Author: Kate, ME!
Disclaimer: I own no one and very few belongings! Well, I do own Justine, Derrick, and some other characters I can't think of right now… (lol, they'll come up later…)
Rating: PG-13… maybe… depending on how naughty I'm feeling ;)
Spoilers: AU, consider it… well after the first eppy… ?
Summary: Their secret is hidden in a box in his attic.
Special thanks go to: TRISH! I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE MY GIRL! Lol… oh, and my thesaurus…. I love you man, lol!
On with the show!
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Chapter One: An Ocean Breeze
Sydney dropped her keys onto the counter and noticed the annoying flashing of the red light on her answering machine. She had messages, which wasn't a good thing considering the way she was feeling about communication right now, let alone the human race. Having just returned from a day in hell, she didn't feel like hearing another human's voice.
But, her curiosity got the better of her and she just had to find out who was left in her life that would actually care enough to leave a message on her machine. Pressing the 'play' button, she went over to the fridge, grabbed an apple, and shoved it into her mouth as she sifted through her mail.
"Hey, Syd, it's Weiss. I know you just left work so you won't get this message for about … 15 minutes or so but I thought you should know that you're having dinner with me tonight. I'm making pizza. That's right—homemade—and it's just never as good unless it's shared with a pretty girl such as yourself…" Sydney smiled and laughed as she dumped the junk mail in the trash and took a bite out of her apple. "I'll be expecting you at my place at about… oh say seven o'clock with a good appetite. See you then," the answering machine beeped to tell her she had no more messages. Suddenly she felt really unloved.
Stop it! You're being ridiculous! She practically screamed at herself. You're judging how much people love you on how many messages you have. Mature. Real mature.
Taking the last few bites out of her apple, she slid her work jacket off and looked at the clock over the stove: 5:30. At least she had time for a bath before she was 'required' at the Weiss residence. During her brief allowance of relaxation, she could think of how to give him the news.
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Sydney looked in the mirror at her attire for the evening: a black fitted tee and dark jeans. A simple silver clip held half her hair up at the back of her head. Her makeup was composed of some black eyeliner to tie into her black tee and black boots, and a touch of mascara. It would look that she was dressing very casual, but she actually felt too dressed up. Her current ensemble was quite contrasting to her usual business suits for work and her pajamas for her very rare time off.
She shrugged at her self in the mirror. Who was she trying to impress? Eric? God no, he had seen her in far worse states and they both new it. To try to change his impression of her would be to try to stop the earth from rotating.
Was she trying to impress herself? Prove to herself that she was moving on? Carpe diem?
She went into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine that she found in her fridge, not really remembering what it was from. The days around when she moved into her new house were blurry to her memory; so much had been going on that her subconscious just dismissed her house and things involving it as irrelevant. She just hoped that Weiss hadn't been the one to give her that wine in the first place.
It was a short drive to Eric's, but Sydney had wished it were longer. She had a bombshell to drop on him and she needed a better explanation to cushion the fall.
Sydney arrived on his doorstep and clutched the neck of the wine bottle in her right hand. She rang the doorbell and put on a warm smile when Weiss opened the door.
"Hey Syd!" he opened the door and held out his arms for a hug as if they didn't see each other every day. She accepted the warm hug willingly. She missed friendship; blind friendship.
Weiss took the wine in his hand as he walked to the kitchen and examined the label.
"I found it in my fridge," Sydney shrugged her coat off with a smile and draped it over a chair.
With a low chuckle, he put it in the fridge. "I'm glad you put a lot of thought into this evening."
Sydney smiled. "Well, I didn't know a lot of thought would be required considering it was practically an order that I be here tonight."
"No, you got it all wrong. It was simply a request."
"Yeah, yeah. Sure," Sydney moved to the joined family room and sat on the couch. She sighed, "Anyway, the pizza smells good. I'm starving. When can we eat?"
"Geeze, you're a great guest Syd! First you come in and insult my dinner invitation, and then you demand food! Well, I guess I'll think twice before I ask you to dinner again!" He sat down on the couch next to her and she gave him a nudge in the ribs. She gave him a sweet smile and sat patiently.
"Alright, ten minutes," he said lowly.
Sydney took a deep breath. You have to tell him… you have to tell him…
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"You're doing what?!" Weiss stopped, a slice of pizza hovering in front of his face.
"Only for a few months," she said, taking a bite of her own slice. The cheese formed long finger-like strings that stretched and finally broke, springing back to the pizza.
"A few months, Syd?" he gave up now and set his slice down on his plate. "How do you become a teacher for only a few months?"
Sydney sighed, "Nancy Watterson, is going on maternity leave and I'm subbing for her."
"And that's it?" he shrugged sarcastically like it was no big deal. "Just like that? You're gonna walk away from everything? Everyone?"
She knew what he was getting at. He was going to try to convince her that she was doing this because of Vaughn, and on some level, she was; but she needed to do this for herself more than anything.
"There's no other option," she said quietly and got up from the table to go to the kitchen.
As she walked away, Weiss tried to get her to stop, "What's that supposed to mean?" When she didn't stop, he threw his napkin down on the table and followed her into the kitchen.
He found her leaning on the counter over the sink, looking out the window into his backyard.
"Syd…" he began quietly, "…why?" It was all he was able to get out; he didn't want to say anything too harsh, he didn't want her to break.
She slowly turned around and he could see tears in her eyes. "Why?" she repeated incredulously. "Eric, look at my life!" she said in a whisper. "What is there left for me? It was either start a new life, or spend every day facing what I lost." Taking a deep breath, she looked at him with pleading eyes asking him to just drop it, but being Weiss, he couldn't.
"Syd, you know Vaughn is…"
"Don't," she warned him severely. "Don't think this is about him. It isn't."
He gave her an obvious look. "Do you honestly expect me to believe that?"
Sydney paused, considering what he said. She couldn't even convince herself that Vaughn wasn't the main factor that played into her taking this job. If things were the same between them, would she have even considered taking the job?
"Alright, fine," she said, annoyed. "But not all of it is based on him. Did you stop to think that maybe it had something to do with the fact that I have wanted to leave ever since we took SD-6 down?" She was getting more and more irritated with every word she spoke. Taking a deep breath, she covered her face with her hands to calm herself down. Weiss took a step forward and put his hands on her shoulders.
"Look at me," he said quietly. She slowly dropped her hands and looked at him with a deep sadness in her eyes.
"Vaughn…" Sydney was about to cut him off again, but he stopped her, "No, Syd, you need to hear this." He dropped his hands from her and crossed them over his chest. Leaning against the counter facing her, he continued, "When Vaughn was with you… well, I'd never seen him that way. You changed him, Syd. You made him a better person, and he loved you all the more for it." He paused to gauge her reaction, but her eyes were on the floor, almost in a trance. "You were a drug to him Sydney, and he was beyond addicted."
Her eyes had long since begun to fill with tears and that last statement made them spill. Torrents of hot tears slid down her face as she listened: rapt with his tale.
"You had him flying high and nothing could have prepared him for the fall," Weiss took a deep breath as if recalling this about his best friend was physically painful. "When you died… he was a disaster. He left the country and no one heard from him for months. I didn't know how bad it was until I got a call."
Sydney's eyes darted up to his in horror. Weiss' eyes had focused on a spot behind her head. She waited for him to continue, terrified.
"He was in a hospital recovering from an attempted suicide. Somebody brought him there after he passed out at a bar somewhere in France. I got there as fast as I could. When I saw him…" she shook his head distantly. "He was the strongest man I had ever known and to see him like that… to know that he was so low that he was going to take his own life… well it scared the s*** out of me, so as soon as the doctors let me, I brought him back to LA. He stayed with me for about six months and for that whole period of time, I think he said five words to me." He let out a small, ironic laugh, and shook his head, "He was pissed at me because I wouldn't let him kill himself."
Sydney looked down and crossed her arms. Her tears were falling at a somewhat steady pace now, dropping onto her shirt.
Weiss took a deep breath, brushing past the heartbreaking memories, "A bunch of us all agreed that it would be better to spread your 'ashes' at sea, so about a month after I brought him back, we had a ceremony at the pier…"
The cool ocean breeze encircled Vaughn as he held the ashes close to his body, trying to absorb her soul from the remains. His eyes drifted past the railing of the pier and out over the ocean, watching the waves, forgetting where he was.
Jack moved forward in front of the small group and cleared his throat.
"I want to thank you all for coming today," he gazed through numb eyes at the others; Vaughn was still clutching the ashes and looking out at the ocean, Weiss had his hands jammed in his pockets and was examining his shoes, and Dixon and Marshall were staring back at Jack; emotions pouring through their eyes.
"It's a beautiful day," he began quietly, "Sydney would've enjoyed it."
No one moved; a small breeze blew past them and out over the ocean. As if following its path, Jack said, "Sydney loved the ocean. When she was little, I would take her to the beach and she just had so much fun," he looked down at the wooden boards beneath his feet. "She was my daughter and she made me prouder than any father alive. I know I might have failed as a parent, but I just hope she knows how sorry I am, and how much I love her."
Jack wasn't good at opening up emotionally, but the people around him were his friends, whether they knew it or not, and they were they only family he had left.
The air grew thick with unspoken words, and Dixon took this opportunity to speak his piece. "She was the greatest person I've ever known," he began proudly. "We worked together for a long time, and got through the toughest of moments together," he said, remembering their partnership, and the fall of SD-6. "She was a role-model for my kids with her sense of responsibility and high confidence. It saddens me greatly that she never had the chance to have children of her own," as Dixon said this, Jack looked at Vaughn who was still looking out at the waves, seemingly taking no notice of the others.
"I'll miss her every day," he finished. "I know I will."
A silence fell over them and all that could be heard was the crashing waves and an occasional seagull. The minutes ticked away slowly, but none of the men noticed; they were each trapped in their own thoughts of Sydney.
Suddenly, Vaughn spoke, "This is the exact spot." The others looked at him: some through their tears.
"This is the exact spot where I knew Sydney Bristow would change my life forever." He grasped the railing with one had, still holding the ashes with the other.
"She was hurting and she called me. Me," he laughed a soft, bitter laugh. "I was her guardian angel. Now, I think the roles are reversed."
Vaughn turned toward the others, unshed tears balancing on his lashes.
"I would take my life for five more minutes with her. Ten seconds even, and God knows I've tried," he laughed bitterly again, "but for some reason, he doesn't want us to be together."
Weiss' head seemed to drop lower to his chest as he remembered spending a week at his best friend's bedside after he had tried to drink himself to death. The memories of those sleepless nights were too vivid for comfort.
"I wanted to marry her and have a family with her," he looked at Dixon, "There isn't a doubt in my mind about that. I actually was planning on proposing the weekend after she died." His fingers traced the top of the tin that held the remains of the love of his life. A single tear fell and splashed on the smooth metal.
Weiss had known of Vaughn's intentions of proposal, and remembered the look he would get when he'd talk about it. It was a look of utter bliss, just at the thought of spending the rest of his life with Sydney. She would say yes and they'd live happily ever after. Everyone knew that that was the road they would have taken, but things didn't exactly go to plan.
"I'll love her every day of my life as long as I live," he removed the lid on the ashes and said, "Through sickness and in health, till death do us part."
Reluctantly, he turned the urn over. The ashes flowed freely out above the ocean, carried on the wind.
"You're free, Syd," he whispered. Closing the lid, he just stood there.
Five minutes passed as the men said their final goodbyes through their hearts. Jack turned to the red-eyed group and, without more than a head-nod, left them, his heart heavy with sorrow and a loneliness greater than any pain he'd ever suffered before.
Slowly, one by one, the men left when their emotions got out of control.
Weiss was the last one left with Vaughn, and with a simple pat on the shoulder, he left Vaughn to be alone with the love of his life.
Sydney stood in the harsh light of the kitchen with her mouth open and
tears streaming down her face.
"Syd, I just think you should talk to him; let him know that, before you do this, he's not your primary reason for leaving. Losing you once at someone else's hand was hard enough on him, but to lose you because of something he'll think he did would kill him all over again."
Sydney nodded and looked down at the floor, digesting all the information she'd just been given. Her chest was tight with guilt and sadness.
Stepping forward silently, Weiss took her in her arms and let her cry.
Let her cry for Vaughn, and for herself, too.
TBC…
A/N- Ok, not a great start, I don't think, but this fic has been brewing in my mind for a while and it WILL GET BETTER, I promise!!
Please, R/R guys! I seriously need it! Lol…
Thanks,
Kate