Author's note;; one-shot, smut, angst. Please enjoy and consider listening to Kate Bush's Infant Kiss as this was written to that.
I stood in the water with wet legs and a heavy heart. My eyes were strained from the tears I had shed during this journey, and they would remain like this for I had a feeling I would continue crying. If my tears could fill anything, it would probably be this lake, the very same one I was standing in. As I glanced up at the bright and light-filled tree before me, I felt his hands gently crawl upon my shoulders. The gloves he wore were rough against my soft and pale skin, but I didn't mind them much- my mind was elsewhere. I wasn't sure what I was thinking when it happened, but I do remember one thing. I remember the way my heart felt as it happened, it was as if a snake was coiled around it, tightly pressing and squeezing as I floated in the water.
It began with childish whispers against my ears, his lips gently pressing against the flesh of them. All the blood had been drained from my face and I was cold from the water. His sweet voice reminded me that there was a man in those childish eyes, a man capable of such an action. I had never really noticed before, for he had always seemed like a child to me, but he was a grown man. Yet the kisses he placed on me felt as if they were from an infant; they were soft, short, and fleeting. They were on my lips at first, but with time they floated down to my chin, and my neck. It wasn't long before we were out deep in the water, and the top of my outfit had become loose.
It was the first time I had seen his bare hands so close, had felt them. His gloves came off, followed by the garment covering my chest, and finally my long flowing skirt. I was in the water, bare as a newborn, my entire body exposed to him. I've never been nude before a man, at least not before him. I was innocent and chaste then, and the things he did to me made me blossom into a different person. My breasts, swollen up from the cold were ravaged by him first, followed by more ravaging kisses. I could feel his hands across my entire body even if they were in one place at a time.
Before long he was nude as well, entering me in a very slow and soft manner. I was nervous, afraid of what would happen. What would this mean for us? What would happen after? I still had a duty to fulfil, and my grave was only a moment away. I was to die, and I had accepted it. Because of that I was willing to do anything to make the people of Spira happy but- this person, inside of me, what would happen to them? As we floated deep into the water, his hands tight around my waist, his body against mine, I shut out all worries. I could not give him the attention he needed if I was focused on that. It was not fair, especially when we had gone this far.
I recall having my eyes closed for the most part, and the times they were open, all I could see was his loving face before me. He held a soft smile, his hair floating around him, and as he thrusted into me, I could feel my cold body warm up. Each thrust was filled with an unknown love, a love that filled my heart with emotions. I wasn't sure when or how, but I had fallen in love with this stranger and I wasn't sure how to express it. I've never fallen for a boy before, and I was scared. But in those moments, all I could focus was on how I wished this could last forever. But nothing lasts forever, and after he came, deep inside of my womb, we parted like two strangers in the night.
We floated back up to the water, my insides warm with his climax, my legs pressed tightly. I wasn't sure what to do, but I grabbed my clothing and covered myself as he did the same. There was no post-coital affection, at least not long lasting. The others would notice, would feel something was amiss. So we shared one last passionate kiss, a few touches, and a loving gaze before he headed back out. I remained in the water for a while longer, my body still strung up high from the experience. I felt no regret about what happened, I did however feel regret about what was to happen. I was to march on to the death, and he was to live on without me. I felt incredibly guilty about that, my womanhood still aching from the path he carved.