Tea, Anyone?

~*~

Genre: Humor/Drama

Rating: PG

Summary: Two characters exchange a debate of some of the pairings so common in HP fanfiction. cliché alert!

Warnings: Mild implications of slash/ shounen-ai, some spoilers for the books

~*~

Nataku (me): /pouting as she types on the keyboard/

Adrian: /undertone/ What the hell is she mad at?

Ken: /shrugs before seeing everyone/ Oh, hi? I'm a new muse.

Adrian: But aren't you from Digimon?

Ken: And?

Adrian: Aren't you in the wrong category?

Ken: Hey, I follow her orders. The job pays well enough.

Adrian: Good point.

Nataku: /muttering/ Damn Spanish projects.

~*~

Well, hello everyone! I normally don't do these types of stories. but oh well. Thought of while randomly IMing people and sustained only by Gatorade Ice and based mildly on Kielle's Blood and Warm Blankets. But then again that is a Lord of the Rings fanfic and this is a Harry Potter one. Sorry, Kielle, I don't mean to bite! /scuttles away into another dimension/

~*~

Ken: /shoved out in front of everyone/ What?

/A hand shoves a sign in his hands and hisses something/

Ken: /nods before clearing throat/ The author does not own any portion of the characters depicted in this fiction. Nor does she credit herself with the concept of the plotline. /dazzling smile/

Adrian: Idiot. /pulls him backstage as the many fangirls try to get in/

~*~

The sun shone, the birds sang, the clouds lazily drifted across the sky, two friends chatting outside. the perfect image of a perfect day.

"Bullshit," one of the two men muttered murderously.

"Bitter as always, no?" the other asked with a smile, though it was a rather wry one.

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Thank you."

"This is just too perfect," the first complained. "We're out in the sun, with cups of tea, no one in sight but us."

"Very true," the second agreed, nodding.

"We're both rivals as we go to different houses, everyone either expects us to be at each other's throats or snogging in the Astronomy tower."

There was a funny choking noise. "Snogging! Don't flatter yourself!"

"All right, all right, but are the rumors true?" the first asked slyly.

"About what?"

"About you and your friend."

"Give me a break! Ron and I are friends, get that? FRIENDS. Not in a million years. He is most not likely to go that way."

"What about Hermione?"

"Now you start calling her by name. She's nice enough, but she's too much like a sister for comfort. It won't work out."

"What about her and Weasley then?"

"They fight like an old married couple as always. Dunno how things will work out. It's all or nothing. They'll either live happily ever after or they'll murder each other in the first few weeks."

"My money's on Granger."

"Heh, smart man."

"What about Weasley and Wood?"

The second man sputtered. "Are you insane? They barely knew each other."

"Fine, fine, I'll let it drop."

"What about you and Ginny?"

"Her? She's pretty enough, compared to her brother. But no thank you."

"You and Ron?"

There was a silent pause from the first man. "You. Will. Be. A. Dead. Man."

"Call it revenge."

"No thank you. As it may seem to most that the whole 'rivals becoming lovers' is romantic, more often than not, it's impossible. I don't like him and the feeling is mutual."

"Fine."

"You heard about Percy and Wood?"

The first paused for a minute, but not in disgruntlement. "I wouldn't know. But I think Wood would have gone insane."

"True."

"You and Wood?"

"He's older than me for Christ's sake!"

"So?"

"It's- not right."

"True love knows no bounds."

"Shut up. He and I were strictly acquaintances."

"All right then. What about Lupin and Black?"

"Both of them? They never told anything. And as far as I could see there's nothing more than platonic interest."

"You never know."

"Right. Then again, it's more likely than Lupin and Snape."

The first man shuddered. "That is a frightening thought."

"Tell me about it. What about Snape and Lucius?"

"What? That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard."

"What works, works."

"When Hell freezes over."

The second man mused for a moment. "Heard about anything from Neville and Ginny?"

"Humph. Longbottom and her? I pity her."

"Neville's nice enough."

"As well as an ass."

"I'll admit he's a little dim but he's a good person."

The first snorted then abruptly changed the subject. "Anything going on between you and that Chang girl?"

The second stiffened a little before relaxing. "Naw, it was just a crush. The classic 'awkward hormonal little boy chasing after the beautiful older woman.'"

"Would have been cute."

"Right."

"Who knows?"

"So."

"So, what?"

"More tea?"

~*~

So. did any of you get it?

/Vehement "No!"/

/blinks/ Right then.

Press the little blue button. you want to press the little blue button.

Oh screw it, put in your guesses as to who the mystery speakers are!

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