Notes: I mafe up the characters like the originals but they are new so you don't get bored with the old ones. Also it is a collab bye.
Harry Potter 8 The Violent Lick and the Cramy
The sandy beach was dusk and a small haven for a young boy. He fixed the glasses that swallowed his face and gazed into the eyes of another man. I AM HENRY SLAUGHTER said the boy THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BITCH this was strange because the boy wasn't really a boy, he was a wizard and that was forever his unchanging gender. The other man licked his lips and fluttered his eyelashes. He gazed far into the other mans voice and started to kiss his nose lightly without the man really noticing. I AM YOUR GRANDFATHER. said the man. BUT ACTUALLY I AM JON HAISLY. WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK OF MY MAN MANLY... PUNCH?
When Henry awoke the next day he was in a creamy coloured basket of silk. It was really soft, he thought, but more importantly, there were a lot of chickens surrounding the basket. They all bowed their heads in appraisal and shot down any new comers. Soon Jon came dressed in a furry white thong with a cat tail and cat ears on his head. I am your kitty meow, he said and then he licked one of the chickens with extreme violence. "Would you like to join me Henry? Would you like to join me on an adventure of sexual desire in advertisement?" Henry thought for a stern few seconds of silence. It wasn't every day that someone violently liked and then asked a question but then again, the question was mildly disturbing in all fields. He grasped his brain and went on an incredible journey filled with stones... philosopher's stones.
Soon the stones disappeared and then someone came out of a curtain. I AM GOLDYMART! I AM THE VILLAN. I HAVE CAPTURED YOUR BELOVED FRIENDS AND HURT AS WELL AS MADE A LITTLE FRENCH MUFFIN FOR YOU. Goldymart twivelled to Henry and then gave him both his friends, hurt and a little french muffin but also he gave him something more. Friendship. Henry never had any good friends, only Jon who licked things when they were not supposed to be licked. Now Henry had Goldymart. He would love Goldymart with all his heart and they would eat ice cream while they watched the goats over near the lake. Then they would bathe and laugh about girls they had crushes on and also giggle.
All was good in that quiet day dream when suddenly Goldymart was secretly and mysteriously lying also setting a trap. Once they were close physically, Goldymart sent rockets shooting out of his heart and it stabbed Henry in the arm. OH GAWDZ Henry yelped physically. Then he wained. He awoke once again in a creamy coloured girl's arms. It was Hernia Ranger his long time apprentice. When he saw her big huge eyes he was relieved. Relieved but also scared. Mainly because not only was Hernia there also his old teacher Jape. Jape was a mean man who also liked to lick things violently. He was currently in a corner licking the wall with somewhat hurried strokes. "What is that beast doing there?" asked Henry. "Why he's licking the way to check if there are any bad people putting then mannannas." Henry stared and smiled intently and the creamy girl's cramy. He replied with a single "Oh" and that made there intire shmaughearts year.
Be End.
Written by Emily and Kyou at 2:27 AM