Authors Notes: Heh, just a little thing I wrote when I was having a not-so-happy moment. It doesn't name names, but it's Lantis thinking about Hikaru. Please tell me what you think of it, k?
You'd Think It'd Be Easy:
You'd think it would be easy to not think of someone. To just push them so far back in your mind, they don't come up. But it's hard. Oh sure, I can go on with out thinking about her, but as soon as I see a sunny day, it reminds me of her smile, the flowers remind me of her pretty face, and, oh god, the birds, I don't even try. Every bird, every sound they make, anything at all to DO with birds makes me think of her, of the time we spend in the garden.
It's been three years since she left. THREE years since I have seen her face, heard her voice, watched to smile. Three incredibly, horribly lonesome years. It scares me, to think of her sometimes. I get to thinking about what might have been, what could have happened if she didn't leave. Would she be with me? Would I be holding her right now? Oh lord how I wish I knew how it felt to hold her, to kiss her cheek, to walk hand in hand with her.
But it isn't to be. Why do I torment my self, thinking about her? Why? Because I can't help it. Because every waking minute, and even through my sleep I see her, I'm reminded. I just pray, some how, she knows I love her.
I've told her of course, but three years can do things to a memory, make promises fade, and memories distant. I pray she also still loves me, that three years hasn't made her love change, hasn't made her feel that she doesn't want to wait anymore. To make her feel that waiting for something that might not happen at all, is too much.
No, it isn't easy to shut your heart up. It's impossible.
You'd Think It'd Be Easy:
You'd think it would be easy to not think of someone. To just push them so far back in your mind, they don't come up. But it's hard. Oh sure, I can go on with out thinking about her, but as soon as I see a sunny day, it reminds me of her smile, the flowers remind me of her pretty face, and, oh god, the birds, I don't even try. Every bird, every sound they make, anything at all to DO with birds makes me think of her, of the time we spend in the garden.
It's been three years since she left. THREE years since I have seen her face, heard her voice, watched to smile. Three incredibly, horribly lonesome years. It scares me, to think of her sometimes. I get to thinking about what might have been, what could have happened if she didn't leave. Would she be with me? Would I be holding her right now? Oh lord how I wish I knew how it felt to hold her, to kiss her cheek, to walk hand in hand with her.
But it isn't to be. Why do I torment my self, thinking about her? Why? Because I can't help it. Because every waking minute, and even through my sleep I see her, I'm reminded. I just pray, some how, she knows I love her.
I've told her of course, but three years can do things to a memory, make promises fade, and memories distant. I pray she also still loves me, that three years hasn't made her love change, hasn't made her feel that she doesn't want to wait anymore. To make her feel that waiting for something that might not happen at all, is too much.
No, it isn't easy to shut your heart up. It's impossible.