A/N: I AM NOT DEAD. I know, I suck. The wait has been far too long. I've had a lot of shit going on in my life that I really don't want to get into right now. So, here's the basic rewrite. Mainly just switching everything over to 3rd POV for now. Enjoy.
"I'm happy for you."
Those were the words she had said that had started everything. Her heartbreak, mistakes, misery… it was all just a downhill slope from there. She didn't know why she said them. In fact, she meant to tell the truth. To tell him her feelings for him. But she didn't. Something in the pit of her stomach had stopped her.
She loved him. She loved him with all of her heart, but she didn't want him to love her. He was happy though, and she wasn't going to be the one to stand in the way of that.
She felt like an idiot. A nervous and heartbroken idiot. She couldn't see straight around him, why couldn't she have said that? Or, told him she loved him? She could have even cut his rant about his fiancée short with a kiss. But, she didn't. She didn't and now she had lost the only man she had ever loved.
She couldn't believe her naivety and foolishness. She had let herself fall in love with him. But, in her defense, he had given her mixed signals. She hadn't been sure what to make of them. It was still her fault though. She should have put up more walls, or guarded her heart, or fell in love with someone else.
Things were never that easy, though.
Her name is Robin, and here is the story of how four words brought her whole world to its knees.
~!~!~
It had been a good day. It was the best one she'd had in a while. Now that the war with Plegia had ended, most of the days were light and calm. Even still, today was by far the best day in months. There was sunshine lighting up everyone's faces, songbirds were singing, Virion had been declaring his love for Sully like normal, but today was particularly more spectacular and Sully didn't even seem to mind as much as normal. Robin and Chrom had been teasing each other relentlessly whenever they got a moment's rest from their busy schedules.
It was a perfect day.
As Robin walked through the palace courtyard where they had met Marth for the first time, she stretched her arms above her head. The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze to cool off what the sun made hot. It was a beautiful day best spent outside. Although, it did look like there might be a chance of rain. That was alright. After all, even with the rain, it would still be a gorgeous day.
Robin decided she would see if Chrom cared to spar with her. She hadn't gotten in her exercise for the day, and if he had free time, he was almost always willing to. Plus, he probably needed the break anyway. He had been helping her train with the sword. She hadn't been the best at it and realized, if something were to happen where she was unable to use her magic, then she would be useless. When she had asked him, Chrom had eagerly agreed to teach her.
Walking back to the inside of the castle, she frowned. It seemed a little quiet. The castle was never truly busy, yes, but it was still very empty today. Robin swiftly braided her hair around into a ponytail and caught a small piece of the silver-teal hair. She tucked it back into place and secured it with a pin she kept in her shorts pocket. She had started keeping pins with her because in the past six months, her hair had grown a decent length and she had yet to cut it.
Her coat had been left in her room, seeing as it was too warm outside to be wearing one. In fact, most at the castle had left their robes in their chambers for more comfortable clothing. Most, like Robin, had chosen to wear shorts and tunics. Smiling, she found herself humming a sweet love song she had often heard in the city surrounding the palace. It was a good day, so why not hum a happy song?
There was practically a skip in Robin's steps when she entered the corridor. She had to stop walking to let her eyes adjust to the darker lighting. After her eyes adjusted, she looked around the corridor as she continued walking down it. This was very strange. This part of the castle was almost always busy at this time of day. Had she missed something?
Was there a meeting that she had forgotten about? A jolt of panic rushed through her. The last thing she needed was to be late for a meeting. She picked up her pace and began to run through the corridors to find Chrom. If she was late, it would look bad, not only on herself, but on Chrom. He would be frowned upon for recruiting a forgetful tactician. That would be horrifying and shameful, for both of them.
As she was running, Robin slammed into someone and fell back onto her rear. She exclaimed, "My apologies!" at the same time as the person who had knocked her down.
"Chrom?" "Robin?"
They both laughed and the prince extended his hand to her. Gratefully, she took it and pulled herself to her feet. For the brief moment their hands were touching, Robin felt butterflies twirl around in her stomach. She let her hand fall back to her side. "I was just looking for you. The corridors are awfully empty, did I forget about some important meeting?"
Chrom chuckled, which was a melodious sound to her ears, and she was the cause of it. He shook his head. "No. You didn't. Don't worry. And, I was looking for you too."
A faint red appeared on his cheeks and he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, looking away. "Do you, um, would you mind taking a walk with me? So we can talk?"
She smiled and nodded with an exhale. He was so cute when he was flustered. Although, she couldn't help wondering what all of this was about. "It's a beautiful day. Why waste it inside?"
He glanced at her and smiled. "Exactly."
Shaking her head, Robin laughed a little as they began to walk back outside. "I can't believe I actually thought I was late for a meeting."
"Well, you do have a habit of forgetting when the meetings are." he teased.
"Hey!" Robin bumped him playfully. "As a matter of fact, most the time I am working when the meeting comes around. I lose track of time. I never forget."
"Uh huh. Sure."
She rolled her eyes and stopped in the middle of the courtyard, waiting for the prince to as well. He did when he noticed she had stopped. Robin had been running it over in her head what he wanted to talk to her about. Normally, the only time that they talked privately was about war strategies and tragic news, or even just something he felt he could confide in her. The duo would discuss almost anything and everything in front of the Shepherds, though. Why would Chrom feel the need to pull her aside like this?
Unless… Robin thought, biting her lip. Does Chrom love me? She shook her head, cutting off that strand of hope. No. He loves Sumia, remember?
Her spirits fell, but she brushed it off, looking up at Chrom. "What was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Well, actually, I have exciting news." His eyes lit up just thinking about it, Robin noticed. A broad smile stretched across the prince's face.
Gosh, he's so perfect.
She quirked an eyebrow and leaned forward a little bit. Curiosity made its way onto her features. Suspense was always her favorite type of book to read, but in her life she had already had her fair share of it. Robin made a motion with her hand, telling him to get on with it and share already. Share he did.
"I'm getting married."
Robin's hand flew up to cover the gasp from her mouth. Her eyes widened with surprise and she attempted to swallow the lump building in her throat. Her heart began to pound in her chest and she had to fight to keep her breathing normal. She forced a smile onto her face and removed her hand. "W-Wow, Chrom. Congratulations!"
"Thanks. Sumia and I are really excited." Chrom was beaming and she couldn't help feeling as though someone had just split her in half. She resisted the urge to clutch at her chest and took a deep breath.
"I'm happy for you. Do you know the date yet?" Robin heard herself asking. "And do you need help planning?"
Chrom placed a hand on her shoulder. "That would be great Robin. I'm sure Sumia would love it too. And yeah. The wedding is in a month."
Fighting every urge to turn and run away, she nodded. "I have some work to do, so I should go. But, I would love to talk to both of you about planning at a later date. I'm happy for you, Chrom. Congratulations. You really deserve this."
She forced the words out before turning and walking away. She had meant the words. He did deserve it, but she was still upset. Robin needed to get out of his line of sight. She walked into the corridor and sped up into a jog, then soon a run. The tears silently streamed down her face. This was worse than any battle wound she had ever received. She couldn't just take some medicine and heal. Nothing had ever felt like this.
Her heartbeat drowned out the sounds of everything except the words replaying in her ears.
"I'm getting married!"
Tears were blurring her vision, but not enough to keep her from navigating her way through the palace. Eventually, she burst out one of the doors into another courtyard. Her favorite courtyard. She spent almost all her time in the small garden there, or under the trees while reading, or sitting on the edge of the fountain. She took her solitude in the trees today. She collapsed to her knees next to a tree.
She tucked herself into the nook of the tree and began to sob, biting her hand to keep them quiet. There had been so many times when Robin had pictured herself marrying Chrom. But, now, she knew that would never happened. Sumia and Chrom would be happy together and she wouldn't ever be anything more than a tactician (and now a wedding planner) to him. Just someone to do him favors.
Maybe I should leave. Go somewhere he wouldn't suspect. She thought and her shoulders began to shake. Like Plegia. He would never guess Plegia. I could start a new life there.
Robin shook her head. No, I would miss everyone too much.
She wished she could hate Sumia. But, she couldn't. The other girl was kind and tried her best at everything. She was sweet and wished the best for everyone. No, Robin couldn't hate her, no matter how much she wanted to. It was miserable.
Droplets of water began to land on her skin, occasionally. She rotated and leaned back against the tree, letting the cold water hit her. The rain suited how she felt. It probably wasn't the best to sit in the rain (she would probably get sick), but this way, no one would find her and ask her what had happened, or what she was doing outside.
I should have told Chrom how I felt before he started courting Sumia, but I didn't. Now I'm miserable, and I'm the only one to blame.
"Robin?" A voice rang from above her. She glanced up, rubbing her eyes. She didn't care who it was, but she let the tears clear from her eyes so she could see. It was Ricken. "What happened? You're soaked!"
The alarm in his tone grew as he finished his sentences. He knelt next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. Robin leaned into the touch and shook her head. Her voice broke and sounded lost when she weakly said, "He's getting married, Ricken."
His eyes softened. Concern was clear on his features, but he didn't push for details. Robin was relieved he knew that she meant Chrom. A few of the Shepherds ('a few' consisting of: Maribelle, Ricken, Lissa, Olivia, and a couple of others) were aware that she was in love with Chrom. She never confessed it to them, but the group that knew had each found her worried, upset, or stressed about the prince. The truth had just spilled out on accident in most cases.
With a quiet sigh, Ricken moved a hand to support between her shoulder blades. "Let's get you inside. We'll do our best to keep you from getting sick."
She nodded, and Ricken scooped her up, bridal style. Robin rested her head against his collarbone and curled into the warmth of his chest. He had gotten a lot taller, and a lot stronger over the years she had known him. It was strange to her. She used to be the one taking care of Ricken in the time past, now it was the other way around.
I'll let him take care of me this time. She thought and closed her eyes. Her hand grasped Ricken's tunic as he carried her out of the rain. The thought occurred to her to ask him what he had been doing in the rain, but she decided to do it at a later date. Softly, Ricken said to her, "After I take you to your room, I'll Maribelle up to help you change. I know you wouldn't if I left you to do it yourself."
As Robin considered it, she was a little surprised to realize that he was right. She probably wouldn't have changed. Instead, she would have fallen asleep in her wet clothing. Gently, Ricken reached the hand that had been around her shoulders to pull her hair free from the ribbon that held it there. Then, she opened her eyes to study his facial features.
He certainly had matured in the past years. A great difference from the young boy who had joined the Shepherds. No, now Ricken was a young man. His jaw line had sharpened and so had his cheekbones. They had become more defined. But, his eyes were still gentle and held that childish mischief. He was seventeen, marking the three years it had been since she had met him. Robin herself was only nineteen (at least that's what she assumed, judging by her body structure and such other things), but she felt old when she reminisced.
With a sad smile, she let her eyes flutter closed again. The movement of Ricken walking and carrying her was soothing. It helped the tension seep from her shoulders. In fact, this wasn't the first time Robin had been carried by him. She had fallen asleep many times during late night study sessions and woke up in her room.
"Ricken?" a familiar voice rang through her ears and Robin didn't bother to open her eyes. She could tell it belonged to Chrom. "What happened to Robin? Is she alright? She's soaked."
"I think she's alright." Ricken replied. "I found her asleep under an oak tree in the courtyard. I'm surprised the rain didn't wake her up though."
"All right." There was a pause. "Just make sure she's tended to and doesn't get sick." As an afterthought, he muttered, "She exhausts herself enough as it is, last thing we need is her waking up with a fever."
A gentle hand rested against Robin's damp forehead. When it was gone, she could still feel a lingering bit of warmth. The sound of retreating footsteps filled her ears and she opened her eyes, looking up at Ricken. He continued walking and carried her upstairs to her room.
After a few minutes, they arrived at her room. Somehow, Ricken managed to get the door open, slightly surprising the tactician in his arms. She noted that he actually closed the door with his foot. He crossed the room over to her bed and set her down. She turned to lay on her back and he went to light a few candles in her room. As he did, he spoke to her. "Just wait there, all right? I'll go find Maribelle, and send her up."
"Okay." was the only response he got. When he finished lighting the candles, he disappeared out the door.
Sighing to herself, Robin went over the events of earlier. She had found out the man she was in love with was getting married to a different woman. A pang went through her chest. She was foolish for letting herself fall in love with him, that she knew, but she didn't regret it. Not one bit. It made the sweet moments they'd had even sweeter.
She raised her hand above her head and into her line of sight. She stared at her fingers and pulled the glove off of her hand. The gloves were old and worn out as well as soaked. She tossed it to the other side of the bed and stared at the mark on her hand. It was strange symbol and she couldn't help wondering where she had received it. It almost looked like a set of eyes, except six of them, all connected. She'd had it for as long as she could remember. Which was only a few years, but that wasn't the point.
She was insecure about it. That's why she had started to wear gloves. It was clearly not a holy symbol. It appeared to be demonic. How could the soldiers ever had trusted her if she bore the mark of a demon? She had also hidden it because she often found herself staring at it when it was hard to focus. It was a constant reminder of things that she didn't know about.
Her hand fell back by her side as she heard the door open and close again. A gentle voice called out to her, "Robin?"
"Over here." She replied quietly. Maribelle came into her vision and helped her to her feet.
"My goodness, you're soaked to the bone!" The other girl examined her carefully. She guided Robin over to her changing screen and then began to rummage around for her night clothes. Maribelle seemed to have finally found them and held them out to Robin. "Now, let me help you get changed."
Robin had a hard time pulling off the clingy wet clothing, so she bunched up her tunic at the bottom and wiggled her way out of it. Once it hit her shoulders, Maribelle tugged it off the rest of the way. Robin made a motion with her hand, silently saying she could do the rest. She watched the other girl disappear to the other side of the screen, passing a comment about how she would be turning down Robin's bed.
Her shorts were dropped unceremoniously on the floor. Robin repeated the action with her small clothes. She reached over and grabbed the night clothes. She pulled the tunic on, buttoning it in place loosely. It was a gentleman's garment, but she found it comfortable. The pants to go with it were gentleman's as well.
As soon as she was dressed, she came out from behind the screen and sat on the edge of her bed, where Maribelle was waiting with a hairbrush. Robin let her hair get brushed and Maribelle scoff at her choice of night clothes. "I cannot believe you wear such things to bed."
"No one sees them." Robin pointed out.
"I suppose, but even so!" That got her to smile a little. Maribelle was being kinder than normal, but still was doing her best to make Robin smile.
Maribelle finished brushing the water out of her hair with a soft sigh. "I suppose this is as dry as we'll get it for now. Get some rest and I will be back to check on you soon."
She rested her hand on Robin's forehead to check for a temperature. After deducing she didn't have a fever, Maribelle went to blow out the candles Ricken had lit. She watched Maribelle blow them out before laying down in bed. The last thing she heard that night was the soft click of her door closing.