probably not. I went into his house to bring him some fresh bread this morning and he was completely out of it. But Greasy Sae's doing a nice job of keeping his house clean. I couldn't recognize it without all the mold and clutter at first."
My eyes snapped open. The view that greeted me was an amazing one- my eyes and soul drank up his presence and his existencenext to mine, soaking in the ever so familiar laughter in his voice, the double-knotted shoes, working their way up to what I had been saving for last. His eyes were a clear yet smoky blue, staring at me with hesitation of what my reaction would be- yet I didn't care. My eyes stared into his searchingly, looking for the piece of Peeta I longed for to come back. And it was there. Almost completely. The love that I was so used to seeing, the love that I had taken for granted. He was there. Alive. Well. And in front of me.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey guys (: For anyone out there reading this, feedback would be SO greatly appreciated. Any criticisms or etc. (: This is just the first chapter. I love you to whoever is actually reading this! I'll try to update as soon as possible. Tumblr: .