The Circle of Life
Sakura poked her slug. "Have you ever realized that our summons eat each other?" she asked her two male teammates (fine, one male teammate, one male ex-teammate) in the middle of their battle.
The two of them turned to stare at her. "What?"
"Think about it," she said as they stared. "Slugs are eaten by toads, and toads are eaten by snakes."
They continued to give her the hairy eyeball.
"Don't tell me you've never noticed it," she said, leaving her slug be for the moment. "It gets even better! Sasuke-kun, you can summon hawks too, right?"
"Yeah," he replied slowly.
"Well, you killed Orochimaru. He summoned snakes. You summon hawks. Hawks eat snakes."
He blinked at her. "Are you okay, Sakura?"
"I'm not finished though!" the pinkette said. "Foxes, given the opportunity, would probably eat baby hawks."
Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "Are you saying that according to the circle of life, I'm supposed to eat Sasuke?"
"No! You're supposed to eat his babies."
"So you want me to eat your and teme's kids."
"If we were animals, yes. It would just be the circle of life."
Somewhere in the background, their summons began to sing "It's the circle of liiiiiiiiiiiiifeeeeeeeeeee! And it moooooves us aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll!!"
"Did you hear that?" Sasuke asked after the creatures fell silent, trying to pinpoint the noise.
"What is wrong with you, Sakura-chan?" Naruto demanded. "Does that slug's slime have crack in it?"
"I resent that! My slug eats your fox corpse!"
"Maybe you should take a break…"
"Maybe you should take a break too!" she snapped.
"You want me to eat you, you want me to eat your babies, and now you want me to take a break. What do you want me to do next?!" Naruto demanded. "Dress in drag and do the hula?"
"Would you?" she asked.
Sasuke and Naruto stared at her for two beats before turning and walking away.
"What do you think go into her?"
"Too much pressure in the battle?"
A/N: Okay. Too much sugar and time on my hands. My family and I got to talking about the Naruto summons due to a fanfic I shared. Which brought up the question of whether Sakura can summon slugs (She can't. But for this fic, I say she does.). We branched off from there to talking about how the giant slug can split. Ewww! And then my mom said you need a giant salt shaker to kill the little slugs with. And then it just devolved into the circle of life discussion and how it's kinda symbolic in Naruto. And we talked about lovely Lion King. And thus this crack fic was born. I hope you laugh and get weirded out. Welcome to my weird family. Thank you, Mom, for your special sense of humor.