Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Vmprspwnthwrld this is for you.
The Forest
What happens when Bella can't decide between two loves: Jacob and Edward?
Bella was having some difficulty in deciding who to go with. Should she choose Jacob who was younger than her but was really warm and soft? Or should she choose Edward who had a whole Century of education behind him and was strong and gorgeous? Bella decided to go for a calm stroll in the forest to enjoy the peace and quiet of the wilderness, giving her the opportunity to make her decision.
She was looking about the forest when she saw a familiar wolf emerge. In an instant she realised that she was looking at Jacob. Man #1.
"Hey Jake, How ya going?" Bella asked
Jacob just trotted up to her, in wolf form, and began to nuzzle her knee.
"Jake, what's the matter?" Bella asked, sitting cross-legged on the ground.
Wolf-Jacob responded by beginning to rip her clothes and licking her in the face.
"Jake, I… What are you doing?" Bella asked, the answer beginning to form in her mind "Okay Jacob, if that's what you want it's what I want." And with that, Bella took off her clothes.
"Jacob, don't you want to transform into a human for… that?" Bella enquired
Jacob didn't respond.
"If that's how you want it… fine by me" Bella said, revealing her inner beastiac (A/N for those readers who don't know what a beastiac is, it is a person who likes to have sex with animals)
(I won't go into details here, to save your minds from the grossness)
Afterwards, Jacob had transformed back into a human and was lying on the forest floor with Bella in his arms.
"Oh Jacob, I never knew that doggy-style was so good!" Bella exclaimed
"That wasn't doggy-style baby, that was wolf-style!" Jacob replied
Later, Bella went to Edward to discuss the matter of choosing between them. During their discussion she confessed to the time spent with Jacob. Edward was silent when he found out but his mood improved when Bella offered herself to him. Needless to say, Edward and Bella had sex.
"Edward, I was wondering. You don't have any blood inside you, do you?" Bella asked, after their 'special' moment
"Nope" Edward replied
"Well, how do you get an erection?" Bella asked
"I always have one, remember, I am rock hard" Edward announced "Back in the 1970s, I was in a fight with some punk at High School. He got angry at me and kicked me in the crotch. The next day he came to school with a broken foot and when asked he admitted to breaking his foot on my penis. We had to move afterwards."
"Fascinating" breathed Bella
During the next couple of weeks, Bella discovered that she was pregnant. Unfortunately she didn't know who the father was. She told both Jacob and Edward that there was the possibility that they were the fathers. When she finally gave birth, puppies sprang out and it was immediately assumed that Jacob was the father. They named them Larry, Albert, Melissa, Frederick, Gary, June and Paul. They remained as dogs until they turned ten when Albert realised that he could transform into a human.
Meanwhile, there was a feud between Edward and Jacob over Bella. It was eventually decided that she was Jacob's on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. She was Edward's on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. It was assumed that Bella would want Sunday to herself but it turned out that she had other plans. It was determined that on Sundays Bella, Jacob and Edward would all get together for a threesome. They all lived happily ever after, except for Paul who was hit by a bus but he was still happy because he never saw it coming.
THE END