My Love,
I waited for you for many years. I've loved you for even longer. I waited until you finally told me those 3 little words, but you were too late. I was with someone else. Now that I reflect on it, I think you always knew you would win my heart back, but really you didn't need to, you always had it. In the hallway that day I pushed you away, not to hurt you, but to do what was best to let you grow. I think that's what you were trying to do for me, I still don't know, it happened to recently for me to fully wrap my thoughts around it.
Anyways, the year after you told me you loved me was sheer bliss, well almost all of it. Every moment we were together I felt like my heart was going to burst and even when we were apart for just a couple of hours I longed to be near you. I'm still sorry that we couldn't start our life together after that year. I was so proud of you when I saw you on that stage taking that piece of paper. It was our ticket out of here and I blew it. You told me that whole summer that I'd be fine, that we would be fine. And I almost believed you until you left that Wednesday morning. I told you I wouldn't go with you to see you start this new life without me, because it would hurt too much. And even though I didn't go with you, it still hurt, it still hurts. I called and you didn't answer. You called and I wasn't there. I waited hours staring at a blank screen just to tell you that I loved you.
I kept waiting until you showed up at my doorstep with two laundry baskets. That day when we were folding clothes in my room, I felt like we were already in that apartment in New York City. The next day when we went to your favorite restaurant and I told you it hurt when you left me, I wanted to take back what I said as soon as the words left my mouth. The following day you broke my heart. You shattered it, but I still managed to love you with every broken piece of it because you are the only one whoever made me feel this way, the only one who will always make me feel this way. And then you were gone. Without another goodbye, you left, you left me. That day I almost thought you stopped loving me. At 3am I got a call from a certain blonde you liked to hate, but knew deep down you loved. It was the same girl that sung to us in Breadstix, a day that I would never forget. She called to reassure me that you still loved me and for whatever reason I knew deep down that you really did. She didn't talk for long but she said she might kill one of us if we weren't back together by Valentine's day. I don't want to wait that long San, I will, but I know its going to hurt more than anything.
Love,
Britt