Title: This Just in from Britain
Characters: Megamind, Minion, (OC)Lauren Lawson, Carlos the doorman
Rating: PG (at the highest)
Word Count: About 4,100
Summary: Lauren Lawson: British; Forensic Artist. Come to Metro City for a job, meet a fish in a gorilla suit.

Artist's Note at the Bottom.

"Here you go, Ms. Lawson – your very own apartment!"

I smiled brightly at the courteous dark-haired Italian doorman. "Thank you so much, Carlos," I said. I tried to hide my north British accent because I had heard that some Americans had trouble with understanding it; I just thought I'd be respectful and try out speaking American, even though it was a bit hard for me. "You didn't have to walk me up here though… I could have found the room myself."

"It was no trouble at all," Carlos told me, waving the thought away with his hand. "It's just that, uh…" I raised an eyebrow at him as he paused and scratched his neck. He also seemed to find a spot on the cream-colored hallway very interesting. Um… okay? "Once in a while," he said slowly, "a guy needs to get away from the door is all."

I looked at him, shifting my weight from my left foot to my right. My eye for artistic detail seemed to pick up that this man was now getting nervous about something… maybe something that he had just remembered about being a doorman. But he's a doorman – what could possibly be wrong with the job to make anyone nervous? No offense to Carlos, but it seemed like a rather boring job all in all. I thought about asking him why he was nervous, but I decided against it because it wouldn't be polite.

The man looked at me, at first with a clueless expression, but then his face had shown physically that something had suddenly clicked in his brain. "Oh, oh, right… I'll get the door."

Carlos carefully set down my red and orange carpet bag (I don't care if other people thought they were ugly – I like them just fine, thank you very much) and then produced a small silver key from the front right pocket of his orange vest jacket. He stepped past me to put the key into the slot on the doorknob and turned it, unlocking the door and pushing it open.

"Ladies first," he said with a grin as he stepped aside and picked up my carpet bag.

I smiled back. "Oh, such a kind gentleman," I returned in a posh tone, putting my hand over my heart dramatically and batting my eye lashes at him.

He laughed and we went into the flat – no, my flat. At once I noticed that in the sitting area we had just entered there were already a small red cloth couch and a matching armchair to the right facing toward the wall the door was on.

"Okay, I didn't know that furniture was included," I admitted, dumbly pointing to said objects.

"Originally they weren't," Carlos told me, "but they changed their minds at the last minute. They also left the dining room table, a refrigerator, and a waste basket in the bathroom."

I raised my eyebrows and nodded approvingly. "Wow," I said, surprised. "Saves me a quid at the furniture store then."

Carlos grinned. "Yep! Hey, I'm going to round up a couple more guys and we'll take up the rest of your stuff. Go ahead and take a look around; let us know where you want everything."

I smiled at the Italian. "Alright! Thanks so much, Carlos."

"You're welcome, Ms. Lawson," the doorman returned. "And welcome to Metro City."

xxx

Okay, the next thing on the list is eggs… where would they be?

I wandered around the market and finally found the eggs in the back. I was not much of an egg-eater, but I knew that I was going to need them in some basic cooking that I was doing for myself.

Right beside the eggs there was the milk and juice section, so I picked up a large plastic carton of milk and another of orange juice and proceeded to check out.

I left the store carrying bacon, cheese, yogurt, and eggs in a plastic bag in my left hand and the milk and orange juice jugs in the other – no one else in my family could carry two full jugs in one hand, so I suppose I was skilled that way.

I had only bought some basic refrigerated goods for the time being. It was just enough to get me going the next morning for my first day of work.

I was walking down the street to the bus stop that was a couple blocks away so that I could head home to put everything away and turn in for the night. I had my first day of work tomorrow so I wanted to be ready for the day in the morning with a good night's sleep and a decent breakfast.

The street was empty, it being later in the afternoon, and the tall street lights flickered their yellow color over me. The lights did very little in illuminating the street, which I was still surprised at how much wider than a typical London street it was. Well, America was known for having larger cars than the rest of the world...

But despite my awe I wished that I was at my flat rather than out in an unknown city in the dark. Heck, I even wished that I as back in the U.K. at my mum and dad's house, sitting on their couch and watching the telly. I felt uneasy in such a large city, even though I had always said that I wanted to live in an American city.

I still can't believe I actually made it, I silently mused to myself. I never thought I'd actually do it, and for such a little job as being a forensic artist. That was crazy, right? But it happened anyway, and I was glad. I mean, I could get used to life in a completely different country, right?

I heard someone running up behind me, snapping me from my thoughts. Before I could turn around to see who it was something shoved me and caused me to drop all my groceries. I flew and hit the nearby brick wall with my shoulder; I involuntarily let out a groan as pain uncomfortably rippled through my body.

The next thing I knew someone grabbed my wrists and held me against the wall while I tried to get away. I looked and saw it was a tall blonde guy wearing a thick red plaid jacket. His face looked like he hadn't shaved in days and he wore a dark baseball cap backwards over his long, greasy hair. He had a weird smile on his face and his breath smelled like old corndogs.

I growled at him. "Who the flyin' crap are you? Let go of me!"

I lifted a leg and tried to kick him, preferably in the stomach or crotch, but the man just dodged my feeble attempts as he still easily held my wrists so that I was pinned against the wall.

"Forget trying to escape," he said in a raspy voice, hitting me with his breath at full blast. "Just don't struggle and it'll be easier for the both of us."

I stared at him. "Are you… Ugh!" I yelled in disgust. "Get away from you sick git!" No, no way – I was not gonna let that happen to me! I snarled and kept kicking at him. I tried to wriggle from his grasp again and butted my head forward every time he tried to get closer, deciding that I was not going to let this easy for him at all. Statistics showed that criminals wanted things quick and easy. Fat chance, fathead!

The whole time I was yelling and screaming; if I couldn't get away from this guy on my own I was praying that someone would at least hear me and come to help out.

Amazingly someone did.

"Hey, swoon!" shouted a voice from somewhere above us. "Let the woman go!"

"Sir," a slightly higher voice said, "the word is 'swine.'"

"Totally what I meant!" the first voice declared with the exact same thunderous tone as before. "Let the lady go, swoon!"

The man holding me turned to look behind him, which allowed me to finally see past him, and we both gasped at what we saw.

There was a huge machine that looked like some sort of futuristic hoverbike slowly descending to the ground in the middle of the street. It had huge exhaust pipes that spouted large white and blue flames and the thing made such a terrible noise I wondered how we had not heard it approach before

Driving the bike was what appeared to be a massive gorilla with a glass bowl over its head. Standing behind it, with his fists on his hips and legs spread apart in a triumphant stance, was a man. This man, if it was possible, was even stranger than the gorilla! He had a huge, bald head and his skin was blue of all things, and he was clad in a black skin-tight suit with an electric blue lightning bolt on the front, a black cape with spiked pads over his shoulders and a Dracula-style popped collar.

What on Earth were an alien and a gorilla doing on a motorcycle in the city?

I shook my head to get back to my current predicament: in the process of being attacked, right. The man was still distracted by the two on the flying motorbike, so I took my chance and kneed him in the stomach. Hard. A satisfying gasp came from his mouth and he went to clutch at his mid-section.

However, when he did that the man somehow shoved me off-balance. I stumbled slightly and ended up falling onto my back on the ground. There was a crunch sound and it was obvious that I had landed on something. Brilliant; there go the eggs I just bought.

"Hey, hey, hey – what was that?" I heard the blue man yell. "You don't treat a damsel like that!"

Damsel? What was he talking about? That was a somewhat rude way to describe someone.

I started to sit up, but I slipped and landed back on the ground, my skull smacking painfully against the concrete. I grunted and grabbed the impact point on my head. I didn't want to stay on the ground any longer, however, and I tried to get up again.

There was suddenly a weird, high-pitched laser noise and I jumped at the sight of a blue beam barely missing my attacker. The man shrieked and started to run. I couldn't help the smugness I felt while he quickly shrank away as he ran down the street.

"Minion!" the blue man shouted. "He's getting away! After him!"

"Sir, I think we should first be making sure that the civilian is okay."

"Right, right – you take care of our damsel-in-distress and I'll follow this punk. Code: Gimme the bike!"

"Code: Ask nicely first."

"Minion!"

I thought the conversation between the blue man and the… gorilla, I guess… was pretty funny. I had to try and stop myself from bursting out in giggles in the middle of the sidewalk; it would have made me look a tad mad there.

I started to stand up, but when my head throbbed slightly I sat back down and rubbed the bruise that was forming under my hair.

"Ouch…" I hissed aloud.

I glanced at the alien and his gorilla again and I saw the gorilla quickly hopping down from the bike. It turned and started clanking toward me, and I was surprised to discover that this gorilla was actually a robot!

The blue man had easily slipped into the seat and revved the engine with a grin on his skinny face. "I'll be back for you, Minion!" he called. "First I must capture the seuss-petk and send him to jail in a cube!"

"'Suspect', sir," the gorilla corrected, now standing at my side. The motorbike left and the robotic simian reached for my arm, but I involuntarily flinched back from it and stared.

I noticed that the fur of the gorilla was all completely fake and covered a robotic skeleton like armor. Inside the glass dome on its shoulders I could see a small fish-like creature bobbing inside. It had greenish-blue scales and there were long fins poking out the side of its body like ears. From the bottom I could see tendril-like limbs drooping down and swaying with the fish's every move. Its huge mouth had a massive under bite with really sharp-looking teeth poking out from the bottom jaw.

But the teeth somehow didn't look threatening in the slightest. I noticed its mouth was fixed in a firm frown and its surprisingly human-like brown eyes were wide with… what was that, worry?

"Miss," the fish said in the minion's voice, "are you alright?" He didn't reach for me again and just watched me with that concerned – and yet strangely adorable – expression.

I couldn't answer. I had the slightly rational fear that I was going crazy. I mean, this was a talking fish in a robotic gorilla suit and it was asking me if I was alright. I wondered if I was suffering a particularly alarming bout of stress from moving into a new country.

"Oh!" the fish began again, its eyes somehow growing wider. "Oh! Oh no! He hurt you! Where – where did he hurt you? What did he do? Oh, you must be in shock! Hospital! I must take you to the hospital! Um… blanket?" It began to swim frantically around its water-filled dome as it babbled, and for the moment I could only stare at it. "Where did my boss go? I need the bike to take her to the hospital! And get her a blanket!" it added as an afterthought. Its mechanical gorilla hands trembled and it looked like it wanted to reach for me again, but it kept stopping itself. "Boss! Boss!" it called out. "Come back!"

I frowned at the poor thing. I couldn't just let it freak out like this.

"Oi, hey, calm down," I said, reaching out and awkwardly placing my hand on one of its robotic wrists.

The fish immediately halted its swimming in circles and it drifted slightly in the current it created before stopping and turning to look at me, eyes still huge as tea saucers.

I cleared my throat, suddenly aware that I was nervous. "It's alright," I told it. "I- I'm okay – really. Bonked me head on the sidewalk and crushed some groceries, but I'm fine."

It didn't look entirely convinced, but at least it wasn't yelling and screaming anymore. "A-are you sure?" it asked. "I mean, once my boss comes back with the hoverbike we can get you someplace safer and get you a blanket and maybe get that bump looked at…"

I smiled at it, running my thumb absently over the top of its hand. "I'm fine, fins," I assured it.

The fish suddenly looked confused. "'Fins'?" it asked. "Where did that come from? That's not my name."

"Well, what am I supposed to call you?" I inquired, still grinning. "I couldn't just say 'hey you' or 'monkey-fish' or anything like that. I had to call you something."

It smiled, which I decided was an infinitely better look than the frown and worry. "You could try 'Minion' next time," it – no, he – said. His fish body tilted slightly and he looked at me. "Your accent sounds funny," he observed in a completely serious tone.

I had to giggle at him; just a bit. "It's because I'm British," I replied. "Northern UK. Came here for some work."

The fish made an O shape with his mouth and his body bobbed up and down, like he was nodding. But he didn't say anything.

After a moment Minion coughed and scratched the back of the glass dome with one of its huge gorilla hands. He stood up from his kneeling position and offered me his hands, which I gladly took this time without a second thought, quickly pulling me to my feet.

"Me name's Lauren," I told him. "Lauren Lawson. Figured ya deserved it after giving me yours and helpin' me out." I tilted my head at him. "Is 'Minion' really your name? I thought that was just a job title or somethin'."

"It is my job," he replied. "It's also my name."

I nodded, but I was still a little confused by it. I noticed that I was still holding his hands. Before I knew it I let them go and quickly put my hands behind my back, pretending nothing weird happened.

Oh, yeah, sure, nothing weird is happening at all, my mind suddenly snipped sarcastically. Shut up, brain – you're not making anything better.

I suddenly remembered something. "Oh, shoot!" I said, causing Minion to jump a little.

I spun and knelt down to retrieve my groceries.

"W-what's wrong?" my new friend asked worriedly, sitting down next to me.

I scowled when I opened the dozen-count egg carton. Almost every egg had been crushed, and only two appeared to have survived destruction.

"Ew, that's a mess," Minion commented.

I laughed a little. "Yeah, no kiddin'," I said. I stood up again and tossed the carton into a nearby trash can – one that had a bizarre spray-paint logo of an 'M' with a couple lightning bolts at either side of it.

I turned around again but almost ran into Minion's hulking robot gorilla body. Looking at his face I saw that he was immediately looking sorry and frowning in guilt. I thought it was cute.

"I'm sorry," he apologized immediately. He held out my grocery bag and my handbag to me. "Um, here."

I smiled. "Thank you." I took the bags from them and he quickly went to retrieve my orange juice and milk. I was surprised at how fast a robot body like that could move.

"I just wanna make extra sure," Minion said before handing over the orange juice and milk, "are you absolutely, totally sure you're okay? I mean, I can walk you home if you want. You can get a blanket there, and… I don't want you to get hurt if there's anyone else out here."

I blinked, taken back by the offer. Of all the things that Minion could ask, and he asks to take me back to my flat? That was… unexpected, to say the least.

Minion frowned again. "I'm sorry," he apologized again. "That was really forward. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. I'll just, uh… I'll just go, I guess…" He started to back away from me as he spoke and looked around, as if he was trying to find a way to get away quicker.

I scrunched my eyebrows together slightly. "Oi, 'ey, hold on, who said you could leave?"

I grinned, amused, when Minion froze in place and turned his little fish body within the bowl to look at me. "What? But –"

"I didn't say you could go," I told him, still smiling at his confused little face. I started to walk up to him. "In fact, I think I'll take you up on that offer – that is, if it's still available."

Minion beamed, and I still stand by my original thought that a smile looked better on that face of his. "All right!" he chirped happily. He took the orange juice and milk back, and I let him. "Where do you live? How did you get here? I've never seen you before, but that may be just because there's so many people in Metro City."

"I just moved 'ere," I replied; the smile was now plastered on my face and it was starting to hurt. But I didn't care. "I live in the apartment building a few blocks from 'ere – that really tall one with the balconies."

"Oh!" Minion exclaimed as we began to walk down the street to the bus stop. "You live at that building? Do you know Roxanne Ritchi? She lives there too. She's my boss' girlfriend – well, used to be, but after that whole Tighten thing they decided to start over and try to take things a bit slow. I tried to warn him about getting too close to her while we were trying to prepare an evil plot but you know how Megamind is – always right and everything. Couldn't stand the idea of being even the slightest bit wrong. But now that we're the good guys, I think things'll be a lot nicer for Miss Ritchi and my boss."

We took the bus back to my flat, and surprisingly the bus driver didn't bat an eyelash at the fact that there was a fish in a robotic ape suit sitting in one of his bus seats. On the way Minion kept talking and telling me about Metro City and Tighten and being an ex-villain's minion. And he finally explained his little blanket fetish; it seems that he heard from somewhere that blankets were good for shock victims, though he didn't exactly understand why. I didn't say much other than a few questions and just listened to fish talk. I found the whole story fascinating and I was a little disappointed when we had reached the apartment building.

Minion followed me up to the door to my flat, giving a friendly wave to the doorman Carlos when we passed his desk. Carlos, for some bizarre reason, yelped and dove under the desk. He peaked over the top of the desk and gave a small wave to us as we left him.

I sighed as we stood at the door into the flat, digging absently in my jacket for my keys. "Well," I started, "that was an exciting night."

Minion's fish body tilted. "Why?"

I laughed as I put the key into door lock. "It's not every day that a girl like me gets attacked by a freak and then saved by a fish in a monkey suit."

"Actually, it's a gorilla suit," the fish stated seriously.

I laughed again and patted the fur on his arm with a free hand. "I know, Minion," I said. "I'm just saying – weird night. Does this happen often in Metro City?"

Minion appeared to think a bit. "Well, my boss and I do go around saving people all the time now, so it might…"

I smiled at him. "Well, then thank you for saving me Minion. And thank your boss, too," I added when he opened his mouth to say something. He closed his mouth again and smiled back.

After thinking about it a bit, I motioned for him to lean down closer to me. When he did, I planted a quick kiss on the glass of his water-filled dome. Minion's jaw comically dropped and I giggled, taking the orange juice and milk from him.

"I'll see you around, Minion," I said, pushing the door to my flat open with my hip.

"Um, you too, Miss Lawson," Minion replied, still leaning down. He cleared his throat and stood up again. "I- I hope this time you'll remember to stay out of trouble," he told me, smiling slightly.

I hummed. "Hm. But if I do get into trouble, will you be there to save me? Like tonight? I mean, you're a good guy now, after all."

"Of course," he answered quickly. "Uh, have a good night, Miss Lawson."

I smiled sweetly at him. "You too, Minion." I backed into my apartment and put a hand on the door.

"Take care of yourself," Minion told me.

"Mm-hm."

"Welcome to Metro City."

"Thank you."

"Sleep well, tonight."

"I will."

"Um… if you need anything…"

I laughed. "Good-bye, Minion," I said with emphasis, smirking at him.

"Oh, right, okay," he said, starting to back away toward where the elevator was. "Okay then, um, good-bye, Miss Lawson. Have a good night and, uh, I'll… I guess I'll go find out if my boss caught that man yet. See ya!"

He started to run down the hall and waved at me. I couldn't help but smile at him.

I closed and locked the door to my flat and went to set my things down on the dining room table. I sat down in a stepping stool set up nearby and leaned on the table top, still grinning. I also had the strangest urge to pull out a blanket from one of my moving boxes and curling up with it on the couch.

I think I'm gonna like Metro City, I thought to myself. It's all just so exciting.

End…? :D

A/N:This is the surprise fan-fiction that I've been (poorly) building up to on DeviantART. I can hear the responses now: "Aww... I thought it was going to be something awesome!Boo!"

No seriously... I can hear it. Should get my head checked soon... XD

Kidding.

But yeah, here it is. Been writing for a bloody year and, with massive pieces lying on the cutting room floor, here is the final product. I still think it could be better though.

I couldn't help making a reference to Sherlock's shock blanket ( on Youtube at .com/watch?v=qk4_Oumo9Q). I just thought it fit so perfectly! So I ripped it off of a TV show (a holy-crap-this-is-awesome good one at that XD). I'm sorry if you are upset about that. (By the way, my shock blanket came in the mail the other day and I'm absolutely ecstatic!)

It was hard writing from a British person's perspective. I have no idea why I made her British... I guess I just wanted to try something different from usual. So... yay! Did I win?

I'll only add more to this story if you guys beg for it. There's a cute phone conversation between Minion and Lauren that I couldn't use in this one...

-

Comment please. Genius loves an audience. I'm referring to Megamind, obviously.

Megamind (c) Dreamworks
Preview art, story, writing, and Lauren all (c) me - please don't steal it. Please!