"Ah...another day, another mission!" Naruto led Team Kakashi down the path away from Konoha with his trademark goofy grin. Sai walked alongside Naruto, giving him an uncertain smile. Kakashi followed behind, seemingly absorbed in his book, but the lower shinobi knew him well enough to know that he was still on alert. Sakura brought up the rear, slouching halfway to the ground and rubbing her eyes.
"Why did I choose today to sleep in?" she thought exasperatingly to herself. "I was even later than Kakashi-sensei!"
"Hurry up, Sakura!" Naruto shouted back to her, and she realized she was lagging behind by at least thirty yards.
"Give me a break, I'm still waking up!" Sakura suppressed a yawn. "Why don't you slow down?"
She immediately regretted her statement as Naruto turned around and walked back towards her, letting Sai and Kakashi continue forward past him. "Great...now I have to walk with Naruto..." Sakura mumbled. Naruto reached her and gave her a big smile, taking a spot next to her as they walked.
"Hey Sakura-chan, you shouldn't be so far away from us, it leaves you open to an attack!" Naruto shouted at her. She glared at him, but straightened her back, wide awake due to his shouts.
"Be quiet, Naruto, you're right next to me!" Sakura shouted back. "And we're less than 200 yards from the leaf village, baka!"
"Aren't you being a little hypocritical, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked, ignoring the insult.
Sakura looked at him. He looked away cluelessly, reaching behind himself to scratch his butt. "Naruto, since when does an idiot like you know the word, "hypocritical?"
"Since you said you wanted a smart man!" Naruto exclaimed, withdrawing his hand to rub his eye. Sakura watched him with disgust, but couldn't help but be a little flattered.
"When did I say that?" Sakura asked.
"Yesterday, at around noon," Naruto told her. Sakura raised her eyebrows.
"That's kinda creepy, Naruto..." she said bluntly. Naruto shrugged.
"Okay, if you don't want me to pay attention, I'll stop," he said innocently.
"Thanks..." Sakura replied. They were both silent for a moment. "You know..." Sakura started. "you don't have to ignore me or anything, just be a little less...stalkerish..." Sakura told him, and if it hadn't been so awkward she would have laughed at the image of herself catching Naruto stalking her.
Naruto perked up at her statement. "No problem, Sakura-chan! I knew you liked the attention, nobody can resist me!"
A bead of sweat dropped down the back of Sakura's head and as she turned to look at Naruto he could have sworn he saw her eye twitch. Sensing the danger, Naruto said, "Coming Sai!" and sped off quickly.
Sai turned around as Naruto approached, throwing an arm out quickly to stop Naruto from accidentally flying by him. Unfortunately, his arm was too high up, and he ended up clotheslining Naruto, knocking him to the ground in a heap. Sai helped him up as Naruto rubbed the back of his head angrily.
"I didn't call you," Sai said. Naruto's expression changed and he scratched his head guiltily.
"Hehe...I had to get away from Sakura before she killed me..." he explained.
Kakashi looked up from his book. "What did you do this time, Naruto?" he asked, looking back and seeing that Sakura's feet were making two-foot dents in the ground as she walked, and her fists were clenched by her sides.
"I may have said something about being irresistible..." Naruto muttered. Kakashi sighed, shaking his head and going back to his reading. Sai opened his backpack and pulled out a library book, flipping to a page.
"When in a fight with a friend..." he read aloud, "it is best to talk the problem out, to make amends before the problem escalates into something larger..." he closed the book. "Makes sense..." Sai turned around and cupped his hands around his mouth. Naruto's eyes widened and he hurried to stop Sai. Kakashi watched on with slight interest. "Hey Sakura-san!" Sai called, sidestepping Naruto's desperate shuriken. Sakura looked up at him.
"What!" Sakura growled in anger. Sai looked back at Naruto, who stared back at him in fright.
"Wow, you really pissed her off, didn't you?" Sai asked. Naruto went red and Sai turned back to look at Sakura, who was just within shouting distance. "Come here..." he started to say. "Nicknames...nicknames...hmm...ugly didn't seem to work..." Sai thought. Suddenly it came to him. "Come here...hideous!" he yelled to Sakura. Kakashi looked at Sai with pity. Naruto turned and ran. Sai stood there in confusion. "Is something wrong Sakura-san?" Sai asked. "Your body is shaking very rapidly!"
Sakura's face went blood-red as she looked up at him. "SAI!!" she screamed, sprinting towards him, one fist already held out just for him. Sai's eyes widened and he barely had time to duck before Sakura's fist hit air right where his face had been. She turned and threw another punch, and this time it his Sai right in the stomach. He doubled-over, coughing violently, but no blood came out. Kakashi watched the entire altercation while shaking his head sadly.
"That's enough you two," he finally said. Sakura clapped her hands together, all smiles, as Sai fell to the ground, still coughing. "Certainly, Kakashi-sensei," she said politely as Sai finally recovered and stood up with a deep frown.
Naruto jumped down from a nearby tree and landed next to Kakashi, eyeing Sakura nervously. He finally mustered up his best "innocent little kid voice" and said, "I don't think you're hideous, Sakura." She looked up at him blankly for a moment. He smiled in what he hoped was a sweet way, looking down slightly to avoid her eyes. Sakura stared at him emotionlessly, then followed his gaze. Her face contorted angrily and she held up her fist.
"NARUTO, YOU PERVERT!"
Naruto squealed in fright, running down the path with Sakura right behind him. Finally Sakura caught him. "Sakura-chan, I didn't mean to look at, uh...those...I just looked down and BAM, there they were!" Naruto backed away from her and she advanced on him menacingly, her fist raised. Naruto backed off the path and right into a tree. Sakura reached him and stood about a foot away, her eyes daring him to make a run for it. Naruto looked to either side of him and decided he was trapped. "Uh...you sure you don't want to talk this out?" he asked with a weak laugh. He closed his eyes to blink, and for some reason everything stayed black.
Naruto woke up a while later to see Sakura and Kakashi kneeling beside him. "Where's...Sai?" he managed to get out. His head was throbbing painfully. Kakashi pointed to Naruto's left, and he turned to see Sai lying next to him with a huge bruise on his face. "What happened to him?" Naruto asked, sitting up. "OW!" he gasped, grabbing his head. Sakura's hands went green and moved to his head as Kakashi went to go get him an ice pack. "What happened to me?!" Naruto asked. He heard a cough from beside him and saw Sai open his eyes and sit up slowly, looking around them. Sakura moved her other hand to his head as he grabbed it in pain.
"You don't remember?" Sai asked. Naruto shook his head. "Basically, Sakura beat the shit out of us."
Naruto blinked. He looked at Sakura, who, despite healing their wounds, seemed a little pleased with herself. "...oh." Naruto said simply, his memory coming back. He looked at Sakura and blushed. She let out a low growl and he looked away quickly. "But Sai...she didn't hit you in the face," Naruto said to Sai. Sai grinned slightly.
"After she knocked you out, I said she was PMS-ing," Sai told him. Naruto started to laugh, but stopped at the look on Sakura's face. Kakashi returned with two ice packs and Sakura removed her hands.
"I have to say Sakura..." Kakashi started. Sakura looked up at him, the grin returning to her face. "...this has to have been the dumbest thing you've ever done." Sakura's smile disappeared.
"W-what?" she asked.
"We started this mission with four ninjas at 100 percent. Now we have two injured ninjas, and you've used up a lot of your chakra in the punches you threw and your healing. I'm the only one who is still at full fighting capacity, and we were expected to do a lot of fighting today. We'll have to cancel the mission now."
Sakura looked down, fighting back tears of embarrassment. "WHAT! NO WAY!" Naruto shouted, jumping up quickly. "We can still...whoa...why is everything spinning?" Naruto asked, plopping back down to the ground. Sai studied Sakura's face, remembering his book. He placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.
"It's okay, Sakura, I apolagize for the things I said," Sai told her. Sakura forced a smile.
"Thanks Sai..."
"Me too!" Naruto said drunkenly as his whole body swayed slightly, before he collapsed on the ground. Sai grinned at Sakura, but both their smiles faded when Kakashi clasped one side of a handcuff on Naruto's wrist.
"Kakashi-sensei, what are you doing?" Sakura asked him.
Kakashi smiled at her to show he wasn't angry at her, and said, "My team had to do this when we were all just becoming Genin, but maybe it'll work for you three, even though you're older." Kakashi clasped the other side of Naruto's handcuff to Sakura's wrist, and she gasped in surprise.
"Kakashi-sensei, what on Earth...how will we use the bathroom...how will we sleep?" Sakura gasped. "AND WHAT ABOUT SHOWERS?!"
"Relax," Kakashi replied as he handcuffed Sai and Sakura together with another handcuff. "These will only stay on until you learn to get along and respect each other." He clasped Sai and Naruto together with a third.
"How are we supposed to get around?" Sakura asked.
"Who will complete our mission?" Sai questioned.
"Team 10 is free, I'll get them to take it instead. And it won't matter how you get around, because those handcuffs won't stay on for long, right?" Kakashi winked at them. "Now, depending on which two of you start to get along, I will release a certain set of handcuffs. If you two come to your senses first, then the set tying you two together will come off and you will both remain chained to Naruto. If Naruto makes amends with both of you, then both of his handcuffs will come off and you two will remained handcuffed until the same thing happens. Got it?" Sakura and Sai nodded dismally. "Now go to sleep; it's getting dark. We'll return to the village in the morning. If there's an attack, I have a jutsu that releases the handcuffs. In fact, that's the only thing that releases them, so don't bother looking for a key. There isn't one."
"Damn," Sai muttered. He looked at Naruto for a moment. "Should we wake him up?" he asked Sakura as Kakashi left them alone.
"No way! He'll just be disoriented and even more annoying than usual. Let's just try to find a comfortable sleeping arrangement that works," Sakura replied. As it turned out, falling asleep in a triangle turned out to be harder than it would have been with two handcuffed people. Finally Sakura and Sai settled for laying against two trees, with Naruto snoring next to them. It was a miracle they even fell asleep at all, and before they knew it it was morning.
Author's Note: There's not much Saku/Naru in this chapter, but don't worry, I'll get there!