A/N: Once upon a time, a magical thing called twitter happened, where I found some cool people. One of said wonderful people is Breelovessvu and THIS IS A COLLAB with her! She's fabulous! Anyways, this is set sometime after Chasing Theo, though you should know that the rest of season 18 is basically nonexistent and total shit. Thanks for the understanding. This fic has been mildly edited so if there are mistakes, that's on me (sorry!). I get tired of editing after working on something for two months... damn school, taking up my time ;) Usual disclaimers apply in regards to show, characters, etc.

The squad room was packed while the rain slammed down outside. On top of all the cases coming in, victims and witnesses giving statements, and interviews with perps, Liv was briefing her squad on what was about to happen within the next hour or so. She was about to lead Fin, Rollins, and Carisi into a sex trafficking bust. The dangerous situation had Olivia on edge after everything that had transpired over the past year. Thunder permeated the air, the rumbling settling in the ominous quality of the day.

"Please make sure you have your vests on and that We. All. Come. Back. Together." She punctuated every word with a sharp tone. "Is that understood?"

"Copy that Lieu" Carisi replied.

Fin and And Amanda nodded in silent agreement.

After they were all on board Liv continued, "Right now we are just waiting for confirmation from Chief Dodds."

Dodds' death had affected them each in their own unique way. Olivia questioned everything: her job, her role as a mother, her leadership skills, her relationship. Fin ended up stepping up to take the Sergeant's exam, but wished Rollins would've done it instead. Amanda struggled to keep herself in check and stay away from her addictions. When her life spiraled and shitty situations came her way, she always ran back to the familiar self-destructive patterns of old. This time, however, she had Jessie to think about and didn't succumb to the temptations. Angry was the only word to describe Carisi these days. He was beyond the regular scope of anger and erupted at anything and everything. He became a hostile shell of who he used to be, much to the dismay of those closest to him.

Now, with the impending bust, each was reminded of all that was lost over the course of the year.

Olivia sighed, knowing that she didn't have much time to get the squad focused and as prepared as possible for the day. Her eyes shifted close for a brief second as she willed away the thought that the day would end badly.

Ed was sitting in his car a few feet away from entrance of the precinct. He knew that Olivia wouldn't like for him to show up unannounced, but in the moment he didn't care. He had still been keeping up with SVU and the cases; he needed to know how she was doing. He couldn't stop thinking about her, nor did he want to.

He needed to see her. He needed to talk. Hell, he needed to touch her.

Ed strode purposefully into the squad room dressed in dark denim jeans and simple dark grey t-shirt; the rain had soaked through his clothes which now clung to him like a second skin, showing off his muscles. He had a shadow of stubble across his face, as obviously shaving was the least of his worries.

She was mid-sentence, still talking with her squad. When she saw him and paused, her squad turned around to see who had caught her attention.

Ed walked further into the squad room, "Olivia, I need to talk to you...Please."

Knowing that the Lieutenant needed a little push, Fin began speaking before she had the chance to answer.

"Well we're just waiting for the Chief. I'll get you when he gets here, Liv."

She shot him an inquisitive glare as he stood in defiance, clearly not backing down from his position. Fin may not have been friendly with Ed Tucker, but he had seen how happy Olivia had been with him, and the obvious shift in her when things ended.

Liv did not want to talk to Ed in her office with her squad being just a few feet away, so she decided to take him to the cribs, ignoring the probable implication that choice sent to the squad. A little privacy wouldn't hurt anything. Ed followed her gaze and led the way.

Once they were inside, Olivia leaned against the door closing it behind her. Her head tilted back slightly until it fell to the door frame.

Ed was pacing back and forth, and she couldn't help but think he was going to rub holes in the soles of his shoes.

"Ed," she sighed quietly. "What are you doing here?"

"I miss you. I can't stand being away from you. I don't want this to be the end of us, Liv. If you don't feel the same way…" his voice cracked. The whole statement came out of his mouth like a single rushed sentence.

Unable to let him keep going, Olivia spoke.

"Ed...I miss you. Very much. I was-I still am- going through a lot. SVU is my job. It's demanding, stressful, and frustrating as hell, but no matter how it is, I can't walk away from it. I don't want to. Noah is my son and my number one priority. I have to be there for him. You were what I thought..." She paused, taking a deep breath because even though she didn't want to say it, she felt that she had to. "I thought.. you would be the easiest to let go."

She raised her gaze to his, pleading with him for understanding.

Ed had already stopped pacing the floor, but hearing that last sentence made him dizzy. Deep down, he knew the meaning behind her comment, but it still stung. He had to sit down. Liv immediately moved from the door and sat next to him.

"Ed," she breathed. "When you left my apartment..." Unable to continue, she bowed her head and closed her eyes.

Ed turned his body to face hers. He rested his right hand on her left thigh, softly moving his thumb up and down, comforting her as much as he could. He put his left hand against her cheek, lifting her face to his eyes, encouraging her to continue.

"Liv, please talk to me."

"Can you come over tonight so we can talk can talk more? Well, I guess depending on how this case shakes out tonight." As much as she'd love to just take the afternoon off to get this all settled, Olivia knew that this case demanded nothing less than her full attention.

" I'll wait for your call. but I want you to talk to me right here first. Please." He rasped it so softly, the words tumbled out at an almost whisper, sending shivers down her spine.

"Ed, believe me when I say you are not the issue. I've spent most of life being self-sufficient. I've made a habit of not needing anybody else. And with Noah it means that I have to fight harder for him. It's not easy to accept that you want to be there for me. It's my own personal demon that I'm dealing with. I promise, you're not the problem."

Tears were forming in her eyes, and Ed didn't want her to cry. He knew she'd loathe returning to her squad with a puffy, red face. He never intended for her to get so emotional, and seeing her reaction crushed him. Fighting off his own emotional response, he steeled himself. His hand remained lightly against her cheek.

"Liv, baby, Please don't cry."

Liv pulled his hand from her face, bringing it into her lap, holding it with both hands.

"When you left my apartment, I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to run down the hallway and tell you that I needed you to just be here. To tell you how much I love you. But I saw the heartbreak in your eyes, and I knew that I hurt you. And then Noah called for me and I just…"
The tears began falling, hot against her cheek as she dropped her head.

"Olivia look at me."

"Ed, I have to go. I'm sorry. I just… I can't do this right now. I should be downstairs. I gotta go." She stood, slightly reluctant to let go of his hand, but determined to get the hell out of dodge, even for just a moment.

"Come back to me," he whispered.

She paused as she heard his words, spoken so softly, almost like a prayer, and then traversed the door frame, not looking back.

The squad room was radiating with nervous energy, a bit of apprehension and anxiety, as they prepared. The storms outside had ceased, but the charge left in the air was still evident. Vests were on, eyes were focused, minds were trying to narrow in on the task at hand: apprehending a trafficker that had escaped the grasp of law enforcement for years. This was their chance. Eerily similar to Johnny D, Anatoly Karoshkov had been buying and selling girls for years.

"Listen, he's escaped thus far, and that is not an option tonight. We've received what we perceive to be credible information that Karoshkov will be at an abandoned warehouse at 8pm." Lieutenant Olivia Benson commanded the attention of the room. "We have enough support to ensure the area is covered with our people, but I want this as neat as possible. I want that son of a bitch alive to answer for his crimes, and we need him if there's any hope finding the Siletski girls."

They had witnesses to the joint-abduction of Allison and Leanna Siletski, ages 14 and 16, that led them to Russian immigrant Anatoly Karoshkov's empire. He had friends in high places, a prominent member of his community, but that also meant he'd made enemies. Pimps that had been imprisoned loved to talk if it meant getting reduced sentences. The best the squad could figure from the suddenly helpful criminals was that Karoshkov been doing this for years, in both Russia and the United States.

Working jointly with the FBI, who'd reluctantly let SVU run point on the case but would no doubt swoop in for the credit if it went down as planned, the NYPD prepped the room. Both the FBI and the NYPD were ready. They had their assignments, they had the general layout of the warehouse, and they had every motivation to catch the bastard.

Snipers were set up on the roof of the building across from the warehouse with instructions to only shoot if absolutely necessary, as commanded by either Lieutenant Benson or Agent Perry. Information was in high demand, but they worked on the assumption that Karoshkov and his men would be armed and incredibly resistant to arrest.

As they crowded around the main entrance, Olivia nearest to the door and Amanda standing behind her, the agents going in with them readied and got into position. Fin and Carisi were at the back entrance with more agents. The squad and agents quietly made their way into the building simultaneously, clearing the first two floors rather quickly. Moving to the third floor, the one they'd deemed most likely the scene, they quickly shifted into formation.

Olivia, once again, was first. If anyone in her squad was getting hurt in any kind of way, it was going to be her. She kept telling herself that it was because she'd done this the longest, that she was quicker on her feet, but after losing Dodds, she couldn't stand the thought of another member of her squad taking a bullet that should've hit her. It was as if Liv jumped back into Detective mode but still held her title as Lieutenant, though neither one would have hesitated to open fire if need be.

Liv signaled with her hands, on the count of three. With all the strength she could muster, the heel of her black boot kicked the door in. They ran in, going in different directions, yelling NYPD. Young girls were crouched in the corners, tear-streaked and dejected faces, hollow eyes. Liv saw someone run toward the back and immediately followed. The whole place was utter chaos, yelling and crying, voices searching for answers in the disaster, footsteps from the NYPD, FBI, and the bastards running the place.

In the mess, nobody realized their Lieutenant was pursuing a suspect. For her part, Olivia didn't care if she had backup or not; she was getting the motherfucker that had taken those girls. Her focus zeroing in on the man she saw running, she chased after him, gun in hand, ready to do whatever necessary.

"Stop! NYPD" she yelled.

Immediately, the man turned his body, a sick smirk on his face, and drew his weapon. Anatoly Karoshkov. He didn't hesitate at all, firing his weapon at her the second he was turned toward her enough to aim. As if in slow motion, she watched as his finger moved to the trigger, and fired her own gun. Shots rang out from both, and more from the east side of the building.

"Fuck."

The impact of his bullet left her numb, while she stumbled backwards, falling against the wall. Sinking to the ground, and grasping at her left arm, the burning sensation, that she'd only previously heard about, began. She watched as Karoshkov fell to the floor, her shot apparently hitting him in the leg. His gun fell from his grasp; he reached down grabbing his thigh while his face distorted in agony.

"Liv!"

"Lieutenant!"

The voices seemed to run together, but the squad was suddenly by her side.

Fin radioed to EMS while Carisi and Amanda pestered their boss with questions.

"I'm fine. Just my arm. Go cuff him." She nodded in Karoshkov's direction and they followed orders. Looking up, she saw Fin's hard stare, his annoyance at her use of 'fine' evident. "I'm fine Fin." Shifting, she stood. "Fuck that hurts."

"I ain't gonna say nothin, but let's get you outta here, Liv."

Gritting her teeth, she moved with him. "Fine by me." Fuck this hurts more than I thought.

Pausing for a brief moment, the case came back to her. "Wait Fin. Did you find Allison and Leanna?"

He looked down for a brief second before answering.

"Allison has some minor injuries, but Leanna… she didn't make it. Allison said they dumped her body before they even made it back here," he explained sadly.

"Fuck." This time when she cursed it wasn't because of the bullet hole in her arm.

Ed downed the last of the amber liquid, the pleasantly familiar warmth settling in the back of his throat. He was trying to be patient, trying not to think about how she'd basically run away from him in the cribs earlier. There was something there. She'd wanted to say more, but she swallowed her words and left. Whatever she left unsaid was killing him. He fought the urge to pour another large helping of Bourbon in his glass, just to settle his nerves until she called. Hell, he'd even take a text at this point; he wasn't picky.

It was nearing 8:30, and he'd tossed his phone on the couch in a moment of agitation over an hour ago. He had yet to hear the fucking thing chime. He glared at it with animosity and disgust, pissed beyond belief that he hadn't heard from her. It wasn't that he was mad at Olivia, because he wasn't at all, he just couldn't take the waiting anymore.

Grumbling to himself, he stood from the chair and picked up the offending object from where it had been banished. Twenty-four notifications. What the fuck. I left it on silent!? Dammit to hell.

Officer involved shooting.

Officer casualty and officer injury.

Tucker, it was SVU's bust man. Head to Mercy.

The final text was from Cole, and Ed felt the blood drain from his face. He'd barely processed what he read before shoving on his shoes, grabbing his badge and keys, and leaving his empty apartment behind. His head was already in a fog, his movements happening without thought as his body propelled him toward her.

The drive took way too long. Each moment it seemed like eternity and his mind would not stop the what ifs. He couldn't take losing her. It would kill him. Living without her was already like he was only half alive, somehow breathing but not quite functioning. He missed everything about her: the sound of her laugh, the way her face lit up whenever she was around Noah, the way she walked, and the way she lifted that one eyebrow. He missed everything. He even missed when she would put her cold toes on his calves to warm them up, fully knowing it drove him absolutely mad. He hated that feeling… but he loved her. Ed Tucker would do anything to feel that again.

Please Liv. Please be okay. I can't do this without you forever. Dammit, I need you. Please, please be okay.

The hospital was buzzing with cops, just like it always did when one of their own went down. Brothers and sisters in blue was most evident when tragedy struck. The artificial bright lights illuminating the place made him feel sick, or maybe it was just the idea that something happened to her. He swallowed, trying to will whatever stomach contents to stay down, and searched for anyone who might have answers.

Dodds.

Picking up the pace, he tried to calm himself before launching into an interrogation of the Chief.

"Chief Dodds. What the hell happened?"

The panic on Tucker's face made Dodd's do a double take. He'd never seen the man so stricken before. He'd been a member of IAB and Hostage Negotiation for christsakes. Ed Tucker was usually cool as a cucumber under pressure, but he looked like he was about to pass out.

"SVU and FBI led a joint human-trafficking bust tonight to take down Anatoly Karoshkov, the businessman from Moscow who has significant ties here in NYC. From what I know, which isn't much by the way, they went in, found about fifteen underage girls, and made four arrests. An officer was shot by one of Karoshkov's men," he paused, steeling himself for the next revelation. Dodd's looked down and sighed before returning his eyes, full of sympathy, to Ed's. "And Karoskov shot Olivia."

So are we horrible people for deciding that Olivia needed to be shot? Oh well. Part two coming soon! Ed's reaction, family time with Noah, a discussion with Olivia, and maybe some other fun things. We'll see. Leave us a review if you feel so inclined, on here or on twitter! (They're immensely appreciated btw.) #Tuckson