'Hey Freddie! Come check this out!' Sam called from Carlys computer, spinning her chair around as the boy came in from the door.

'What is it?' he asked, taking a seat beside the blond.

'This weird thing called Fanfiction. I thought you might want to check it out,' she waggled her eyebrows. Freddie looked scared.

'Should I be afraid?'

'Yes, you should be very afraid,' she smirked honestly.

'Oh god, are my baby pictures on there?' he asked quickly, panicking slightly.

'Even better. Remember that girl you dated, Vagerie?' she replied.

'Valerie…' Freddie corrected.

'Same thing.' Sam shrugged. Freddie started to grow more worried.

'Yes, why?' he asked, as calmly as possible. Though for Sam, it was like his words were cut up neatly and spread out all across his ever-paling face.

'Look at the "M" section,' she patted him on the back, 'I'll be back in a moment.'

Sure enough, not a minute later-

'OH MY GOD. SAM, WHAT IS THIS?' he yelped, falling off his chair, onto the floor.

'Oh, just you and chiz-face, smooching and… well… I think you know,' she winked. Freddie just gave a wide-eyed and reproachful stare, unsure of how she came across this atrocity.

'What else is there?' he asked warily.

'Oh, pretty much everything. You and Spencer, you and Gibby, you and some horny teenager, you and…' she stopped mid-sentence. Freddie gave her a knowing glance, but she quickly changed the subject. 'Oh! Hey! I dare you to look up what they have for us!'

Freddie, deciding to have some fun with this, replied, 'Yeah, okay.'

And thus, the rest of their Saturday went like this.

'Aw, that's gross!'

'Oooh! Click on that one!'

'Where do people come up with this stuff?'

'I think my uncle told me about that.'

'Woah, there's like sixty chapters in this one.'

'You know, that's not a bad idea.'

'She used 'you're' wrong.'

'You're a nub, you know that?'

'Better than… whatever I'm doing in this one…'

'You know what? I still think that's not a bad technique.'

'Do you want to try it?' the words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. Sam turned to him, open-mouthed and eyebrows arched. Was he kidding? 'I-I mean… I was just… Err… I don't- I mean-'he continued stuttering, eyes flying in all directions until she slapped him.

On his lips.

With hers.

'Come on, Fredwardo, let's do it. I've got a few things of my own I've been wanting to try out.'

And with that, they headed to the guest bedroom.

Ahh! The infamous Shay guest bedroom! Well, I don't know what made me think of this, maybe some twisted thing, the same thing THAT MADE THE PRODUCERS RE-INTRODUCE CREDDIE. WTF. 'TOO LATE TO LOVE ME?' AND SIBBY? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? D: Well, PLEASE REVIEW and I'll write more! Check out my other one-shots and iSaid Hello to You, which I'm getting around to updating c:

'Carly?' Sam came down the stares, trying to make herself look presentable, Freddie on her heels.

'Mmm, yes, Sam?' she muttered, in a trance, staring at the screen.

'…What are you looking at?' Freddie questioned, looking at the screen, only to look away disgusted and regretful. 'Aw, Carly! Seriously?'

Carly, who wasn't listening, continued scrolling down the page.

'Yes, Harry, my hair is that soft, and oh? You want to come over tomorrow? I can't wait. Mmm…'

'I think we traumatized her.' Sam deadpanned. Freddie hung his arm around her waist and kissed her.

'It was worth it.'