DISCLAIMER:
Though the characters portrayed within (except for Ben, Marie & Elise) are true life fictional characters, sadly, they belong to Dick Wolf not Bensler. " ( I just borrowed them for a few decades. " ) Bensler
All right…consider yourself warned – I have about cried myself dry writing this story…especially the end. Don't ask why – you have to read it to find out. My co-worker, Kim, told me about a song she heard on the radio yesterday and I thought 'Hmmm… sounds like a good fanfic title'. Ironically, at lunchtime I was organizing the files on my laptop and came across three stories I had started but completely forgot about. This is one of them and it fit the title to a tee. So, I changed the original title and started writing and here it is.
Please let me know what you think…even if it isn't good. A response just lets an author know you are there and there is a reason to keep writing. Oh, one more thing – have the Kleenex ready. " ) Bensler
Can't Take It With You
By Bensler
When he looks at her he does not see the wrinkles lining her face, the nearly white hair, nor how dim the brown of her eyes have become over the years. He does not notice she is so thin most would describe her as frail. The loose skin of her neck does not register with him and the arthritic knots in the joints of her fingers are unnoticed as she laces her fingers with his and caresses his hand. To him she is simply whom she has been to him for over fifty years. Olivia. His partner turned best friend turned wife. And he loves her with a love as pure as any that has ever existed.
The past six months have been hard. The hardest he has experienced in his ninety-two years. His beloved wife has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. As healthy as she had seemed for most of her life, unbeknownst to her, she had a congenital heart defect that over the years had damaged and weakened her heart. There is really nothing the doctors can do to make her better. At eighty-nine years old, she has lived a good, long life. If she were younger, a heart valve replacement or even a total heart transplant may be in order but as it is, she has somehow found contentment in spending what time she has left surrounded by her friends, her family and her Elliot.
Elliot and Olivia have been married forty-two years, eleven months and two weeks. He prays every day that she will still be with him when their forty-third anniversary rolls around. God has been so good to them, Elliot almost feels guilty asking Him for more. God has given them all this time together and blessed them with a son and daughter of their own, Ben and Marie. And Marie's daughter, Elise, is due to give birth any day. The baby will be their first great-grandchild together. Elliot's kids, of course, have given them grandchildren - fourteen to be exact - and from them nine great-grandchildren and five great-great grandchildren, but Elise's baby will be the first great-grandchild of the Benson-Stabler production company. Everyone had tried to talk Elise out of getting married so young. She and her boyfriend married the summer she graduated high school and he from college. Now two years later and they were about to become parents.
Yes, he and Olivia were very blessed indeed. He smiles as he thinks about her and their family and she notices because she notices everything about Elliot Stabler.
"El?"
"Hmmm…"
"What are you thinking about?"
Bringing her hand to his lips, he presses a soft kiss on it. When he looks up at her, his eyes twinkle with mischief. "If I tell you, promise not to smack me?"
She loves that his blue eyes have lost none of their brilliant color over the years and when he looks at her like this it still does something to her deep inside. "How long have you known me? You say something that makes me mad – you know I'm gonna smack you. And hard."
He knows she is teasing him. But, of course, if he really did make her mad she is not beyond smacking him. This he also knows. He chuckles softly. "Well I happen to be thinking about the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen."
Olivia raises an eyebrow and shoots him questioning look. She says nothing so he continues.
"Yeah, every time I see her the breath leaves my body, my chest aches and I wonder how anyone can be so beautiful."
"Hmmph. I knew I shouldn't have let you go to the market without me," she huffs.
Pulling his hand from hers, he pulls her into a hug. "Ah, come on, Liv. You know I'm talking about you." He knows she knows. This is just one of their little games they play.
He kisses her on the lips and she lets him but then pulls away and pats him on the thigh. "Well, then you need a visit with the eye doctor."
Elliot knows she tries to act like his words don't affect her, but he sees the glimmer of tears before she smarts off at him. She never has taken compliments well. Grinning, he pulls her to him again. "Olivia Benson Stabler you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I don't need new glasses to see that. I love you. Only you." This time he really kisses her.
They are still kissing when Marie calls out for them as she steps into the entrance of the great room. "Mom? Dad?"
Breaking the kiss they remain in each others' arms and Marie cannot help but think how she never grows tired of seeing this amazing love that bonds her parents or the unabashed affection they have for each other – they are always touching, hugging, kissing. And she loves them both so very much.
"Hey, sweetheart," Elliot returns her kiss to the cheek as she leans down to him.
"Hey, Daddy."
Marie sits beside Olivia, gently hugs her and places a kiss on her cheek as well. "How are you feeling today, Mama?"
Olivia smiles at her brown haired, brown eyed daughter. "I can't complain."
Marie glances at Elliot who gives her a barely noticeable shake of the head. Marie's heart drops. The thought of losing her Mama nearly kills her and she cannot begin to imagine the grief that will engulf her - all of them - when the inevitable happens.
She swallows the lump in her throat and holds back tears. "So what have you two been doing?"
"Discussing your father's bad eyesight," Olivia informs her with a smirk as she pops Elliot on the leg.
"Ow!" Elliot lets out an exaggerated moan as he rubs his leg.
Marie looks at Elliot in surprise. "Didn't you just get new glasses a couple of months ago?"
Elliot bumps Olivia's shoulder and smiles at her. "Oh, your mom is just stewing because I told her I was thinking about the most beautiful woman in the world and she thinks it's some floozy I met at the grocer's."
"You think I don't see how the women look at you?" Olivia pokes a finger in his chest. "They all check you out. Always have."
Marie rolled her eyes, an apparently inherited trait from her mom, and said, "Mother! You know Daddy only has eyes for you."
And that is the gospel truth, Elliot thinks. Olivia is everything to him. She is the missing piece of his life's puzzle; she holds the keys for the locks to his heart; she is his air; his stability; his soul mate. She is in him – under his skin, racing through his blood, filling his mind, and she owns him. He spends hours thinking of what it will be like without her and he knows – beyond a shadow of a doubt – he knows he will not be far behind her.
In the Early Morning Hours–
Olivia is awakened by a coughing spell. There is a heavy pressure in her chest and she cannot inhale deeply enough to satisfy her body's need for air. The coughing makes her chest hurt. She struggles for several minutes before turning toward her husband. Though she tries, she can barely make her voice loud enough to hear so she shakes him. "El! Elliot! I-I c-can't breathe. P-please, help m-me! I can't…I can't breathe," she rasps between shallow, labored breaths.
As soon as he hears her voice and the wheezing sounds, desperate attempts to get air, Elliot is wide awake. "It's okay, baby, it's okay." His voice shakes. He wants to be calm for her, but he can't. He can't. He is so afraid this it.
He looks for the inhaler she keeps on her bedside table and helps her use it. It does little if any good. She is crying now and this only makes it more difficult for her to breathe and it is extremely upsetting to him. He grabs the oxygen machine and places the mask over her face and tries to calm her. It is almost impossible to assuage her fears when he himself is gripped by the same.
Because of the sheer terror running through him, Elliot is having his own issues with breathing and his heart pounds so hard he fears he will have a heart attack and leave Olivia helpless. His hands tremble so badly he drops the phone twice before he manages to call 911.
"911. What is your emergency?"
"M-my wife. She…uh…she's having trouble breathing. Send a bus! Now! Please!" he screams into the phone.
"A bus? Sir, are you a police officer?"
"Retired NYPD Detective. Please, my wife needs help now!"
"Sir, I'm dispatching a patrol car in the area to your home. It should be there in less than four minutes with an ambulance not far behind. Now please, I need you to calm down so I can help you take care of your wife."
The dispatcher walks Elliot through several things to help Olivia, questioning him as she does. By the time the officers arrive, Olivia is breathing a little better. The ambulance was not far behind and within thirty minutes of the call for help Elliot is in the waiting room of the ER.
Hospital ER –
Elliot prays more fervently than he has ever prayed. He cannot lose her. He needs her so much. Please God, don't take her away from me. Not yet. He stands, a forlorn figure, and watches as they wheel Olivia down the hall and now his emotions catch up with him. His hands cover his face and he stands there in the ER crying, unable to move, unable to think of life without his beloved Liv.
Strong arms wrap around him, enveloping him, comforting him. "Come on, Dad. Let's sit down." Ben leads him to a corner of the ER and helps him sit, Ben's wife, Amy, hands Elliot a tissue even as she wipes her own eyes.
Ben sees that his father is in no shape to talk, so he goes to the information desk to see what he can find out. Before the nurse is finished talking to him, his siblings begin showing up. His brother, Eli, throws an arm around Ben's shoulder and listens to news about his stepmom.
Kathleen and her family, Lizzie and her oldest daughter, and Marie surround Elliot. As Ben and Eli approach the group, Rick and Maureen arrive and the Stabler clan begins their vigil waiting to hear about their loved one.
An hour and a half passes and Elliot is becoming more agitated with every passing minute. He has been pacing the floor for the last fifteen minutes and nothing any of them say can get him to stop and sit down. As Eli makes his way to find someone to tell them what was going on, Olivia's doctor, Dr. Caldwell, comes out and looks around the ER.
Walking toward the group, he says, "Elliot…"
"How is she?" Elliot demands as he and his family gather around the doctor.
"Olivia is much better. We drained a lot of fluid from her lungs and her breathing is now very close to normal. She's resting quietly."
"I want to see her," Elliot starts toward the hallway.
The doctor smiled. "She wants to see you, too, Elliot. Come on." He stopped and looked back at the others. "I'll let you all in to see her for just a few minutes but no more than three of you at a time. She needs to rest."
Elliot tells himself he is not going to cry. He is going to be strong for her. He is going to let her lean on him. But the minute he sees her lying in that bed, her face as pale as the sheets, but the rise and fall of her chest steady and even, the tears are coursing down his cheeks.
She senses his presence – they have always been able to do this – and opens her eyes. "El…why are you crying?" Olivia's voice is soft yet stronger than it had been a few hours ago.
She weakly lifts her hand toward him and he is at her bedside before it can fall back to her side. He takes her hand in his and brushes hair from her face with his other before placing a tender kiss on her forehead.
She slowly lifts her other hand to wipe the tears still running down his face. "Don't cry, Stabler. You'll make me lose it and you know how I hate it when I cry," she whispered to him.
"I'm sorry," he sniffled. "I thought…I was so afraid…baby, I can't lose you…I can't live wi…"
She places her fingers on his lips to hush him. "I'm still here. You haven't lost me. We've got a great grandbaby on the way and I'm not going anywhere."
Elliot nods and blinks like crazy to keep more tears from falling. As much as they wish things were different, they are not in denial. They both know Olivia has little time left and they have discussed it time and time again. She has told him she would live to see that great grandbaby born and that's all there is to it. And he knows she will because she still has her stubborn streak.
She pulls him to her and kisses him. "Elliot, I love you so much."
Burying his face in her neck, he whispers in her ear, "I love you, too, Liv."
One week later –
Olivia is doing better since the emergency episode last week, but Elliot notices she tires much more easily and he worries constantly about her. He's tried to do more around the house, but when she finally told him he would have plenty of time to do everything once she was gone, he backed off. He knows she needs to feel productive and realized he was taking that away from her by doing everything. So, she had made breakfast for them that morning they were just finishing it when the phone rang.
"Stabler," Elliot answered. After forty years on the force, he could not break the habit of answering the phone with his last name.
"Dad, Elise has gone into labor and Eli is coming over to pick you guys up in about an hour. Can you be ready?" Marie relayed the messages to Elliot.
"Liv, Elise is in labor," Elliot told his wife and smiled at how her face lit up at the news. "Yes, we will be ready. Give Elise and Jim our love." he told Marie and they disconnected.
"Oh, I am so thrilled about this baby. Boy or girl?" Olivia asked, her eyes shining with excitement.
"Boy," Elliot told her then changed his mind. "No, no…it's a girl."
"I think it's girl, too," she agreed.
"But as long he or she is healthy and whole, I don't really care." Elliot picked up their dishes and placed them in the dishwasher. "We better get ready. Eli will be here in a little bit."
"Yes, healthy…and whole," Olivia agreed.
Hospital Maternity Ward -
With tears in her eyes, Elise places the baby in Olivia's arms. "Gran, meet your great-granddaughter, Olivia Marie Barrett."
Olivia's gaze flits between Elise and the baby as she holds the precious pink bundle. "You…you named her after me?" A solitary tear traces a path down Olivia's cheek. "I'm so honored, honey."
Elise tells her, "I wanted her to have the names of the strongest women I know. I want her to know she has a legacy of perseverance and integrity and compassion and love to live up to from her Gran and her Grandma."
Through her watery eyes Olivia repeated the child's name. "Olivia Marie Barrett, I'm your Gran and I love you already, sweetie." She kisses the miniature fingers and stares in awe of the tiny creature. Looking up at Elliot as he presses his lips to the newest addition to their family, Olivia whispers, "Oh, El, isn't she just beautiful?"
"How could she be anything but? All the Stabler women are beautiful." He hugs Olivia as he kisses the top of her head and caresses the baby's hands. "Look, her fingers are just like yours, Liv. Long and slender. Even the nails are shaped the same."
Olivia is in awe because the tiny fingers are an almost exact replica of her own. It amazes her to see generational traits passed on. To think that at one point in her life she thought she would never marry, never have children of her own and now her she is overwhelmed with love and joy her new great-granddaughter has invoked.
"Elise, you have been given a precious gift. Love her, listen to her, cherish every moment with her because all too soon time slips away…from all of us. I am so proud of you and Olivia Marie."
Elise brushes tears from her face as Olivia hands the baby to Elliot then leans down to hug Elise. "I will Gran, I will."
Olivia turns to watch Elliot. He is so gentle, so tender with the baby, cooing and talking softly, placing kisses on her head and each finger. Olivia feels the burning behind her eyelids. She had thought she could not love him more than she already does, but seeing him now her heart swells and she knows she does love this man more than ever before.
Later that evening –
They were seated at the breakfast table amidst cartons of Chinese food. Olivia had asked him to get take-out and he was more than willing to get her whatever she wanted because she had eaten very little the past few days. Even though he had brought her favorite chicken and broccoli and vegetable rice noodles, she had mostly just rearranged it on her plate.
"You go first," Olivia told him. She handed him a fortune cookie and took one for herself.
"No, I want to hear yours first," Elliot countered.
"El…" She gives him that look – the one with the raised eyebrows – and bats her eyes and he gives in. He always gives in when she does this to him.
"Okay, okay." He breaks his fortune cookie in two and unfurls the small scroll.
As he reads the saying to himself, his face turns to a frown. He did not want to read it aloud because it hits too close to home given what they are facing. Briefly, he thinks about making one up but he knows that will not work because Olivia always takes the paper from him and re-reads the fortune aloud and gives her personal commentary on it.
Puzzled by his hesitation, she asks, "El…what is it?"
Blue eyes look up at her. Taking a deep breath, he reads it. "Time may fly by, but memories will last forever."
Olivia's gaze meets his and she is silent for so long he wishes he could take it back and make up one and then refuse to let her read it. Time has flown by. Every day with Olivia has been the experience of a lifetime. The love, the fights, the kissing and making up, the trust, the disagreements, the bond between them, the laughter, the hollering, the caring.
For better or for worse. The first year of their partnership he told her 'I'm your partner for better or for worse.' Relationships between partners are a marriage of sorts, only he was lucky enough to be able to have a real marriage with his partner. The 'better' has been awesome, but now he knows the 'worse' is upon them. And he knows this is what Olivia is thinking.
"For better or for worse," she whispers. "Remember when you told me that the first time?"
He nods as his throat constricts with emotion. How could he ever forget?
"We've had the better for so long, El. Longer than most. I guess we tried not to think about the worse part, huh?" She reaches across the table and puts her hand over his
He is trying so hard not to let his emotions overcome him. "I don't want to think about it now either. What's your fortune say?"
Lips slightly turning up, Olivia nods. He is still her Elliot; still not one to easily talk about his feelings. He has gotten better about over the years, but he still has to be pushed to spill his guts. She breaks her cookie and pulls the piece of paper sticking out of one half of it. When she read it, she could not help but think Someone was trying to tell them something; to prepare them. She looks up at Elliot and then back to the small paper in her hands.
Quietly she reads her fortune. "You brought nothing into this world, and whatever you have collected, you can't take it with you. Cherish the things that matter most."
They are silent.
For a very long time.
Then she speaks. She says his name.
"El…"
"No. We're not talking about this," he says before she can say anything else. He stands up and starts putting the food away.
"Elliot, we need to talk." She grabs his hand as he returns to the table.
She is adamant but he sees the tears gathering in her eyes. And he knows she is right.
Sighing heavily, he drops into the chair beside her. "I know."
And they do. For the next three hours they talk about everything - the first time they met; cases that affected them so much; the victims they helped and the ones they couldn't. They share memories of their former co-workers, how Fin tried to act so tough, but really was a teddy bear; laughing about Munch's conspiracy theories; and how Cragen always tried to keep a tight rein on his crew but most of the time just ended up covering for them to 1PP. They talk about Elliot's kids and Kathy and the divorce; how jealous Elliot was of Moss and Porter and all her boyfriends; and how she ran when things got too complicated and was jealous of Dani, his new partner; they remember their first kiss and that Elliot was the first to say 'I love you' but Olivia was the one to push and demand more from their relationship.
They watch some home videos and go through photo albums; they laugh and cry; they relive their wedding and recall the births of Ben and Marie and things from their childhoods. They talk about Serena and Bernie, Olivia and Elliot's mothers. They remembered all the close calls they had and how Victor Gitano was the catalyst for each of them to realize that they loved their partner as more than a partner. They agree that what they have with each other is rare and they are among the most blessed to experience this connection; this bond; to have found their true soul mate with which to share life. And then…
Then they talk about losing each other.
"I always prayed I'd go first because…I know I can't…I can't…" He tears up and his voice cracks. "I can't live without you. Liv, I j-just can't."
Olivia pulls him to her breast and he wraps his arms around her and she holds him tight as he breaks down and sobs. The wetness of his tears soak through her blouse and her own tickle her neck as they stream from her eyes. His whole body shakes in her arms and she feels her heart breaking. Oh, that she could have fifty more years with this man whom she loves more than life itself.
"Olivia…what am I supposed to do without you? Please, baby, tell me." With these words his sobbing begins again.
"Oh, sweetheart, if I knew I would tell you. I know I could never live without you and I don't know what to tell you now except that I love you." She pulls him away from her and takes his face in her hands. "You have made me the happiest woman in the world. Thank you for being the best husband a woman could ever want and a wonderful father. Elliot Stabler, I love you now and forever. And don't you ever forget it. You hear me?"
She places kisses on his forehead and eyes and nose and cheeks and when she reaches his lips, he returns the kiss, deepens it and pulls her to him.
This is odd, she thinks. Surreal. She understands God is giving her a chance to comfort Elliot in his grief over losing her. She realizes that in some strange way she is able to be here for him as he tries to work through and accept her death. And for this, she is so grateful.
"I won't forget, Liv, I promise." He pulls back and his blue eyes gaze into her brown ones. She is so beautiful, he thinks to himself. "I don't know what I did for you to love me. I don't deserve you, but you are the love of my life. I will always love you. Always, babe, always."
They fall asleep wrapped in each others' arms just like they have for forty-two years, eleven months and three weeks.
Three days later –
Elliot sits in a chair and stares at Olivia. He has not left her side since two days ago. He refuses to leave her alone except to use the restroom. He has not eaten a thing since their Chinese dinner two nights previous. He is her husband, he shouted, and he is not leaving her. Not now. He made a scene and he did not care. Olivia would be upset with him, but even that no longer mattered. It was against policy but they finally allow him to spend the night with his beloved wife. Two nights he has stayed here. Two nights with Olivia lying here with him.
People come in and out of the room, mill about him, speak to him in hushed tones, and offer him food and drink. Yet, there is no response from him - he is oblivious to everything except Olivia. Slowly he stands and leans over her. Gently, he pushes a stray strand of hair from her forehead remembering how her bangs would always fall and hide her right eye. He traces the scar on her forehead then places a kiss on it. He feels for the one on her neck – from the knife would that could have taken her from him years ago. He puts a kiss on his finger and touches it to the thin, white scar. Memorizing everything about her, his fingers trail across her cheeks, her downturned nose and full lips. To him she is still the young, gorgeous brunette he fell in love with all those years ago. Age has not changed her one bit in his love blinded eyes. He covers her hands in his and lets his fingers softly caress them. He feels the tears falling again and sees two drop on her medium blue blouse. He traces the darker spots with his scarred, gnarled index finger.
"Dad?" Ben's deep voice, so like his own, quietly sounds in his right ear. He feels his son's hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it.
It is time.
He knows it is.
It is time – but he's not ready.
Not ready to let her go.
He will never be ready.
He kisses her lips lingering on them just a moment.
"I love you, baby. So much."
The funeral was a blur to him. There were so many people – from the department, from their past and present. Friends of the kids and grandkids. Some of the families of victims they helped and even several victims themselves. But only two stuck in his mind right now – Maria Recinos, the little girl that was buried alive but Olivia found her, and Rebecca Clifford whose family had been killed by Victor Gitano, the man responsible for forcing Olivia and Elliot to face the forbidden feelings they had for each other.
He vaguely remembers people extending their condolences, saying nice things about Olivia, or recounting a memory of her. But most the time it is simply a big blur. Something he was forced to participate in, but did so from afar. And sometimes he thinks it was a nightmare he will awaken from and everything will be as it should. But then he looks around their home and he can't see her. He walks from room to room, but she is not there, so he searches each room again hoping to find her. He listens but her husky voice and heartfelt laughter have been stilled. These things crush him. But the worst…the worst is no matter how hard he tries he cannot sense her presence, he cannot feel her near him. And he cries.
Sometime during the morning hours, she left him.
But unlike when she had left him before, this time she told him goodbye. Their last day together was spent welcoming their first great-grandchild into the family along with all the joy and promise a new baby brings. That night, their last together, eating Chinese and talking and laughing and crying – they had both intuitively known this was their goodbye.
They might have hours, days, weeks left together. No one knew how long. But this night was goodbye.
Elliot awoke before the alarm sounded, vaguely aware that something was different. It took only a few seconds to realize that Olivia's hand on his chest was cold. Ice cold.
She was gone.
And he really cannot live without her.
Silence entombs him and emptiness stretches before him. He has still not eaten and it has now been five days since she left him. His children hover and beg him to eat, to talk. They are worried about him but he cannot help them right now. He cannot even help himself. Not even though he promised Olivia.
Two Days Later –
The wind whips around him but the chill he feels has nothing to do with the cold. It stems from his broken heart. It has been a week since she left him and he is weakened and dehydrated because though he has had some juices and coffee, he has still refused food. He is unsteady on his feet and his hands shake. Carefully, he kneels before the headstone. "Happy Anniversary, Liv. It's been forty-three years…the best years of my life," he says, his voice thick and low with emotion as he lays the dozen red roses he clutches at the bottom of the marker. Then he reaches out to touch the engraved letters.
Olivia Benson Stabler
January 23, 1964 – March 27, 2053
~ One of New York's Finest ~
~ Beloved Wife – Mother – Gran ~
Tears spring to his eyes and he does nothing to stop them or wipe them away. It does no good because there is an endless supply to take their place.
"Liv…I miss you. So much. I keep waiting for you to come home. I listen for your voice but I never hear it…" His shoulders shake with grief and he hears a wail and realizes it is his own voice that has twisted into this heartrending sound.
His voice is raspy and his throat hurts from the giant lump that has taken up permanent residence there. "I sleep with your pajamas wadded up beside me because your scent is still on them. I reach for you at night, but the bed…it's empty. Just like my heart. I'm pathetic, I know. You'd kick my butt, if you were here. But you're not. Liv, I'm sorry…I know I told you I would be strong. That I would live for our kids and grandkids." He rubs his hands over his face. "But I…I c-can't do this without you, babe. I can't. After fifty-four years of you being by my side, I can't do it without you."
"Remember that last night together? You know, Chinese…the fortune cookies? Mine said 'Time may fly by, but memories will last forever.' The memories aren't enough, Liv. I've tried – I think about you, about us all the time. They aren't enough to keep me going. They just aren't."
He sits back on his legs and fingers the loose dirt and the blades of the newly laid clumps of grass. He wonders what it is like to die, if it hurts or if it is just a release of all burdens and cares. He wonders if Olivia will be angry with him that he does not want to do this without her. Live. Yeah, she would be furious, he knows.
He wipes his nose on the sleeve of his jacket and brushes tears away. "And your fortune…what it said 'You brought nothing into this world, and whatever you have collected, you can't it take it with you. Cherish the things that matter most.' Liv, I think we did a good job of cherishing the things that mattered most. But, you gotta know that above all things, above anyone – even the kids – your love is the thing I cherished the most and you are the person I cherished the most. And I don't know how to live without you, Olivia."
He takes several deep breathes then chews on his bottom lip. He picks up a rose and runs his fingers over the soft, velvet of the petal and it reminds him of the softness of Olivia's cheek. He grips the thorny stem in his hand.
"Your fortune said 'whatever you have collected, you can't take it with you'…but it was wrong, Liv, it was so, so wrong. What you collected…you did take with you when you left me. When you…when y-you d-died. Years ago…while we were still just partners... you stole my heart. And you never gave it back. Thank God, you never gave it back. And I didn't want it back, but you took it with you, Olivia. They were wrong…those people who write those fortunes…they were wrong. My heart is with you…and no one can live without a heart. It's yours…you've held it in your hands a lot longer than you ever realized…and I'm telling you, babe, I can't live without a heart, and you are my heart."
Slowly he stretches out across her grave, his hand with the rose rested at her head; his free hand came up under his cheek. He imagines she is beside him, holding his hand, the warmth of her body seeping into his and the chill he has felt for a week fades away. He imagines he hears her calling his name, 'Elliot, Elliot, El…' and he goes to her. She hugs him and he feels the life flow back through him and he whispers in her ear, 'Whoever said you 'can't take it with you' was wrong, Liv.' Her brilliant smile calms him. She kisses him lightly on the lips then takes him by the hand and together they walk away. 'I know, El. I knew it all along.'
Just before dusk they found him. Still clutching the red rose in his right hand, they found a small strip of paper in his left. 'You brought nothing into this world, and whatever you have collected, you can't it take it with you. Cherish the things that matter most.' When someone read it aloud, someone else said, 'They were wrong. They didn't know Mom and Dad. They did take it with them.
eoeoeoeoeo
The song is Bruce Springsteen's 'Terry's Song' about the death of his manager.
This is part of the chorus below:
They say you can't take it with you, but I think that they're wrong
'Cause all I know is I woke up this morning, and something big was gone