Dear diary,

I don't know where to start. I don't know what I'm feeling. There's so much going inside my head and heart right now... I don't know how to express it. Confusion, sadness, love, hate, relief, betrayal.. anger. It's all flowing through me now and I don't know how to slow it down ,or how to get rid of it. All I want to do is shut my brain off. I don't want to feel anymore. I wish I had it easy like he does and just turn everything off. But I can't... I made my choice, and it is mine to make... but does my choice make this my fault then? Because I choose this life; the life I was born to, the life I'm supposed to live? No, I can't blame myself for what he did. This is all on him. I didn't make him act the way he did and say the awful things he said to me. I didn't do this. Stephan did. He made his decision and there's nothing I can do but accept it. I won't fight for him anymore. I won't sacrifice anymore of myself for someone who no longer wants me. Stephan left and I'm not going to spend another day waiting for him. He made his choice, and I'm making mine.
As of this moment, I am done with Stephan Salvatore.

Two Months Later

Damon

Every night for the past week I've watched her leave the grill, with that annoying twit Caroline Forbes, and I couldn't bring myself to face her again. Compelling Caroline was out of the question with Elena there, so I had to let her go. She probably fed her vervain anyway. There were times when I saw her on her own and wanted to approach, but I couldn't. I figured if she saw me she'd run like the wind, not that she could get very far if I didn't want her too, but still. I was trying to get close to Elena, not scare her away.

Elena had this power over me that was nothing compared to anyone else, and no matter what I did, I couldn't escape it. At first I thought it was just because she looked so much like Katherine. I wanted to use her as a temporary substitute until I got the real thing back, but we all know how that turned out. The bitch wasn't even in the tomb. I thought after that happened, having to look at Elena would make me wanna snap her neck, but by that time I knew her. I saw how different she was from Katherine; kind, considerate, passionate, fiery, and much, much sexier. The way her long straight hair blew in the wind and dark blue jeans hugged her small hips so tight... she was nothing like Katherine. My love for Katherine faded quickly after that, as did my hate for her. Granted if I ever did run into that selfish bitch again in my eternity of living on this planet, I'd run a steak through her heart the minute the opportunity arose, but for now, Katherine wasn't my priority.

Now that Stephan was out of the picture, I had my chance to win Elena over, but she needed time get over him first. I never understood everyone's obsession with my brother. We all knew I was the better looking one (the eternal stud so to speak, and yes, I know I'm an arrogant prick, so kill me. Oh, wait...)

So what, Stephan was the 'good' brother. Psshh. Please. He had everyone fooled by the goody goody 'I only eat animals to survive' act. It was such utter bullshit, it was hard to keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry if I like animals better than people. Humans cause destruction and create war, what's an animal ever done besides live and let live? I prefer hunting humans to animals any day, and not just because they taste better. But Stephan kept getting in my way, telling everyone how evil I am and how I drink human blood and kill people like a vampire's supposed to... God, I'm so glad to be rid of him!

And I hope by now, she is too.

Elena

I swear to God Damon is following me again! Why won't that stupid sulking vampire just go away? Working at the grill with Caroline and Matt has been a good distraction from a lot of things this summer. I needed something to do besides sit around the house watching Jenna macking it with my history teacher and listening to Jeremy in his bedroom with Anna. I was hoping to get away from vampires for a little while, but the universe hates me because they're surrounding me everywhere I go. I see Damon out of the corner of my eye every once in awhile. Sometimes he stays long enough for me to get a real look, and other times he disappears in a flash. I didn't understand why he'd been following me since Stephan left. If he wanted to talk to me, then just come up and talk to me already! Get it over with and leave me alone! This whole creepy vampire stalking thing needs to end! Tomorrow after work, I'm driving up to the boarding house and getting this done and over with for good.

It's been months since I've been here. I remember the last time like it was yesterday, even though I desperately wanted to forget. The night Stephan and I fought was one of the most horrible nights of my life. I stood outside by the fountain as I watched him morph back and forth from the human boy I fell in love with, into the vampire he truly was. He ran at me at the speed of light, slamming my body against the brick wall of the house, threatening the most horrible things... and then he ran back. The cycle continued until he couldn't latch on to his humanity anymore. He'd been suppressing his vampire instinct for so long, it eventually got the best of him. I wanted to hate him for it, but I couldn't. I wish I could just forget.

I pushed the memory aside for now and stepped out of the car. The moon was bright and full in the clear sky above me as I made my way to the large front door. A part of me knew he'd be home, but another part hoped he wasn't. I'd hoped he would leave when Stephan did, but as I said before, the universe hates me and felt he need to fill my life with blood sucking leeches. They really do drain all the life out of you...

I knew I had to face him, I just had no idea what I was going to say.

Hello Damon, long time no see... Oh wait, you're stalking me. Care to explain?

No, that wouldn't work.

I stood outside the wooden double doors and paused. My fist was ready to knock but I hesitated. I shook my head and turned around.

God, this is so stupid, I thought to myself, but before I could take a step forward, the door behind me flew open.

"Well...isn't this a pleasant surprise?" an all too familiar voice said. I turned around and saw Damon standing in the doorway with his left arm resting on the frame above his head and a wry smile plastered across his face. "Long time no see, Elena."

I grimaced, "I'm pretty sure I just saw you last night when I left the grill. Again."

He furrowed his eyebrows and folded his arms across his chest, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me, Damon. I know you've been following me."

"Oh, really? And how do you know this?"

"Because I've seen you."

"Have you now?"

"Yes!" I shouted. I should have expected him to play games with me, but I wasn't in the mood for it.

He pulled back with his hands lifted in the air, "No need to yell. Would you like to come in?" he asked as he moved aside and gestured me in.

I folded my arms across my chest and stalked inside into the living room. Being here brought back memories I didn't care to remember, but I needed to talk to Damon. I needed him to leave me alone and maybe, just maybe, leave Mystic Falls.

Here's to hoping...

"So, what brings you here?" he asked as he walked past me.

"We need to talk."

"Do we now?"

"Yes, Damon."

"And why is that?"

"Because you've been following me. Everywhere I go, I see you, even if it's only for a second- "

"Hey now, just because you miss me and think you see me around town -"

"I don't think, Damon, I know! I'm not hallucinating!"

"No? Want too?"

"Will you shut up and listen to me please?" He closed his mouth and poured himself a drink at from the cart bar. "I need to know why you're following me!"

"I'm not following you."

"You're watching me, Damon! I know you are!" He paused and took a sip of his drink. His eyes scrutinized me up and down, but he remained silent. My patience was low. "I'm not in the mood to play games tonight. Will you please just tell me what you want?"

He swirled the brown liquor in his glass and the ice cubes clanked together. He still didn't say anything. I sighed in defeat. "Fine. You don't wanna tell me... fine." I turned around to leave, "Just stay away-" But before I could finish my thought, he was standing in front of me, just inches from my face. His look was serious as he stared down into my eyes.

"I've been... keeping an eye on you. Making sure you're okay. A request Stephan made before he... you know." I looked away from him, trying to hide the emotions I knew were plastered all over my face. He set his drink down on the table next to us and put his hands on my shoulders. "Look, Elena, I understand. Stephan... broke your heart. He crushed your soul, he made you hate all men everywhere forever, I get it. But you and I ... were friends. Now, I've never actually had a friend before so I'm not too familiar with the details, but I'm pretty sure being a friend entails being there for the person in times of need ... but I didn't think you'd want to see me after he left, so I kept my distance..."

"Not much..."

"Have I approached you at all since he left?"

I didn't answer.

"Have I called? Texted? Smoke signaled?"

I gritted my teeth, "No."

"Which means, I've kept my distance. Watching you from afar to make sure you didn't go all Bella in New Moon on me hardly signifies 'following'." He put his hands down and picked up his glass. "Besides, I do have better things to do with my time than follow you everywhere you go," he finished as he turned around and sat down on the sofa in front of the crackling fire place.

"Except you have been."

"Not everywhere."

I sighed in defeat. I once again didn't know what to say. With everything that happened with Stephan and I before he left, Damon was there for me. As much as he wanted to side with his brother, he knew Stephan was wrong. Stephan tried to make Damon feel guilty for choosing me, but everyone knows Damon doesn't feel guilt. Especially when he knows he's right.

I hated admitting it, more than anything, I hated admitting this... but over the past few weeks, I found myself missing Damon. Missing the friendship we once had. There had been times that I saw him and I wanted to talk to him but before I had to chance to say anything, he was gone. It ripped me apart watching him disappear when all I wanted was the comfort of an old friend.

I took a step closer to him and exhaled, "Look Damon... I appreciate you looking out for me. I understand you're worried, but I don't need you sneaking around, lurking in the dark just to make sure of that. If you wanna know how I'm doing, then just ask me."

He lifted his head so his blue eyes met mine. He remained silent for a moment longer before his lips parted, "Okay."

I nodded with my arms folded across my chest and started to turn around.

"Elena?" he called. I turned back around to him with a questioning glance. He looked deeply into my eyes, with concern and sincerity, "How are you?"

At that moment, when I felt his eyes pierce into mine, creating a shock wave that generated through my body, I realized that I wasn't okay. But it wasn't because I missed Stephan. Or because he left me here in Mystic Falls with nothing but a long list of bad memories and regrets. It was because I missed the friendship I once had with the lonely, brooding Salvatore brother who'd made my life a living hell for so long...

A single tear escaped my eye before I had the chance to wipe it away, Damon stood before me with his arms wrapped securely around my waist. I allowed myself to fall into him with out hesitation... because I'd missed him.

He hushed in my ear reassuringly, holding me close to his cold dead heart.

It made me wonder how it was possible to love someone when their heart didn't even beat.