ER is the property of NBC, Inc. However, any additional characters that are not part of the TV drama ER are my property (so read, but don't touch :D )

Song: Back to You, by John Mayer

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late

"Ray what are you doing here?" Neela asked when she opened the door to Abby's apartment.

"Hi, Neela. How are you? Can I come in?" Without pause, Ray moved past her into the living room.

"Ray," Neela persisted, closing the door and turning around to face him, "what are you doing here?"

"I can't visit?"

"I thought we had decided that we should be…a little distant." Neela finished lamely.

Over you
I'm never over
Over you
Something about you
It's just the way you move
The way you move me

"No, Neela, we didn't decide that. You did. And that's fine with me and I understand. But now I want to decide something. And I need you to be honest with me. I know you know how I feel about you and me. But I don't know what you feel."

Neela looked at him in disbelief. She could feel anger stir up inside her and she struggled to maintain control. "I can't believe you just asked me that, Ray. Especially after what's happened—"

I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit every game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away

"No, Neela," Ray interrupted. "I'm not pressuring you into anything. And I know that you may think it's selfish. But you need to understand what I'm trying to say. I can't stand watching you suffer and it's so hard to stay away from you when all I want is to hug you and tell you that everything will be okay. But you told me to stay away and I am doing that. You know that I care about you. A lot. And I just want to know if you care about me too?"

Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I walk with your shadow
I'm sleeping in my bed
With your silhouette

The anger Neela had felt dissipated and instead she felt unsettled under Ray's anxious, probing gaze. "Of course I care about you Ray. I didn't know rocker boys could turn out to be such good friends."

The muscle in Ray's jaw twitched and he glanced down at his shoes and chuckled ruefully. "Yeah I guess. But apparently we just can't compare to EMS guys."

There was an awkward silence between the two, but Neela could swear that she heard all that she and Ray had shared slipping from her hands, crashing to the floor, and she could only watch stupidly.

"Ray…"

"No. It's okay," Ray said, smiling tightly up at her. "It's okay, Neela. I'll see you at work." He moved away, walking toward the door.

Should have smiled in that picture
If it's the last that I'll see of you
It's the least that you
Could not do

"Ray, wait." Neela reached out and put her hand on his arm and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "I promise I will tell you when I know the answer."

Ray nodded and walked out. Neela closed the door behind him softly.

Leave the light on,
I'll never give up on you,
Leave the light on,
For me too, for me too

That night, in bed, Neela cried for her dead husband, her ex-roomie, and her new boyfriend and the uncertain future.

Back to me
I know that it comes
Back to me
Doesn't it scare you
Your will is not as strong
As it used to be

That night, as Ray chugged down beers, he realized that he would have to move on. And that shattered him.