"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.
Don't get too close, it's dark inside.
It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide."
The walls contained not even a trace of life within the gloomy and depressed atmosphere. Angst and despair showered the prefabricated setting with a feeling of death and evil. Everything within the room just wanted to release its chilling cries and terrify the soul with its unappealing will. In this confused and very strange world was a girl who was alone and afraid. It wasn't a good thing that she was in this state since the voices within her head were wanting to possess her mind and fill her spirit with the roots of evil and sin.
She wanted to be loved but ever since she was a little girl, love was something that never existed within her life. Her whole life had been filled with nothing but the tragedy that cloaked her body like the ancient purple curtains so familiar with Poe. Murders, drugs, prostitution and vice were just a few of the things that she had to face every single day. In public, she was humiliated for dying her hair and wearing fishnets. The whispers that she heard called her ugly, a whore and vivid language that even scandalized the criminals. She always tried to fit in, but she was labeled as a wannabe and an outcast, someone who was not destined for the various branches within the tree of society.
When the show came around, she saw this as her opportunity to make a difference and to take a stand. She submitted her audition tape and thus started the longest wait of her life. It felt like that both time and the world stood still, not moving or breathing or thinking. The envelope finally came one day and for the first time in her depressed and tragic life, she smiled. The show accepted her, she was going to be on the debut season and she hoped that her life would finally turn around.
From the moment that she stepped onto the island, the struggle became real. Instead of the hopeful paradise that she wanted, the reality was the opposite. Right from the start, her image showed her as a hateful person who refused all sorts of love. One guy made the mistake of always trying to pursuit her but it got to the point to where he was afraid of her and despite her apologizing and being nice, he wouldn't go near her. Most of the campers just ignored her and she felt alone and became depressed. The cameras never caught it, but she became suicidal and almost tried to kill herself, but two of the campers saved her.
After she was saved, she yelled at them since she claimed that being dead would have made her felt better but neither of the girls would accept this. They spent the night talking to her, giving her moral support and by the morning light, she was a different person. It was like as if she had been lifted from the darkness and had found the sacred and beloved light. For once in her life, the shackles and chains of bondage had been abolished and a new person was born from the Nacht des Kampfes and at the moment, it looked like that nothing could bring her down. This attitude would go on for the rest of the season and to her wildest imagination, she won by overcoming all of the challenges and objections. When she was handed that hundred thousand dollar check, she felt like as if she was on Mars.
However, her happiness was to be short-lived. Due to audience demand, the producers kept her for a second season but when they did so, they revoked her hundred thousand price for the chance at a million dollars. She was furious. All she wanted to do is go home while her head was still held high, but her pleas and cries fell to deaf ears. Against her will, she joined so that the producers and critics would stop scolding her like a child who was to be sent to bed without a drop of food for their body. The night before she was to start, she had a dream in which an omen told her that it was the beginning of her downfall and an evil greater than anything known will consume her whole.
She ignored this omen and started the new season off to a cherry note. For starters, she became a captain and selected her own team which included her best friend, boyfriend and her worse rival all within Pandora's Jar. They even won a challenge, but it turned to sour grapes when the other team forced her boyfriend to be eliminated since he kept throwing challenges for her. To make matters worse, not only was she flirting with a well-known criminal on the show but her team did a coup d'etat that eliminated her in order to save themselves. When she was on the Aftermaths, it was like walking into the lions den since all of the cast that had either been eliminated or were not on the season tore her to shreds. She tried to provide a logical defense but every time that she attempted to, no one would listen to her. She fell into a state of depression and she had to go on medical leave.
Because of her medical leave, she was gone for over a year while she slowly recovered. While she might have recovered physically, she was a wreck within her mental state. She now believed that she was ill because of her sin. A familiar quote rung through her head sometimes and she always heard a bell ring, a church bell but instead of the sound being joyful, it was gloomy. She would always attack her face and deep scratches would form but she always wore makeup so no one was able to indicate the difference and they assumed that she was fine and released her when in reality, she was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
A new season had just been announced when she was released and to her displeasure, she found herself flying, which was one of her worse fears, behind being buried alive and to make matters worse, she had to sing musical numbers and she hated musicals. Nevertheless, it was either sing or get sued and she really didn't feel like being bothered by some man in a suit so she decided to stay but that would come back to haunt her. The beginning was modest, but she hated her team which consisted of some freak of a girl who got defensive if anyone touched her man. Talk about a lot of arguing going on in First Class. In addition, she was fluting with the criminal again when he was dating the most academic person on the same team that she was in and this made things awkward. They thought that by keeping their relationship a secret, everything would be alright but when their relationship was exposed in Greece, it was the biggest scandal the show had ever seen. She was labeled a whore and other names and mud was thrown at her reputation, her chances of redemption were dead.
In a fit of rage, the punk guy left her and became a drug addict womanizer. As for her, she was sent to the playa but couldn't return home. It was at the playa were the final stage of her tragic life were to take shape.
She never left her room and often, they placed her food outside of her door. Light was never option and she always sat in the dark, allowing the guilt and despair of her actions to consume her slowly. She yelled to walls of silence, ripped out of her hair and cut herself but wouldn't allow anyone to help her. She slowly cut people out of her life and was left with no one. She tried to fight the battle but the war was winning since voices were telling her to die, that she was a nobody in life and why she even existed rung throughout the complexity of her head. Every day, these demonic voices just attacked her and she was losing her grip on life. Her eyes were red and shallow, the bags were deep purple and makeup couldn't even cover it up. She was a shell of her former self. Beauty, balance and harmony were long gone and she looked like a withered flower, who was on it's last petal of life.
One day, she decided that enough was enough. With a heavy heart, she wrote a final goodbye note, explaining her troubles and stating that despair had finally consumed her. She opened her window, which was four stories above the ground, and jumped out. The impact of the ground instantly shattered her skull. With her last breath, the demons finally left and a light overcame her. She had finally found her true happiness.
To confess, I have no idea if this is a good oneshot or what. For those who didn't know, this was over Gwen and it's rather dark. I was upset when I wrote this since a part of my family has been going through a hard time. This is more of a narrative since I felt like that dialogue wouldn't have been as powerful if I used it. However, I'm feeling better and this should be the last gloomy thing I'll write for a while.
Now that my summer break is almost here, I'm making a return to my writing and some updates will come soon so be on the lookout. Did I nailed it? Did I miss something? Tell me in the reviews.
Until next time! Please read, review, favor, alert and spread the word.