During the Christmas season Robert Squarpants has a tendency to be a bit more boisterous than he usually is. Namely, at his annual party, he gets a bit tipsy. Of course everyone is a little drunk so its not much of a problem, until he has eggnog. After his second year of Christmas parties it became well known that he really shouldn't have eggnog (no one enforces it but its still a well known fact).
It was during one of his parties, his fifth annual one to be exact, that Patrick had thought it a good idea to snap a quick picture of him in a compromising position. Of course being the good friend he is he kept this picture secret in his "Secret Box". Seeing as little Bobby was beyond drunk he had no memory of what was transpiring in the picture.
Now that doesn't mean no one else remembers what happened.
The party, although starting hours earlier, was now in full swing. It was almost as if the entire population of Bikini Bottom was at this party, celebrating the Christmas season. Robert Squarepants was near the snack table and, feeling a bit parched, made himself a glass of eggnog. After his first glass he made up another and left to converse with his guests.
To his, and everyone else's surprise Edward Tentacles had made it. Of course he had been invited for the past five years but never seemed to make it to his blonde neighbor's parties. Usually deciding that sleeping in on his one vacation weekend was a better option.
Robert was elated to see his unhappy mug for the first time that night. Eddie was hiding in the shadows, per his norm at social gatherings.
Making his way towards him, with as much grace as a car sick dog, Bob had finally made it to Eddie's side.
"Edward!" he yells over the music. "You finally made it!" Edward winces at the pitch in which Robert is talking but decides he should look past it.
"Yes, I couldn't seem to sleep with all of the racket over here." Edward says as Robert takes a gulp of his 'nog. He sees him looking and offers some to him.
"Why not?" He thinks as he too takes a gulp.
Hours later a select few people are sitting in a circle. Robert, Edward, Sandy, Patrick, Mindy, Sheldon and Eugene. They've been playing a game of truth or dare that's been mostly truths up to this point (not any juicy ones mind you).
"Truth or dare?" Mindy asks Robert. He thinks for a second, takes a quick gulp of his glass, then answers.
"DEAR!" He slurs with a giggle.
Mindy mocks thinking about what to say, already having it in her head since the second round. "I dare you, Bob, to..."she pauses for effect. "kiss...Eddie. For a whole minute."
The looks of complete shock around the circle were no surprise to her.
"Wh-what? I'm not kissing him!" Edward yells, shaking his head back and forth, having to stop before he barfs.
"I didn't dare you did I Eddie? I dared Bobby and he has to do it, those are the rules." Robert looks at Eddie's eyes, or at least he tries to, and sees the pleading look in them.
"Unless you're a chicken." Patrick says, adding in his two cents.
"I'm no chicken!" Robert yells, then in a sudden moment of adrenaline rush chugs the rest of his eggnog and turns to land a smooch on Eddie's face.
The kiss isn't soft at first considering he practically fell onto his lap. After the initial shock of having the small blonde in his lap Eddie takes hold of his small face and readjusts; with his legs straddling him Robert automatically rests his hands on his shoulders.
Robert can faintly hear cheers the distinct sound of a camera but the feel of Eddies lips reciprocating to his is equal to euphoria and urges him to push a little harder into the kiss. Edward, with his hands moving circles onto Robert's sides, feels just how small of a frame he really has. He licks Roberts lips and the kiss gets that much more heated; Bobby opening his mouth to let Eddie have full reign of the kiss, letting out little moans here and there as his hand tentatively go to the other man's mop of light green locks.
"Alright boys, minutes up!" Mindy yells happily. But they don't hear her. "Bob!...Ed!...time to stop!" They still continue.
Bobby didn't want this to ever end. Ever since his first day of working with the sour behaviored man he knew he liked him. Eddie was just so...he didn't know, Bobby just knew he wanted to be around him. And this kiss, long and fevered, solidified those feelings. Or at least his alcohol riddeled mind believed so.Eddie's touches were soft but had a purpose now that he was touching skin. And he couldn't stop himself from making those noises as the kiss continued. Edward was feeling quite conflicted. He thought he hated the smaller blonde. But this kiss, was making him want more of the little nuisance. He didn't want to stop, and he certainly wanted to continue his exploration of his skin. And those noises, If he continued they were going to need to get a room.
Mindy was trying everything she could to get the two to quit, but they just couldn't hear her. After a few more yells (and a few more pictures by Patrick) they finally broke apart for a breath.
Everyone breathing a sigh of relief.
A line of saliva connected their mouths still, eyes half lidded and lips swollen and glistening. They both simultaneously wipe their mouths clean of the excess, cheeks redening from embarrassment.
Robert didn't want to move away from him, he loved feeling the warmth coming from the others body and just wanted to curl up into his lap. But he didn't, even if he was more inhibited to do so.
None remembers the kiss but Patrick Star and his proof, the "Secret Box", of which he'll keep secret from both males